Wabi Sabi- Day 17

 “Hope is not the same as expectations.” Kempton guides us to the understanding that although, you can plan for a specific future, you cannot actually control what the future may bring. 

I remember in my twenties having a very certain plan for my life. As the years went by I seemed to have very little control over the outcome of that plan. I wasted a lot of valuable time not truly living in the present moment waiting for that plan to arrive. 

As often is the case my plan did come to fruition, except it was on God’s timeline and not on my own. Kempton encourages us to, “Release your attachment to the timeline and then come back to being present in your life right now.” 

She offers a challenge to look for the things in your life to be grateful for right now, and to let go of any expectations of the future that might be keeping you stuck in negative thought patterns.  

“Open your mind and heart to whatever might unfold.” By remaining open to the possible we can receive the miracles that are all around us. 

Wabi Sabi- Day 16

 

In her book Wabi Sabi, Beth Kempton tells the story of a  ninety-four year old woman named Mineyo Kanie. 

Kanie shares the secret to a happy life:

“The root of all unhappiness is not being content with what you have and spending too much time looking outside your life instead of spending time inside it.”

I especially rember when I was younger always looking toward some future event or purchase as a route to happiness. As I’ve gotten older there really are very few material pleasures or experiences that I think I must have in order to be content. 

I take comfort in enjoying the simplest of what life has to offer, and find that it brings me both contentment and happiness. 

It’s not perfect, but it is enough. 

Wabi Sabi- Day 15

Beth Kempton reminds us that, “Discomfort is growth.” Unfortunately, it seems that in our modern day culture we are trained to seek comfort. We go out of our way not to be uncomfortable. Think about the opportunities for growth that are missed in doing so. 

Wabi Sabi helps to teach perspective as to what is really important. Should we be spending our valuable time and resources on things that don’t actually nourish us? Or should we be letting go of limiting beliefs, and things that in the long run don’t really matter. 

Are we making mountains out of molehills?

Kempton says, “To be alive is to evolve. “ We need to understand that there are times when we need to surrender to a difficulty knowing that it will not last forever. This does not mean giving up completely.  Rather, it has to do with putting our energies into actions that will move us forward. 

Wallowing in our misfortune can result in just spinning our wheels. Life is hard sometimes, but learn from those hard times, and move forward. 

Wabi Sabi- Day 14

 As much as we strive for perfection, we aren’t actually supposed to be without imperfections. 

“What if we were to agree that our ideal state is actually perfect imperfection…” The Japanese have a practice called kintsugi, where they embellish the cracks found in pottery with gold. The result is an even more beautiful creation. 

Rather than throwing  something away because of its flaws they make it even more valuable. How much time do we waste worrying about an imperfection in our physical appearance? There is nothing wrong with wanting to look your best, but worrying about things you have no real control over is a waste of time. 

Whatever your “natural most authentic state” is how you should approach the world. This version of you allows for your inner beauty to shine. This is the state that you should aspire for. 

Wabi Sabi- Day 13

 Remember we are all works in progress. Instead of wasting energy striving for perfection, take that energy and use it to live fully in the now. 

Kempton states, “Revealing our vulnerabilities opens a window into our hearts where people can see who we really are and they are drawn to connect.”

We all have common experiences that we can share with others. Whether we laugh or cry we realize that we are connected at the human level. Through sharing our struggles we can learn from each other. 

Perhaps this is why social media influencers are so popular today. When we relate to someone else it helps us not feel so isolated or alone. “Of course you feel that way!” becomes a reassuring mantra that we share with others. 

We realize that no one has all the answers, and that we are all imperfect in our own ways. “…the sooner we realize this the sooner we can start honoring ourselves and one another for the imperfect treasures that we are…”

Wabi Sabi- Day 12

 

Have you ever wondered how you might use perfectionism as an excuse not to embrace life. Have you been guilty of making “the perfect the enemy of the good?”

Wabi Sabi uses the lessons of nature to help us better understand imperfection. Kempton reminds us, “If everything is always changing, nothing can ever be absolutely complete.” 

Nothing will ever be perfect because perfection demands completeness. We have a tendency to hang on to our failings, our imperfections, hoping that somehow we can aspire to be more perfect. This state has become our ideal. 

