A Trip Down Memory Lane

A trip down Memory Lane. 

Chuck and I took a little trip down Memory Lane this past Saturday. We visited our childhood homes in Oak Cliff. 

I had driven past my old house many times before, and unfortunately knew that it wasn’t in the best of shape, although the neighborhood itself had remained quite nice. 

This time, though, I did something a little different. I had just attended a service at the National Cemetery for my childhood friend’s parents the day before, and her house, unlike mine looked great. 

I asked Chuck to stop the car so I could get out and snap a picture. She no longer lives in Texas, and I wasn’t sure if she has ever returned to the old neighborhood.

I jumped out of the car, and took a few pictures, and then turned around to walk back to my car. 

As I made my way down the street heading away from her house and closer to mine I had the strangest sensation. This was a section of the road that I had walked countless times as a young teen. 

Except, it had been close to fifty years since my feet had actually touched that same spot. I’d driven by many times, but I had never stopped. 

For an instant I was transported back to my childhood. I found myself near tears as I climbed back into the car. 

I really couldn’t put into words exactly what I was feeling, and even now I struggle to do so. That very piece of road had been walked many times by me between her house and mine. It was almost like I was thirteen year old girl again, except now I knew everything that would happen in the next fifty years. 

As we rounded the corner I had Chuck stop the car one more time at the home of another neighborhood friend. Another memory came flooding back as I remembered the hours we had spent sitting on the stone wall in front of her house trying to figure out the world. 

That wall still remained, and it felt good to sit there again. 

Getting Finished

Getting finished. 

“Do not plan for ventures before finishing what’s at hand.”

Euripides

Yesterday I posted about my difficulty in getting started. I found that some of my friends agreed, while others reported that starting was never the problem, rather finishing was. 

One of my very talented friends is always coming up with something new to tackle, but struggles to complete what she starts. She said, “So here I sit with a plethora of half finished projects.”

In reading this it reminded me of something I had read in Gretchen Rubin’s book about habits, Better Than Before. She asks the question, “Are you an opener or a finisher?”

Some people are naturally inclined to get started, and don’t hesitate to begin a new project. Unfortunately, they may lose steam half-way through, or find themselves bored and ready to start the next new thing. Unlike the finisher their tolerance for risk may be greater, but their discipline to finish might not be as strong. 

You might find that those who struggle to start, actually have very little trouble finishing once they get started. Finishers may have more of a need to see things come to a conclusion. 

What I have learned over the years is that self-knowledge can be a catalyst to change if you want it to be. This doesn’t mean that you can change completely, and nor should you. However, if you know that you are not a finisher by nature, and want to complete more of what you start, then you might want to be more aware of this as you begin something new. 

Not everything that has been started necessarily has to be finished, however, it’s kind of a shame if something really deserving never reaches that stage. 

Opener or finisher there seems to be room for both.

Getting Started

Getting started.

Why is it that sometimes the hardest part of accomplishing something is just getting started?

Mark Twain advised, “The secret to getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex, overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting the first one.”

I know for me I am often reluctant to start something because I’m either not sure exactly where to start or I’m not guaranteed success at the end. 

Both of these excuses have stood in the way over the years of me achieving things I’ve wanted. 

I’m really good at gathering information. I can spend weeks, months, even years contemplating the best way to do something. 

Unfortunately, when you never get started you never get finished.

I like the idea of breaking things down into manageable chunks. It’s the whole how do you eat an elephant question. One bite at a time. 

Just last week I was reminded at how fleeting life can be, and how we really shouldn’t waste any time not getting started. If there is something you have been wanting to do what small step can you take today to make it a reality?

The Habit Loop

The habit loop.

What if I were to tell you that “falling off the wagon” so to speak when it comes to your habits is pretty predictable?

Habits form in a loop, and when you consider some of the habits you have  tried to implement you might see yourself somewhere on this continuum. 

Based on the research of Prochaska, DiClemente, and later Norcross the following seems to be true when it comes to habits. Habits follow a sequential order as we see behaviors changing. 

We begin first in a Precontemplation stage where we really don’t see ourselves doing anything to change. We are just not ready at this moment to forge ahead, and are unmotivated to do anything different. 

The next stage is Contemplationwhere we are beginning to be ready to make a change. We might not do it today, but we can see ourselves changing sometime in the future. We are not quite ready to commit, but we are warming up to the idea. 

Preparation follows next as we are ready to start taking action on the changes we want to make in our life. This reminds me of the week after Christmas as you rev up to get that gym membership to start the new year. 

This is immediately followed by Action where you begin some sort of noticeable changes in your behavior in an attempt to achieve your goal. You may begin running in the morning, or bringing a healthy lunch to work. It is at this point that you begin to notice some changes. 

Action is eventually followed by Maintenance, where people are attempting to maintain the good habits they have worked so hard to achieve. It is during this time frame that they hope not to relapse. 

Unfortunately, because it is a loop you are probably only going to be able to maintain between six months to five years. But not to be discouraged...

After several “wagon falls” I’ve learned a few things:

Don’t be so hard on yourself, you are probably going to miss the mark here and there, but that’s not the end of the world. 

