Generosity

Generosity.

"The quality of being kind and generous."

When I think of this virtue my best friend Kim comes to mind. She has displayed these qualities as long as I have known her, and we met back in high school when we were just fifteen years old. 

Not only is Kim generous with her gift giving, more importantly she is generous with her time. After my mother unexpectedly passed away my first year to teach, Kim was there to offer her listening ear, and support to me during the hardest time of my life. I don't know how I would have made it through without her.

Teaching our children to be kind, and to reach out to others is something that can be "caught more than taught." As our children view our actions, and how we interact with others they are learning this valuable trait. 

I wish I could say that generosity is something that always comes easily to me. I have to remind myself sometimes to think about others, and not to focus too much on just myself. 

Sometimes being generous can feel like a sacrifice, but ironically the pay off in the end usually outweighs any inconvenience we might have allowed to get in the way. Watching children being generous is one of the sweetest things ever, and definitely should be encouraged in their young lives. 

One way to do this is to teach children to put a portion of their money into some kind of charitable giving. Teaching them to share their blessings with the less fortunate makes for a "cheerful giver."

"In a time of domestic crisis men of goodwill and generosity should be able to unite regardless of party or politics."

John F. Kennedy

Frugality

Frugality. 

"The quality of being economical with money; thriftiness."

Frugality is a virtue that not only helps you in the now, but also in the future. Learning to live below your means, and to save is an important lesson to teach our children. 

The most important aspect to me about frugality is that it teaches you contentment. You are not on a constant quest to gain the next new thing. You learn to live with enough, and you learn to value the simple things of life. 

If you are struggling to get a hold of your finances, I highly recommend checking out Dave Ramsey. With his help you can get out of debt, and begin to grow your wealth. 

For me having the safety net of extra finances also allows me not to have to worry constantly about the next thing that will break. It's not a matter of if, but when in the world of appliances. 

My mother taught me early on not to buy cheaply made goods, but rather to look for sales, and deals. I actually get a kick out of spending my money wisely, and have passed this down to my daughter. To be honest, her natural mathematic abilities makes her even better at this than me. 

Along with looking for good prices another aspect of frugality is using what you already have. Don't be so quick to rush out to buy something new when you might already have something that will work. 

I like to make a big batch of chili, and serve it three ways. First, the chili with crackers, then on a baked sweet potato, and finally over rice. No need to be wasteful with your food when only a little creativity is needed. 

Dave always talks about financial freedom, and he is correct, but it does take other virtues like fortitude to get there. But just like the tortoise plodding along and winning the race, you too can come out ahead by embracing frugality.

"A penny saved is a penny earned."

Benjamin Franklin

Hospitality

Hospitality.

"The friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors or strangers."

When I think of hospitality, I always think of my mother. She truly was "the hostess with the mostess." She just had a way of making you feel welcome in her home, and her attention to detail always made people feel special. To this day people speak highly of her warm spirit. 

Sometimes we think that offering hospitality means that we have to go over the top in our preparation. Because so much work is required in getting the house ready, and preparing a large meal we might be tempted not to bother. 

I remember once years ago when Chuck's aunt and uncle stopped by to drop off a hand stitched Christmas stocking for Brittany. It was a spur of the moment visit, and I really had little time to prepare. Luckily, because it was the Christmas season I already had some goodies to serve, and we went on to have a wonderful visit without much fuss. 

Hospitality is more about the heart, than the serving pieces. Chuck and I are friends with a couple who live in a beautiful home. They are the epitome of hospitality as they open their home to many groups of people. We have had the pleasure of being included several times, and they are always so warm and gracious. 

Most of my entertaining has revolved around the holidays and has included mostly family.  When considering hospitality as a virtue it makes me realize that this is an area where I have been lacking. Reaching out to others through hospitality is a great way to serve. 

"Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing so some people have entertained angels without knowing it."

Hebrews 13:2

Flexibility

Flexibility.

"Willingness to change or compromise."

Flexibility is something that doesn't come easily to me. 

However, our willingness to be flexible can serve us well in the long run. Being open to new ways of doing things is not necessarily a bad thing. 

For me my reluctance to embrace flexibility happened during the last years of teaching. As you can imagine teachers must be well prepared each day in order to accomplish all the demands that are required. 

I would put many hours into lesson plans, and would try to incorporate activities that I knew my students would enjoy. During the latter years of my career it seemed that we were constantly bombarded with distractions and interruptions. 

Now of course this is a total exaggeration on my part, and most of these interruptions were actually beneficial to the students. However, it felt that way to me, and my need to remain rigid and set in my ways only contributed to my annoyance. 

What I had to learn was to be more flexible, and not over react each time there was a change of plans. By learning to accept these hiccups along the way I was able to enhance my flexibility.

