The Path of Least Resistance

I've recently come across an idea developed by Robert Fritz in his 1984 book, The Path of Least Resistance.

Last year, I wrote about how our brains naturally conserve energy, avoid pain, and seek pleasure.  Learning that made me feel a little better about not always following through on my goals. Who am I to go against my natural God-given inclinations, after all? Except, I knew there had to be more to the story.

That’s where the path of least resistance came into play. Just as water naturally flows down the path of least resistance, so do we when it comes to our behavior.  Fritz has a theory of how we can get around this.

Basically, he teaches:

“Your life naturally flows along the ‘path of least resistance,’ determined by the underlying structures you've created-often unconsciously. Change the structure, and your results change.”

What we’ve all probably learned along the way is that discipline and motivation will only go so far. Over time, you will often find yourself returning to old habits, you know, the path of least resistance. Just like that water trickling down a stream, you find yourself rolling back to the habits you tried so hard to change. 

Of course, this can be frustrating, and eventually you might even want to throw your hands up in defeat. 

Except, this time don't. Give yourself a little grace, considering you are hard-wired to seek this path. You know, the old conserve energy, avoid pain, and seek pleasure thing.

Fritz teaches that structure can determine your behavior. Like a rubber band being stretched at both ends, you end up with structural tension between where you are and where you want to be. 

If you can define both places clearly, you are more likely to accomplish your goals. You will be pulling more toward what you want, and like a stretched rubber band, releasing what you don't want. 

However, if your life is driven more by habits that you keep breaking than by a structure you create, you will find yourself repeating these same patterns over and over again throughout the years. 

Often, these structures focus more on what you don't want, not on what you really want to accomplish. 

So what exactly is a creative structure? You need a specific result, an honest assessment of where you are now, and a type of structural tension to bridge the two. This is not motivation or positive thinking. It's actually the structure you set up that propels you toward your goal. 

The first thing you need to do is to choose a clearly defined desired result. Don't fall for the old “I want to eat healthy” routine. It's just not specific enough to help you see results. This is called the primary choice. 

Next, you need to be brutally honest about your current situation. However, this is not an opportunity to shame yourself. Just say it like it is. Your current state is not supposed to be your enemy. It's the other end of the structural tension you are setting up. Remember the rubber band?

Now you have both ends. Where you are and where you are going? This tension will be what pulls you forward. This is beyond motivation, which more often than not wanes.

At this point, you are ready to take actions that move you toward what you want. Instead of working on what fixes the problem, ask yourself what you can do to move forward. Now you are not just reacting. You are creating the life you really want. 

When our goals are set only to fix a problem, we often get stuck, oscillating between the two ends of the rubber band. Once we begin to feel better, we find ourselves stopping because our brains like to take the path of least resistance, you know, conserving energy. That's when the cycle of starting and failing begins. Eventually, it gets harder and harder to start. 

Unless you can change the structure, the cycle will continue, regardless of your willpower. 

So, where does this creativity come about? It has to do with the decisions you make. These choices help give you the stability and direction you need. The energy to do so will be a consequence of your actions. 

“You become the architect of your life rather than a manager of problems.”

Instead of changing habits, pushing harder, trying to be more motivated, you change the structure. Once you get the structure right, it's just like that trickle of water. The effort becomes more natural. You won't be pushing water uphill anymore—each action you take moves you closer to your result. 

So how can you build a creative-life structure rather than a reactive one?

Early Town Center Boardwalk

 

Pay Attention

“For anyone trying to discern what to do with their life: Pay attention to what you pay attention to. That's pretty much all the info you need.”  Amy Krouse Rosenthal

I have a friend who has decided to embrace turning seventy this year. She has created a new Facebook page dedicated to her love of fashion and thrifting. She has lost quite a bit of weight over the last year and, by necessity, needed to invest in a new wardrobe. Being a retired teacher, she knew she had to consider the cost of such an endeavor. 

Rather than look at this as an impossible undertaking, she took the bull by the horns. She has not only created a whole new wardrobe for herself, but is encouraging others to do the same without breaking the bank. More than anything, she is inspiring a generation of women entering a new decade to know that it's not over yet. We are all capable of embracing what we love and are naturally drawn to in this new season of life. 

I loved Amy Rosenthal's words. Rather than looking at the trends to decide what you want to do with your life, look more toward the things that catch your attention. As much as I'd like to up my fashion game, it's truly not what catches my eye. It's kind of ironic that I'm finally at an age where I have some extra money to spend on clothes, but I'm basically clueless about fashion. I plan to use my friend’s Facebook page, Curated by Sharon, as a guide. 

On the other hand, give me a library, a bookstore, an author talk, and I'm in seventh heaven. In paying attention to this, I'm now writing a novel, revising a children's book, have joined two writing groups, and am facilitating a book club. I also read to preschoolers once a month at the library. In addition, I'm still contributing to two blogs I created years ago. 

I want to encourage others to look closely at what captures their attention and challenge themselves to, as my friend says, “curate” a life in keeping with their interests. The Japanese have a philosophy called Ikigai which, in a nutshell, is “a reason to get out of bed in the morning.” They have learned that purpose is not something you outgrow. In fact, finding your purpose at each season of your life will help bring more meaning to your days.

As Annie Dillard reminds us in her book, The Writing Life. “How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.” Her words should encourage us to be more intentional in what we choose to do. Our lives become more meaningful when we focus on creativity and positive daily habits. 

Sadly, Amy Rosenthal’s life was cut short at the age of fifty-one due to ovarian cancer. Remarkably, she wrote and published more than thirty books for both children and adults in just twelve years. If you'd like to learn more about her, check out her TED Talk in February of 2010 titled "7 Notes on Life." 

