Wisdom

Wisdom. 

"Knowledge is flour, but wisdom is bread."

Austin O'Malley

Tolerance

Tolerance. 

"The ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with ."

Wow! This is a hard one for me. It is not in my nature to be tolerant. Oh, I might be nice or come off as respectful, but the whole time I'm probably doing a whole lot of judging. 

The other day as I passed an opposing side of the political aisle on the way to early vote, I found myself wanting to say something negative as I passed by.  My right for free speech seemed perfectly appropriate at the time, except I didn't speak out, and I'm glad I didn't. This man had every right to think differently from me. 

As it turned out he did speak to us, but not about his candidate. He pointed out a proposal at the bottom of the ballot about funding our county hospital. We thanked him, and later realized that it could have easily been overlooked if he had not brought it to our attention. 

Being tolerant is not just keeping your mouth shut or speaking in a respectful manner, it actually has more to do with the thoughts that precede the action. Casting an immediate judgement before getting to know someone, failing to search for understanding, and more than anything thinking you have all the answers doesn't lend itself to a very tolerant world. 

Our country is a big enough place for many views, and lifestyles. Infact, our constitution provides this through its Bill of Rights. Always casting the first stone does not make for a peaceful existence. If someone truly wants to know your opinion, share it respectfully not trying to change theirs. If they want to know more than share more, if not keep walking. 

We all feel comfortable preaching to the choir, and there is nothing wrong with like-minded people sharing their views. Birds of a feather have always flocked together, but we shouldn't limit ourselves to only our point of view. If we truly want to reach across the aisle to extend a hand of friendship we must extend tolerance as well. 

"Love your enemies."

Jesus Christ

Temperance

Temperance.

"Moderation or self-restraint in action, thought or feeling."

Moderation seems to be my middle name. I've never understood extremes. To be honest I'm sometimes envious of the die-hard sports fan fully clad in representative colors, and sporting face paint. Nope, it's just not me. 

My practical nature technically comes across as pretty boring. You don't find me responding over the top about much of anything. I keep most everything in check. 

Except, perhaps in the line at Walmart.  I don't know what it is about that place, but I have lost my cool there way too many times to count over the years. Perhaps, I'm setting myself up for failure by shopping there so much. 

About a year ago I went to pick up a grocery delivery for my daughter, and couldn't believe my eyes as I watched the bin of groceries tumble out all over the parking lot when the attendant hit a bump. 

To make matters worse my groceries co-mingled with another customers, and I had no idea what my daughter had purchased. I kind of figured the large amount of vanilla pudding cups probably weren't hers, though.  I know the employee was mortified, but she blew it off with a  "things happen" attitude.  At that moment she hit a nerve, as my temperance was hanging by a thread. 

I returned to my car to wait for her to figure it out, after letting her know I wasn't pleased. Oh, wait it gets worse. At that moment I was only mildly disturbed. When I returned a few minutes later the man waiting there took it upon himself to step in as rescuer, and let me know that I was out of line for complaining. 

At that moment, not my finest, I basically lost all self-restraint. I'm sure it's on video somewhere, and making its way into the infamous people of Walmart archive. After my rant I was so embarrassed that I avoided the place for several months, and when I did return I crept in wearing a scarf and sunglasses. 

I sure could have used the virtue of temperance that day. 

"Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult."

Samuel Johnson

Simplicity

Simplicity.

"The simplicity of something is the fact that it is not complicated and can be understood or done easily."

I fell in love with the Voluntary Simplicity movement of the 90's. I loved the idea of leading a simpler life, not losing sight of what really mattered. We had just escaped the Yuppie mentality of the 80's where reaching the magic number of $30,000 got you a membership in the American Express Club. 

As I read about those who were exiting the madness of being busy twenty-four seven, and  trying to keep up with the Joneses,  I couldn't help but admire those who embraced this new philosophy. I can't say that my life changed much besides purchasing several really cool books about the movement. Of course, as I reflect back on it I had always chosen a simpler path in my life. 