In the long run I learned what was really important, and what was not. Flexibility is a virtue you might consider. You might be surprised at how allowing yourself to be a little more chill can enhance the quality of your life. 

"The boldness of asking deep questions may require unforeseen flexibility if we are to accept the answers."

Brian Greene

Earnestness

Earnestness. 

"Serious in intention, purpose or effort."

I had the privledge of working for an amazing principal who encouraged her students and staff to be earnest in all that they did. She would say, "If your teacher asks you to write one sentence then write two." Always go above and beyond in all you do. 

Her work ethic inspired me to take on new, and challenging endeavors, and I felt blessed that my daughter experienced her leadership as well. Our school quickly earned the reputation in the community for excellence. 

It seems today that often times the difference between average and excellent is just a small amount. However, I feel that teaching our children to find the balance between striving to be better, and accepting our shortcomings is crucial. 

There is nothing like the pride that comes from a job well done. I love the way my daughter and son-in-law are teaching our grandsons this valuable lesson. I've written many times about the developing work ethic, and growing independence of the oldest. I'm proud of both him and his parents. 

I like the words of Aristotle when he reminds us that, "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence is not an act, but a habit."

Earnestness seems to be a forgotten virtue in a world of instant gratification and quick fixes. Taking the time to go that extra mile can make a difference in the long run. 

"Whatever I have tried to do in life, I have tried with all my heart to do it well;...in great aims and in small I have always thoroughly been in earnest."

Charles Dickens

Discernment

Discernment.

"The ability to judge people and things well."

Sometimes we make our decisions too quickly without taking the time to gather enough information. Often we judge a book by its cover, and allow a first impression to be all that is considered. 

Discernment is something I think comes more with age and experience. It's as if we have to live enough life, and make enough mistakes to somehow gain discernment. 

I can't help but remember the time early in my marriage when Chuck convinced me that we needed to trade in my brand new Honda Accord for a fiery, red Fiero. I remember standing in the shower the whole time feeling extremely uncomfortable about the decision. It was as if my stomach knew something that I did not. 

Now remarkably we actually made money on the Accord, but as cool as the Fiero seemed to be I really did miss my little hatchback. It wasn't long after that I was pregnant, and having to maneuver my way into the very low to the ground seat each day. After Brittany was born that sports car had to be replaced by a sensible sedan as it only had room for two. 

To this day Chuck and I have learned to listen to that still, small voice inside when we make decisions. Most of the time it serves us well. 

One way to help children, and adults as well to be discerning is to teach them to ask for counsel from someone they can trust who has had prior experience. Another way to discern whether something is a wise move is to prototype it. 

This can actually be done just by following through with the next logical conclusion, or it can be tried on a much smaller scale. Rather then investing in that expensive RV why not try it out first by renting one to take on vacation?  Actions like these might help to make more informed decisions. 

Model for your children the thinking involved in using discernment when they are faced with a dilemma. I can't help but laugh when I remember Brittany telling me at age six she needed to talk to Dr. Laura. Luckily we were able to figure out her problem together. 

"We need discernment in what we see and what we hear and what we believe."

Charles R. Swindoll

Constancy

Constancy.

"Steadfastness; a state of being constant."

This is a tough one, especially today. It is so easy to waver. 

I can't help, but be reminded of the Greatest Generation who lived through the Depression and World War II. This was a time of great sacrifice and required quite a bit of steadfastness. The other day Chuck came across an old ration book in some of his mother's things. It's hard to imagine a time when things were not available at the snap of our fingers. 

I've always felt quite blessed to have been raised by parents of this generation. I attribute much of my own success to the example taught by my parents. Things like punctuality, politeness, a job well done, and delayed gratification are all lessons learned from my youth. 

Being consistent in your words and actions is not always easy, but I have found my ability to stick with a task to be a strength. Giving up too soon might just be a matter of the next attempt. One of my biggest regrets in life was doing so. I always wished I had seen my endeavor through to the end even though it was unpleasant.

I can say my giving up did teach me a lesson, though, for the future. I remember one particularly challenging school year where walking away would have been the easier thing, but not the smartest thing. Each morning I approached my day with a smile, even though, it may have only lasted a few minutes. Somehow I made my way through the year, and it was behind me. 

My constancy has also been a guiding force in writing this blog. As I look back over at my body of work over the last three and a half years I'm quite proud that I did not give up too soon. 

Teach children to keep on trying. The other day my oldest grandson was trying to pedal his tricycle when he told me it was hard. I assured him that when something was hard you just had to try harder. It wasn't long before he had it down with a little help from me. 

Constancy might seem a little boring at times, as variety does seem to call it's siren song, but don't discount it as having value in your life. 

"The secret of success is constancy to purpose."

Benjamin Disraeli