Waiting

Waiting. It's hard to wait. As a child I remember Christmas Eve being the longest night of the year. Now we are finding ourselves waiting on the birth of our first grandson. We saw our daughter and son-in-law over Thanksgiving and were hoping not to have to wait any longer. But, that little guy had other plans. So now we are back home awaiting the call. I remember when I was awaiting the birth of my daughter, I reluctantly had to accept that she would be born on her own time. In fact, she was born almost two weeks after her due date. I'm not naturally good at waiting. I'll go inside a fast food restaurant over waiting in the drive through any day. I'm quick to move, talk and act. However, I do remember when my daughter was young, I made the conscious effort not to rush her. I decided that allowing myself to wait would benefit her the most. I'm glad I did, because I didn't rush through those years. So I'll continue to wait on this new little guy and look forward to not rushing through them.

Freedom

Freedom. "Our freedom can be measured by the number of things we can walk away from," are the words of author and philosopher Vernon Howard. The summer after my first year to teach I moved back to my alma mater to begin working on my masters degree. It was an easy move. I was still living at home and owned relatively few possessions. It was a move I needed to make, and I had the freedom to do so. A few years later I had an opportunity to study in Colorado for the summer, however then I had signed a lease on an apartment, and had filled it with furniture and possessions. Needless to say, I stayed put. My freedom to just pull up and go was over. In life we spend a lot of time and money adding to our growing number of possessions. In the long run we end up not being able to walk away. We are obligated to our job, our debts, and the upkeep of our stuff. It's interesting that as you move deeper into life, all those things that seemed so important a decade or two ago, no longer hold the same appeal. Downsizing seems to be the name of the game. How free are you?

Turkey

Turkey. I remember the first Thanksgiving turkey I ever made. It was my first year to teach and my mother was in the hospital. She had been diagnosed with lung cancer and little did we know that this would be her last Thanksgiving. Because she was in the hospital, the job of Thanksgiving dinner had fallen upon the shoulders of my sister and I. My dear teacher friend, Linda Boatright had coached me through the turkey preparation, insisting that I could not go wrong with a roasting bag. She was not only correct then, but I've been using the same method ever since, and my turkeys have all come out great. That is to say with one exception. That was the year I decided to purchase a roaster, instead. My thinking was that it would free up the oven for sides. Being a rule follower, I dared not deviate from the directions, and did not even peek once to see how the turkey was doing. I had been warned that often times turkeys cooked in a roaster did not brown properly. You can imagine my delight when I lifted the lid and found my turkey to be a dark brown; unfortunately a too dark brown. Let's just put it this way; if you've ever watched Christmas Vacation with Chevy Chase then you know what I'm talking about. My husband did his best to carve it, and he  said he felt like Jesus with the loaves and the fishes, praying there would be enough to go around. This Thanksgiving we're ordering some smoked turkey from Rudy's just in case that little grandson of ours decides to make an early appearance. We're kind of hoping he does! Happy Thanksgiving from my family to yours.

Nature

Nature. What is it about spending time in nature? It just seems good for the soul. Yesterday I took advantage of a beautiful, crisp sunny day to spend some time investigating a local park that I had passed by several times. My husband, and I, and Cooper enjoyed some well earned down time and added some steps to our fitbits. I answered the question, "What are you waiting for?" and made a point to check it out. I enjoyed taking pictures, and walking through the wooded area. I agree with Aristotle, "In all things of nature there is something of the marvelous." I hope you get an opportunity to spend time in nature sometime soon.

What Are You Waiting For?

What are you waiting for? Is there something you've been wanting to do, but just haven't gotten around to it? Now this could be something relatively simple or maybe a whole new life. Two things have happened lately that has caused me to ponder this. A co-worker of my husband unexpectantly lost their spouse, and an acquaintance I barely know has chosen a whole new career, totally unrelated to her past life. I've watched co-workers, classmates and family members pass away, always thinking that there will be plenty of time tomorrow. I understand responsibilities and obligations. I've lived my entire life an honor student to such things. I'm not saying I'm moving to Tahiti, but what if I did?

