Future

Future. 

It's not often in a day's time you notice the same thing three times. Yesterday was one of those days. 

First at the doctor's office, then at the post office, and finally at a local restaurant.  All three times involved a woman in her seventies struggling to walk. It pained me to see how limited they were in their ability to get around. Something I just take for granted. 

If I needed a nudge to stay physically active this was it. It also confirmed that I needed to be more proactive in doing so. I've done some walking in the evening with Chuck and Cooper, but I need to get more into a routine. 

I don't want to become complacent, and find myself struggling to get around in my seventies. If I can do something today to help craft a better future then I'm all in. 

I'm hoping to remain as physically active as I can for as long as I can. You know what they say about a body in motion staying in motion. So each step today hopefully leads to future steps. 

Downloading a Different Browser

Downloading a different browser. 

Adam Grant, author of Originals, writes about a group of customer service employees all working for the same company. Their employment status was followed over a period of time trying to determine who was most successful and fulfilled in their job. 

As it turned out their success had to do with the internet browser they used. You see most people just stuck with the default browser that was already programmed into their computer. They never once questioned changing it. They basically just went along with what they had been given. 

On the other hand, a small percentage changed their browser. In doing so they showed initiative, and a level of resourcefulness that the others had not. These people by taking control over one small aspect of their job went on to find more satisfaction than their co-workers. 

Grant states, " We live in an Internet Explorer world." " ...many of us accept the defaults in our own lives." The less freedom and control that we are allowed in our job can set the tone for a disconnect, and a lack of initiative.

Add to this the tendency toward false choices, and we can limit our options down to only two. You know one or the other.  My natural inclination, my default, is not to think outside the box very often. I am guilty of thinking only in one way. 

However, the paradox here is that in many ways I do consider myself a creative person. It's just that as I've written before the status quo keeps calling my name. It's not my default to look at things in a different way.  However, I'm thinking that it may be time to check my browser. 

"The hallmark of originality is rejecting the default and exploring whether better options exists."

Adam Grant

Mixed Messages

Mixed messages. 

Cooper, my poodle, turned five yesterday, and along with a bag full of treats, and a new backyard tennis ball, he got a new bowl. His old bowl was a gift from my daughter, and he had used it for the last five years. Unfortunately, I dropped it on the ceramic tile at our last house, and chipped it on both sides. 

When I was washing the new bowl for the first time I peeled off the label, and read that it should not be used in the microwave. When I looked at the back of the actual bowl it clearly stated that the bowl was microwave safe. 

Hmmm... I wonder which one I should believe? I guess the good thing is that Cooper eats dry kibbles that have no need of being heated. Except, that when you are given mixed messages you really don't know what to believe. 

This happens a lot on the news. You watch one channel and they're telling you one thing and insisting that it is the truth. Then you change the channel, and you are getting a whole different story. Can they both be right? I highly doubt it. 

Opinions are one thing, but facts should be constant. I've written before about this need for truth that I seem to have. It's hard to base decisions on what you think or hope to be true only to find out that it was wrong all along. 

Cheese Moving

Cheese moving. 

I remember the first time I had that uncomfortable feeling about my school district beginning to grow. It was in the late nineties, and I was at a district-wide meeting. Since we had opened a new elementary school I no longer knew everyone. 

Someone asked a question about why we did something a certain way, and I spoke out to offer an explanation. It was then that I realized that many in attendance at the meeting had no idea who I was. They had never taught with me, or had met me before, and I could tell my explanation was met with some resistance. 

It was at that moment that I felt a shift in what had been known and comfortable. My once little district was showing its first signs of growing pains. I left that meeting feeling a sadness over what had been, and what would never be the same again. 

Today nine years into retirement my once little school district is unrecognizable. Even attending a retired teachers meeting finds fewer and fewer familiar faces. I like many find change uncomfortable, but it is inevitable.

When I left that meeting years ago I came across the book, Who Moved My Cheese, by Spencer Johnson.  It was an analogy about mice and cheese, and how those who don't move along with the times get left behind. After reading it, I realized that resisting the change would do me no good in the long run. 

It took a while for me to adjust, but I learned a valuable lesson that day. In life things will not remain the same, but how I deal with that change is really up to me, and can make all the difference in my happiness. 

Indoor Generation

The Indoor Generation. 

I was shocked the other day after reading that most people in the United States spend approximately 90% of their time indoors. In fact, the term Indoor Generation has been coined to describe this phenomena.