Perhaps, this was due to not being overly materialistic, and being content with less. It may also stem from giving time a high priority. Even as a teenager, when given the choice between time to do what I enjoyed or working to make extra money for more clothes, time always won out. The siren call of a new outfit never trumped a library book. 

Today I see many people rushing from one activity to the next. There seems to be very little down time just to rest. I've always tried to maintain a type of balance in my life, and it seems to partner well with my personality. I think simplicity as a virtue can be embraced to some degree by all. 

I know that some really thrive on an on-the go type of life, and I've learned that "different strokes for different folks" really is true. However, what I am proposing is inviting a little more simplicity into your life, and see how it influences your perspective. 

"Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated."

Confucius 

Serenity

Serenity. 

"The state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled."

If you are a Type A person by temperment serenity is not a virtue that comes easily to you. Your need to be in control of all situations sets you up for an anxiousness as to what might go wrong. 

I've written about this before when I wrote about awfulizing. This is the tenedency to always look for the worst case scenario. This is done more out of the need for self-protection, not so much out of being a pessimist by nature. 

Serenity for me goes hand in hand with putting my trust in God. Left to my own devices I would spend most of my time worrying. However, by placing my faith in God I have learned, not that things won't go wrong, but that I will be able to make it through any circumstances with His help. 

Time and time again during difficult times people have been placed in my path to help me along the way. I know that this is not pure coincidence. Having others to lean on allows you to live in a more serene way. 

The Serenity Prayer is a good reminder as to who is actually in charge. 

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And the wisdom to know the difference. 

Reinhold Neibuhr

Self-control

Self-Control. 

"The ability to control oneself,  in particular one's impulses and emotions, especially in difficult situations."

I think this may be the hardest virtue of all for most people. Especially since each person has their own vice they find hard to control. 

Put me near the appetizer table at a get together, and you can FORGET ABOUT IT!

My personality is more of an abstainer than a moderator.  As long as I don't get started I'm usually okay. For some, though, moderation is the name of the game. 

Of course, self-control is not just about the food we eat. Sometimes biting our tongue, and not lashing out at others takes every bit of self-control that we can muster. However, strengthening this virtue can make a difference in our relationship with others. 

Learning self-control is a muscle that must be exercised starting in childhood. I always felt bad for children who entered school for the first time having never practiced self-control. I couldn't help but place more blame on some well meaning adults who thought they were doing their child  a favor by never insisting they sit still. 

Another aspect of self-control is curbing impulses. How many of us has been guilty of an impulse buy that they later regretted? Buyers remorse is a real thing, and I've got a set of State Fair waterless cookware to prove that. Children are required to practice self-control each time their parents check out at the grocery store. Heck, even I have to turn a blind eye to the candy bars calling my name. 

"Whatever lies within our power to do lies also within our power not to do."

Aristotle 

The Blanket

The blanket. 

When I first retired one of the things I wanted to learn was how to crochet. My grandmother had tried to teach me years ago, but my lack of patience and fumbling fingers did not make for a good combination. I never learned. 

However, with more time on my hands, and a little more perseverance I decided to give it a try. My daughter had recently gotten engaged, and I had hoped to someday have grandchildren. One of my dreams was to, just like my Grandmother, crotchet a baby blanket for my future grandchild. 

So slowly, and laboriously I began the process of learning how to crochet. Chuck became the recipient of one of the many scarves I crotchet that first winter. He was so gracious to wear it proudly overlooking the many mistakes, and unevenness of the final product. 

When Brittany and Will announced the impending birth of their first child I knew I needed to get started on the blanket. I picked out some ultra soft yarn specifically designed for babies and got to work. I knew I wanted to crotchet a smaller sized blanket that my grandson could use in the car, and could carry around with him. 

To be honest I was really pleased with the end result. It wasn't perfect, but it was definitely made with love. He sleeps with it every night. Now as a you know grandson number two has come along, and my daughter has put in an order for another blanket. 