Loyalty

Loyalty. When I think of loyalty, I think of my dog Zoey. Now Zoey has pretty much lived her entire life taking second stage to the more alpha dogs around her. The interesting thing though, is that she seemed very content to do so. Zoey never intentially ever gave us any trouble. She was always obedient, sweet, and accommodating. She was very in tune to my moods and was the first to show concern when I was upset. She was the kind of dog who would even check on you when you were under the weather. She somehow would curl up in such a way that you didn't even know she was sleeping in the bed with you. Her herding instincts were put on display at our farm once, when she chased a runaway calf out of the woods and back to her mother. She had never received one bit of training, and it was obvious it was pure instinct. Zoey was a trooper as she recovered from surgery on a torn ACL many years ago. It was during this time that we really bonded. Her recovery was long and arduous, but she never complained. Zoey has come to the end of her life,  and we are having to make the hardest decision a pet owner makes. Her quality of life is not good, and she is struggling more each day. I've learned a thing or two about loyalty from this sweet dog, and I will miss her when she's gone.

Coloring Books

Coloring books. Everywhere you look these days you are seeing coloring books for grown-ups. I think it's a great idea. Coloring was always one of my favorite things to do as a child. I loved having coloring contests. In fact it's the only kind of contest I ever really enjoyed. I think it was because I always was a good colorer. I took great pride in outlining very darkly and coloring lightly inside the lines. Yes, I'm an inside the lines kind of girl. I always have been and probably always will be. Once my Dad brought me home a Christmas coloring book when I was around ten years old. I remember making the commitment to faithfully color each page in sequential order. I loved every minute I spent coloring away to my heart's content. As a child one of my fondest desires was to own the illustrious box of 64; crayons that is. Unfortunately, I never achieved that honor. I think the box of 48 was the highest I ever owned. I continue to enjoy coloring even today. Of course I mix it up a little beween markers and colored pencils. Sometimes it's fun to be a kid again!

Opinions

Opinions. Do you care about what other people think of you?  Are you the kind of person that expresses your opinion freely, not worrying if it is not well received?  I have been thinking about this lately, and have come to the conclusion that although I would love to be one of those people, I am not. It does matter to me what people think. Just writing this blog was a huge step for me, because I'm uncomfortable with possible rejection. Putting yourself out there can be intimidating, but I'm glad that I have. I try to make my postings more thought provoking than controversial. The other day I was quick to react to someone I disagreed with, and regretted it later. I seem to have a need to be right, but when it gets in the way, and doesn't end well maybe I should reevaluate and look for a better way. How do you respond to those you disagree with?

Let Sleeping Cats Lie

Let sleeping cats lie. What is it about cats and the way they pretty much do whatever they want? Right now my cat is contentedly sleeping in the crook of my arm. If she could I think she would remain in this position all day. Now it doesn't matter that I might be wanting to do something that doesn't include her. Somehow she weasels her way back into my lap because that is her purr-fered
spot. Meanwhile, my obedient little poodle rests peacefully about two feet away on the couch. He's learned the infamous truth, "Cats rule and dogs drool!" Oh, what a world! I'd like to think this animal is truly devoted to me, as I know my poodle is, but if truth be known I'm just another warm spot along the way of her nine long lives!

All or Nothing

All or nothing. I've been guilty of this time and time again in my life. As long as everything was going well, or the way I wanted it to go I was fully engaged. This worked with my weight, my endeavors and even some relationships. However, if things began to go astray, I found myself giving up. If it couldn't be "perfect" then it wasn't worth doing. What I'm learning, though, is that life is never perfect. It doesn't matter how hard you try, something will not work out exactly as you envisioned it, especially when you allow others in the mix. So now I'm trying to be satisfied with "good enough," rather than all or nothing. Something happened the other day that was a setback. Now in the scheme of life it wasn't anything life or death, but it was frustrating. My first inclination was to just give up. It appeared that I really had little control over the situation. But in giving it some more thought, I realized that I had made a lot of progress and it was just going to take a little longer than I had hoped to reach my goal. I'm glad I'm looking at things differently now, and giving up the all or nothing mentality.

