Thrive

Thrive. 

To thrive means to prosper or flourish. 

Deborah K. Heisz and the editors of Live Happy magazine have published a book entitled Live Happy: Ten Practices for Choosing Joy.  Heisz writes, "We don't thrive by accident. Living a life that overflows with meaning and sustainable joy, one in which you look forward to each new day, requires a commitment to practice positive habits and attitudes that support and fuel your well-being."

Sometimes I find myself not really paying close attention to the choices I make. Sometimes staying committed to healthy habits is easier said than done. However, I like the idea of thriving in my life. I don't like letting each day roll into the next without affording it much thought. I'm willing to stay committed to the things that bring me well-being and allow me to thrive. 

Make It Count

Make it count. 

We all know that we won't live forever, but when another one of your high school classmates passes away, you start staring down your own mortality. It's interesting how differently you view your age depending on your age. 

In your early twenties you have a tendency to waste your age because you don't really appreciate it. You think you have all the time in the world, and sometimes you put off really major milestones thinking that age doesn't matter. 

In your thirties and forties you are too busy to give your age too much notice, except for when you look in the mirror. As you approach fifty you realize for the first time that your age might be getting in the way of things you might want to do. Regardless of whether you really want another child or not, it's not going to happen. Your skin is not returning to the taunt mess of your youth. You may have even been passed over for that promotion by a much younger co-worker. 

But even at this age you convince yourself that you might have another thirty or forty years left on this earth. And of course you naively envision these as really good years. You keep seeing yourself as that one in a million blowing everyone away as you fiercely dance the tango as a ninety year old. 

Now before you get too depressed, that is not my intention. Actually, I hope you view your mortality more pragmatically. You know it's coming, just not exactly when. Don't waste it. Don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself. Make each day count!

The Planner

The planner. 

I am an excellent planner. I made an entire career based around the lesson plan. I would spend hours of my free-time looking for new ideas for my classroom. 

Now as a teacher, I actually implemented those ideas. Unfortunately, this does not always happen in my personal life. My Pinterest account is a perfect example. Over the years I have managed to collect thousand of pins. However, the reality is that I have only implemented  a minuscule number of these ideas. 

I'm guilty of needing to read one more book, or article before I even consider trying something new. My reluctance to actually starting a project has to do with my aversion to making a mistake. Stephen M. Shapiro in Goal-Free Living states, "The key is to avoid becoming a planning addict where you never move out of the planning stages and into execution." 

These words really hit home when I first read them. Guilty as charged! They say the first step in making change is admitting that there is a problem. I'm ready to leave behind the need to be overly planned.

Exuberance vs Efficiency

Exuberance vs efficiency. 

I remember once feeding some seagulls in Longbeach, Mississippi. As they circled above my head I kept throwing Doritos high into the air. The gulls would swoop in closely to snatch a chip, never once actually making contact with me. I remember laughing uncontrollably as it was one of the most exuberant moments of my life. The experience was so completely freeing, and the act of being totally present in the moment allowed for sheer delight. 

I can't say that I have had many of those moments in my life. On the other hand I can attest to many moments of efficiency. It seems to be in my nature to want to systemitize each and every task. I look for ways to quickly complete a task in a short, precise manner. It doesn't take long for my system to become a routine. It is all very efficient. 

In reading Goal-Free Living by Stephen M. Shapiro he writes about life being directed by a compass and not a map. "Maps can be useful. They help us get from point A to point B as directly, and as efficiently as possible. But life is not about efficiency.  It is about exuberance. You can't map out passion." 

The definition of exuberance is, "the quality of being full of energy, excitement, and cheerfulness. What a wonderful way to spend your days. Rather than striving for total efficiency allow yourself to be exuberant. 

Aspirations

Aspirations.

What do you aspire to?  Are you too laden down by your goals?  Are you let down when you finally reach them? 

According to Stephen M. Shapiro, author of Goal- Free Living, "Goals represent a clearly defined end point, not the adventure in getting there!" He teaches that there needs to be a balance between your goals and aspirations.  

Aspirations may never be met without the structure of goals, however, "Aspirations help us to find meaning through a sense of purpose. Something larger than ourselves." 

I am very good at accomplishing goals. I have the discipline needed to be successful, and I am comfortable with delayed gratification. However, one important thing I have noticed is that I never really have a true sense of excitement once I meet my goal. In fact, sometimes there is even a sense of disappointment that it is over. 

My solution in the past has been to come up with a new goal to begin working toward. In reading Gretchen Rubin's new book about habits, Better Than Before, I was introduced to the concept of the Finish Line. For some of us having an ending point works counter to what you might think. With my own struggle to maintain a healthy weight it makes me wonder is weight loss simply a goal or is living a healthy lifestyle an aspiration? 