In an article by Stephanie Wilson she writes about our "detachment from the natural world-and natural sunlight, specifically." This lack of outdoor time can lead to Seasonal Affective Disorder, poor air quality, and a disruption of the natural sleep cycle. Who knew that sleep was actually tied to natural light exposure?

Along these same lines, I also read more about something called grounding or earthing. Remarkably our immune system is strengthened through walking barefoot on soil or grass. 

In an article written by a Dr. Mercola he explains how making contact with the earth allows for 

the release of electrons which provide the body with antioxidants to help prevent inflammation. 

This got me to thinking about how little time I actually spend outdoors. At the apartment it was easy to get outside daily because of the convenience of the lake. As they finish up the construction in my neighborhood I don't find myself outside walking much, and add to that the heat of summer, getting out regularly has become more of a challenge. 

Already our unseasonably warm spring has kept my windows closed, and my air conditioning running. The other day my daughter and I had plans to take the boys to the park when we were alerted by a highway sign that it was an orange ozone alert day. We questioned whether we should be getting out?

Walking barefoot is something I rarely do except at the beach. My feet, or even my hands don't make contact often enough with dirt, as my green thumb pales in comparison to many of my friends. However, after learning more about the indoor generation I wasn't sure I wanted to be a member. 

I've always responded well to the outdoors, and find my spirits lifted by the smell of fresh air. I enjoy sitting out in the morning, and patio dining whenever possible. Opening a window or two usually results in a more motivated me. 

Along with the commonly recommended habits of good health, like diet, exercise and sleep, maybe finding a way to connect more with the outside world can have health benefits as well. 

Outgrown

Outgrown. 

When I think about outgrowing something my high school drill team uniform and prom dress come to mind. Something that once fit, but no longer does.  

However, this idea of outgrowing doesn't just have to revolve around your wardrobe. Are their old beliefs you have about yourself that no longer ring true?  Perhaps you have outgrown your past insecurities, and should not allow them to hang around like an old stretched out sweater. 

Sometimes you can't see past these limiting beliefs because they once played such an important role in how you defined yourself. Allowing something you have outgrown to linger prevents you from moving on to something else. 

Elizabeth Berg in her novel Tapestry of Fortune reminds us of this when she writes, "Otherwise, you'll stay in the place you've outgrown." Now this place can be a physical place, but more importantly it might be a state of mind. We may remain too long in either just because of familiarity.

For years each time I entered a bookstore or library I would head to the self-help section looking for that "perfect" book that would change my life. I must have read hundreds of books over the years, and to be honest, I can't tell you that any one of them really made that big of a difference. 

What I've found today is that I've outgrown the self-help section. Experience and self-reflection have allowed me to feel comfortable with the person I am. Clinging to the old patterns of always looking for self-help is no longer something I need to do. 

Perhaps you have been guilty of staying too long in a job or in a home, even though you knew it was time to move on. This may be due to the fact that you have outgrown them, and would benefit from the challenge of the next new experience. Except, often times we refuse to make this change out of fear of the unknown. 

It's probably not a bad idea to periodically assess what you have been holding onto, and allowing yourself to shed the things you've outgrown. Just like cleaning out your closet can result in a wardrobe of clothes that fit and flatter, a life filled with beliefs and actions that fit can make for a more fulfilling life. 

Stress Alternative

Stress alternative. 

I'm subscribing to the old fashioned paper again,  and have found myself enjoying reading it in the morning. Maybe, not so much the hard news, but more the human interest stories. I began reading an article by Leslie Barker entitled, 10 Ways to Stress Less, assuming it would be more of the same about how to handle stress. 

You know, things like exercise, healthy eating, meditation or even massage, but I came across something I had never considered before. We know that life can be stressful, but for some of us living in a perpetual state of low grade stress may be the result of trying to control every facet of life. 

She suggested "Questioning the validity," of your stress. She writes, "Will this matter in six months or even one month? Probably not. Life is sooo short."

Wow!  How incredibly simple is this advice?  Rather than try to add the stress of healthy eating, daily exercise, and time for peaceful "me" time, why not just ask one simple question?

Very FEW things are so important that they warrant the effects that stress plays on your body and immune system. When I think back to three years ago when I was sick for five months due to my compromised immune system, it made me realize that I was never getting that time back. 

I had worked so hard to be the "perfect daughter" trying to meet the needs of both my father and step-mother, and it was killing me. My mental health was balancing precariously, and my physical health had taken a nose dive. 

If I could have stopped to question the validity of all my worry, and incessant need for control, I could have answered a resounding NO!  I wish I had backed away enough to get a clearer perspective.

