Slowing Down

Slowing down. 

I feel fortunate that I have the privilege of slowing down. As I sat on my patio yesterday afternoon catching a glimpse of the water, I was reminded how important it is to not lose sight of what's right in front of you. I have a tendency to always think about the next thing, and in doing so my mind is constantly whirling. 

Part of our move to this apartment was to live a simpler life. Yesterday morning Cooper and I enjoyed our walk around the lake, and ending up checking out one of the two dog parks. After lunch I set out to locate my neighborhood Sprouts, and picked up the ingredients for an avocado tuna salad I had been wanting to make. I think what I like so much about Sprouts is its manageable size, and reasonable produce prices. 

My afternoon ended with me sipping some orange spice tea and nibbling on Pumpkin Spice cookies I had picked up at Sprouts, while I read a little, and wrote this posting. I'm glad I was able to enjoy a restful day yesterday as I'll be off to Frisco to get taxes done for my parents today, and have a busy weekend of work at the farm. 

The Roadmap

The roadmap.

Society presents us with a roadmap at an early age outlining all its expectations. From schooling, to careers, to relationships, to parenthood and even appropriate housing, it seems to have it all mapped out for us ahead of time. 

If we are accommodating by nature we travel along asking very few questions. In fact, often times we don't even consider that we should be asking. 

As much as millenials get a bad rap in the media, I find myself secretly envious of the path 
many of them choose. They don't seem so locked into the predetermined roadmap of my generation. The 
pursuit of the almighty dollar doesn't seem so pervasive. 

Unlike my generation who was never quite content with the "starter home," and moved quickly up to the McMansion, they have found that a smaller home frees them up to do the things they really want to do. Rather than put every dime into the upkeep of a home, why not travel instead?

Tired of that corporate job? Why not start your own online business, and make time for the things you really enjoy?  One such business is Wander Life Coconut Creamer. The founder, Kat is a friend of one of my daughter's close friends. Kat combined her love of travel with her need for a dairy-free creamer. Not one available? No problem. Create, manufacture and market one on your own. Kat even downsized from a small home to and even smaller apartment to free up income for travel. She offices out of her apartment, and leases space in a commercial kitchen to create her product. 

She seems quite content with this life she has crafted, and has no regrets about leaving the corporate world. It was a rare baby boomer that ventured out past the safety net the corporate world, the hospital or the classroom provided. The idea of being able to design your own life was quite foreign. 

I wish this generation all the luck in the world as they begin to make their mark, and think that they may have a trick or two that they could teach us boomers. 

Relearning

Relearning. 

"Where there is learning, there is always relearning." Erin Loechner in her book Chasing Slow writes about out this often overlooked point concerning personal growth. We naively convince ourselves that after having mastered new learning it will never have to be addressed again. 

I found myself in a unique situation a while back. As much as I had convinced myself that I had evolved from that uncertain teenaged girl, and had all the confidence in the world I found myself to be wrong. I felt so uncomfortable and akward that I really had no idea how to handle the situation. In fact, I didn't handle it well at all, and when I returned home I was quite disappointed in myself. 

What I had failed to realize was that there was some relearning needed in my life. As much as I'd thought I had left those insecurities behind, put in the right circumstances, I was that sixteen year old girl again. What the situation did teach me was that maybe some of that confidence was only surface level, and a way to mask some real fears about acceptance and rejection. 

So it's time to do some relearning, and to allow myself some grace when I'm feeling unsure of myself. 

Planning to Fail

Planning to fail. 

Most of us don't set out to fail. In fact, when we first start out we are probably pretty optimistic that we are going to succeed. If that wasn't the case then New Year's resolutions would not exist. I'm not sure the lack of willpower or self-discipline is the actual reason why resolutions fail. I wonder if it has more to do with the lack of a plan in accomplishing those goals? 

Businessman Alex Lakein teaches, "Failing to plan is planning to fail." I've found this to be extremely true for me when it comes to losing weight. If I want to be successful then I better have devoted some thought to my plan. Without a plan, and left to my own devices that bag of puffy Cheetoes wins every time. 