Don’t allow yourself a “finish line.” Just because you have reached your goal weight doesn’t mean your journey is over.

Luckily, the research shows that the longer you have experienced the ebb and flow of the loop, the shorter the distance from relapse to action the next time. In other words, just get back up on that horse, and continue on.

See how the habit loop works in your life, and determine which stage of change you are in. 

“Don’t count your loses, count your lessons. “

John C. Maxwell

“Cat-ccessory”

“Cat-ccessory:

A thing, usually a cat, which can be added to something else to make it more versatile kind of like a purse. 

It has become evident that my youngest grandson, even at nineteen months, has a real affinity for cats.

Each time he visited the home of a family friend he would constantly want to hold their cats. Now luckily for him, most of them didn’t mind being held upside down. 

When the opportunity came for his family to get their own kitten, you can only image how happy the cat person of the family was. 

The youngest is “purrfectly” content to tuck the little kitty under his arm and carry him around kind of like a “cat-ccessory” to quote my daughter.  He goes about his business while the cat is perfectly fine being held safely under the armpit of the youngest. 

In fact, the kitten goes out of his way to be with my grandson. He seems to have chosen him as his person, and their mutual admiration for each other is obvious. 

Ironically, the little feline was aptly named Tuffy by the three year old, and I’m thinking in order to survive the attention of the youngest he’s probably going to have to live up to his name! 

Adventure

Adventure.

“Life is a great adventure...accept it in such a spirit.”

Theodore Roosevelt

One of the definitions of adventure is “the exploration of unknown territory.”

I thought I might go on a little adventure the other day to check out an independent bookstore in a nearby town that I had been wanting to visit. 

It just so happened to be in a town that I had once lived in back in my single days so I thought I might kill two birds with one stone by taking a trip down memory lane. 

As I made my way past my old apartments I couldn’t help, but notice how unfamiliar everything looked. Even the elementary school next door had somehow morphed into a two story monstrosity. When did that happen?

As I made my way toward the bookstore I couldn’t help but be reminded about how much I had enjoyed living in that town years before. I’m never good with change when it comes to the places I’ve lived. I always expect them to somehow be the same, but they never are. 

I located the bookstore, and was quite charmed by the outside appearance. A trickling water feature, a trellised arbor, and outdoor seating made a perfect reading nook for its customers. 

Unfortunately, when I stepped into the tiny indoor space I was disappointed in what I found. I’m sure the coffee is probably quite good, but I had intended to focus more upon the books as I had already had a cup earlier that morning. 

It was somewhat anticlimactic to find only one shelf of books on the back wall. It was also almost impossible to check out all the books because someone was seated at one of the tables wedged into the small space, and was blocking my way. 

I was excited to see, though, that my neighbor’s books were featured on one of the shelves. She is an Indie author who had done an author talk there earlier in the month.

Unfortunately, I was out of town at the time, and was unable to attend. 

I didn’t stay long, and was a little disappointed that my adventure had kind of fizzled out, but I realized that life sometimes works that way. 

Not everything we attempt to do ends up being amazing, and yet that should never be a reason to hold us back from trying new things or visiting new places. 

Next time, I might need to plan to buy a cup of coffee, and bring something to read in the lovely, little outside nook. 

I’m including some information about my neighbor Tabi, and about the coffee shop Black and Bitter below:

https://www.tabislick.com/p/home.html

https://www.blackandbitter.com

I’m Just Talking to Noodles

I’m just talking to Noodles. 

Chuck and I had the great pleasure of hosting our three year old grandson last weekend as he spent the night with us for two nights. 

As we hung out together I couldn’t help, but be reminded of a time gone by when our daughter was three. I must admit being a parent was always the happiest time of my life, and I do miss those days. 

What I’ve discovered, though, is that parenting is pretty easy with only one child, and I am in constant amazement at what a good job my daughter does with her two boys, which defiantly raises it up a notch. 

 After the weekend the plan was that I would meet her and my youngest grandson at a halfway point to drop off the oldest. 

He was happily watching a show about trucks on his Amazon Fire in the backseat, while I was listening to the president on the radio. 

It was then that I heard a quiet voice coming from the back seat. I turned down the radio to ask my grandson if he was talking to me?

His response was priceless, and warmed my Mimi heart to no end. 

“No, I’m talking to Noodles,” he said. 

Now Noodles is his little stuffed horse that my daughter had given him  when his pacifier somehow got “broken.” Since then he and Noodles have become best buddies. 

In fact, Noodles has become real to him, and for a horse he seems to have his own opinions about most everything. 

As I listened in, it was apparent that my grandson was giving Noodles a play by play of everything he was seeing along the way to meet his Mom. Tall buildings, excavators, and cranes were all a delight to the boy and his tiny horse. 

Now for me, I must say that it was such a special moment, primarily because beyond being so sweet, I knew how fleeting it was. 

A few years from now Noodles will probably be packed away, and my grandson too old to share the delight of the world around him with a tiny, stuffed horse. 

I’m so glad I was paying attention to that small, quiet voice that found its way into my heart. 

I know when you are in the trenches of parenthood it’s easy to get distracted, but treasure those special moments that all too soon will be gone.