Secrets of Adulthood- Day 19

                                                             “It’s okay to ask for help.”

Why would asking for help be so difficult for some?

Perhaps because they don’t want to burden others. They may feel that asking for help signals incompetence. Some may be embarrassed about asking a “stupid” question. 

All of these could be valid excuses, but I have found that most of the time people are pretty willing to help if you need it. 

When my dad went into memory care, there was so much I didn't know. I was forced to start asking for help, which didn't come easy to me. From his caretakers to his banker, everyone treated me with respect. No one made me feel bad for asking. 

I found that if I started the conversation by saying, “I have a question for you,” it was easier for me to ask. Kind of like a buffer zone of sorts, before I blurted out my actual question.

If you find it hard to ask for help, start in the produce section at your grocery store—pretty low pressure. 

Secrets of Adulthood-Day 18

Abstinence can be easier than moderation.”

I have found this to be true for me in some situations. Instead of struggling back and forth with moderation, sometimes it's easier to say no. 

I've found that if I tell myself, “I’m not eating the chips today,” before entering a Mexican restaurant, I'm much more likely to succeed than if I kid myself into thinking I’ll only eat a few. 

The old Lay’s potato chip commercial reminding us that “No one can eat just one” is basically true for me. 

In the past, once I committed to Weight Watchers, I did a good job staying on track. Once I moved to the maintenance phase, things became more difficult. Living in moderation can be a struggle for me. 

However, moderation is a more realistic approach. What works best for you?

Are you more of an abstainer or a moderator?

Secrets of Adulthood- Day 17

                                         “Misadventures often make the best memories.”

As much as we try we really can't control all circumstances. However, when we look back at our lives our fondest memories are rarely those “perfect moments.”

More times than not, it’s those not-so-perfect moments that keep us laughing. 

One time while visiting Las Vegas, we decided to visit the Grand Canyon. We were told it was just a short drive away. When we arrived it wasn't anything like we expected, so we made the choice to continue five hours down the road to what we referred to to as “the real Grand Canyon.”

As we were leaving our first stop we got out of the car to check out a sight. While standing there a tour bus from Las Vegas came barreling down the dirt road on two wheels. For a second we saw our life flash before our eyes. 

Truthfully, we never were in any real danger, but it did make for a good story! 

Secrets of Adulthood- Day 16

 “When uncertain how to proceed, choose the bigger life.”

I love this! Often we don't know what to do next, but when weighing options, lean toward the one that challenges you and pushes you out of your comfort zone. 

Ten years ago, when my husband’s work moved to a new location, we could have stayed where we were. It would have meant he could no longer ride the DART bus to work and would have to commute by car. So for the first time we started considering a different life. 

We took this opportunity to make some changes. Over the next ten years, we moved three times, spent a carefree year living in an apartment, sold our property in East Texas, and bought land and built a home near our daughter, son-in-law, and grandsons. 

When given the chance to say yes to something new, I advise taking it. I've tried things I didn't continue, but I don't regret giving them a chance. 

So the next time you face a decision, think about which choice will lead to a bigger life. 

Secrets of Adulthood-Day 15

 “Whenever we choose one path, we must forgo other paths.”

I find this secret to be very profound. Basically, it means that when you say yes to one thing, you are saying no to another, so you'd better be discerning about what you choose. 

I find this to be especially true when it comes to time. It's the one resource we can never get back.  For this reason, you need to guard your time as often as you can. It's too easy to find yourself caught up in an afternoon of Facebook reels. By saying yes to doomscrolling, you are saying no to a good book, a phone call with a friend, or even a new hobby. 

What are you trading when you say yes?

Secrets of Adulthood- Day 14

 “Outer order can contribute to inner calm.”

This is actually one of my favorite secrets of adulthood. I came across Rubin’s words over ten years ago, and more than anything, they confirmed what I'd known in my heart of hearts. 

When my life was in order, I felt a peacefulness inside. I had instinctively been trying 

 to order my world all along, not realizing how important it was. 

Now a simple way to begin is to order your space.  I have found that the state of my purse can reflect the state of my mind.  Taking time to clear the clutter leads to a calmer demeanor.

So if you've felt a little discombobulated lately, check whether something in your life needs to be ordered. 

Secrets of Adulthood- Day 13

                                         “More lawn, more mowing.”

My husband can really relate to this. After moving to the country, he became responsible for mowing three acres of land. In our last two homes, with much smaller yards, we hired someone to mow them. 

I remember our first house was small enough that I could vacuum it within a matter of minutes. When we moved to a larger, two-story house, I was never able to vacuum the entire house at once. It became a two-day job. 

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying you shouldn't aspire for more if that's what you want. What I am saying is to be careful what you wish for.

And remember the larger the lawn, the longer the mow.