We must let go of this unavailable expectation of perfection. We have to stop looking at perfection and imperfection as opposite sides of a coin. Rather accept the inevitability of our imperfections as, “Imperfection is a snapshot of our journeys of growth and living at a particular moment in time.” 

We need to become comfortable with not knowing all the answers. We have to be okay with  realizing that we can’t be all things to all people. Of course, this doesn’t mean we have no goals or ambitions. It has more to do with gaining clarity about what is really important to us, and choosing to put our efforts into those areas regardless of other’s opinions. 

Wabi Sabi- Day 11

 As Wabi Sabi teaches us about the impermanence of life it also reminds us that suffering is included in these imperfections. This is something we don’t like to hear. As much as we may try to avoid or resist suffering there are times when doing so can actually make things worse. 

“Acceptance is about surrendering to the truth of what is happening and then playing an active role in deciding what happens next.”

Sometimes you have to allow yourself time to rest and recover. When I badly sprained my ankle a few years ago I had to accept the fact that it would take months to fully recover. Initially I gave myself time to stay off my ankle before slowly attempting to walk again. 

I remember pushing the cart at the grocery store recalling how easily it was to walk before my accident. Part of the suffering included the pain associated with the injury, but also the restrictions it imposed on my independence. 

I learned to ask for help when needed, and kept a mindset to continue on a little more each day. It also taught me to appreciate the things we often take for granted knowing how quickly they can change. 

Wabi Sabi- Day 10

 If you are feeling overwhelmed the wisdom of Wabi Sabi can give you a fresh perspective.  Begin by accepting your feelings realizing that, “Whatever is possible in the present is limited.” In this moment you can only do so much. 

By accepting this it doesn’t mean that you have given up on the possibilities of the future. Rather, it’s an understanding of your own capacities at the moment. As much as I might want something to be a certain way, either from myself or others, I have to tune into the realities of the situation. Expecting something impossible is counterproductive.

You must allow yourself grace, and give yourself a break when it is needed. Recently, I purchased a little sign that says, “Be kind to yourself.” It reminds me not to be so hard on myself when it comes to the imperfections of human nature.

Rather, look for the joy in the moment. As I write this I’m sitting outside soaking up the sunshine and the cooler temperatures. In the distance I here the sounds of cows, the wind chimes, and the whir of our ornamental windmill.  The feeling of peacefulness, contentment, and dare I say joy surrounds me. 

Kempton concludes, “Rich is the person who is content with what they have…” In other words, the idea of already having everything you need. The wisdom found here is appreciating what we have as a key to contentment. The apostle Paul reminds us that he found contentment in all circumstances.

This may sound easier said than done, but except in the most extreme of circumstances this attitude can be well within our grasp. 

Again according to Kempton, “We just have to accept it, trust it, and embrace it.”

Wabi Sabi- Day 9

Accepting the present is an important premise of Wabi Sabi. Kempton states, “Acceptance is alignment with the truth of the present moment in this present moment, with what is true about your life.”

The lesson being that we cannot control or hold tightly to the status quo. It will always change and will not remain static. We need to enjoy the good in each season of our life, knowing that the hard times will eventually pass. 

As I sit here writing this post I’m enjoying a cool breeze compliments of Mother Nature, and the early September days. While often times in Texas summer extends well into October, we have been given a reprieve this year with an unseasonably cool summer. 

I know, personally that I have no control over any of this, except for my acceptance and choices to spend as much time outdoors as possible. The fresh air, the smell of newly cut grass, and the buzz of the hummingbirds all make for a delightful day. 

I also can’t help, but think about the use of the word alignment. How many people make a regularly scheduled trip to their chiropractor to align their physical body?

Taking the time to align your thoughts with the truth of the changing nature of our world  can certainly result in a more contented life. 

Wabi Sabi encourages us to anchor ourselves in the now whenever stress seems to be taking its toll. Don’t ignore your emotions, and how you are feeling. Rather accept them with the mantra, “Of course, you feel this way.” Allow these emotions to wash away like the ebb and flow of the ocean’s waves. 

Kempton reminds us, “Know that this is just a moment, and soon it will give away to another.”

Wabi Sabi- Day 8

 When it comes to change in the philosophy of Wabi Sabi, there are two ways you can look at it. 

There are those who cling tightly to the status quo fearful of changing anything even when they are not content. Second there are those who use change as a way of escaping a difficult situation. 

