Hovering

Hovering. 

Helicoptering parenting sure is an easy thing to do, even though we know it's really not the best thing in the long run. Expecting our children to become fully functioning adults just doesn't happen if we are there to solve every problem. 

Except it seems to be in our nature to want to protect, and to assure that our children are never sad or disappointed. We attempt to craft a Disney World type of childhood for them, or at least die trying. The whole Elf on the Shelf phenomena is an example of the over the top parenting that most of us, myself included have been party to. 

Left to my own devices I think I probably would have been a card carrying helicopter parent in my attempts to make my daughter's life perfect, except that she wouldn't let me. Early on in her childhood she set me straight, and taught me a very valuable lesson about independence and learning how to solve problems on your own. 

Growing up she lived in a neighborhood with children of all ages who played together.  Brittany had one particular friend who appeared to be her favorite, probably because they were the closest in age. However, apparently she and her friend had a habit of going off away from the group leaving the others behind. 

One day there was a knock at the door, and when I opened it there was a group of neighborhood children being led by one particularly brave child who had decided to be the spokesperson for the group. She relayed the message that they were not happy about how Brittany and her friend were not including everyone. 

When it became apparent that all these children were "ganging up" on my precious daughter my mother bear instincts kicked in. How dare they show up at our door and criticize my innocent daughter!  I was ready to lay into the "mob" when I heard Brittany say, "You're right. I'm sorry, and we won't do it again." The group left quite happy with her answer. 

I was shocked. My eight year old daughter had completely handled the situation on her own, and had not needed my help. In fact, she had dealt with it better than I would have. I learned a lesson that day. 

My daughter didn't need me to solve every problem that came her way. Over the years I took great pleasure in watching her handle situations that came up. She just seemed to have a knack for it, and it put my job as parent into a different perspective. It was okay for her not to need me for everything. 

Just like the mother bird has to push her baby out of the nest and let it fly, I realized that day that hovering too closely all the time would not allow my baby bird to soar. Parenting can be the hardest job you'll ever undertake, but it's also the most rewarding.