Unfounded

Unfounded. 

The other day I posted about the opportunities afforded through change. One of my observations was that the paradox of change is that it can be both craved and feared. 

One of my readers pointed out, "Change, however, brings fear of the unknown. So often unfounded." This got me to thinking about how much truth was in that statement. 

I've written in the past about the process of "awfulizing" which basically boils down to assuming the worst. 

One of my friends shared with me the other day how a friend of hers asked,"What is the worst thing that could happen?" These simple words allowed her to get a better perspective on her dilemma. As it turned out the worst case scenario wasn't insurmountable after all. 

It's easy to allow our minds to run amuck and paralyze us with fear, but nine times out of ten that fear is probably "unfounded." It would do us well to keep this in mind when presented with change. 

It would be a shame to allow an opportunity to pass you by out of fear of something that probably wouldn't have happened anyway. 

Big Dreams

Big dreams. 

I just finished reading The Magnolia Story by Chip and Joanna Gaines and their co-author Mark Dagostino. If you are a fan of Fixer Upper it is a delightful read. 

One thing that really made an impression on me was their ability to dream big. Each time Joanna would slip her toe into the water of a big dream, Chip would be there to say, "Let's do it!"

In considering this boldness it made me realize that I don't really dream, let alone dream BIG when it comes to my life. I cautiously weigh each step, never allowing myself to wonder for more. 

At this point in my life I have the luxury of time, and yet no real vision for the future. I can't help but wonder if I allowed myself to dream BIG what might be in store for me?

New Opportunities

New opportunity. 

Not to be outdone by Chip, Joanna Gaines has her own words of wisdom in their book, The Magnolia Story.

When Chip announced that he had found a buyer for their beloved home in Castle Heights, Joanna conceded that, "...with change comes new opportunity." It got me to thinking about why we are so often reluctant to change? 

New opportunity really can be a good thing. New opportunity is what helps keep you young, and motivated. I've been one to both fear and crave change. I think for me the problem is that I'm quick to ruminate over, "What if?" and then go automatically to the worse case scenario. 

Except, even when I've had second thoughts about change I may have initiated, I have found change to be beneficial. After returning back to elementary school after a two year stint in middle school I never regretted the decision to give it a try. Looking for the new opportunities in change might not be so bad after all. 

Getting Too Comfortable

Getting too comfortable. 

I'm reading The Magnolia Story by Chip and Joanna Gaines, and I highly recommend it if you are a Fixer-Upper fan. Chip is certainly an interesting fellow, and Joanna keeps reiterating the fact that you can't put him in a box.

Although, Chip and my personality are day and night, I could relate to one thing he mentioned about comfort. His exact words were, "We were getting comfortable in that house. And I've gotta say, I don't like it when things get too comfortable."

Now as paradoxical as it might sound, although I am often drawn to the comfort of the familiar, after a while I don't like it, and find myself wanting a change. I keep wanting to move on to the next thing, whether it be grade level, home or church. 

Eighteen years was way too long to have spent in our last home. I remember spending six years in a row teaching kindergarten, and doubting I could teacher anything else. I didn't like that feeling. 

In getting "too comfortable" you stop taking risks, you stop putting yourself out there, and you stop exploring the unknown. Although, I doubt I'll ever feel as comfortable as Chip when it comes to change, I don't want to lose sight of the fact that there is always something new around the corner to be experienced. 

"Life's not meant to be lived in one place." 

Unknown

Living Off Grid

Living off grid. 

Now most of the time when you think about living off grid you imagine someone deep in the woods depending on rainwater and solar panels 

to get by. Well I have none of these, but since moving to my new apartment, I've definitely been doing some off grid living when it comes to the roads. 

Having just moved from the flat spaces of former pasture land, which was designed basically in a grid-like fashion, it's taking a little more time to make sense of the twists and turns of my current location. It appears that there isn't a straight road anywhere in the Las Colinas area, not to mention the unexpected hills. 

Everything seems to meander in a curve, and with all the interesecting highways it makes it a little tricky to find your way. It brings back memories of my time as a flower delivery girl back in college. During the seventies when gas was relatively cheap florists actually delivered their flowers all around the Dallas area. It was interesting how many times I found myself lost that I would soon have another delivery in that now familiar area. I had failed to mention to the owner at my interview that I had only traveled once across town on my own prior to getting the job. Back then you relied heavily on a Mapsco, unlike the built-in GPS systems of today. 

Although living on grid might be easier and more comfortable, I'm enjoying the challenge my off grid living is presenting. Now back to  Google Maps!

Risking the Fly

Risking the fly. 

Sometimes in life you have to just risk what might not end up being the most perfect of circumstances, in order to get something you want. More specifically, the other day I had the porch door open in order to get a little fresh air into the apartment. 

