The Japanese tea ceremony combines the four principles of Harmony, Respect, Purity, and Tranquility.
Kempton reminds us that these principles can guide us in our relationships with others. When we accept that no one, including ourselves are perfect we can reframe how we see others.
“What difference would it make if you saw others with your heart instead of seeing and judging with your eyes and mind?”
What would happen if you approached others with acceptance, and did not spend time trying to change them? If you don’t find that person to be your cup of tea you could use that information to make decisions about what to do next.
Kempton quotes Ai Matsuyama , “I always try to find at least one good thing in everyone, even people I don’t like.”
Because of confirmation bias we have a tendency to look for evidence to prove our conclusions. Because of this we can let our assumptions get in the way of what might not actually be a fair assessment of someone.
If we can be aware of this it might just make a difference in how we handle others. Of course, we still need to be aware of boundaries that may need to be set. Allowing others to mistreat you is not acceptable.
However, there is nothing wrong with looking for the good in people, even if you do not see eye to eye.
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