She found more of the same kind of yarn just in a different color. Now that the weather is starting to get cooler it will be the perfect time to get to crocheting. I've already been warming up with a few practice stitches because I haven't crotcheted since we moved from our old house. 

I'm hoping this little one likes his blanket as much as his brother, and it helps keep him warm this winter. 

Responsibility

Responsibility. 

"The state of being answerable, or accountable for something within one's power, control or management."

Today I'm going to focus more on personal responsibility, remembering that every action we take has a consequence. 

Often we forget that our lack of responsibility most often effects those around us. Many times children pay the price for our selfishness, and poor choices. Responsibility is a virtue that needs to be nurtured from the very beginning. 

Each time we choose to do something we must be willing to stand up, and accept responsibility for what we have done. Our words and actions are judged by others, and cannot be taken back. Only thinking of yourself really cannot be an option, unless you are a castaway on a deserted island. 

It seems today each time you turn on the news you hear someone making an excuse for why things may be going wrong. Dr. Laura likes to point out that, "It happens," is not an excuse for poor behavior. We are better than that, and should be quick to offer an apology for our part in something that has gone south. 

In high school we learned the famous words of President Truman, "The buck stops here." We can't keep passing the buck onto someone else each time we mess up. It is so easy to claim victimhood, and seems to be a popular trend these days. 

No matter what our circumstances the final choice is made by us. Teach your children to be responsible, and their chances for success will be greatly increased. Start with small responsibilities around the home, and learning to be accountable for their actions.

"The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence."

Denis Waitley 

Respect

Respect.

"A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities or achievements." 

It used to be a given that for some respect naturally came along with the office or position. Teachers, police officers, the clergy, and the President were overall treated with respect by most. 

Of course, the old adage about respect being earned was also true. What I see today is very little respect for those who were naturally respected in the past. As a teacher I was very fortunate to be treated respectfully by the parents of my students. However, there were a few incidents where this respect was not extended, and generally their children followed suit. 

I remember once struggling with a former church council member who refused to offer the courtesy of respect to an interim pastor who traveled away from his family each weekend to serve our congregation. Although, the council member might not have agreed with the pastor about everything, his manner and tone were so disrespectful that it made being around him unpleasant. 

Several years ago I found myself really grappling with respecting the office of president. Although, my candidate had not always won in the past, and I was okay with that, I was finding it harder and harder to be respectful toward the highest office in the land. Today I see the same thing happening as we seem to have lost our collective mind when it comes to those who think differently than us. 

Extending not so common courtesy to others is the first step toward showing respect. Learning to chose your words more carefully, or not at all, might help avoid escalating a situation. 

I wish I knew how or why we seem to be where we are in today's culture, but more than anything I wish I knew the answer to how to fix it. I always seem to go back to the Golden Rule of treating others as you would like to be treated. Perhaps we need to be reminded of this more often, and put the virtue of respectfulness into practice. 

"Respect for ourselves guides our morals, respect for others guides our manners. 

Laurence Sterne

Resourcefulness

Resourcefulness.

"The ability to find quick and clever ways to overcome difficulties."

I love this virtue! This may, perhaps, be the most creative virtue of all, and seems to be making a comeback with some. However, for others it may be under appreciated.

It is so easy to just run to the store, and purchase whatever you need at a moment's notice. Even easier, if you are willing to wait a day or two, is to simply press send. Our instant disposable mindset makes being resourceful something we don't always consider. 

On the other hand, finding a way to use what you already have can become a challenge worth embracing. Once Brittany and I decided to make a doctor kit when she was around seven years old. We scavenged the house looking for things we might use. Our greatest accomplishment was a blood pressure cuff made from a turkey thermometer, old phone cord, an empty plastic lemon dispenser, and a scrunchie. It really turned out great, and with a little imagination did the trick. 

I find myself being resourceful when it comes to meal planning. I love to figure out ways to use ingredients I already have on hand to create a delicious meal. I also like to create leftovers into something new and different. Sometimes my resourcefulness comes into play when I have to substitute an ingredient for something I am missing, rather than running to the store.

