Wisdom

Wisdom. 

"Knowledge is flour, but wisdom is bread."

Austin O'Malley

Tolerance

Tolerance. 

"The ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with ."

Wow! This is a hard one for me. It is not in my nature to be tolerant. Oh, I might be nice or come off as respectful, but the whole time I'm probably doing a whole lot of judging. 

The other day as I passed an opposing side of the political aisle on the way to early vote, I found myself wanting to say something negative as I passed by.  My right for free speech seemed perfectly appropriate at the time, except I didn't speak out, and I'm glad I didn't. This man had every right to think differently from me. 

As it turned out he did speak to us, but not about his candidate. He pointed out a proposal at the bottom of the ballot about funding our county hospital. We thanked him, and later realized that it could have easily been overlooked if he had not brought it to our attention. 

Being tolerant is not just keeping your mouth shut or speaking in a respectful manner, it actually has more to do with the thoughts that precede the action. Casting an immediate judgement before getting to know someone, failing to search for understanding, and more than anything thinking you have all the answers doesn't lend itself to a very tolerant world. 

Our country is a big enough place for many views, and lifestyles. Infact, our constitution provides this through its Bill of Rights. Always casting the first stone does not make for a peaceful existence. If someone truly wants to know your opinion, share it respectfully not trying to change theirs. If they want to know more than share more, if not keep walking. 

We all feel comfortable preaching to the choir, and there is nothing wrong with like-minded people sharing their views. Birds of a feather have always flocked together, but we shouldn't limit ourselves to only our point of view. If we truly want to reach across the aisle to extend a hand of friendship we must extend tolerance as well. 

"Love your enemies."

Jesus Christ

Temperance

Temperance.

"Moderation or self-restraint in action, thought or feeling."

Moderation seems to be my middle name. I've never understood extremes. To be honest I'm sometimes envious of the die-hard sports fan fully clad in representative colors, and sporting face paint. Nope, it's just not me. 

My practical nature technically comes across as pretty boring. You don't find me responding over the top about much of anything. I keep most everything in check. 

Except, perhaps in the line at Walmart.  I don't know what it is about that place, but I have lost my cool there way too many times to count over the years. Perhaps, I'm setting myself up for failure by shopping there so much. 

About a year ago I went to pick up a grocery delivery for my daughter, and couldn't believe my eyes as I watched the bin of groceries tumble out all over the parking lot when the attendant hit a bump. 

To make matters worse my groceries co-mingled with another customers, and I had no idea what my daughter had purchased. I kind of figured the large amount of vanilla pudding cups probably weren't hers, though.  I know the employee was mortified, but she blew it off with a  "things happen" attitude.  At that moment she hit a nerve, as my temperance was hanging by a thread. 

I returned to my car to wait for her to figure it out, after letting her know I wasn't pleased. Oh, wait it gets worse. At that moment I was only mildly disturbed. When I returned a few minutes later the man waiting there took it upon himself to step in as rescuer, and let me know that I was out of line for complaining. 

At that moment, not my finest, I basically lost all self-restraint. I'm sure it's on video somewhere, and making its way into the infamous people of Walmart archive. After my rant I was so embarrassed that I avoided the place for several months, and when I did return I crept in wearing a scarf and sunglasses. 

I sure could have used the virtue of temperance that day. 

"Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult."

Samuel Johnson

Simplicity

Simplicity.

"The simplicity of something is the fact that it is not complicated and can be understood or done easily."

I fell in love with the Voluntary Simplicity movement of the 90's. I loved the idea of leading a simpler life, not losing sight of what really mattered. We had just escaped the Yuppie mentality of the 80's where reaching the magic number of $30,000 got you a membership in the American Express Club. 

As I read about those who were exiting the madness of being busy twenty-four seven, and  trying to keep up with the Joneses,  I couldn't help but admire those who embraced this new philosophy. I can't say that my life changed much besides purchasing several really cool books about the movement. Of course, as I reflect back on it I had always chosen a simpler path in my life. 

