Housewife wisdom.
One of my guilty pleasures is watching the Housewives series. The other day Lisa Vanderpump made a comment in reference to Lisa Rinna's habit of saying something hurtful, and thinking that a simple apology somehow absolved her from her actions.
Her comment pointed out that if you broke a dish, and tried to repair it, would it ever really be the same? Of course, she had a point because the damage was already done. You can't unring a bell.
In hearing this it reminded me of something I'd read about recently called kintsugi, which is the Japanese tradition of repairing broken pottery with gold. When a dish or cup is broken, rather than throwing it away it is "patched with gold," resulting in something more beautiful.
Is it possible to "patch with gold" our words that might result in a broken relationship? I'm not sure that is always possible. It just reminds me to be more careful with the words that I say.
You question recalls what I am learning in a class by Brené Brown and Harriet Lerner called Heartfelt apologies. So often I extend my apology and add the word but....with an excuse. It isn't heartfelt if you use a disclaimer. Courageworks.com
ReplyDeleteI also think that sometimes we think that an apology somehow is enough. Its definately a start, but if the bad behavior continues then we need to take a second look at our actions. Glad you are enjoying your class.
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