Secrets of Adulthood- Day 5

  “We can change our lives without changing ourselves.”

When I was thirteen, I came across a book at the library titled A New You.  For the next few years, I checked that book out continually, hoping to become a new me.

What I didn't know then, and barely know now at times, is that there really isn't anything intrinsically wrong with me. I didn't need to be a new me; I just needed to be me. 

Thirteen is a hard age, as you begin falling into the comparison trap. Each new acne breakout only confirms what you know to be true. You aren't good enough in the eyes of the popular girls. 

As the years have ticked by, I've realized that when considering the changes we want to make, we need to take our own temperament into account. 

Rubin’s book, The Four Tendencies, helps us to identify our natural way of doing things. She explains that by using techniques geared toward our specific type, we have a better chance of meeting our goals. 

It's best to embrace your natural self and, like Rubin says, “Be Gretchen.” I remind myself to “Be Shari” often and have stopped making excuses for who I am. 

I encourage you to do the same.

Secrets of Adulthood- Day 4

 “Habits are the invisible architecture of everyday life; we can change ourselves by changing our habits.”

What are your habits? Both good and bad. 

I bet you automatically brush your teeth in the morning before you leave the house. It's probably something you don't even give any real thought to, because you've done it for so long it's just become a part of who you are. 

Unfortunately, we all have some of those not-so-good habits that we wish we could curtail. Without these, New Year's Day would just be another day of the year. 

Gretchen Rubin has studied habits and even wrote the book Better Than Before about ways to create new habits and let go of the ones you don't like.  I highly recommend this book if you are serious about making real changes. 

Think about the idea of architecture and how the structure of a building determines how sound it is. When we were building our home, we were excited to learn that metal buildings didn't require the same kind of load-bearing walls as most traditional builds. 

This gave us the freedom to design our floor plan the way we wanted. By creating habits that strengthen our lives, we can gain real freedom from constantly making decisions. 

I don't drink tea or Coke, so ordering a drink at a restaurant suddenly becomes easier. It's water or an occasional fancy lemonade drink. 

Trying to get in 4,000 steps before noon will pretty much assure me I get enough steps for the rest of the day without really trying. 

Setting a timer for thirty minutes makes it easier to get my reading done. 

So consider yourself a work in progress and what architectural features can you include to make habit-building easier? 

Secrets of Adulthood- Day 3

 

“It's easier to change our surroundings and our schedules than to change ourselves.”

We’ve all been there. The number on the scale goes up. A corner of our house has gotten out of control. We find ourselves easily winded when taking a walk. 

That's usually when we decide to change. We get highly motivated and pretty much white-knuckle our way through the next week. 

Except we find ourselves returning to our old ways because our discipline begins to wane, and we are right back to where we started. Or even worse. 

Rubin states in this secret of adulthood that trying to change our nature is not only difficult, but probably impossible. So what’s a person to do?

Start changing your surroundings and your schedule. Don't pick up that bag of chips from the grocery store. “Out of sight, out of mind.”

Rubin gives the tip of keeping your tennis shoes next to your bed so you can put them on first thing in the morning and get into the habit of a morning walk. 

Setting an alarm on your phone for bedtime makes it easier to get more sleep.  

Filling my Owala bottle with water in the morning makes it easier for me to drink more water throughout the day. 

These simple changes to my surroundings and schedule have made it less difficult to make the changes I want without relying fully on my self-discipline. 

What is something you've struggled to change, and could changing your surroundings or schedule help you accomplish your goal?

Secrets of Adulthood- Day 2

“What we do every day matters more than what we do once in a while.”

Have you ever noticed how people tend to point out what they’ve been doing wrong instead of what they’ve done right?

The extra chocolate chip cookie, the missed day at the gym, being lured down the rabbit hole of the latest internet conspiracy all seem to get our attention. We’ve all been there to one degree or another, and we are often quick to beat ourselves up for missing the mark. 

However, when you think about it, it's not the few times we mess up that gets in the way. What makes the difference is what we do most of the time. 

By nature, I've been more of an all-or-nothing kind of person. If I can't do things perfectly, then I'm quick to give up. I'm still learning to extend myself some grace, just as I would to others. 

So now, when I don't measure up perfectly, I remind myself of this little secret and quickly inventory all the things I've done right that week. 

I hope you can remember this too. 

Secrets of Adulthood Day 1

Well, it's October again, and for me that means another 31 Day Writing Challenge. This year I'm using Gretchen Rubin’s book, Secrets of Adulthood, as my inspiration. Gretchen is an author and podcast host who writes and teaches about happiness. She has written several books, but she's probably best known for The Happiness Project.

Each day this month, I’ll be writing about one of the many secrets of adulthood that Rubin mentions in her book. I hope you’ll follow along and perhaps will take a few to heart. 

“Accept yourself, and expect more of yourself.”