Perhaps, this was due to not being overly materialistic, and being content with less. It may also stem from giving time a high priority. Even as a teenager, when given the choice between time to do what I enjoyed or working to make extra money for more clothes, time always won out. The siren call of a new outfit never trumped a library book. 

Today I see many people rushing from one activity to the next. There seems to be very little down time just to rest. I've always tried to maintain a type of balance in my life, and it seems to partner well with my personality. I think simplicity as a virtue can be embraced to some degree by all. 

I know that some really thrive on an on-the go type of life, and I've learned that "different strokes for different folks" really is true. However, what I am proposing is inviting a little more simplicity into your life, and see how it influences your perspective. 

"Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated."

Confucius 

Serenity

Serenity. 

"The state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled."

If you are a Type A person by temperment serenity is not a virtue that comes easily to you. Your need to be in control of all situations sets you up for an anxiousness as to what might go wrong. 

I've written about this before when I wrote about awfulizing. This is the tenedency to always look for the worst case scenario. This is done more out of the need for self-protection, not so much out of being a pessimist by nature. 

Serenity for me goes hand in hand with putting my trust in God. Left to my own devices I would spend most of my time worrying. However, by placing my faith in God I have learned, not that things won't go wrong, but that I will be able to make it through any circumstances with His help. 

Time and time again during difficult times people have been placed in my path to help me along the way. I know that this is not pure coincidence. Having others to lean on allows you to live in a more serene way. 

The Serenity Prayer is a good reminder as to who is actually in charge. 

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And the wisdom to know the difference. 

Reinhold Neibuhr

Self-control

Self-Control. 

"The ability to control oneself,  in particular one's impulses and emotions, especially in difficult situations."

I think this may be the hardest virtue of all for most people. Especially since each person has their own vice they find hard to control. 

Put me near the appetizer table at a get together, and you can FORGET ABOUT IT!

My personality is more of an abstainer than a moderator.  As long as I don't get started I'm usually okay. For some, though, moderation is the name of the game. 

Of course, self-control is not just about the food we eat. Sometimes biting our tongue, and not lashing out at others takes every bit of self-control that we can muster. However, strengthening this virtue can make a difference in our relationship with others. 

Learning self-control is a muscle that must be exercised starting in childhood. I always felt bad for children who entered school for the first time having never practiced self-control. I couldn't help but place more blame on some well meaning adults who thought they were doing their child  a favor by never insisting they sit still. 

Another aspect of self-control is curbing impulses. How many of us has been guilty of an impulse buy that they later regretted? Buyers remorse is a real thing, and I've got a set of State Fair waterless cookware to prove that. Children are required to practice self-control each time their parents check out at the grocery store. Heck, even I have to turn a blind eye to the candy bars calling my name. 

"Whatever lies within our power to do lies also within our power not to do."

Aristotle 

The Blanket

The blanket. 

When I first retired one of the things I wanted to learn was how to crochet. My grandmother had tried to teach me years ago, but my lack of patience and fumbling fingers did not make for a good combination. I never learned. 

However, with more time on my hands, and a little more perseverance I decided to give it a try. My daughter had recently gotten engaged, and I had hoped to someday have grandchildren. One of my dreams was to, just like my Grandmother, crotchet a baby blanket for my future grandchild. 

So slowly, and laboriously I began the process of learning how to crochet. Chuck became the recipient of one of the many scarves I crotchet that first winter. He was so gracious to wear it proudly overlooking the many mistakes, and unevenness of the final product. 

When Brittany and Will announced the impending birth of their first child I knew I needed to get started on the blanket. I picked out some ultra soft yarn specifically designed for babies and got to work. I knew I wanted to crotchet a smaller sized blanket that my grandson could use in the car, and could carry around with him. 

To be honest I was really pleased with the end result. It wasn't perfect, but it was definitely made with love. He sleeps with it every night. Now as a you know grandson number two has come along, and my daughter has put in an order for another blanket. 

She found more of the same kind of yarn just in a different color. Now that the weather is starting to get cooler it will be the perfect time to get to crocheting. I've already been warming up with a few practice stitches because I haven't crotcheted since we moved from our old house. 

I'm hoping this little one likes his blanket as much as his brother, and it helps keep him warm this winter.