Aging

“Instead of stubbornly staying on known paths, afraid to stray, they look at what comes next with curiosity, expanding into whatever it may be.”

Twyla Tharp

I have just begun reading the book Keep It Moving written by choreographer Twyla Tharp. 

Her latest book is about how to approach aging. Not so much from the perspective of “chasing youth,” but rather as she says, “We need to face the fact that aging will happen to us along with everybody else and just get on with it.”

Tharp reminds us that age is not the enemy. Rather it is “stagnation...complacency...the status quo.”

As our movements slow down we allow our bodies to “constrict.” Sadly, the mind will follow suit if we let it. This does not have to happen. We don’t have to narrow our world. 

Tharp states, “With the time you’ve got, choose to make your life bigger.”

We shouldn’t cling too tightly to the path we are on when we have the opportunity to wander. 

I’m looking forward to continuing this book, and will share any other words of wisdom I glean along the way. 

The Great Idea

So apparently a couple of days ago at nap time, the youngest grandson announced that he had a great idea. 

He let his mom know that wouldn’t it be great if after he woke up from him nap they could go get some ice cream. He then proceeded to tell her he wanted the“white” kind which is actually my favorite too. 

Now I like the way this kid thinks. He knows what he likes, and he knows how to ask. And he’s young enough not to worry about how many WW points ice cream is. 😳

Brittany bring the best Mom ever took him and his brother for ice cream that afternoon since it was such a great idea. 

(By the way great was pronounced more like “gwate” and it’s really hard to resist anyone that cute!)

Wide Open Spaces

This year for Christmas my grandsons received bicycles from their Gigi and Pop. A few days ago my oldest grandson decided it was time for the training wheels to come off. 

Within a matter of minutes he was balancing quite nicely, and riding around the driveway. Brittany was quite impressed because her bike riding experience twenty-five years before had not been quite so effortless, and she had the scabs to prove it. 

While I was watching the boys yesterday I got a chance to see my grandson in action. He seemed so grown-up as he pedaled down the driveway. How had five years flown by so quickly, and wasn’t this boy learning to walk just yesterday?

And now here he was taking that first step toward independence. Driving away in his first pick-up truck will be here before we know it. Please time slow down. 

At one point I looked up and noticed that he had fallen. My first instinct was to jump up, rush to him to check to see if he was okay. I made myself stay put, and watched him pick up both himself and his bike. 

He yelled out, “I got it.” Then he pedaled back down the driveway closer to me , and said, “When you fall off, you get right back up.”

Yes, that’s exactly how it works in life, and I couldn’t have been prouder of him at that moment. We did talk about how he might have been cutting his corners just a little too tight, and to make sure to give himself a little more room when he turned. 

A little later that day his younger brother came flying past me on his bicycle with training wheels. Now that’s the one you’re going to have to remind to slow down when the time comes for him to drive that first pick-up truck. 

Asking “Dumb” Questions

I ask a lot of questions. In fact I ask so many questions that it can border on annoying.

Once when Chuck and I were newly married we visited Thomas Jefferson’s home Monticello. There was a boy of about twelve there who kept asking the docent questions about our surroundings. His parents never stopped him, and after a while it did become pretty tiring. 

Every now and then Chuck reminds me that I’m starting to sound a little like that boy. 

Asking questions has also led to embarrassment on my part. Once in seventh grade when I was in Sunday School I boldly held up my hand and asked what was circumcision?

One Sunday morning while reviewing the Ten Commandments for church I stormed into my parent’s bedroom asking what did adultery mean?

Today I have a million questions, and my daughter teases me that my go to answer is, “Let me google that.” She swears that I’m a five on the Enneagram with my unquenchable thirst for knowledge. 

Recently, while reading AdaptAbility by M.J. Ryan I came across a section where she wrote about the willingness to ask “dumb” questions. 

She told the story of the Cuban Missile Crisis where JFK eventually refused to take the advice of all the experts that were leading him down the wrong path. Kennedy began asking “dumb” questions, and insisted that his generals question their own assumptions. 

Many historians believe that if JFK had not questioned the advice of his generals there may have been a nuclear war. He kept prodding until they were able to discover a different trajectory.