Aspirations are not just meeting societal norms, rather they are, "based on meaning found deep within your soul." I look forward to learning more about goal-free living, and how it might allow more for the enjoyment of the journey and not just the arrival at the destination. 

Drift Revisited

Drift revisited. 

I've written about drift before. Basically drift according to Gretchen Rubin is, "the decisions we make by not deciding."

I look back over the past seven years and I see a lot of drift. When I initially retired I had no plan in mind, except that I would be open to new opportunities. The problem with that was that I found myself fearful of new opportunities. Instead, I allowed myself to drift back into the familiar, just in a modified form. 

In the process seven years flew by. At this point in my life I don't have seven more years to waste. Now that I have fully embraced retirement, I don't want to fall prey to drift. I want to be intentional in the decisions I make. I don't think I have any time to lose to not deciding. 

The State of My Purse

The state of my purse. 

For me there is a correlation between the state of my purse and home, and the enjoyment of my life. I know for some clutter and disorganization is perfectly fine. In fact some creatives say they thrive in clutter. However, for me it is more of a sign of my life spinning out of control. 

As I switched purses the other day, and began pulling out the debris of my current life, I couldn't help but feel better that I was on my way to bringing more order to my days. Interestingly enough, included in my purse were an array of cough drop wrappers and prescription bottles. For me when my life gets too busy or out of control I'm guaranteed to get sick. The body seems to know how to react to stress, and somehow the only way it can get the rest it craves is to become ill. 

Now that I have the good fortune of time I'm ready to take back my purse and my home. The words, "Outer order contributes to inner calm," truly is my mantra. 

Retirement 2.0

Retirement 2.0

Yesterday was my last day working as a reading and math tutor for the district I retired from seven years ago. First of all how could seven years have flown by so quickly? Back in 2009 after thirty-one years of teaching I knew that I was ready to retire. I had an absolutely amazing class that year, and I decided I wanted to end my career on a Super Bowl high.  I had no regrets. 

What I did find, though, is that after all those years in education I completely identified as being an elementary school teacher, and I wasn't quite ready to give it up. For the last seven years I have either tutored part-time or subbed. 

This year as time went by I realized that I was ready to fully embrace retirement. I am looking forward to moving on as I see myself in a different light. I'm embracing being a grandmother, a writer, a student of life, and more of an adventurer of the endless possibilities available to me.

In the words of designer Eleanor McMillen Brown, "When you change one thing, rethink everything." I'm excited to do so. 

The Book Club Dilemma

The book club dilemma. 

I've always loved to read and a book club sounded just perfect to me. After I retired from full- time teaching I attempted two different book clubs. Unfortunately, my book club experience just wasn't that great. 

You see I have a problem reading a book that I don't particularly like, and I've gotten really picky about fiction over the years. I remember once agonizing through a book club pick. It was probably the worst book I had ever read, but I was determined to finish it before our next meeting. 

As it turned out I had to miss the meeting. It was kind of like watching American Idol the entire season and then missing the finale. Now to be honest every now and then I did come across a book that I really enjoyed, and probably wouldn't have known about if it hadn't been for the book club. 

So now I'm torn about what to do. Should I continue reading books that I enjoy on my own or try again with a new book club? I think I would enjoy the social aspect of meeting to discuss the books with other people, though. And thus the dilemma. 

Gumption

Gumption. 

Courage and confidence. I have had moments of gumption in my life. I think I learned it from my mother, and she from hers. 

I remember standing up to my boss one summer when he was unfairly chastising my friend and co-worker. I was only nineteen, and generally respectful to my elders and authority figures, but as I watched him I found myself compelled to step in. I simply could not let him treat her so unjustly. In the course of our conversation I pointed out to him everything I had done to improve his business. Prior to this encounter he had always looked for something to complain about each day. Often times it was something as simple as me failing to cover up my typewriter when I left for the day. 

At that point I only had a few weeks left before I returned to college and my job would end. However, he never said another negative thing again and treated me quite respectfully for the remainder of my time on the job. Sometimes you just have to muster up the gumption to speak up. 

"But I believe that girls need gumption, too, especially in this day and age. I believe you are a girl with gumption."

The Boston Girl by Anita Diamant

As it turns out all three of us, my grandmother, my mother and myself are Boston girls. 

Coffee Spoons

Coffee spoons. 

T.S. Elliott's words from the poem The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock are, "I have measured my days out in coffee spoons."  

What struck me about these words was the idea of a life being so small that it was measured in tiny amounts each day. Even the ordinary act of drinking coffee is simple and unspectacular until Starbucks comes along and elevates it to a whole new level. 