As things begin to settle down around here I'm wanting to devote more time to healthy eating. There is a Whole Foods right around the corner, and although I don't envision doing all my shopping there, I'm looking forward to trying it out when it opens. 

Allowing myself to plan meals, and shopping with a list just might keep me on track to meeting my weight goals. Or at least I sure hope so. 

Bittersweet

Bittersweet. 

This move has been a little bittersweet.  We have so many fond memories of our daughter growing up in this house, and I've told Chuck that what I'll miss most is not the now, but the what used to be. I'm glad, though, that we had the opportunity to hang two new stockings on our mantle at Christmas before we moved as we've watched our family grow. 

Each time we leave the house it seems less and less our home. It first began when we staged the house for sale. When our personal photos and mementoes were removed something seemed to be lacking. During the short time it was on the market the house had to be kept in model home condition. Our cat was boarded, and we pared down to one bathroom, leaving the newly remodeled master bathroom for the new owners. We became quite adept at living out of a crate which could easily be whisked away into the game room closet at a moments notice. 

Our move to the apartment began in stages, and has continued to do so over the last week and a half. Bit by bit as we have moved all our familiar possessions here, and set up shop this has become home. As I wrote before our cat appears to be in apartment heaven. This past weekend found us hard at work as we made two trips to the farm and brought back some more to the apartment. All that bragging about downsizing might just be a sham. 

With everything moved out of the house, and a few things left in the garage awaiting another Goodwill run, our house feels more like an empty shell echoing when we speak. I know that the last time we turn the key and walk away there will be a lump in my throat. Our house will no longer be ours, and will await its new owners. I hope she is just as special to them as she was to us. 

"Choose Less Ordinary"

"Choose less ordinary."

Sometimes inspiration can be found in a fortune cookie or in my case a Dove candy wrapper. Of course "ordinary" is probably a relative term. Ordinary as compared to what?

I think it's easy for any life to become ordinary when it becomes too automatic, too unintentional. Now for some choosing less ordinary might entail moving away to a new location, and embracing a whole new experience. One lucky friend from high school has moved to a beautiful beach-side home in Florida. To quote her, "I've never lived on stilts before." I can only imagine the adventures that await her. 

Although, we have only moved thirty minutes down the road, our lives are completely less ordinary.  Each day we are challenged to figure out something new as we learn our new area. Having lunch with Chuck yesterday was out of the ordinary because in the past we were not close enough to do so. 

What I've found to be true is that choosing less ordinary can help to spark an enthusiasm that may have been forgotten. It seems in our younger days there is always some big milestone to look forward to. As we settle into our latter years we may not see much change upon the horizon. Allowing ourselves to dream, and take action upon those dreams might be just what pushes us out of a too ordinary life. 

As much as I enjoyed the chocolate and the chocolate wrapper wisdom, I'm thinking making chocolate a less ordinary experience might benefit me more in the future, and I'll have to look for my inspiration elsewhere.

In Between

In between. 

Well we are living in the apartment now, but still have a few things left at the house, most of which will end up at our farm for safekeeping. Our dream is to someday expand the already existing apartment/garage into a three bedroom, two bath home for our retirement years. But that's for another day. 

Today apartment life has really measured up to our expectations. We have unpacked and find the smaller living space very agreeable to our needs. Chuck's thirty minute commute by train is probably the best thing of all. The animals are adapting, and taking Cooper out to do his business has been really easy. 

Although, I've found myself back in Frisco quite a few times to attend to errands, I am enjoying our lakeside living. We have spoken with several neighbors as we've taken Cooper out for a walk. The sidewalk that encircles the lake is perfect for enjoying the cool breeze, and the beautiful view. 

Smaller living seems to fit for now, and I'm hoping to start exploring the neighboring communities around my complex when things settle down. 

Dad's Uniform

Dad's uniform. 

Two years ago I hung up my father's Army uniform in my downstairs closet knowing that the next time he wore it would be at his funeral. Except, as life has way of doing, little did I realize that in the next two years he would have the occasion to wear it not once, but twice. 