M.J. Ryan included the following Chinese proverb to prove her point,

“To be uncertain is to be comfortable, but to be certain is ridiculous.”

Sometimes we have to be uncomfortable in order to find out more information.

Don’t just assume what people are telling you is accurate. Be willing to ask a few “dumb” questions, and take the time to dig a little deeper to be more informed before making decisions.

My Constant Companion

I’ve had several dogs in my life, but none like the one I have now. 

Cooper is literally my constant companion. He truly lives to be with me. 

When he was just a pup this was a real problem because he struggled with separation anxiety. Even me leaving the living room to go to the kitchen was stressful to him because he could no longer see me. 

When I would leave to run an errand he did not react well to being left in his kennel. Desperate, I called his breeder, and she gave me some great advice. 

She told me to stop looking at him. She said when I left him to be matter of fact about it, and reassure him that I’d be back. Then when I arrived home she said to ignore him initially and put my purse up first. Then she said to let him out, but not to make a big deal about it. 

Miraculously this solved the problem, and Cooper was less anxious about me leaving. Unfortunately, according to Chuck, even if I leave today while Chuck is there Cooper spends most of his time waiting patiently for me to return. 

That’s why I still kennel him when we both are gone. Cooper understands this routine, and knows that I’ll be back eventually. He doesn’t have to fret about why I left him out. 

As I’m writing this Cooper is curled up beside me comfortably on the bed. As soon as I get up to move to another room he will be there right beside me. Each week when I travel down to Comanche he sits beside me safely in his doggie seatbelt. 

When my youngest grandson talks about Mimi and Papa he always includes Cooper in the mix. One time when he was riding his horse he gleefully exclaimed that he wished Mimi, and Papa, and Cooper could see him. 

Cooper just turned seven so realistically for a poodle he has lived about half his life. Hopefully, I may be one of the lucky ones to be blessed with a few more years than that.

I can’t imagine having another dog like him. He’s my sweet little boy, Chuck’s namesake , and the smartest dog I’ve ever known. 

I feel extremely blessed to have him in my life, and know God looked down favorably on me the day I brought him home. 

Zoom

If you’d asked me a year ago about Zoom I would have been clueless. However, today Zoom has become a regular part of my life. 

Yesterday I zoomed with a group of friends that I used to meet monthly for dinner. Since the pandemic hit our monthly dinners have been put on hold. However, getting to still see each other from our computer screen has helped to fill the void. 

Since March I have participated in Bible Study, Weight Watchers and Book Club via Zoom. At first it was exciting to still see the members of each group. Looking forward to checking in with them helped make the staying at home not so bad. It gave the illusion that things weren’t so out of order. 

Sadly over time my Bible Study ended for the summer, fewer and fewer of the familiar faces from Weight Watchers were showing up for our meetings, and my enthusiasm for Book Club seemed to wane. 

Recently I started attending my Weight Watcher meetings in person. They have reopened their studio with strict guidelines in place. Although, there were only five of us in attendance this week it still felt good to be engaged in conversation again in person. 

I’m grateful for Zoom in many ways because it has helped me stay connected, but I do miss the old days when we showed up in person. 

Learning From Your Successes

Today at my WW (Weight Watchers) meeting my coach Kim made a really good point. She reminded us to not just learn from our mistakes, as we are often told, but to also learn from our successes. 

When you consider your actions when working toward a goal it’s easy to obsess on what you might have done wrong. Our failures have a way of hanging around reminding us that we have fallen short. 

But the reality is that we also have been successful along the the way as well. If you need motivation take a moment to look back on what you have done right. What actions have been successful in the past? 

How we view this journey we call life can be determined by how we choose to frame it. Yes, we certainly can learn from our past mistakes, but don’t let the lesson of your successes be forgotten. 

I’m going to remind myself of this as I go through my week, and fall back on what I know works when I need motivation. 

Trust in the Lord

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make straight your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

I found it fitting today to remember this verse, which has become a reminder to me of Who is in charge, and although I may not always understand why things work out as they do I am reminded:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who has been called according to His purpose. 

Romans 8:28

Coloring

One of my favorite pastimes these days is coloring. Each night as Chuck and I settle down to watch some tv I pull out my 72 count set of colored pencils along with a coloring book, and get to work. 