I don't want my days measured in coffee spoons. I don't want to limit my dreams. Recently an acquaintance posted about her big dream; something larger than she dared imagine. But she took that leap of faith, and her dream became a reality. 

What I gained from her experience was that if we constantly hold back, only allowing our days to be measured in coffee spoons, we may never know what we are truly capable of achieving. 

Mascara

Mascara.  

I've been using the same brand of mascara since I was a teenager. You know the hot pink and lime green one. One thing I've noticed lately is that my eyelashes appear to be thinning. It's either that or I actually can't see them as I inch closer to the mirror. 

The other day I was reading a posting about beauty products, and one of them happened to be mascara. Being in need of a tube I picked up the recommended brand hoping the end result would be thicker lashes. Turns out it really is a better product, and I was quite pleased with the results. 

This got me to thinking about other things I've stuck with over the years never really venturing out to try anything new. I remember years ago my best friend's mother made a habit of trying out the new products at the grocery store. It was always fun to be around when she was unpacking groceries. 

My own mother's grocery list rarely changed from week to week, and I seem to have followed suit. Just think of all the products I've missed out on over the years simply because I didn't want to give up that pink and green tube of mascara!

Graduation Cards

Graduation cards. 

I was searching for a graduation card the other day when I couldn't help but notice how inspiring they are. I think we all need a stack of graduation cards to keep us motivated. 

When you first graduate the world is your oyster as you contemplate your hopes and dreams.  As you continue on your way in life, though, you realize that just because you want something doesn't always make it so. I think for me my modest beginning teacher's salary was a wake up call that I might not be traveling the world or owning the dream car. Over time it seemed my days began to revolve more and more around obligations and responsibilities. 

As I read those cards I couldn't help but think about how they could apply to my 
own life today? Alongside the cards were some inspiring graduation gifts; some 
of those word wall art hangings. I couldn't resist the one that read Make Every Day Count. Perhaps it's not too late to reach for those dreams you once envisioned as a young graduate. 

Bucket Lists

Bucket lists. 

I'm not really a bucket list kind of person. Oh, there are things I'd like to do, but I've not committed them to a list. Well last evening if I were a bucket list kind of person, I could have checked off a big one. 

I'm probably one of the few who had never seen Wicked. It's something I'd wanted to do for years, but to be honest I'm not that comfortable with online ticket ordering, so each year when the show would come to town I would conveniently never get around to ordering tickets. This year, though, I was bound and determined to not let it pass me by again. I picked up the phone, talked to an actual human, got some advice about which seats were the best, and placed the order. 

Well, I must admit Wicked did not disappoint. The scenery was amazing, the singing outstanding, and the storyline clever. My husband and I had a wonderful night out, and I'm so glad that I didn't let it pass me by again. I'm really embracing intentionality in my life, and I want to take advantage of opportunities that come my way. As far as the bucket list goes, See Wicked, check!

Pinterest

Pinterest. 

So what's been on my radar lately? Actually I'm finding myself quite obsessed with Pinterest. It's the perfect way for an idea collector to hoard a collection that does not require a storage unit. 

With the school year coming to a close, and with nothing but time on my hands, I'm envisioning a summer of delicious food, an extremely organized home, and some fun craft projects. My plethora of Pinterest postings are definitely calling my name. 

I'm constantly amazed at the creativity that abounds, and the generous nature of those who share their ideas. As a teacher I always loved to give credit where credit was due to those amazingly creative teachers in the profession. Pinterest is the perfect venue to bring a little more creativity into your life. 

Novelty

Novelty. 

Novelty is the quality of being new, original or unusual. Psychologist, Elisha Goldstein teaches, "Novelty is one of the fastest routes to creating new neural connections." 

How can we bring more novelty into our lives? Especially if you are one who tends toward routine. But when you think of novelty as something that is actually good for you, it seems a win-win. 

I was reading yesterday about the lives of some famous artists, and a common thread between them seemed to be their thirst for novelty. What made them different from others of their day was that they were not content to settle for the status quo. For some, that meant that their work was not recognized during their lifetime. However, they would never had been content to be a carbon copy of someone else just to sell a painting. 

Look for novelty in your own life, and your brain will thank you. 

Less Ordinary

Less ordinary. 

The words on the Dove chocolate wrapper were, "Choose less ordinary." 

They were meant to inspire, encourage and motivate. I tend to lean more toward the ordinary. There is safety there. I am intrigued, though, by those who choose less ordinary. I wonder what motivates their actions, and where they find their courage? 

However, the wrapper did not say be outrageously unordinary, it simply said less. I think I can do that. 

Fixer Upper

Fixer upper. 