The unexpected or should I be more truthful, expected consequence was that a fly made its way inside. Now obviously, no one wants to purposely allow a fly into their home. The pure annoyance, and near impossibility of capture all make for an unpleasant experience. 

However, when weighed against the delight of the fresh air, then maybe taking the risk was worth it? Does a fly make its way inside everytime the door is open? Probably not. 

So is it worth the risk to deal with an occasional fly in return for an elevated mood? Perhaps so, of course, in opening the door you are also risking a mosquito or two which might be a whole other conversation. 

Overcast

Overcast. 

I'm one of those people who seems to thrive in sunny weather. One of the mixed blessings of this apartment are the trees which surround it. Although, it gives a kind of treehouse effect which I like, it does limit the amount of natural light available. 

It seems for the last couple of weeks we have had few really sunny days. If I find myself spending too much time in the world of grey, my motivation starts to waver. I've tried to take advantage of any sunny moments by getting outside more often. This is where having a dog really comes in handy. 

It's interesting, though, that how you view the world can be dependent on the amount of your sunlight exposure. As I was writing this post my mood changed immediately when there was a little break in the clouds. 

I've known people who live in areas of the country that are overcast for months on end to actually use light therapy to help elevate their moods. No wonder places like Florida are so popular. 

Luckily, here in Texas we are graced most of the time with a big, blue sky, and plenty of sunshine to go around. I'm hoping to see more soon. 

Transitions

Transitions. 

Anytime you leave something familiar for a set of new circumstances there will be a transition period. We have been in the apartment now a little over a month, and things are beginning to settle into our new normal. 

It is definitely different, and I still find myself sometimes longing for my old life. Except that life had already began to change when our sleepy little town was no longer little anymore. Whether I liked it or not as time went by I was having to make the transition as Frisco changed from town to city. 

When I retired I had to make the transition of no longer being a teacher. It had been a part of my life and identity for thirty-one years. Luckily for me being able to teach part-time for several years was a way to ease out of the profession. 

As exciting as new can be, change will most of the time bring a few challenges of its own. However, over the years I found each time that I took on that challenge I benefited in some way. 

Who knows what tomorrow might bring, and where we will be a year from now, but for today I'll keep in mind the words of Joanna Gaines when she speaks about enjoying, "...the space and season," of your life. 

Budgeting Time

Budgeting time. 

Have you ever considered making a budget for your time? I really hadn't until listening to a podcast by Joshua Sheats called Radical Personal Finance.

He points out that just like budgeting your money, budgeting your time can help you to accomplish your goals, and not squander the one resource you can never get back. 

Even Ben Franklin pointed this out when he said, "Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff that life is made of."

When I started doing a monthly budget it was really quite freeing because I knew exactly where my money was going. When it comes to time, just like money,  it can slip through your fingers without you even noticing. I'm bad about sitting down to check my Face Book and not realizing that thirty minutes has slipped away. 

I'm thinking by setting up a time budget it will make me more aware of how I spend my day. Now I'm not wanting to set up a strict time schedule, but I was thinking more of prioritizing the things I want to do, and making sure that I do them. 

Just like a money budget I can decide ahead of time what really is important to me, and how I can best utilize the time I am given. I'm thinking it could be freeing as well. 

Inviting Mistakes

Inviting mistakes. 

For most of us mistakes are the kind of thing to be avoided. Mistakes are things done wrong, so why would they even be encouraged? Why would anyone invite mistakes?

Eric Maisel in his book, the Creativity Book, writes, "One of the hallmarks of an everyday creative person is that she does the kind of work that invites mistakes."

Although, mistakes are things done wrong, their value cannot be dismissed. Thomas Edison in his attempts to create the lightbulb made at least 10,000 mistakes. His thinking, though, was that he came up with 10,000 ways not to make a lightbulb. 

The other night I was trying a new recipe for quiche, and did not read the recipe carefully. I over cooked the pie crust which resulted in the edges folding over into the crust. Although, the final presentation could have looked better, the quiche itself was actually delicious. My mistake resulted in me committing to read a recipe through completely the next time before getting started. 

To me it looks like inviting mistakes has at least a two-fold benefit. First it means you are allowing yourself to take risks and try something new. Secondly, it gives yourself practice at not taking every mistake so personally. We ALL make mistakes, and none of us are immune. 

As Maisel states, creativity invites mistakes, and if we choose to be creative then mistakes will be part of the process. At its least mistakes will teach us how not to do something. For me the difficulty lies in not being so hard on myself when I do mess up, and being open to the possibilities for growth that my mistakes may bring. 

Growing Up

Growing up.

Yesterday I received a crying emoji laced text from my daughter. She was bemoaning the fact that her soon to be seventeen month old son was no longer a baby. He could sleep without the security of his Zipadee-Zip, he could sit up in the bathtub on his own, and he was using a spoon to eat his cereal. 