When you find yourself in a stressful situation, there's nothing wrong with the tried and true remedies, but don't forget to reassess whether in the long run will it make that big of a difference? If it won't then let it go. 

Our Common Condition

Our common condition. 

I was getting lunch yesterday at Taco Bueno when I overheard a conversation between the cashier and the woman responsible for putting the order together. Apparently it was the second time the cashier had made a mistake in keying the order into the register. 

She apologized, and made a self-deprecating remark about her intelligence. She laughed it off, and went on to take the next order. She again made the remark to her next customer. He assured her it was fine, because he too had done something just as "dumb" earlier in the day. 

I thought it was interesting how for some working to give the illusion of perfection almost becomes an art form, when in reality we seem to relate better to each other through our common failings. This man was showing true empathy for a woman who clearly was embarrassed, by her shortcomings.

It made me realize that I probably didn't need to work so hard to have the appearance of having it all together. It's not that we love someone despite their imperfections, rather it is because of them. All those traits, both good and bad make that person who they are. 

Looking for the good in others, and encouraging them when they fall short really connects us through our common condition. Who thought a bean burrito would come with a side of wisdom?

Mistakes

Mistakes.

Gretchen Rubin in her Best Advice for Graduates posting reminds us that everyone makes mistakes, and no one is spared. She writes, "Everyone makes mistakes; it's inevitable."

As I look back over the years since I graduated from both high school and college I think perhaps my biggest mistake was having no real direction. Rubin has written about drift,and I see how clearly that played a role in my life, especially as a young adult. 

Drifting through my twenties, as if I had all the time in the world, is something I do regret. That decade was a time in my life that I took very little control over. It's amazing how it can all go by so quickly when you are not paying attention. 

My unsolicited advice to those just starting out is to not let that happen. Certain things, like biological clocks, have a way of getting away from you if you are not careful. Thinking there will always be plenty of time to do the things you want to do may not actually be a reality. 

My not so great knee will probably mean I'll never visit Machu Picchu, although, I'm proud to say that one of my former Social Studies students has crossed it off her bucket list. Don't wait too long to do the things you really want to, because one day you might not be able to. 

Mistakes will be inevitable, but paying closer attention might not make them so major. 

 

The Good Old Days?

The good old days?

Recently a friend of mine from high school posted on Face Book about how today's generation struggles to read an anolog clock. Sheepishly, I had to admit that I had missed the boat on insisting that my daughter become proficient in this particular skill.

Digital seemed to work just fine for her, and life went on. My friend's point was that as parents we should make sure that our kids know how to tell time both ways. I whole-heartedly agreed with him, until I read another comment in response to his posting. 

Another friend of his pointed out that among other things he didn't know how to "hitch up a mule, prime a pump or read a sexton." His reasoning, of course, was that in 2018 he had no need to do so. What was required even fifty years ago is no longer needed, and although knowing how to do it might be more of a novelty, will it actually affect day to day life?

For the majority of my life I wore a wrist watch, an anolog watch at that, often times embellished with of all things Roman numerals. Today I wear a Fit Bit, and most of the time I check my phone to see what time it is. I can adjust my thermostat using an app, and can talk to the person ringing my doorbell while grocery shopping. 

I never want to discount the good old days, because I think we can always glean from our past, but I wonder if we need to be more discriminating about what we keep, and what we choose to let go?  Challenging ourselves to keep up with current technology might be something to aspire to as we age. 

For me, though, I still choose to have an anolog clock in my kitchen, because I like the visual it gives me when needing to know how much time I have before I have to leave. I don't have a problem with it still being taught in schools, but it might be left up to each individual as to whether they use it or not. 

Envious

Envious. 

The textbook definition of envy is, "a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck." Generally envy is frowned upon, but should it be? 

By not admitting feeling envious we might be missing out on a more fulfilled life. It was Gretchen Rubin who brought this idea to life for me. She states, "...negative emotions play a very important role in a happy life, because they warn us that something needs to change." Rather than feeling bad about envy, maybe we should pay closer attention to those feelings as a catalyst toward action. 

If all we do is stew in our unhappiness then clinging to envy will not serve us well. I remember one July morning several summers ago opening up Face Book and seeing a picture of a friend of mine, who like me, had to work to keep her weight in check. She looked like a million bucks, and somehow I had allowed my weight to increase by thirty pounds. 