The pencils were a Christmas present from a year ago, and several of the colors have had to be replaced due to excess use. I find coloring to be just as satisfying today as it was when I was a child. 

I remember taking great pride in outlining and carefully shading in each page of my coloring book. Coloring contests are the only competitions that I ever actually enjoyed participating in. The idea of coloring outside the lines did not set well with me. 

Ideally, I’d love to outline each shape in marker, but since my couch is cream-colored I’ve basically stuck to a high quality colored pencil. I’m pretty discerning when it comes to my coloring books, and shy away from overly busy pages with small areas to color. 

What I really enjoy about coloring is that I don’t have to be an “accomplished artist” to end up with a pretty decent product. Coloring is relaxing, and generally easy to do. 

Right now I’m finishing up a few pages that remain in my collection of coloring books before I purchase some new ones. 

If you are looking for an enjoyable, relaxing hobby you might consider taking up or returning to coloring. 

Happy Third Birthday

How is it possible that my youngest grandson will be turning three this week? Wasn’t it just yesterday on that extremely cold January day that he was born? I remember the flu was particularly bad that year, and Brittany basically kept him home for the next month. 

The last three years has been a series of getting to know this little one, who is so different from his older brother. While his brother loves all things tractors, the younger one is all about racey cars, as he calls them. 

He was an early talker, and began expressing himself around eighteen months. He might be the younger brother, but he stands up for what he believes. Once when he was first beginning to talk I actually witnessed some verbal sparring over whether the sound we had just heard was either a truck or a car? 

The older one was insistent it was a truck, while the younger one stood his ground that it was a car. I couldn’t help but laugh that day anticipating the days to come. 

I must say that although this little one is all rough, and tumble, and extremely strong, you will probably not meet a more loving fellow. Between hugs and adorations of, “Mimi I love you,” this boy certainly has won my heart. 

His enthusiasm for life is infectious, and he’s all about Paw Patrol and the characters from Toy Story. Left to his own devices he would probably spend way too much time in front of the tv, but thanks to his Mom he gets plenty of time outdoors. 

His advanced vocabulary continually amazes me. Words like “situation,” “options,” “emergency,” and “chameleon” to name a few, are pretty common place around him. How can a two year old use these words so correctly?

It’s been fun getting to know him over the last three years, and Chuck and I were happy to see him this weekend to share a cupcake, and some “white” ice cream in anticipation of his upcoming birthday. 

Happy 3rd Birthday sweet boy!

Step by Step

I make an apple cider drink for Chuck and I most days for lunch. Each drink requires two teaspoons of apple cider vinegar in a full glass of water. 

Now four teaspoons a day really doesn’t sound like much, but what I’ve noticed is how quickly the I go through a bottle. 

Just the other day I noticed it was half full (as opposed to half empty, but that’s just the way I roll) and I was surprised because it seemed like just yesterday I’d bought a new bottle. 

As is often the case my mind began to contemplate the power of small acts done consistently over time, and how powerful they can actually be. 

I saw this quite plainly years ago when Chuck had open heart surgery. When we returned home he was supposed to walk around our house for one minute each day. As I walked beside him holding him steady we continued to add a minute each day as the weeks passed by. 

Before we knew it we were at the mall walking thirty minutes at a fast clip, with me barely able to keep up with him!

Sometimes a task can seem so overwhelming that we don’t even know where to start. Oftentimes the best thing to do is to just begin. Even that first small step or action can make a difference. 

You know what they say, “The way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.”

Don't underestimate the power of the small.

Budding Photographer

Yesterday while babysitting my grandsons, I decided to pick up a few of the toys to give the boys a little more room to play. 

A few minutes later my youngest grandson, who is almost three, picked up my i pad and snapped a picture. When I looked at his photo I couldn’t help but notice several rows of photos above it that actually included me as the subject. 

By the look of the toes in the photos my older grandson, who is five, had apparently done a photo shoot of me and his younger brother on the sly. On second glance I counted thirty-three photos. 

I asked him about it, and he admitted he was the culprit. I must admit I got a good laugh out of the whole thing. 

Getting to spend time with these two boys has really been a lot of fun. They definitely keep me on my toes!

Snow Day

Yesterday I drove down to Comanche, and along the way I had a nice surprise. Although, the roads were perfectly clear, everything else was still blanketed with snow. 