I got to thinking about how bittersweet all those milestones are. As each one is reached babyhood slowly creeps away. I also got to thinking about how at the time I never realized that each of those things would be the last time I would experience them. I didn't know that I would not have anymore children. I just assumed that Brittany would have at least one brother or sister. So as she sailed through those milestones I kept on unaware that maybe I should have treasured them more in my heart. 

Chuck and I had made the decision to not rush away any age or stage. We made our way through each age enjoying what it would bring, and making the best of its challenges. I can't say I have any regrets with that decision. 

What I am enjoying today is getting to relive some of those moments through our grandson. Not being distracted by the responsibilities of parenthood has really added to the joy of being a grandparent. 

I must agree, though, with Brittany that it is a little sad to see those baby years fall behind as he makes his way to being a big boy. 

Uncommon Sense

Uncommon sense. 

Common sense is not so common these days. In fact, the CEO of United Airlines pointed out that very fact when apologizing for the way his airline had dealt with an uncooperative passenger. Even with all the policies and procedures a little common sense from his employees would have gone a long way to preventing a 
media nightmare. 

This lack of common sense even spills into the classroom. When a zero tolerance policy ends up with a suspended six year old for crafting a gun out of a Pop Tart you know something is clearly wrong. 

The nightly news often finds us shaking our heads and asking, "What were they thinking?" What used to be so commonplace, doesn't seem to be the case anymore. It appears that everyone is checking a policy manual in order not to do the wrong thing, instead of relying on their own common sense. 

Children today rarely have the opportunity to utilize common sense because so much of their time is spent under the supervision of adults. This lack of common sense seems to be the norm when it comes to policies found on college campuses. 

What once was a given, is now actually a rare commodity. Common sense has now become uncommon. 

Purrsistent

Purrsistent.

Her majesty, Abby, has decided that she purrfers our bed to the bed in the guest room. I guess the quilted china cover, and the mountain of pillows was not enough for her. 

The problem is that Abby was banned from our bedroom a couple of years ago due to Chuck's allergies. Nothing like a face full of fur on your pillow at night. 

Now every time I turn around she is making her way back to our bed. In fact, I've chased her off twice in the last few minutes. One thing about cats is their purrsistence. If they want something, they don't easily give up. Getting in trouble or annoying their person is the least of their concerns. They figure if they keep at it eventually you'll give up, and they'll get their way. 

Except Abby doesn't know who she's dealing with here. The bedroom door will be closed when I'm gone, and the water bottle might have to make an appearance again. She may be purrsistent, but as a former kindergarten teacher, which is kind of like herding cats, I've got over thirty years of skills, and I'm persistent as well. 

Oh Hail!

Oh hail!

One of our concerns about home ownership was hail. Last summer our house was hit by a hailstorm that severely pock-marked the fence, tore up the screens, dented the gutters, and required a new roof. 

When our house went on the market, each time it rained we held our breath. A few weekends ago as we slept soundly on the bottom floor of our four story apartment complex, our house was once again pelted with hail. Except this time it wasn't your run of the mill pea-sized hail, no it was golf ball size!

As our neighbors began to alert us through text messages and Face Book our hearts sunk as we began to pray that everything was alright. Even though, the house was under contract we were still officially its owners, and would be responsible for its repair. 

We had lived in the Frisco area for thirty-two years, and had never remembered hail so large. What were the chances? As it turned out after having the roof checked by a professional, it had sustained no damage. 

We were quite grateful, and just prayed the weather would hold for another two weeks. Of course, this was Texas, and it was spring, so again what were we thinking? We were supposed to close today, but as luck would have it we closed last Friday. Apparently, there was another hailstorm in Frisco yesterday. Luckily, it was relatively mild as hailstorms go, but I was quite relieved that the responsibility for the house was no longer ours. Haillelujah!

Reflection

Reflection.

The other evening as Chuck and I rounded the bend of our lakeside walk we came upon a beautiful sight. The reflection of the building was shimmering upon the water. Always on the lookout for a picture for my blog I began snapping away, and later posted it on Face Book. 

That weekend when I was visiting my grandson I showed him the photo. His inquisitive sixteen-month old mind attempted to make sense out of what he was seeing. He kept turning his head upside down to try to right the building's reflection. We all got a good laugh out of his sweet gesture. 

Later that day while checking my notifications I noticed my high school friend, Marsha, had made the comment, "Reflection of the day." I thought it was appropriate due to all the reflection that had been going on recently in my life. It seemed to be a metaphor for the many changes I have been reflecting on for the last few months. 

As awe inspiring as the reflection upon the water was, watching my sweet grandson's reaction to the photo was priceless. I'm sure glad that we got to spend time with him again this past weekend. 

Nine Years Too Long

Nine years too long. 