I must admit feeling envious, but I was literally at Weight Watchers that day, and five months later was back to a healthy weight. I could have jumped on the pity wagon wallowing in my envy or use her success as my springboard for change. Start paying more attention when your envy radar perks up. What is missing from your own life, and what can you do to make it different?

What I find myself envying, and what you envy may be completely different, but rather than feeling bad about it explore what your envious feelings might be telling you. Some things you might just brush off as not really important, but on the other hand it might just be a wake-up call. 

Wasted Time

Wasted time. 

I came across this quote the other day by author Marthe Troly-Curtin, "Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time."

Once I wrote about feeling guilty about wasting time. I had the idea that time should be used productively, because it was after all a limited resource. A friend of mine, however felt differently, and made a comment about how he didn't believe in wasted time. 

To be honest, I didn't agree then, but today I'm thinking he was on to something.  Perhaps, it had to do with the whole older and wiser thing, because he did have a few years on me, and had been retired for several years. 

Today I'm learning how to spend my time not being so concerned about how actually productive it is. If I am spending time doing something I enjoy, then I see a value to it.  

For some always being productive is second nature, but I've known since I was a young teen that wasnt me. Given the choice between a part-time job, and more clothes, I'd pick time to read, and just enough clothes every time. 

Sitting out on the back porch, catching up on a favorite tv show, and listening to some seventies music might be considered a waste of time by some, but like Troly-Curtin reminds us, if we are enjoying it perhaps it's not a waste after all. 

What time are you wasting? 

Bombas

Bombas. 

One of my Mother's Day gifts this year was socks. Now I know what you are thinking, who asks for socks for Mother's Day?  Except, these weren't any old socks, no they were Bombas socks. 

Bombas socks caught my eye earlier this year when I learned more about their company. Its founders were in the market to start a business, and by happenstance learned that socks were the most requested item at homeless shelters. Using the Tom's Shoes model they decided to donate a pair for each pair sold. They also decided to create the best socks ever. Fast forward about three years, and they have sold and donated over a million socks. 

For me their colorful look is what turned my head. Of course, the donation part was pretty cool, too. The only drawback for me was their cost. You see I'm basically frugal when it comes to the basics, or perhaps to be even more transparent I'm cheap, and just couldn't bring myself to spend around $10.00 a pair. 

That's where Mother's Day came in. A gift is completely different than a necessary purchase. The higher cost didn't seem so outrageous then. It was kind of like the time I asked for a block of Parmigiana Regiano as a stocking stuffer. It's $11.00 dollar cost just didn't quite fit into my grocery budget.  So much to the chagrin of my husband, I put in an order for socks. 

As I opened the packaging outside the post office I couldn't help, but be filled with glee at their sheer beauty. Not only that, but they felt luxurious as well. I couldn't wait to get home to try on a pair. I must say I have fallen in love, and am gazing adoringly upon them as I write. 

Sometimes you just have to let go of practicality and splurge a little bit. Of course, if you can do this in the confines of a gift, you can eliminate guilt altogether!

Angry Bird

Angry Bird. 

I felt like I was living through an Angry Bird video game this Saturday when I was awakened well before seven by a very persistent Cardinal repeatedly dive bombing my window. For some mistaken reason, I thought when visiting my daughter's country home the only possible early alarm might be an itinerant rooster, but I was wrong. 

Come to find out Cardinals are very territorial especially during mating season, and when they catch their reflection in a window or car mirror they attack. Not only has the bedroom window been a victim, but you should see my poor daughter's car. 

Apparently after the nest is made, and the eggs are laid the relentless male can chill a little, and not fear encroachment on his woman and future family.  However, this relentless bird has made life around their home less than pleasant.

 Up until this weekend I didn't know there was a dark side to these beautiful birds. Most of the time I'm trying to figure out which deceased family member they are representing. For the life of me I was clueless as to who this crazed bird might be. 

Luckily, he must have taken pity on me on Sunday morning as he never once made a peep, or I should say peck at my bedroom window. Perhaps, he had a soft spot for his own mother, and just wanted to wish me a Happy Mother's Day!

Shifting

Shifting.  

When I was twenty-one and entering my senior year of college, I had my whole life planned out. 

I would marry the boy I was dating after I graduated in May. I would teach for two years, and then have the first of our four children, and I would be a stay-at-home mom, and never teach again. Of course, my mother would be there to help me plan my long dreamed about wedding which would be held in the chapel of our church. Life looked pretty grand through my rose colored glasses. 

As it turned out a few months later I broke up with my boyfriend, and would not get married until eight years later. I was unable to secure a teaching position, and was grateful to accept teaching half day while  working at a shoe store at the local mall. My mother passed away before the end of the year after a three month battle with cancer, and my teaching career spanned over thirty years. My large family of four children ended up being only one child. 