It was so picturesque to see the rolling hills covered in white. Although we had a flurry or two in Euless nothing ever stuck, so getting to enjoy the beauty of the snow was unexpected. 

As I reminisced on snow days of the past I remembered my first year to teach it snowed, and I had made a snow family of three using the snow on the hood of my car. 

The next morning I had gotten up to go to school, and there stood the little family like a huge hood ornament on my car. Rather than knock them off I decided to drive to school figuring that by the time I got there they would have slid off the hood. 

Remarkably, they were still in tact when I got there. I remember bringing my class of kindergarteners out to the parking lot that morning to see them. They were delighted, and I was tickled that I had driven the whole twenty minute drive without losing them. 

If I don’t experience any more snow this winter, though, it will be perfectly fine to me, but I sure am glad some stuck around long enough for me to enjoy the view.

Your Element

I recently finished the book, “Finding Your Element“ by Sir Ken Robinson. The book was interesting, and left me thinking about one particular point. 

Robinson believes,

“Being in your Element is where your natural aptitudes meet your passions.”

Aptitude is defined as an “inherent ability.” Robinson points out that there may be aptitude’s that you are unaware of because you have never actually experienced something. 

I have no idea if I am any good at snow skiing, water skiing or playing the violin because I have never attempted any of these. 

Now I can surmise that since I seem to not be athletically inclined, any kind of skiing probably wouldn’t have been my cup of tea. I’ve dabbled a little with piano and guitar, but didn’t seem to show a natural aptitude so I’m probably not an undiscovered violinist.

That being said it made me wonder what opportunities might have not popped up upon my radar that I might possibly have a natural aptitude for? Robinson is also quick to point out that aptitude and abilities are not necessarily the same. 

When I reflect on my teaching career I’m not really convinced that I was a natural born teacher. However, over many years I honed my abilities, and ended my career as a good teacher. 

Robinson encourages seeking out new opportunities to try. He also states that just because you have the aptitude for something you might not actually have any real interest or passion in doing it. 

This reminded me of one of my favorite sayings by Gretchen Rubin, “We can choose what we do, but not what we like to do.”

More so, Robinson reminds us, 

“Part of finding your Element is being open to the possibility that it might lie in a field you’ve never explored.”

I find this fascinating because over time I have narrowed my “interests” to areas where I know I can find success.

My point here is that it is never too late to check out something new. 

Wouldn’t it be exciting to discover a new found passion?

A Trip to Hico

Saturday Chuck and I made a very important trip to Hico, Texas. 

You see back at Christmas Brittany and Will gifted us some really amazing chocolate from a little chocolate shop in Hico. 

After sampling it Chuck and I knew we wanted more, and were curious to check out the store in Hico. I had visited it one time before on a road trip with some friends from high school. 

Now Hico is a small town about twenty minutes southeast of Stephenville. As it turned out we had a meeting in the Stephenville area, and Chuck suggested we high tail it to Hico when we were through. 

We had finished up the chocolate, and were craving some more of the confectionary delight. We had savored it for days by cutting it up into small pieces each night after dinner. As long as we were in the area we figured we’d stop by and check out the place. 

Who knew what other treats they might offer?

Wiseman House Chocolates is located right next to the Koffee Kup, and if you are in need of a tasty lunch followed by a piece of pie then make plans to stop by after purchasing your chocolate. 

While at Wiseman’s be sure to check out the variety of chocolates, along with several other gift items available. The atmosphere is quite charming because it is actually an old house. My friend Kathy tells me that their sipping chocolate is divine, and is much richer than hot chocolate. The next time I return I will make sure to get some. 

Chuck and I ended up buying their variety pack with three different types of chocolate , and a small bag of truffles. We sampled some last night after dinner, and they were luscious! 

According to their website:

“In 1996 artist and chocolatier Kevin Wenzel first opened the doors to the Wiseman House to begin offering fine handmade chocolates to the public. Having studied fine arts in Europe, Asia and the U.S., and chocolate making at a fifth generation chocolate school in Pennsylvania, this confectioner’s son possesses the perfect combination of talent, training, and heritage for this delicate art.“

Who knew that you could find a chocolatier in a small Texas town? 

