Risk

Risk. 

As I'm making my way through, Unlocking Your Creativity, I'm learning more about myself and how I respond to risk. 

Often times we are told that fear of failure or fear of success might be what is holding us back in the creativity arena. For me, though, I think it has more to do with the idea of risk. I rarely look at a new endeavor with unbridled excitement, rather I find myself uncomfortable with the uncertainty it brings. This level of discomfort often prevents me from even beginning. 

A few years after I was married I asked for a sewing machine for Christmas. Being the product of the educational system of the seventies, I had had my fair share of home economics, and had learned to sew. However, when I moved out on my own, I no longer owned a sewing machine. At the time I was excited to get started, but still a little unsure because it had been at least a decade since I had sewn anything. I remember getting the machine out and setting it up on our glass kitchen table top. My husband rightly expressed some concern about the weight of the machine, so I removed it and never took it out again. I guess that was just enough uncertainty to convince me that maybe it wasn't a good idea after all. 

Now I still own that machine almost thirty years later, and it has sat unused in my closet all these years. The reality is that now it has been four decades since I've sewn, and I REALLY don't know what I'm doing. What I'm learning, though, is that for me the ambiguity of a new task is too great of a risk. I like the safety found in my daily routines, and the things that are certain. The bottom line is that I like knowing what to expect. 

Now the author, Poreba, asks a good question, "How much assurance do you need before you begin?" Apparently, the risk of uncertainty is what ultimately holds me back. Now that I am aware of this, I plan on taking action because it is just not worth it not pursuing what you really want to do.