It's interesting how sometimes you think you have it all figured out when it comes to the future, when in reality how could you?  To be honest, my twenties were some of the most challenging times of my life. I just couldn't understand why I didn't seem to be getting a break? Love seemed to be just beyond my grasp, teaching was now becoming a career, I missed my mother desperately, and the family I so longed for seemed an impossibility. 

Things don't always work out the way that you have planned, but that's not always a bad thing. Disappointment and sadness is part of life, but that doesn't mean there isn't room for all the good things, as well. As I look back over the last thirty years I feel quite blessed as to how things actually turned out. 

Author Pema Chodron in a commencement speech about failing states, "It's a little hard to tell what's a failure and what's just something that is shifting your life in a whole new direction."

As I look back over those challenging years that appeared to be one failure after another, I realize now that they were just "shifting my life" into an even better direction. If I could give advice to that young woman of my twenties it would be to just hang on. Embrace the good, and there was plenty, and know that things have a way of working out as they should. 

Life is an Adventure

Life is an adventure. 

A former co-worker of mine posted that her husband was leaving a career in law enforcement that spanned thirty-one years for a new position in the corporate world. She said it was an opportunity he could not pass by. 

It got me to thinking about how often people don't take that next step out of fear of the unknown. For some reason clinging to the known trumps even the good that the unknown might bring. 

Now what I've learned along the way is that moving to that next stage usually includes a period of transition. What that entails is allowing yourself to feel some discomfort. Although, not always pleasant at the moment, discomfort generally results in growth. Kind of like those growing pains you may have felt in your legs as a child. 

I don't like to lock myself into any one thing in life, because you never know what adventure is right around the corner. I've made a few choices in my life that I ended up not liking, but inevitably I came away always knowing more. I think about how if I had never taken the risk how much I would have missed.

At my age it's easy to think that staying settled is the best thing. I can't help but think that shaking things up a little bit is more fun, because after all life really is an adventure. 

Why Not Fail?

Why not fail?

I'm reading about failing, and the value it can bring to your life. Although, on a purely head level I can agree, my heart just doesn't seem to want to concur.

Author Pema Chodron writes in her commencement speech, Fail Fail Again Fail Better, that when we fail, "we feel really bad about ourselves and label ourselves "a failure." We have this feeling that there is something fundamentally wrong with us..."

I don't remember my parents insisting on me always winning, but I think I learned early on that when you did you got praised, and it felt good. When you failed or messed up sometimes you got punished, and that didn't feel so good. Embarrassment and humiliation were emotions to be avoided. 

By the time I was late elementary age I think I'd figured it out. Couple that with being a first born, and you had the perfect storm for perfectionist. What you learned is to stick to the things you do well, and not to venture too far off the beaten path.  

Honor rolls and accolades became my oxygen. Pleasing my parents and later the parents of my students were all important. Making sure to NEVER do anything wrong was all encompassing. If perchance I did fail it would pretty much be guaranteed I wouldn't try it again. I guess it just wasn't my thing. 

Except, I can't help but wonder what might have been different in my life if I had been encouraged to fail; celebrated for the beginning efforts and lauded for the progression of those attempts? As much as I think I'd like to try this approach, I'm beginning to wonder if the old dog mentality won't allow for this new trick?

Is it really possible to be okay with failure or are you just faking it hoping everyone will go along with your defeats? Gretchen Rubin likes to write about the "fun of failure" but for some reason it just doesn't seem to ring true to me. 

Perhaps if I begin with some low stake endeavors I might be able to ease into this "failing again, and better" thing. Ironically, I seem to be failing at the very art of failure embracement. Geez!

We Meet Again

We meet again. 

Yesterday I had the opportunity to reunite with some of my former second graders who are graduating seniors this year. In preparation for the event I pulled out their class picture, and began a walk down memory lane. 

I remember as a whole the class was a very sweet group of children. Some faces brought back more memories than others, but I couldn't help but laugh when I remembered one of my boys bringing in an anatomy book from home, and warning me about the "inappropriate" pages. 

It was wonderful catching up with each former student as they talked about their plans for the future. One was playing football in Colorado, while two of my sweet girls were planning on being teachers, a couple of the boys were studying engineering, and another girl had plans to become an interior designer. 

I even had one girl thank me for teaching her cursive. Apparently she is one of the few who still uses it today, and really loves it. Not surprisingly she was one of the group that was going into education. Perhaps she'll be able to carry on the legacy. 