Drip by Drip

Drip by drip. I've noticed lately that there has been much ado about a certain coffee shop's cups. The elephant in the room is that although the cups are traditional Christmas colors now, they are missing the words Merry Christmas. Now, I think it is interesting how Christians are reacting to this. One pastor has suggested offering your name as Merry Christmas to your barista. That way they have to write the words on the red cup. Pretty stealthy if I do say so myself. The other, more popular reaction seems to be, "What does it matter? It's just a cup. We know the true meaning of Christmas." After giving this some thought, I'm not so sure this is the right attitude. What this coffee shop, along with many others have done, is created a faux Christmas. In an effort not to offend they have offended. Growing up in the 60's Christmas was an integral part of Americana. Everywhere you turned in the month of December, Christmas was proudly displayed. The words "Merry Christmas" were heard
regularly. When I began my teaching career in the late 70's we embraced the secular side of
Christmas, and left the birth of Christ for Sunday School. Bit by bit, in our attempts to never make
someone feel uneasy, we have removed Christmas from our culture. We have replaced it with some
sort of "Holiday of Your Choosing." I think it does matter that Merry Christmas has been left off that cup. Any color could have been chosen, but they chose a traditional Christmas color, and thumbed their noses at us that they would not acknowledge the traditional holiday. Now what you do with this is up to you. Maybe it doesn't matter and you may think it's "much ado about nothing." But drip by drip, everytime we stop paying attention and let another tradition go by, we might just be surprised when it all becomes a distant memory of an America we no longer know.

Macintosh Apples

Macintosh apples. Oh, the Macintosh! In my opinion the quintessential apple! If you've never tried one, I encourage you to take advantage of Macintosh season. Even if you are not a particular fan of apples, this one just might make you a believer. Macintoshes are not sold year round, so you have to be on the look out for them around the month of November. These apples are from New England, my birthplace, and I was introduced to them by my mother. I remember my favorite English teacher, who was from New England as well, meeting my Mom and discussing their mutual admiration for the Macintosh. In fact, my mom literally sent me to school with an apple or apples for my teacher- Macintosh of course. I was just about to bite into its juicy goodness, when I was inspired to write a little homage to its amazingness. Tell me what you think if you try it out.

Proud Daughter

Proud daughter. Yesterday was Veteran's Day and I had an opportunity to see my Dad dressed in his Army dress blues again. My Dad served in the military for twenty years and was in both World War II and the Korean War. He was being honored as the highest ranking, oldest veteran of the assisted living residence where he lives. Now what made this even more special is that my Dad has asked to be buried in this uniform. It has been hanging in my closet since February, and I never thought I would get an opportunity to see Dad wear it again. He looked as handsome today as I remember him when I was a child. I felt quite proud as the veteran honor guard came up to shake his hand and thank him for his service. I'm especially appreciative of the wonderful people who care for him each day that went out of their way to honor Dad. Our World War II veterans are dwindling and I felt blessed to be able to spend another Veteran's Day with my Dad.

The Things We Take For Granted

The things we take for granted. For most of us when we think about Memory Care, we envision a group of frail, elderly men and women. And most of the time we would be correct. But, unfortunately this is not always the case. I met a woman the other day in Memory Care who was in her early sixties. In fact, she was celebrating her birthday, and when asked her age, I found out that she was only two years older than me. It was a very humbling experience. I thought about all the things I complained about daily, all the times I felt sorry for myself, and all the things I wish I had and did not. And I felt ashamed at my selfishness and pettiness. I guarantee she would take on all those "troubles" if given one more day to spend outside of the confines of Memory Care. When you get to be my age, you find yourself dreaming about retirement and all the things you are going to do. You dream about traveling, building your dream house, spending time with your grandkids and starting all those hobbies you never had time for before.The reality is that your best made plans may not be up to you. I hope after this experience that I learn that all those complaints pale when given the opportunity to embrace a brand new day.

Advice

Advice. I got some good advice the other day. As you know, I find myself struggling to maintain the twenty pounds I lost two years ago. I did very well for about a year, but ever since this summer I keep gaining and losing the same few pounds. More than anything though, I have found myself going back to those old, destructive eating patterns. I was at a a Weight Watchers meeting this  past weekend discussing the fact that I already know HOW to work the program, I just couldn't stay motivated to do so.  My leader told me for this week to do simply one thing. She said each time you are getting ready to eat something, ask yourself, "Is this the best food choice I can be making at this time?" I've found this to be quite  helpful, as I am holding myself accountable for my choices. It's easy to turn a blind eye to what I'm eating at the moment and act as if it doesn't matter. But, I know better. I know the truth. So this week, I'm asking myself that simple question, and I AM making better choices. I look forward to seeing a weight loss at my next meeting. It may be as little as a half a pound, but that's okay. I appreciate knowing that there are those people out there willing to offer a kind word and the help you need.