On that first Veteran's Day Dad was honored as the highest ranking, oldest veteran at his Assisted Living facility. A ceremony including an honor guard concluded with the presentation of the flag to Dad. He beamed as he proudly accepted the honor bestowed upon him that day. 

Dad's uniform was extremely impressive with the many medals he had earned over his twenty year career. As children we had only seen him wearing ribbons, so we were equally impressed by the medals. 

The following year Dad had a second opportunity to wear his uniform at a This Is Your Life celebration planned by his activity director. As a family we are eternally grateful for the opportunity to honor Dad while he was still living. Once again Dad proudly wore his uniform, the honor guard attended, and I was able to read a biography of Dad's life. 

A few months later the uniform was taken down for the third time. It had been Dad's wish to be buried in his uniform. As we gathered together to say that final goodbye we took comfort in knowing that we had been able to honor Dad twice before, and remembered how handsome he looked while wearing his uniform. 

What Were We Thinking?

What were we thinking?

As I recall it began as an ordinary Saturday afternoon. We were living in Celina at the time, and were in McKinney to do our grocery shopping. I'm not sure whose idea it was, but I'm thinking Chuck's. Why not start collecting those little candy dispensers called a Pez.  Heck, why not?

Before we even realized it our hunt for Pez actually became a Pez quest. We travelled from store to store snatching up Pez like Easter eggs. By the end of the day there was no telling how many we had. All I know is that we were pretty satisfied with our treasure. 

So what began as a spontaneous act that day became an obsession for several years. Wherever we went we were always on the lookout for a Pez dispenser we did not own, including the coveted boxed collections. 

So fifteen years later what do you have? Three different tubs filled with the suckers, and a teetering stack of collector's boxes all desperately needing a home. 

Like I asked before, "What were we thinking?" We obviously were living in the moment and didn't fully think out the ramifications of that first Pez purchase. Considering the fun we had, though, and the memories they bring sometimes you just have to go with the flow and face the music later. 

Know anyone who might be in the market for a Pez collection?

The Cat Transition

The cat transition. 

One of my concerns when planning our move was how well our cat would adjust to our new apartment. After all she had spent her entire thirteen years living in the same house. 

According to the research I had done there would be a predictable transition period. In order to make the move as smooth as possible it would require premoving considerations, actual moving concerns, and possible post moving trauma. This became one more consideration on my ever growing lists of moving requirements. 

Prior to the house going on the market, we had the carpets professionally cleaned. Knowing that Abby had a tendency toward hairballs, we made the decision to board her while the house was up for sale. Luckily, the Boarding Bungalow was just around the corner. With a name like that I thought I could convince her it was a vacation. Each day I would stop by to spend time with her keeping my fingers crossed that the house would sell quickly. 

Fast forward to a few days ago when we moved into our apartment. I've decided that all my research was done in vain, because Abby was just so darn glad to be back with us she didn't care where she lived. Abby basically LOVES the apartment and is in cat heaven. 

She has claimed the second bedroom as her own, and pads around like she owns the place demanding food and treats. Most of the time she can be found purring contentedly sitting in either Chuck or my lap. So much for all that reasearch. Go figure Abby was made for apartment life! 

Williams Square

Williams Square.

Back in the mid-eighties Williams Square opened in Las Colinas. It quickly gained recognition due to the majestic mustang statues that welcomed guests to the building. 

My father was the first property manager of this regal landmark, and took great pride in the building. That first Christmas after it opened Chuck and I purchased a beautiful watercolor painting of Williams Square, and gave it to Dad as a gift. It followed him from home to home, and always held a prominent place on the wall wherever he lived. 

Ironically, I now live literally within sight of this structure. Early in the morning when I'm taking Cooper out to do his business, it greets me as I say hello to Dad. In addition, the watercolor painting is now mine, and is earmarked to be hung in the foyer of our new apartment. It's interesting how life works sometimes. I just want to be open to these small moments that bring joy to life. If you've never visited the mustangs they are worth the trip. Combined with lunch along the Mandalay Canal Walk at Las Colinas it would make for an enjoyable afternoon. 

