Strength

Strength. 

I was reading a posting from this time last year that was written just days before the death of my father, except at the time I didn't know that. I was reflecting on the fragileness of our hearts as I had recently learned that one of Dad's dear caretakers had moved on to a new facility. 

It struck me quite hard because I had grown to depend on her, and with her leaving I felt more alone, and vulnerable to what I knew was eventually coming. As hard as I had tried to stay strong, I found my weakness slipping out through the tears I tried to hide. 

As I reflect on this past year I have found it to be much easier. We were blessed with our beautiful apartment and lake, we got to visit Chuck's dad in Florida, our daughter and her family moved an hour closer, and our second grandson was born. 

I did not have to be so "strong" this year, except when I thought about it the truth was that any strength I had was more a gift from God, and less about me. My strength had came from the Lord who seemed to have wrapped his loving arms around me, and brought me the strength I needed to face the next day. He lifted me up through the people he sent my way, and through the peace that seemed to pass understanding. 

Tomorrow will be the anniversary of my father's death. I miss him. I miss his smile that greeted me at the door, the sound of his laugh that rang out, his stories of days gone by, the song in his heart that manifested in a hum, and his warm embrace while telling me he loved me.

We seem to be both fragile and strong, as we face the trials that come along our way, but that's okay.