Beth Kempton, author of Wabi Sabi, gives us three questions to ask to help reframe a contentious situation.
Before jumping to react, take a breath and think about the following:
“How do I really feel?” This is the moment to look deeper into what might be guiding your feelings.
“What’s going on, and why is the person in front of me saying what they are saying?” This is where we should, as St. Frances says, “Seek to understand.” You might not agree in the end, but you can try to understand another’s perspective.
“What do I want to say and why do I feel the need to say it?” This is such an important one to me. For some reason I feel compelled to let others know what I think, even if they could care less.
Maybe, it’s a way of validating myself as a competent person. However, I have ended some relationships due to this. In the long run I’m not sure stating my mind at the time was the best course of action.
That being said, sometimes you just need to stand up for yourself.
Kempton questions whether we are truly seeking resolution, or is our ego getting in the way. I can’t help but wonder if mine is more ego driven?
Even in our relationships we can utilize a Wabi Sabi worldview. We can see the world through a new and better lense.
“No one is perfect. Our connections deepen when we honor one another’s imperfections.”
No comments:
Post a Comment