Luckily our property in De Leon is just down the road. 

                                       

StoryWorth

 

                  For Mother’s Day this last year Brittany signed me up for StoryWorth. 

Each week I am e-mailed a question to write about my life. I also have an option to include a picture with my story. 

At the end of the year the stories will be compiled together into a hard backed bound book to be shared with my family. 

Now the task of actually writing a memoir of your life is probably overwhelming even though you may have considered doing so. StoryWorth, on the other hand, is a manageable way to record stories of your life with a nice finished product at the end. 

This is a gift you might want to buy for yourself to have a lasting legacy to leave to your children and grandchildren. Imagine even a great grandchild picking up the volume of your life and learning more about someone they may never have met. 

I’m including the link below if you are interested. 

https://www.storyworth.com

Choosing

Traditionally the new year begins with a list of resolutions that are conveniently broken before the start of February. 

Do you ever wonder why that is? 

I came across this quote a few months back, and although the author makes it sound so simple I’m not really convinced.

Ali Salah says, “You can change anytime. You just choose not to.”

Now there probably is a lot of truth to this, but is it actually so cut and dried?

Ultimately we are responsible for our actions, but do we ever get a pass for being human? As much as we may aspire to change something, our human failings come into play. 

Some people seem to have a natural aptitude for self-discipline and accomplishment, while others struggle to do so. 

Do you really think it’s this simple?

Have you had success in changing your habits?

Clinique Bonus

I’ve been using Clinique’s 3 Step Cleansing system for thirty years now. I started using it a few months after Brittany was born, and I remember the girl telling me if I used it faithfully it would make me look five years younger down the road. 

Well who knows how truthful that statement was because gravity seems to take hold, and pretty much everything heads south anyways. However, what it did do for me was finally get my acne under control. 

Sadly, I suffered with acne from about age thirteen into my early thirties. I visited a plethora of dermatologists along the way to no real avail. However, when I started religiously used Clinique’s 3 step process I had clear skin for the first time in my life. 

One thing that I’ve done over the years is try to buy my products when Clinique is having a bonus. That way I walk away with several free travel size products. I usually check online to see which store is having the bonus at the time I need a new product, and buy accordingly.

Every now and then it doesn’t work out, and I buy what I need without the bonus. This month I knew I was needing more soap and moisturizer. Unfortunately, the next bonus wasn’t until February. 

As I thought about it, I remembered that I had several of those travel size bottles of moisturizer so I should be okay until the next month. As I eyed the tiny sliver of soap that was left I figured I’d go ahead and buy the soap this month. 

It was then I realized that in the past I’d saved several of the tiny slivers of soap for travel purposes. Sure enough, after digging through my cabinet I located plenty of soap to get me through the month. 

So happily, next month I’ll purchase all my products, and walk out of the store bonus in hand. 

Funny thing, though, Chuck is actually five years younger than me, and I’m sure that girl’s sales pitch resonated with me way back then. I’ve been a faithful customer ever since. 

Change and Adapt

I mentioned the other day that I had returned to the library for the first time since February. I was not only excited to return since it had been so long, but I was also excited to see the library itself. 

It had been under renovation for almost two years, and I was curious to see how it had turned out. When I got there it didn’t disappoint. Everything looked quite lovely. 

As I began looking around I noticed that the categorizing system of the books had changed. For the first 64 years of my life the library has always revolved around the Dewey Decimal system. Now I can’t say I ever totally memorized it, but I did know which sections I liked. 

What I discovered was that my library had gone to a Book Store model where the books are categorized by subject. Now I know in many ways this probably will be easier in the long run, but I had no idea where each section was or exactly where the books I liked to read were housed. 

I found myself getting a little agitated about why in the heck they had changed a perfectly good system that had worked fine for me my WHOLE LIFE!

It was then I realized that I’m generally okay with change as long as I am initiating it. Moving from Frisco to Las Colinas, and then to Euless a year later was actually an adventure that I embraced. 

Changing the library shelving system, on the other hand, almost threw me over the edge. It brought back memories of the time my library replaced the card catalog with a computer. Horrors! 

Somehow I managed then, and I’m pretty sure I’ll adapt to this new system after another visit or two. 

I guess the reality is that everything changes in life, and adapting to change is just part of it.