Upcycling has become quite trendy and Pinterest is a haven for old pieces of furniture finding new purpose. A can of spray paint, and a dollar store find can end up being a real treasure. Before discarding something consider whether the item can be used in a new or different way. 

Just like our parents and grandparents who lived through the depression,  being a good steward of our possessions and money is a virtue that in the long run really pays off. 

It's not the lack of resources that cause failure, it's the lack of resourcefulness that causes failure."

Tony Robbins

Prudence

Prudence. 

"The ability to govern and discipline oneself by the use of reason; skill and good judgement in the use of resources, caution or circumspection as to danger or risk."

Whenever I hear the word prudence I can't help but to think back to an old SNL skit where Dana Carvey, imitating George H.W. Bush, would say, "Wouldn't be prudent." It always got a good laugh, but I'm not sure I could have told you exactly what it meant. 

Today as I think about being prudent I think it has to do with taking the time to investigate the information needed before making a decision. In addition, understanding that actions have consequences will help you to be a more prudent person. 

As I thought about the state of affairs today in things like politics and social media it became apparent that prudence is a lost virtue. Often times the person yelling the loudest has done the least amount of research into what they proclaim to be true. 

We have allowed passion, and anger to get in the way of true judgement. Rather than gathering information from both sides of an issue, we lash out at others who think differently than us, and refuse to listen to the other side. 

Instead of checking sources we deem everything we read on social media to be true. Both sides of the argument have been guilty of selective editing when it comes to getting their point of view across. Numbers can be very misleading just in the way they are presented, and can be manipulated to prove a point. 

Remembering that our actions have consequences should guide us to be more careful in what we say and do. Thinking ahead, and preparing for the future are also other ways of practicing prudence. 

Not just accepting something on face value can protect you from scams, and identity theft. The virtue of prudence requires true critical thinking.  Don't be so quick to act or cast judgement before you've taken the time to check things out. 

"Prudence is foresight and farsightedness. It's the ability to make immediate decisions on the basis of their longer-range effects."

John Ortberg

Politeness

Politeness. 

"Behavior that is respectful and considerate of other people."

Politeness seems to be a virtue that has gone out of style. People today seem to be inclined to say or do whatever they want. Being considerate of someone else's feelings does not seem to be a high priority today. 

Why is this? What happened along the way to take basic civility off the table? Did our generation worry too much about being our children's friends that we failed to teach them how to be polite? Were we too busy rushing them to soccer practice that it just became easier to not insist on please and thank-you?

Of course, this is an exaggeration because I know plenty of young people with wonderful manners. It just seems that more and more when I turn on the news I'm totally shocked at the lack of decorum. 

Manners and politeness may seem to be old fashioned, but I know caring about others is something that never goes out of style. One way to show you care is in the manner in which you interact with others. 

Using what we used to call common courtesy goes a long way in getting along,  and working together to accomplish great things. Encourage the virtue of being polite in every young person you come across. 

"One of the things that hold together a human society is the existence of basic politeness among its members."

Yair Lapid

Perseverance

Perseverance.

"Steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success."

When the hit show Survivor first began years ago the final challenge always was one of perseverance. Which ever contestant could hold on the longest took home the prize. I always kidded Chuck that he was a shoe in if he ever earned a spot on the show. 

To this day I don't think I've ever met a more determined person, and I have admired this quality throughout our marriage. Perseverance is being in the game for the long haul. Even if something is hard or repetitious sticking to the task to completion is what is important. 

I usually try to find things that I am naturally good at so that it doesn't require extreme effort on my part. My inclination to become easily bored doesn't always lend itself to perseverance. Although, the other day I did have to push myself to do so. I was crotcheting a blanket for my youngest grandson, and was not having much luck. 

It has been well over a year since I had crocheted, and I had to relearn the stitches. After my first two attempts it became apparent that after each succeeding row the blanket was becoming smaller and smaller. I ended up ripping it out, and starting over again making sure to count each row. Now it still isn't perfect, but it looks much better. 