About ten years ago, I was sitting in a movie theater waiting for the show to start. I was contemplating something I really didn't want to do and making excuses not to. On a whim, I fired off an email to Gretchen Rubin, convinced she'd agree with me. She always promoted authenticity, and I couldn't help it if I didn't want to do something. I was so sure she would tell me to “Be Shari.”

I was shocked that she actually responded to me, not immediately, but soon after, and was even more shocked by her response. Instead of confirming my instincts just to be me, she responded with the following quote: “Accept yourself, and expect more of yourself.”

Wait! I can't just sit back insisting that my behavior is just the way I am. No questions asked. Was I supposed to expect more of myself?

Gretchen certainly put me in my place, but in a good way. 

As important as it is to be true to yourself. Shakespeare was correct. It's probably just as important, if not more, to rise to the occasion. To push yourself. To venture out of your comfort zone. 

When can you expect more of yourself?

Waco

 

Chuck and I decided to take a little day trip to Waco this week. We needed to stop by Sam's, and after a little investigation, I learned that there was one just seven minutes north of Waco in Belton. 

We had already done the whole Magnolia thing, so we decided to go a different direction this time in spending a day in Waco. 

We started at the Dr. Pepper Museum, and although I'm not a fan of Dr. Pepper, I highly recommend the museum. The story of carbonated beverages goes all the way back to 1767, when an English chemist named Joseph Priestley invented them. 

The unique blend of flavors that created Dr. Pepper was invented in Waco, Texas, in 1885 by a local pharmacist named Charles Alderton, one year before Coca-Cola. 

We also learned that Big Red was made first in Waco. It was released in 1937 from Perfection Barber and Beauty Supply Company. 

Before we left, we had a complimentary glass of both Dr. Pepper and Big Red. After my disastrous experience in 1968 at a Stuckey’s (you know, the precursor to Buc-ee's) with my first exposure (and, to be honest, pretty much my last) to Dr. Pepper, I wasn't too hyped about trying the elixir. 

I must say, it wasn't too bad, but I'm definitely a cola girl. Chuck had never tried Big Red before and found it too sweet and candy-like for his tastes.

After we left the museum, we walked over to Spice Village. Did I mention we were able to avoid paying the $10.00 parking fee for the museum by parking on the road? I had visited Spice Village once before with my childhood friend, Ann Marie. I didn't remember it having so many clothes. Boutique shopping has never really been my thing. 

We left and headed for a bookstore that had popped up on my Facebook feed. Fabled is a lovely bookshop, although the advertised cafe turned out to be just refrigerated sandwiches, which were gone by the time we got there. 

Chuck got an espresso, and between the two of us we purchased four books: Jane Eyre, Fahrenheit 451, Writing, Creativity and Soul by Sue Monk Kidd, and On Writing by Stephen King.

We left the bookstore and had lunch at The Olive Branch. Chuck had a delicious brisket sandwich and I had an underwhelming chicken salad. You’ll be happy to know that I jazzed it up the next day with grapes, pecans and Bill’s seasoning and it was quite tasty. I will say their croissant was excellent as was their homemade chips. 

All four destinations were within walking distance. 

From there we headed to Sam's and stocked up on a few things, including the petite pickles that we are quite obsessed with. We picked up a couple of extra jars for our pickle-loving middle grandson. 

On the return drive home, we passed by the mall, which I had forgotten about. Since it housed both a Kohl’s and a Belk’s, I figured I'd be making a return trip. 

The beauty of it is that Waco is only an hour and forty-five minutes down Hwy 6, and it is a peaceful, enjoyable drive. No worrying about the traffic jams of the metroplex. 

A Tale of Woe

 Forty-one years ago on my honeymoon trip to the Bahamas I brought home a small, unassuming souvenir-a thimble. Little did I know that it would lead to a thimble collection that now fills a large printer’s tray. A collection that now requires another tray. 

Searching for thimbles has become a quest of epidemic proportions. Over the years as we have traveled from place to place I have loved the thrill of the hunt. A few years after I retired, we took a trip through Kansas, Colorado, Wyoming and South Dakota. I came home easily with eight thimbles. 

However, a few years ago on a trip to Ruidoso, New Mexico, I found it quite difficult to locate many thimbles. In talking with a shop owner, I learned that they just aren’t being manufactured anymore. I guess the demand was just not there. 

Over the years I have kept my eyes open in antique shops for others’ collectionsand I've filled in the gaps with some of these finds. However, after this year’s road trip I've sadly had to accept the fact that souvenir thimbles are a thing of the past. 

Why hadn't I brought home a shot glass from my honeymoon? It appears shot glasses are still a hot commodity. Who knew?

So far in this trip I have been able to locate two and am thrilled about that! I've come to the conclusion that I may have to resort to eBay to continue my collection.