One of our new favorite shows is Fixer Upper. Who couldn't resist the antics of Chip and the charm of Joanna as they turn, "the worst house in the neighborhood," into the envy of the block? 

Fixing up something is admirable and resourceful, but what if something can't be fixed? I've spent a lot of time trying to fix situations which would have been better off left alone. I just kept thinking that if I kept on trying, worked hard enough, or managed and controlled enough eventually things would be better. This need to fix is really counterproductive. 

I would have been better off just letting people live and let live. Others choices might not be mine, but it is their choice to make. It's hard to accept this, and learn to back off when you've become pretty adept at being the Fixer. I think I'll let Chip and Joanna be the fixer uppers, and I'll get on with life. 

Serial Hobbyist

Serial hobbyist. 

I was watching Tiny House Nation the other day, and the tiny house inhabitant had a tiny house dilemma because she considered herself a serial hobbyist, and there just wasn't enough room for all her "stuff."

I had to smile at the term as I now consider myself a serial hobbyist. Now truthfully, it is easy to do when you are retired or should I say semi- retired like I am. What once took all your time, work, can be replaced with what Merriam-Webster defines as a, "pursuit outside one's regular occupation engaged in especially for relaxation." 

I remember a time in my life where I struggled to think of even one hobby I participated in. My fall back was always reading, but in some ways that didn't really sound too much like a hobby; not like stamp collecting. 

Today my list of hobbies still includes reading, but has evolved to include scrapbooking, crocheting, knitting, coloring, art journaling, blogging, photography, cooking and collecting. I'm still wanting to pursue sewing, Bible journaling, and crafting in the future. After the school year ends I anticipate more time to continue these pursuits. 

How about you? What hobbies do you enjoy?

Brave

Brave. 

Inspiration can come from many different places. Sometimes from the least expected. 

I've been watching a new series called The Family, and I was catching up the other day when I heard this phrase, "Be a little bit brave for a little bit of time." Being brave is a difficult thing. 

I used to think when I was younger that bravery had something to do with not bring afraid. I realized that I was not brave as an early teen. I knew at that moment that I would never follow in the footsteps of my childhood hero, Nancy Drew. What I didn't know then was that there would be many things I would not do because I was afraid. 

However, what I failed to understand at that tender age was that bravery didn't mean you weren't afraid. We all are afraid at one time or another. Bravery is actually doing it inspite of the fear. 

I wish I had heard this quote at an earlier age, because I think we all have the capacity to be, "a little bit brave," and knowing it is only for, "a little bit of time." Knowing this then might have changed a thing or two, but knowing it now is even better. 

Making Your Bed

Making your bed. 

Are you someone who makes your bed religiously every day? I admit that I am not. As a child making my bed was a torturous act required by my mother each morning. She was quite disciplined about daily chores, and attempted to instill this virtue in her six children. 

Now I must admit, I do not like the look of an unmade bed, and in a perfect world would prefer it to be neat and tidy. Unfortunately, the two minutes it does require is something I don't allow myself to do on the mornings that I work. Everything else takes priority over the bed. 

However, Naval Admiral William McRaven would beg to differ. In his commencement speech several years ago at the University of Texas he adviced graduates to begin their day with this small act. "If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another." 

Now this former Navy SEAL knows a thing or two about accomplishments. For me though, it is not the "should" of the task that encourages me to want to accomplish it. Rather, it is the completely selfish motive of a bed that is undeniably so much more enjoyable to crawl into at the end of the day. A made bed feels so much more comfortable than a crumpled, old wrinkly bed. 

Admiral McRaven continues with these words of inspiration, "By the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter." 

I wish I could be so "admiral" in my reasons why, but alas sometimes my bed is left unmade. However, at night it never fails, I always wish I had been more disciplined in the morning. 

Yes

Yes.  

There is power in saying yes. Yes seems to get the ball rolling. It opens doors and possibilities. 

Singer-songwriter Jason Mraz believes, "Yes is the key that unlocks potential." One definition of potential according to Mirriam Webster is, "existing in possibility." I love that! What a wonderful way to view the world. 

Mraz also states that yes, "...really is the key to creativity and that creativity doesn't happen if you say no." Using a key as a visual fits beautifully with the idea of unlocking potential and possibilities. 

Sometimes committing to yes is difficult. It might force you out of your comfort zone.  It might open the door to ridicule or rejection if you fall short. It might be hard to fit it into your already busy schedule. Saying no might just be easier. But life really is one opportunity after another, and each of those opportunities allow us to learn more about our world and ourselves. 

Now when I'm talking about yes, I don't mean one more committment, one more batch of cookies, or one more committe post. I'm talking about something you've always wanted to 

do, for whatever reason you've always talked yourself out of it. Maybe today is the day to say yes.