I ran into a woman the other day when I was getting my new library card,  and she was curious about my move away from Frisco. She was twenty years my junior, and our conversation lasted for several minutes. As we continued our discussion she pointed out that she could not believe that she had lived in the same place for nine years. 

I could relate to the passage of time, because I'll be starting my ninth year of retirement next fall. The impression I got from her was that time had marched on without her really even  paying attention because she had never planned to be at the same place nine years later. 

I couldn't help but think about the idea of life not being a dress rehearsal, and although she did not sound particularly unhappy with her nine years, I could tell she was surprised how time had gotten away from her. 

Sometimes we think we have all the time in the world, and it doesn't matter that we let nine years get away. I've let time slip by, and the reality is it's impossible to go back and relive that time period. When you are younger, and take time as an unlimited resource you don't really see it that way. You just assume that there will always be enough time. 

As I make decisions about my days I want to be more intune to time, and guard against staying too long, when it is time to move on. 

Rightsizing

Rightsizing. 

I came across this term the other day, and thought it explained where we are in our life right now. While there was nothing wrong with our beautiful home, it just became more and more apparent that it wasn't the right fit anymore. 

As we spent our final hours there the other night making sure the house was ready for its new owners, we couldn't help but fight back a few tears. And yet, we could justify our move with an ever growing list of why it was the right thing. 

Rather than thinking of our move to a much smaller apartment as downsizing, I like to think of it as rightsizing. Eighteen years ago our new home seemed to be the perfect size as Brittany entered her tweens. As we walked from room to room we remembered all the family get togethers over the years, and how happy we were to have enough space for everyone. From Thanksgiving to Christmas, graduation parties, milestone birthdays, to even a gender reveal we sure lived a lot of life in that house. 

But as the community grew, and both us and the house aged we found ourself looking for a different fit. Apartment life is definitely different, but we feel very blessed to be living where we do now. We are embracing this new life, finding it to be just the right size. 

Good Shoes

Good shoes. 

On one of our first days at the apartment we made the mistake of walking around the entire lake. It was probably several miles, and unfortunately I had not walked on a regular basis since summer. Once again the whole, "What were we thinking?" thing came into play. 

To be honest I questioned whether I would be able to make it back to where we started, and to say the least my dogs were definitely barking. I knew that a better pair of shoes would be in my near future. 

Now ever since my stint in shoe business back in the seventies at The Wild Pair, I learned that standing on your feet for eight hours straight required a good pair of shoes. Ironically, I never once purchased a shoe from my place of employment. I'm thinking they must have been too wild for my sensible side. 

Although, I've found myself sometimes overly frugal throughout the years, I've always managed to buy good shoes. Running after kids for thirty years will do that for you. So the next day I was off to the mall to invest in a decent pair of walking shoes. 

I ended up purchasing a pair of Brooks athletic shoes, which the salesman assured me were some of the best. If their price was any indication I would have to agree that he was right. 

Basically, I've been walking on a cloud for the last two weeks. Although, I've not attempted the whole lake again, I've found my more manageable walks with Cooper to be quite enjoyable. These shoes are making all the difference in the world, and were certainly worth every dime, or should I say dollar. 

Often times it's worth the investment to purchase the correct equipment, and hopefully soon that walk around the lake will be a piece of cake. 

A Life of Crime

A life of crime. 

Well apparently Cooper is a thief. Yesterday we made a little trip down to the dog park, and for the first time he showed some real interest in playing with a tennis ball. 

I threw it several times as he raced after it, returning ít to me, and dropping it on command. Smart little guy. However, when it was time to leave, unbeknown to me, he still had the ball in his mouth. 

We continued on our walk as we enjoyed the lakeside view, and the momma duck with her ducklings passing by. Right about then we met a woman, and her two Cooper-sized dogs, and stopped to visit. It was then I noticed the yellow tennis ball at my feet. The woman affirmed that indeed Cooper had just dropped it.  

I couldn't believe that he had scooped up the tennis ball without me noticing it, and had carried it a fairly long distance without dropping it. I'm hoping the judge gives him liency, as this is his first offense. I guess from now on I'll have to frisk him when we leave the dog park. 

The New Girl

The new girl. 

I came across a posting from (In) Courage the other day about being the new girl. I couldn't help, but be reminded as to how difficult this can be. Most people like the comfort of belonging, and when we don't quite fit in it can be akward.

As a child I experienced being the new girl quite often as my father was in the military, and we moved frequently during my first eleven years. I never quite got used to standing in front of a class full of strangers being introduced as the new girl. 

Even though, I'm no longer a girl, I find myself returning to those old feelings at times. It is hard to walk into a room full of strangers and feel completely at ease. Maybe rather than convince myself to feel differently, I should just accept the fact that when approaching new situations there will probably be some level 
of discomfort. I think that is probably more normal than not. Perhaps I should extend myself a little more grace in this area, and just see what happens. I don't have to be in control of all situations at all times.