Now normally I might just have wanted to throw my hands up in the air, and say, "Forget about it!" However, my love for my grandson, and my desire to make him a blanket like his brother's was what spurred me on. Perseverance is not always the easiest thing, but by completing the task, you can take pride in your desired results. 

As a teacher my students would often complain when a task seemed to require more effort that they were willing to give. This was the perfect opportunity to remind them of the story of The Tortoise and the Hare. Slow and steady wins the race. 

"Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did."

Newt Gingrich

Patience

Patience.

"The capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble or suffering without getting angry or upset."

I suppose in today's world a true test of  patience is your ability to stand in line at your local Walmart without outburst. I've had my fair share of standing in line, and I can't say I've always come out successful.

I've told Chuck over the years that I am not a naturally patient person. Any patience I have acquired is due to the over thirty plus years that I taught elementary school. My patience with people is more difficult for me, where my patience in circumstances does seem to be more my strength, except perhaps for drive-through lanes which I avoid like the plague. 

I do believe, though, that patience is something worth cultivating. It can make you a more pleasant person to be around if you are not so easily frustrated by the slings and arrows of day to day life. 

Becoming more proficient at delayed gratification can help you to stick with, and master your goals. The famous marshmallow test given to young children showed that a child's ability to wait proved to be valuable over the course of their life in the success they achieved. 

Anticipation goes hand in hand with patience as you wait for something. As children, Christmas was highly anticipated as we wrote our letters to Santa counting down the days to his arrival. Because we were not showered with gifts throughout the year we learned to be patient waiting for the big day. 

Today's world does not always require us to be patient. Almost everything is at our fingertips in a moment's notice. Even a slight delay in the speed of our internet service can cause us to lose our cool. With Amazon same day delivery, and streaming movies we rarely have to wait long for anything.  

I can't help but smile when I think about the patience involved in waiting for the birth of a child. The anticipation, and the long months required can't really be rushed, as that baby does seem to have a mind of its own. God has a way of reminding us that he ultimately is in charge, and that patience is truly a virtue. 

"Patience is not simply the ability to wait-it's how we behave while we're waiting."

Joyce Meyer

Orderliness

Orderliness. 

"Arranged or disposed in a neat, tidy manner or in a regular sequence."

As I look at my bedroom dresser I can't say that it is the picture of orderliness, but I do see the value of order in my life. I function better in a less cluttered area, but unlike order guru Marie Kondo I sometimes allow clutter to take hold. 

Why would orderliness be considered a virtue? I know for some creative types order seems to interfere with their creative process. I think this virtue has more to do with temperament. 

There are practical reasons for being orderly. Being able to locate things quickly, paying your bills on time or not having to invest in belated birthday cards are all ways that orderliness can work toward our advantage. 

I know for me it's difficult to function at my best when my surroundings are disorderly. My natural inclination is to start tidying up. However, I think that this is an individual decision as to what works best for you. 

However, if you are determined to embrace a more ordered life there are plenty of resources available to help you achieve this virtue. Sometimes, just starting with a small area can help motivate you to continue on. 

In my kitchen there is a small space next to the refrigerator that holds the accumulation of mail that I don't always want to address at the moment. Although, I've read about only handling your mail once when it arrives, I can't say I've been able to master that level of orderliness. 

However, I do make a point about once a week to go through everything, and whittle the pile down to a more manageable amount. Luckily, since it is kind of out of the way my kitchen still has a nice, orderly look to it. 

This may or may not be a virtue you aspire to have, and so I may just have to acquiesce to the old adage, "Live and let live," when it comes to this one. 

"Order is heaven's first law."

Alexander Pope

Optimism

Optimism.

"Hopefulness and confidence about the future or the successful outcome of something."

Optimism has always been easy for me. I don't know if it's just part of my DNA or if somewhere along the way I figured out that looking at the world as the glass half full was the better way to go. 

It seems that I naturally try to make the best out of situations. I'm always looking for that silver lining, and my sense of humor helps in this endeavor. 

