Orderliness

Orderliness. 

"Arranged or disposed in a neat, tidy manner or in a regular sequence."

As I look at my bedroom dresser I can't say that it is the picture of orderliness, but I do see the value of order in my life. I function better in a less cluttered area, but unlike order guru Marie Kondo I sometimes allow clutter to take hold. 

Why would orderliness be considered a virtue? I know for some creative types order seems to interfere with their creative process. I think this virtue has more to do with temperament. 

There are practical reasons for being orderly. Being able to locate things quickly, paying your bills on time or not having to invest in belated birthday cards are all ways that orderliness can work toward our advantage. 

I know for me it's difficult to function at my best when my surroundings are disorderly. My natural inclination is to start tidying up. However, I think that this is an individual decision as to what works best for you. 

However, if you are determined to embrace a more ordered life there are plenty of resources available to help you achieve this virtue. Sometimes, just starting with a small area can help motivate you to continue on. 

In my kitchen there is a small space next to the refrigerator that holds the accumulation of mail that I don't always want to address at the moment. Although, I've read about only handling your mail once when it arrives, I can't say I've been able to master that level of orderliness. 

However, I do make a point about once a week to go through everything, and whittle the pile down to a more manageable amount. Luckily, since it is kind of out of the way my kitchen still has a nice, orderly look to it. 

This may or may not be a virtue you aspire to have, and so I may just have to acquiesce to the old adage, "Live and let live," when it comes to this one. 

"Order is heaven's first law."

Alexander Pope

Optimism

Optimism.

"Hopefulness and confidence about the future or the successful outcome of something."

Optimism has always been easy for me. I don't know if it's just part of my DNA or if somewhere along the way I figured out that looking at the world as the glass half full was the better way to go. 

It seems that I naturally try to make the best out of situations. I'm always looking for that silver lining, and my sense of humor helps in this endeavor. 

However, to be honest it's difficult for me sometimes to be around negative thinking people. I think more than anything it just starts to become a habit to always look for something wrong. Confirmation bias works both ways. 

You can feel your energy draining as you listen to their complaining. I can't help but wonder if perhaps they feel the same way about me? Glass half empty people probably get tired of the Pollyanna attitude of their counterparts.

So what are we to do if we find that optimism is not in our nature? I guess the first thing is determining whether there is a value to being optimistic. Could being optimistic make you happier? If so then becoming more aware of your reactions might be the way to start.  

Rephrasing your words more positively might not completely change your life, but it could be a good first step. If you notice your children or grandchildren gravitating toward the negative help guide them toward a more positive view of the world. 

"Optimism is the faith that leads you achievement. Nothing can be fine without hope and confidence."

Helen Keller

Integrity

Integrity. 

"The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles."

Children of my generation grew up learning about Honest Abe, and George Washington admitting he could not tell a lie after chopping down the cherry tree. One of our favorite Disney stories was Pinocchio, where the little puppet's nose grew each time he told a lie. 

Sometimes it looks like integrity may have gone out of fashion along with the extra wide bell-bottoms we used to wear. It seems with the twenty-four hour news cycle we are constantly bombarded with a lack of honesty, but unfortunately it appears that very few people seem to care anymore. 

I keep hearing about someone needing to share their truth, and it makes me wonder if there actually is the truth? Today I might sound a little more preachy than usual, but it makes me wonder if the virtue of integrity never actually was or has it just grown passé?

It seems to me that people who live their life with integrity might just avoid some of the pitfalls that dishonesty can bring. The idea of choosing the straight and narrow might be a way to avoid causing pain for yourself and others. 

Teaching our children not to cheat to get ahead, and to live their lives in an honest fashion is always left to the generations before. This might be one of the most important jobs that we are given, and shouldn't be forgotten. 

What are your thoughts about integrity? 

"Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not."

Oprah Winfrey

Individuality

Individuality.

"What makes one person unique from another."

Each one of us comes with our own unique set of gifts, talents and abilities that allows us to contribute toward others. 

Unfortunately, sometimes we lose sight of our own individuality, and try to be more like others. What ever happens to be trendy at the time seems to set the standard for all. 

As children we are often blissfully unaware of our differences. We go about our day living very true to ourselves. I see this in my grandson as each day I'm learning more and more about his unique personality.