Clown Car

Clown car. 

What happens when you attempt to downsize from 3,000 square feet to 1,300? Well you end up with a kind of clown car experience! 

Even though you've already gotten rid of about half of what you own, it becomes apparent that you should have pared down to about one third before you moved. 

So in the continued "stages and layers of decluttering," according to Courtney Carver there is still more work to be done. But do you know what? I don't really mind.  This smaller new home seems just the perfect size as I enjoy the tree lined view from my window. With Cooper laying on my shoulder, and Abby purring contentedly on my chest I'm feeling pretty good about everything. 

Of course, there is still more to be done here and at our house before we can declare the move officially over. But, what I've learned about stuff is it's kind of like that big lizard you see at the zoo. They pretty much take on the size of their container. So for now I'm keeping my container small and my stuff fewer. 

Anticipation

Anticipation. 

Poodles are known to be very intelligent dogs. Their command of understanding language is impressive. My husband, always the teaser, finds himself reminded by me that Cooper understands English. 

What's even more impressive about poodles is their ability to observe and anticipate. Cooper is extremely devoted to me, and loves nothing more than to be by my side. He is always watching what I am doing, and is quick to learn my routines. 

He knows that after taking care of his business in the morning to race to the top of the stairs to wait for me to return to the bedroom. He jumps off the couch as soon as my i pad closes each night around ten o'clock knowing it's time to hit the sack.

Recently he's picked up on a new routine revolving around the new, fancy bedding we bought for our Open House. He waits patiently on the floor as I fold down the comforter, and remove the miriad of fancy pillows, both Euro and American. He then jumps up to my side of the bed while I add the extra blanket on Chuck's side. As soon as I'm through he moves over to allow me to unfold my blanket. From there it's a matter of waiting for me to turn out the lights so he can curl up beside me. 

The remarkable thing is that no training was involved in any of this. Coooer just paid close attention and figured it out on his own. He amazes me every day, and continued to be the best dog ever!

Eight Years

Eight years. 

It's hard to believe that eight years have flown by since I retired from full-time teaching. At the time I had no real plan as to what I would do next. I just knew that I wanted to be open to the opportunities that came my way. 

I began by subbing at my old school, and that led to becoming a part-time reading tutor for the district. Although, I was happy to be retired I realized that I still had a lot of teaching left in me, and began what I considered "the perfect job." Three mornings a week every other day, done by 12:30, the opportunity to work with upper elementary students, and co-teaching with the best teacher ever whom I now consider a life-long friend. 

I've been involved in many capacities with my local retired teachers organization as photographer, historian, and third vice-president where I helped to collect hundreds of children's books for our local schools. 

I've been available the last two years to take care of my father and step-mother and their affairs. I've been able to travel care-free down to visit my daughter, son-in-law and precious grandson on a regular basis. 

I've traveled to the Grand Canyon, Mount Rushmore, Lake Tahoe, and the Everglades, and look forward to more traveling. I've read more books than I can count, and became an early adopter of the i pad, which began my interest in blogging 

I've been writing Grace Found Daily now for over two years, and have reconnected with many friends from the past, and made a few new ones as well. I feel blessed to have the opportunity to do what I love, and encourage others. 

Now as we leave behind our too big house, and move to our apartment, I can't wait to see what the future brings. Thanks for all your kind words and support throughout the past two years, and more than anything I look forward to checking in with you throughout the week. 

Decluttering

Decluttering. 

Truer words were never spoken than Courtney Carver's from her blog Be More With Less, "Decluttering comes in waves and stages and layers." 

For most of us decluttering might happen on a whim when we can't seem to fit anything 
more into the junk drawer, or we can't find a favorite shirt in the closet. The simple rule if you haven't used it in a year might come in handy at this time. 

But sometimes decluttering becomes more of a necessity if you are truly downsizing your residence. When fourteen rooms become seven you know there is no way all that stuff is going to fit. 