However, to be honest it's difficult for me sometimes to be around negative thinking people. I think more than anything it just starts to become a habit to always look for something wrong. Confirmation bias works both ways. 

You can feel your energy draining as you listen to their complaining. I can't help but wonder if perhaps they feel the same way about me? Glass half empty people probably get tired of the Pollyanna attitude of their counterparts.

So what are we to do if we find that optimism is not in our nature? I guess the first thing is determining whether there is a value to being optimistic. Could being optimistic make you happier? If so then becoming more aware of your reactions might be the way to start.  

Rephrasing your words more positively might not completely change your life, but it could be a good first step. If you notice your children or grandchildren gravitating toward the negative help guide them toward a more positive view of the world. 

"Optimism is the faith that leads you achievement. Nothing can be fine without hope and confidence."

Helen Keller

Integrity

Integrity. 

"The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles."

Children of my generation grew up learning about Honest Abe, and George Washington admitting he could not tell a lie after chopping down the cherry tree. One of our favorite Disney stories was Pinocchio, where the little puppet's nose grew each time he told a lie. 

Sometimes it looks like integrity may have gone out of fashion along with the extra wide bell-bottoms we used to wear. It seems with the twenty-four hour news cycle we are constantly bombarded with a lack of honesty, but unfortunately it appears that very few people seem to care anymore. 

I keep hearing about someone needing to share their truth, and it makes me wonder if there actually is the truth? Today I might sound a little more preachy than usual, but it makes me wonder if the virtue of integrity never actually was or has it just grown passé?

It seems to me that people who live their life with integrity might just avoid some of the pitfalls that dishonesty can bring. The idea of choosing the straight and narrow might be a way to avoid causing pain for yourself and others. 

Teaching our children not to cheat to get ahead, and to live their lives in an honest fashion is always left to the generations before. This might be one of the most important jobs that we are given, and shouldn't be forgotten. 

What are your thoughts about integrity? 

"Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not."

Oprah Winfrey

Individuality

Individuality.

"What makes one person unique from another."

Each one of us comes with our own unique set of gifts, talents and abilities that allows us to contribute toward others. 

Unfortunately, sometimes we lose sight of our own individuality, and try to be more like others. What ever happens to be trendy at the time seems to set the standard for all. 

As children we are often blissfully unaware of our differences. We go about our day living very true to ourselves. I see this in my grandson as each day I'm learning more and more about his unique personality.

In my own life I remember how adolescence seemed to steal away my uniqueness as I desperately tried to fit in. I found myself constantly comparing myself to others to judge where I fit.  Being like "everyone" else seemed to bring me a sense of security. 

What I've enjoyed about being older, though, is an appreciation of being an individual. I find myself dressing the way I like, doing the things that I find interesting, and expressing myself in my own unique way. 

I don't try to be like everyone else, and I no longer make excuses to myself for being different. I value individuality more in others, and am inspired by those who are true to themselves. 

In pursuing this virtue we need to once again draw our attention to young children who seem to possess a freedom to just be themselves. They can certainly teach us a thing or two as we remember back to our own childhoods. 

"No one should part with their individuality and become that of another."

William Ellery Channing

Humor

Humor

"The quality of being amusing or comic."

I've always enjoyed being around people with a good sense of humor. Some of my favorite memories are times that involved laughter. My college roommate and I still laugh today about some of the silly things we did back in those days. 

Allowing ourselves to lighten up a little, and not taking everything so seriously is a good thing. Humor is like the silver lining in the cloud. When you can look for the humor in a situation often times it can serve as a bridge between two sides. 

I remember once in sixth grade being completely smitten with the funniest boy in my class. He always had a way of making me laugh at the most inappropriate times, much to the dismay of my teacher. 

Around twenty years later I met another guy with a great sense of humor who luckily asked me to marry him. We've been laughing together ever since, and I look forward to many more adventures. 

One of my favorite aspects of teaching was all the opportunities for laughter. When you are not around children you might find yourself laughing less and less. Now that I have two grandsons I'm laughing again, and look forward to spending more time with them. 