The Hamster Wheel

The hamster wheel. A friend of mine posted the other day about how busy her life had become. Inspite of it, she expressed gratitude in the wake of a serious health crisis a few years before. I thought about her words and agreed that the glass half full was the best way to approach life. However, I began to wonder about the reality of the hamster wheel. You see a hamster wheel keeps going faster and faster, but it really doesn't get you anywhere, but tired. I realized how easy it is to just jump on board and begin the trek. It made me wonder if there was a different way? Was everything so important that nothing took priority? Is modern day living just one massive to-do list? I've started working again, and although it is not full time, it is sizably more than what I was doing before. My comfortable life of routine and structure has been tilted and I'm having to adjust to fewer hours to get things done. However, it really has me questioning the importance of all the "stuff" I once deemed so necessary. Maybe it's time to get off the hamster wheel and approach life a little differently. I think busyness is kind of like a reptile that grows to the size of its cage. I can always think of one more thing to do if I allow myself.

Ambiguity

Ambiguity. The other day I was walking down the hall at my school and I saw a sign that caught my eye. "Be able to accept ambiguity." Now I wondered how this could be a good thing? The definition of ambiguity is uncertainty. How can uncertainty be beneficial. Isn't it better to be certain, and confident in what we already know? However, my school has taken on the the concept of having a growth mindset over a fixed one. If you are resistant to ambiguity you might not allow yourself the opportunity to consider something new or different. It is easy for me to want certainty in my thinking. But I want to consider embracing some ambiguity in my life; allowing myself to be open to possibilities. Businessman Roger Von Oech says it well, "Take advantage of the ambiguity in the world. Look at something and think what else it might be."

Don't Know

Don't know. I heard an interesting statement the other day. "You don't know what you don't know." It hit me how true this was. Nine months ago I began the process of investigating the concept of assisted living. I knew nothing. Every step along the way was something new for me. Fortunately, I found that there is a community of people all willing to share with you their expertise. You will find along the way that you are not alone. Now this has been an invaluable lesson for me, because up until this point in my life I was reluctant to ask for help. But since then I have reached out to others for help in other areas. With the technological help of a friend I was able to participate in the blogging challenge I did last month. Prior to this I probably would have not participated because I didn't know how. More than anything I have learned that it is okay to not know what you don't know. You aren't expected to know it all, and there will always be someone willing to help; you just have to ask.

Disappointment

Disappointment. Olympic champion David Rudisha believes, "Sometimes when you get disappointment it makes you stronger." I tend to agree. Although, no one likes disappointment it is part of life. Those disappointments, and the way we respond to them shape us. My concern though, is that as a culture we seem to want to shield our children from disappointment. We want to orchestrate "perfect" lives for our children that result only in happiness. The hardest thing to do as a parent is to allow natural consequences that might result in disappointment. But, oh what an amazing lesson we can teach our children. Learning to try again, learning to get past hurts, learning to take responsibility for actions will all guide our children to deal with the disappointments of adult life. Protecting them from the hurt leaves them powerless to cope. Let your children know that you are there to love and support them through the disappointments of life, but don't deny them the opportunity to grow into healthy adults.

Open Doors

Open doors. Ralph Waldo Emerson advised,  "Be an opener of doors." I like to consider myself a door opener. I'm always on the look out for the next challenge; the next new thing. I'm not content to rest on my past accomplishments. I find life to be much more exciting when I'm opening the door to something new. Now the paradox here is that sometimes my need for perfection has held that door at bay, as I've hesitated to push through. However, I can't think of a single time that I regretted taking the risk. Now this  doesn't mean that everything always turned out the way I had anticipated. In fact, often times it was the exact opposite. But, what I gained from the experience always made it worth my while. Think about the doors you come across in your own life. Have the courage to turn the knob, because living a life behind closed doors is not really a life.

Anticipation

Anticipation. About a week ago I had the pleasure of sitting in the nursery of my soon to be born grandson.  As I looked around, I saw that my daughter and son-in-law had lovingly taken care of every detail in preparation for his birth. His room was decorated in a western style so typical of his daddy. They had handcrafted his changing table, the shelves above it, and had even made a sign with his name written in rope. His toy box was brimming, his closet packed with clothes of every size, and his book collection growing. The excitement of meeting him, and getting to know him increases each day. Loving him is already a given, but loving him more is eagerly anticipated. There is something extra special about that first born child; that first grandchild. I've lived vicariously through the grandchildren of my friends, and can't wait to join the club. Welcome little one!