For us the first layer of decluttering had to do with a much needed attic clean-up. It was only after we removed everything from the walk-in attic into our bedroom that we realized how much stuff we actually had. As we began to make decisions about what to discard we found ourselves completely overwhelmed. 

After a multitude of drop offs at Goodwill we were quite proud of our accomplishments, until we decided to go on to round two. 

The house was getting ready to go on the market, and we knew there was still more that needed to go, except this time it was much easier. Beyond the sheer physicality of the job, the feeling of lightness was quite freeing as we let go of more and more. 

Thinking you can declutter once and be completely through might not be realistic. In fact it's already become apparent that when we get to the apartment we will need to do a little more decluttering.  Let go of what you can, but give yourself time to move onto the next stage. You will begin to appreciate the space you have brought back into your life. 

Still Waters

Still waters. 

In a few days we will be moving to an apartment that sits beside a small lake. The water is what first  caught my attention when Chuck and I drove by the complex last fall. It was not in our plans to move, but I remember thinking, "I could live here."

Over the last few years we had kicked around the idea of moving. Our house was really more than what we needed, our once small town was now a city bursting at the seams, and Chuck was commuting two to three hours a day. 

We were wanting a simpler life, and more time to do the things we wanted to do. Between home maintenance and commuting we found ourselves thinking there had to be more to life. 

It just seemed to make sense, as different areas of our life fell into place.  Our new home would be only a few minutes from Chuck's work, it would require no yard or pool maintenance, and because it was a fraction of the size of our house keeping up with housework would be a breeze. 

We are excited to begin this new chapter of our lives. We are committed to embracing a new life as opposed to our old lifestyle just in a new setting. I don't think we will be watching as much tv as we venture out more to enjoy life. 

I couldn't help but smile a few weeks back when at church we heard the words of the 23rd Psalm, "He leadeth me beside still waters." I leaned into Chuck and whispered, "We're being led beside still waters." It was a good feeling. 

Important

Important. 

I used to think that it was important to be important. Each compliment, accolade or recognition just validated the idea that I must be important. 

Except one day as I was hurrying down to the front office at my school it hit me that it wasn't BEING important that was important, but rather DOING something of importance that really mattered. 

Being important is all about you, while doing something of importance puts the focus on others rather than yourself. 

Sometimes in doing something of importance your work may be over looked. You may not feel that it has value at the time. However, you never know what influence you might have. One of my former students posted a picture of herself overlooking Machu Picchu in Peru. She went on to tell about her love of travel and adventure. 

It hit me that we had studied about Machu Picchu when she was a student in my sixth grade social studies class. Now I'm certainly not taking full credit for her choice to travel there, but I couldn't help but wonder if that lesson back in sixth grade might have sparked something in her desire to visit such a far away place?

In chasing important you might find yourself on a never ending quest for recognition. However, in looking for ways to do something of importance you might find yourself pleasantly surprised when you see how well someone else is doing and knowing you might have had a small part in their success. 

Predictable

Predictable. 

Is being predictable good or bad?  I suppose if you are predictable when it comes to fulfilling your obligations then that is a good thing. However, is a totally predictable life the way to go?

I think some of our predictability is due to our temperament. Dr. Phil likes to say, "The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior." As much as we might want to change, it might not be completely possible. We may have an innate default setting that keeps pulling us back to predictability. 

As I anticipate this new move, I keep thinking that I want to shake things up a bit. I want to push myself out of the predictability of my comfort zone. Author Annie Dillard believes, " How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." How predictable are you?

Housewife Wisdom

Housewife wisdom. 

One of my guilty pleasures is watching the Housewives series. The other day Lisa Vanderpump made a comment in reference to Lisa Rinna's habit of saying something hurtful, and thinking that a simple apology somehow absolved her from her actions. 

Her comment pointed out that if you broke a dish, and tried to repair it, would it ever really be the same? Of course, she had a point because the damage was already done. You can't unring a bell. 