Funny movies are a great way to just relax, and forget your cares. One of my favorites is the romantic comedy, The Propsal. If you've not seen it get ready to laugh. I once read about a man who watched hour after hour of funny movies as part of his recooperation from a serious illness. Apparently it worked due to the natural releasing of endorphins that laughter brings. 

 With some of the virtues demanding more discipline, adding humor to your life is actually something you will enjoy doing. 

"Laughter is the best medicine."

Humility

Humility. 

"A modest or low view of one's importance; humbleness."

I remember the day I was walking the long walk from my classroom to the front office. As was my habit, I'm sure I was walking at a breakneck pace to get done whatever I needed to do, after all I was pretty important. 

I had gained a reputation in the community as a top-notch teacher. I was a team leader, and had presented to both teachers and parents. I always seemed to have something to say about everything, because I "knew" so much. 

I'm not sure what made me stop dead in my tracks, but I remember thinking, "Wait, it's not being important that matters, but rather doing something of importance that is the greater good." In other words take the emphasis off yourself, and put it on others. 

I wish I could say that this came naturally for me. I liked feeling important because I placed so much emphasis on what others thought of me, and compared myself often to others to see if I measured up. 

I remember working really hard to have a whole list of school activities next to my senior picture in my yearbook so I could look important. Ironically, that year the list was moved to the back of the book. I'm sure very few people went back to check, and to be honest I was disappointed.

When I think about being humble I can't help but be reminded of my grandson's favorite movie, Charlotte's Web, where Wilber's bacon is literally saved by the word humble. Giving others credit where credit is due, and not always seeking center stage is showing humility. Maybe we should follows Charlotte's lead by allowing someone else an opportunity to shine, and doing so graciously.

"Humility is not thinking less of yourself it's thinking of yourself less."

Rick Warren 

Gratitude

Gratitude.

"The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness."

I think gratitude might be one of the easiest virtues of all if we just would remember to do it. 

It's so easy to take for granted all the many blessings in our lives. Few of us have experienced true poverty, and our comfortable life may get in the way of gratitude.

Sometimes we find ourselves comparing what we have with others, and feeling like we don't have enough. Sometimes when the newness wears off we just go about our daily life forgetting how fortunate we really are. 

Maybe keeping a gratitude journal or a blessings jar could be a tangible way to embrace gratitude. With our young children we could make a construction paper chain adding to it each day something we are grateful for. 

In our prayer life offering up praise and thanksgiving helps us to take the focus off everything we don't have. I wish I could say that I am stellar in my gratitude, but I am committed to keeping this virtue front and center. 

A good place to start with gratitude is looking for all the small, unassuming ways that we are blessed. 

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more..."

Melody Beattie

Generosity

Generosity.

"The quality of being kind and generous."

When I think of this virtue my best friend Kim comes to mind. She has displayed these qualities as long as I have known her, and we met back in high school when we were just fifteen years old. 

Not only is Kim generous with her gift giving, more importantly she is generous with her time. After my mother unexpectedly passed away my first year to teach, Kim was there to offer her listening ear, and support to me during the hardest time of my life. I don't know how I would have made it through without her.

Teaching our children to be kind, and to reach out to others is something that can be "caught more than taught." As our children view our actions, and how we interact with others they are learning this valuable trait. 

I wish I could say that generosity is something that always comes easily to me. I have to remind myself sometimes to think about others, and not to focus too much on just myself. 

Sometimes being generous can feel like a sacrifice, but ironically the pay off in the end usually outweighs any inconvenience we might have allowed to get in the way. Watching children being generous is one of the sweetest things ever, and definitely should be encouraged in their young lives. 

One way to do this is to teach children to put a portion of their money into some kind of charitable giving. Teaching them to share their blessings with the less fortunate makes for a "cheerful giver."

"In a time of domestic crisis men of goodwill and generosity should be able to unite regardless of party or politics."

John F. Kennedy