I remember changing grade levels as a teacher always looking for something better, when in reality I really wanted to change careers. Although, there was satisfaction in teaching I always felt it was not actually my calling. Sadly, fear always held me back, and making those “safe” grade level changes helped me make it to the end of a thirty- one years of teaching. 

Kempton points out in her book, “Stability can make us feel safe, but it is built on the misguided assumption that things won’t change, because everything does.”

Accepting things as they are might not actually be beneficial. Time, your most valuable resource, will continue to tick  away whether you choose to do something or nothing at all.

Wabi Sabi teaches us the lesson of accepting and letting go of the past, and embracing the present. 

“Your life is happening right here, and every day is the beginning of the rest of it.”

Don’t make the mistake of beating yourself up for the choices you have already made in the past. At the time you made those choices you could only base them on limited life experiences. Hindsight really is twenty-twenty. Use the knowledge and wisdom you have gained over the years to propel yourself forward, and stop looking at change in a negative light. 

Wabi Sabi- Day 7

 Shinrin-yoku, or forest bathing is a Japanese tradition of spending time in nature, particularly in the forest. 

It has been found that spending time among trees can have a calming effect upon the body. There even is the school of thought that forest bathing can be used as a preventative to disease. These interactions help to boost the immune system. ( The technical term has to do with the increase in NK cells or natural killer cells that help fight viruses and cancer.)

What I do know for sure is that when I am spending time surrounded by nature, particularly trees I do feel better; more grounded and at peace. 

Perhaps it is the impermanence of nature, the visible changing of the seasons that allows us to let go of perfection.  Recently we had a hundred year old oak tree on our property implode on itself. The inner core of the tree had been infested by insects, and had rotted away. 

To the unassuming eye everything looked basically just fine, until one day it fell to the ground with a loud thud. It has made me more in tune to the other two oaks that rest upon our property, and remind me not to take their presence for granted. 

          Kempton reminds us, “Wabi Sabi teaches us that dynamic transience is the natural state of things.”

Because of this we cannot waste time holding on to the past or even present when change is inevitable.  Rather we should savor it and hold it in our hand gently like a butterfly ready to take flight. 

Wabi Sabi- Day 6

Impermanence is an important part of Wabi Sabi. This is found in two ways. First is the idea of something no longer being. This is seen in the changes of the seasons. 

The other idea has more to do with transience. In other words, the anticipation of something that will soon be gone. I think we see this in the lives of our children as they grow older. 

Having an appreciation for the impermanence of life can make us more aware of the here and now. When we realize that today will never come again we may not be so quick to live our life on autopilot.

“With the fall of a single leaf we know autumn is here.” This Japanese proverb alerts us to the imminence of change in the world. This awareness of the seasons helps us to be more in tune with the rhythms of our body. 

As the days become shorter and the weather colder we need to pay attention to our bodies need for rest. In the animal world, for many creatures, this is a time for hibernation. Why shouldn’t we consider a modified version of this?

Because we fail to notice this, and continue to overextend ourselves regardless of the season we may push ourselves to exhaustion, and may struggle to remain healthy. 

Getting enough sunshine during the summer months and curling up on the couch under a blanket with a good book in the winter might be all that we need to feel our best. 

Let the seasons remind you that for every season of effort there is time for rest. Nature knows this instinctively.  We on the other hand in our modern world have used modern technology to keep us moving at the same pace year round. Wabi Sabi helps to remind us to choose differently. 

Wabi Sabi- Day 5

 The Japanese people have a unique relationship with nature. In their minds and heart they look toward nature in this way, “Nature just is, and welcomes you, just as you are.” 

The beauty of nature and the philosophy of Wabi Sabi brings to light “that everything is impermanent, imperfect, and incomplete. 

In our western sensibilities it’s easy to continually pursue elusive perfection, always coming up short. As we connect with these teachings of Wabi Sabi we can feel “unconditionally accepted.”

Spending time in nature refreshes our soul, and reminds us of the miracles right before our eyes. Watch the beauty and order of nature, yet at the same time the death and decay that happens in the natural world. 

“By momentarily lifting us out of the fog of to-do lists, chores, and overwhelming tasks, Wabi Sabi holds a mirror to life’s magnificence -and in that mirror, we get a glimpse of ourselves.”