In hearing this it reminded me of something I'd read about recently called kintsugi, which is the Japanese tradition of repairing broken pottery with gold. When a dish or cup is broken, rather than throwing it away it is "patched with gold," resulting in something more beautiful.

Is it possible to "patch with gold" our words that might result in a broken relationship? I'm not sure that is always possible. It just reminds me to be more careful with the words that I say. 

The Butterfly and the Bird

The butterfly and the bird. 

I was watching a video of a butterfly release the other day by a friend of mine who is an art teacher at one of our local middle schools. I couldn't help but be reminded of a butterfly release that happened at my school. 

One of my sweet students proudly brought a butterfly to school that she had raised from a caterpillar. She was excited to share its release with her classmates. 

We headed out to the playground jar in hand and gathered around for the big event. I couldn't help but take advantage of the teachable moment as we discussed the metamorphosis of the now beautiful butterfly. 

As my student unscrewed the lid of the jar my class cheered as the butterfly flew off. Our glee turned to dismay as we witnessed a large bird swoop in for an untimely meal. All at once in unison we all yelled, "Nooo!" and ran toward the winged fiend. 

Luckily, the butterfly made it away safely to live another day, and the bird flew away hungry. Again, another teachable moment about the food chain and the circle of life. 

Mom's Hands

Mom's hands. 

When I was a teenager there was a dishwashing liquid commercial where a young teen girl like myself compared her hands to the extremely young hands of her mother. Because of her mother's continued use of the product it was impossible to tell the difference between the two. 

I used to take great pleasure comparing my mother's hands to mine, except my Mom's hard working hands showed their age. I would pretend to be in the commercial and playfully ask, 'Whose hands are whose?"

Because my Mom passed away so early, I never really witnessed her aging.  I wasn't prepared for dimply thighs, creepy skin, spider veins, age spots, and the pull of gravity which basically leaves you saying, "What the heck?"

I was in line at Walmart the other day, and I looked down at the age spots on my arm. I always have to remind myself that that arm is really mine. I couldn't help but remember my mother. It's interesting that over forty years have passed, and I can still find myself with a lump in my throat when I think about her. The bond between a mother and a daughter knows no bounds. I sure feel lucky today sharing that with my own daughter. 

Beauty

Beauty. 

This  title caught my eye the other day when I ran across the book Chasing Slow written by blogger Erin Loechner. As I read I came across these words, "Beauty is not found in the after. It's in the during."

How many times have we been so engrossed in the finished product, that we have been oblivious to the process? When my daughter became engaged I counseled her not to get so caught up in the stress wedding planning can bring, and really enjoy the process. I can honestly say we enjoyed preparing for that beautiful day, as well as make life-long memories of our time doing so. 

I am a very results oriented person, and although there is value in that, many times I don't allow myself to slow down enough to smell the roses. 

In failing to acknowledge the beauty along the way, I may not actually fulły appreciate the end result. In fact, sometimes I'm left with the nagging sensation that I could have done more? 

So rather than only focusing on the "after," maybe we should just slow down the "during" to truly capture the beauty it may bring.

Moving On

Moving on. 

I'm finding myself with mixed emotions when it comes to selling our house. It has been a part of our lives for the last eighteen years and holds so many memories. 

Our daughter was not quite ten when we moved here, and now she is married and a mother 
herself. We have seen her through elementary school, middle school, high school, college, her first real job, and her wedding. Wow, so many wonderful memories. We have loved this house, and have felt so blessed to own it. It was perfect in every way for our family. 

As I write this I am tearing up, but I know in my heart that it is time to move on, and pass this house on to another family. Many years ago I remember reading Eric Carle's A House for Hermit Crab to a class of wiggly first graders. In the story the crab's beloved home becomes too small and he knows it is time to move on. 

Coincidentally, at the time we were moving from our too small house to another larger home. I found myself touched by the story as I struggled to read it tear-free to my students. 

Today we find our home to be too big, and more than we actually need. I guess just like the hermit crab it's all about finding that right fit for the season of your life. So as I return to getting our home ready to sell I won't forget how blessed we were to live here.