In my own life I remember how adolescence seemed to steal away my uniqueness as I desperately tried to fit in. I found myself constantly comparing myself to others to judge where I fit.  Being like "everyone" else seemed to bring me a sense of security. 

What I've enjoyed about being older, though, is an appreciation of being an individual. I find myself dressing the way I like, doing the things that I find interesting, and expressing myself in my own unique way. 

I don't try to be like everyone else, and I no longer make excuses to myself for being different. I value individuality more in others, and am inspired by those who are true to themselves. 

In pursuing this virtue we need to once again draw our attention to young children who seem to possess a freedom to just be themselves. They can certainly teach us a thing or two as we remember back to our own childhoods. 

"No one should part with their individuality and become that of another."

William Ellery Channing

Humor

Humor

"The quality of being amusing or comic."

I've always enjoyed being around people with a good sense of humor. Some of my favorite memories are times that involved laughter. My college roommate and I still laugh today about some of the silly things we did back in those days. 

Allowing ourselves to lighten up a little, and not taking everything so seriously is a good thing. Humor is like the silver lining in the cloud. When you can look for the humor in a situation often times it can serve as a bridge between two sides. 

I remember once in sixth grade being completely smitten with the funniest boy in my class. He always had a way of making me laugh at the most inappropriate times, much to the dismay of my teacher. 

Around twenty years later I met another guy with a great sense of humor who luckily asked me to marry him. We've been laughing together ever since, and I look forward to many more adventures. 

One of my favorite aspects of teaching was all the opportunities for laughter. When you are not around children you might find yourself laughing less and less. Now that I have two grandsons I'm laughing again, and look forward to spending more time with them. 

Funny movies are a great way to just relax, and forget your cares. One of my favorites is the romantic comedy, The Propsal. If you've not seen it get ready to laugh. I once read about a man who watched hour after hour of funny movies as part of his recooperation from a serious illness. Apparently it worked due to the natural releasing of endorphins that laughter brings. 

 With some of the virtues demanding more discipline, adding humor to your life is actually something you will enjoy doing. 

"Laughter is the best medicine."

Humility

Humility. 

"A modest or low view of one's importance; humbleness."

I remember the day I was walking the long walk from my classroom to the front office. As was my habit, I'm sure I was walking at a breakneck pace to get done whatever I needed to do, after all I was pretty important. 

I had gained a reputation in the community as a top-notch teacher. I was a team leader, and had presented to both teachers and parents. I always seemed to have something to say about everything, because I "knew" so much. 

I'm not sure what made me stop dead in my tracks, but I remember thinking, "Wait, it's not being important that matters, but rather doing something of importance that is the greater good." In other words take the emphasis off yourself, and put it on others. 

I wish I could say that this came naturally for me. I liked feeling important because I placed so much emphasis on what others thought of me, and compared myself often to others to see if I measured up. 

I remember working really hard to have a whole list of school activities next to my senior picture in my yearbook so I could look important. Ironically, that year the list was moved to the back of the book. I'm sure very few people went back to check, and to be honest I was disappointed.

When I think about being humble I can't help but be reminded of my grandson's favorite movie, Charlotte's Web, where Wilber's bacon is literally saved by the word humble. Giving others credit where credit is due, and not always seeking center stage is showing humility. Maybe we should follows Charlotte's lead by allowing someone else an opportunity to shine, and doing so graciously.

"Humility is not thinking less of yourself it's thinking of yourself less."

Rick Warren 

Gratitude

Gratitude.

"The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness."

I think gratitude might be one of the easiest virtues of all if we just would remember to do it. 

It's so easy to take for granted all the many blessings in our lives. Few of us have experienced true poverty, and our comfortable life may get in the way of gratitude.

Sometimes we find ourselves comparing what we have with others, and feeling like we don't have enough. Sometimes when the newness wears off we just go about our daily life forgetting how fortunate we really are. 

Maybe keeping a gratitude journal or a blessings jar could be a tangible way to embrace gratitude. With our young children we could make a construction paper chain adding to it each day something we are grateful for. 

In our prayer life offering up praise and thanksgiving helps us to take the focus off everything we don't have. I wish I could say that I am stellar in my gratitude, but I am committed to keeping this virtue front and center. 

A good place to start with gratitude is looking for all the small, unassuming ways that we are blessed. 

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more..."

Melody Beattie