“If you want to change your life, change what you pay attention to.”

Austin Kleon Keep Going

Lessons From a Redbud Tree

 When we first bought our property several years ago, it was the middle of summer. It wasn't until the next fall that we learned we had a lone Redbud tree, the only one on our side of the county road. We felt quite special. 

Each year, as winter transitions into spring, we keep our eyes open for the first pink blossoms, knowing they will not be here for long. And every year, our tree never disappoints. For a few weeks, I find myself smiling each time I drive by. 

Today, I stopped to take a photo or two and was inspired to write about what this sweet little tree had to offer me in terms of life lessons. 

First- Be on the Lookout. Don’t be in such a hurry that you fail to notice what is right in front of you. Keep an eye out and an open mind as you explore the world around you. 

Second- Stop. I almost didn't, but I'm glad I took the time to get out of the car and snap a few pictures. We have a family memory of visiting Hot Springs, Arkansas, with my dad and stepmother. This was a place they had been many times, and Dad was perfectly content to drive around giving us the tour. After about 30 minutes, Chuck asked if we could stop and get out of the car. It wasn't too long after that that we were dipping our toes into one of the famous hot springs. Sometimes you just gotta stop. 

Third- Look at it from Different Angles. As I started snapping photos with my phone, I began taking them from different angles. Each one brought a new perspective. If I'd only looked at the tree from one direction, I would have missed out. This can be true in life as well. Taking the time to look at others’ beliefs and views can help us to refine our own.

Fourth- Get Up Closer. This is something I always recommend when taking a photo. It’s also something that works in life. Don’t be afraid to step in and take a closer look. The other day, while I was in line at HEB, I had a very interesting conversation with the man behind me who was buying chicken paws. If you don’t know what that is, it’s chicken feet. I told him they resembled my beloved rooster’s feet, and I didn’t think I could eat them. He assured me they were quite tasty and helped his aching back since they contained collagen. Who knew?

Fifth- Step Back. I stepped back and took another photo, which included the county road. Just like stepping back is good advice when coming upon a snake, sometimes it’s good to step away from something for a period of time. Anger can dissipate over time, ideas can incubate a little longer, and decisions can be worked through with time. Stepping back isn’t automatically a bad idea. Keep it in your repertoire.

Sixth- Be Aware of a Fleeting Moment. As I drove by the little tree, I thought about how quickly this moment would pass, and that it wouldn’t be long before tiny green leaves would replace those blossoms. I think about this a lot as my youngest grandson is approaching his next birthday. I’ve been accused of spoiling him by Chuck, but I explain that he will only be four for a short while. I’ve watched as his older brothers have grown and matured. We shouldn’t take anything for granted that it will always remain the same. 

Who knew that such an unassuming little tree could be packed with so much wisdom? As for me, I’ll continue to relish its short time here and look forward to seeing it again next year. Kind of like the hummingbirds that return each spring. 

Xela Bistro

 I had an opportunity to meet with my group of high school friends this month at a really cool restaurant in Duncanville. 

It’s called Xela Bistro, and I highly recommend it. The food was amazing and the decor delightful. 

I had the Green Gobbler wrap, which included turkey, pesto, and a garlic aioli. They also had paninis, pitas, croissants, and salads. Although no one in my group had dessert, I was told it was worth returning to try out their selection. 

What I loved most about the place was the decor. As a book lover, every spot invited me in. 

The restaurant hosts book clubs, bingo, and even has tea parties. There is a separate room available for special events. 

I learned the owner is an aspiring author and has plans to publish in the near future. 

He invited me to share my book at his bistro when the time came. 

This hidden gem makes a trip to Duncanville a must, and I’m looking forward to returning.

 

Eleven Years of Grace Found Daily

“Start before you're ready.” Stephen Pressfield, The War of Art

I started writing my blog eleven years ago in 2015, but I had probably wanted to write it for the five years prior. What held me back? Things like not knowing what to name it or how to set up a blog. 

That and the possible rejection from those who read it. I must say, though, that those of you who have followed along have always been highly supportive, and I have appreciated that tremendously.

I remember only sharing that first post with a small group of friends, but I knew I wanted to expand that circle of readers. I naively thought that somehow, overnight, I would suddenly have hundreds of followers. I thought I’d be rubbing elbows with other bloggers. 

Interestingly, on a smaller scale, some of that happened. I did meet a few other bloggers who did encourage me when I doubted myself. I’ve had a few posts over the years that hundreds of people have read.

I’ve had faithful readers and new readers, but either way, getting to share my thoughts and having the opportunity to write has been priceless. 

I’ve participated in many 31 Day Writing Challenges, and I’ve recorded vacations and grandchildren’s milestones. I’ve contemplated life and encouraged others to take risks and adventures. I’ve shared my struggles to conquer sugar and my many moves over the years. 

What writing my blog has done is give me the confidence to call myself a writer. Over the years, I have posted 1,857 times, not a bad body of work. 

Today I’m expanding my writing wings. I’ve finished a children’s book, and I’m writing a historical fiction novel based on an actual event in Texas. I’ve joined two writing groups, and have learned so much about writing this past year. I’ve attended a writing workshop and connected with local writers. 

My next hurdle will be publishing these two pieces. Just like when I started my blog, I find myself hesitant about what to do next. I am researching my options and have sent the children’s book to one publisher. It looks like I can chalk up my first rejection, but I don’t want that to hold me back. 

My wish for you is to start. Just like Pressfield says, even if you don’t feel ready. I promise you, if you do, you will be surprised by what can be accomplished in a year, let alone eleven. 

So here’s to you, Grace Found Daily, and another year of writing. Thanks for reading along.