Simply, “The flowers keep blooming, whether or not you make a mistake.”

Wabi Sabi- Day 4

 As we delve further into the ideas of Wabi Sabi one thing to consider is the impermanence of beauty. This can easily be found in nature as we watch the leaves change from green to bright red as winter approaches. Of course, in just a matter of weeks those leaves have turned brown, and have fallen to the ground. 

If in our hurry we failed to notice then we have to wait until the next year to experience them again. Sometimes we may have to wait several years before the right combination of elements produces the brightest of reds on those Red Oak trees. 

Impending is the word that describes the inevitable fading of that beauty. Rather than anticipate it with sadness, we should embrace the here and now. Just like the few weeks that my lone Redbud tree blooms I look forward each year to seeing those first blossoms. 

As we define each word, Wabi meaning “the beauty found in simplicity,” and Sabi being “beauty that emerges with the passage of time,” we can begin to grasp how profound this teaching is, and how it can truly enhance our own lives. 

It is important to not lose sight of the idea of, “This meeting,this time only” The reality is that this very moment will never ever be fully replicated. If we are unaware then we have missed out on what that moment had to offer. 

Wabi Sabi - Day 3

 

What Wabi Sabi actually does is “gives you permission to be yourself.”  As simple as this might sound really knowing who you are is not as easy as it sounds. We have been influenced by so many outside forces that it’s not uncommon to lose sight of who we really are. 

Keaton states, “It (Wabi Sabi) encourages you to do your best, but not make yourself ill in pursuit of an unattainable goal at perfection.”

What has helped me over the years to better understand myself are the words of author Gretchen Rubin, “You can choose what you do, but not what you like to do.” These words have given me permission to stop trying to enjoy the things that I really don’t. 

In the process of releasing the need for perfection you can slow down, and just enjoy your life. 

Because we can find beauty in almost anything we no longer have to travel to the far corners of the world chasing that next elusive high. Now that’s not to say that a trip to Ruidiso, New Mexico shouldn’t be on your list of travel spots. Getting an opportunity to experience life from a different perspective is always good for the soul. 

Wabi Sabi- Day 2

According to Beth Kempton, author of Wabi Sabi, “Wabi Sabi is an acceptance and appreciation of the impermanent, imperfection, and incomplete nature of everything.”

 In so many ways this goes against everything my culture has taught me. Striving for excellence, avoiding mistakes, hitting the mark have all been voices in the back of my head. 

It’s one thing to accept the imperfections as part of life, but to actually appreciate them. How is this even possible? I’ve always strived and prefer order in my life. 

Interestingly Wabi Sabi does not just address the “things” in our lives, but includes ourself in its philosophy. It teaches us to let go of that elusive and impossible goal of perfection. It leads us toward accepting who we are just as we are. 

Considering the number of self-help books that line my shelves this seems quite foreign to my western ears. 

The simplicity of Wabi Sabi is to look for the beauty in the ordinary-the every day. It’s so easy to get caught up in the busyness of our days that we forget to look, and miss out on what’s right before our eyes. 

In other words as Kempton reminds us, “Less head, more heart.”

Wabi Sabi- Day 1

 According to Google the definition of wabi-sabi is a “Japanese aesthetic and world view that emphasizes finding beauty in imperfection, impermanence or simplicity.” 

In May I began reading a book by Beth Kempton entitled Wabi Sabi. I’ve actually been in no hurry to finish it, and have savored it in the mornings as I’ve sat quietly by myself on the back porch. 

I really enjoyed the unseasonably cool summer we had  this summer, and am missing the delightful hummingbirds who came each morning to feed.

I’ve taken notes along the way, and have decided to record some of the wisdom I’ve gleaned through a series I’ll be posting 

Over the last ten years or so I’ve become quite fascinated by the Japanese culture. Japan has always held a special place in my heart because it is the place of my conception. Could it be possible that I have somehow formed a connection with a place I’ve never really seen? 

As I reread the definition I know for a fact that I was intrigued by the Voluntary Simplicity movement of the nineties, and have struggled with my own imperfections over the years. Finding beauty in imperfection seems to go against my Western sensibilities. But I am drawn toward the idea of wabi sabi, and look forward to sharing with you what I’ve learned.