I remember my own high school graduation as a time of great promise as I entered the world of adulthood. I encouraged them all to enjoy their college days, but of course reminded them to apply themselves as well. They all seemed genuinely happy to be able to reconnect with the teachers who started them out on their academic career. 

Unfortunately, several students had moved on along the way, and were unable to attend. I had brought our class picture, and we had fun figuring out who was who, and what had happened to each one of them. 

Next year will be my last year to attend this event, as my last class will be graduating. I look forward to seeing them again, and hope there is a good turnout. Congratulations Class of 2018!

Another Move

Another move. 

Just when you thought we'd finally settled in we're moving again. No, it's not from our newly purchased home, but rather from the farm. So once again we are packing up, and making endless trips to Goodwill. 

The farm had basically become the dumping grounds for anything that we had upgraded at our last home. George Foreman grills, light weight silverware, an abundance of books, and knick-knacks galore all had accumulated at the farm, and was needing a day of reckoning.

Chuck and I have spent the last two Saturdays at the farm getting it ready to be on the market. Our son-in-law took the tractor to their property along with some fencing supplies. Chuck has mowed, edged, and hauled several loads of "stuff" back to the city. Some of it we will keep, but quite a bit was sold in the garage sale a few weeks back. 

I've decluttered and cleaned the inside, deciding what to keep, and what to send packing. It's definitely a job, and just like everything else we keep chipping away at it until it's done. Chuck did mention that we've basically done nothing but move for the last two years. Between our two moves, Chuck's work relocation, Brittany and Will's two moves, and now the farm we are pretty much over this whole moving thing. 

Our farm is a beautiful place, but after ten years, and Chuck's ever increasing stressful job it really has become too much. The fact that its location is east, and Brittany and Will are west also contributed to whether we really saw ourself wanting to retire there. Land may be in our future again, but it will be closer to the grandkids next time. 

Big Dreams

Big dreams.

I recently listened to a podcast by Ruth Soukup called Do It Scared. She talked about setting goals, something I am very familiar with, but her thinking was a little different from standard wisdom. 

Most advice I had read about goal setting was to keep them manageable and achievable. This actually makes sense, and I'm pretty good at these kinds of goals. However, Ruth talks about setting big goals. The kind of goals that don't even seem possible, and leave you running scared at the thought of them. 

She goes through a series of steps that include commitment and hard work, but her story alone shows that dreaming big can bring big results. She went from overspending to starting a blog which eventually allowed her husband to quit his job and stay home with their children. She has since gone on to write best selling books, create a blogging academy, and now to start a podcast all within the span of seven years. 

One of the things she addresses is how often we like to limit ourselves within the confines of the small space we have made for ourselves in the world. Ruth teaches, "Give yourself permission to dream big without self-editing and self-judgement." This piece of advice really hit home for me. 

I can't even count how many times I have quickly discounted an idea that pops into my head. Before you know it I have come up with a laundry list a mile long of why it would never work. To be honest, often times it has more to do with the time commitment, and effort involved that holds me back. 

Ironically, at this stage of my life I really have nothing but time. As a retiree I'm not locked into a job or family that takes up most of my time. I spend a lot of my time coming up with things to do to just pass the time. 

Her challenge to dream big has really got me to thinking about what my big dream might be? What about your big dream? To learn more you might want to check out her podcast Do It Scared.

The Birthday Month

The birthday month. 

Well apparently celebrating your birthday for an entire month is a real thing. It must be if when doing a Google search you find plenty of postings all instructing you how to stretch out your birthday for up to thirty-one days. 

It must be a real bummer to have a February birthday, and for those of us lucky enough to fall in the thirty-one day category a whole extra day to lavish our narcissistic selves. Aren't birthdays wonderful!

I do find it interesting, though, how EVERTHING seems to have gone to the extreme these days. Thanksgiving isn't quite enough on its own. Today you have to add in a Friendsgiving as well. Christmas can't be one day, but rather a twenty-four day Elf on the Shelf extravaganza. Halloween now requires parents to dress up as well when accompanying there little ghosts and goblins while trick-or-treating. 

Of course, not being an overly celebratory person or as it is more accurately called, a stick in the mud, might be why I seem to be struggling with all the revelry. 

My husband's aunt, a woman before her time, has always celebrated the first fifteen days leading up to her birthday, and secretly I've been a little envious. Of course, that might have more to do with the fact that I only have five days to celebrate before my own birthday, so the whole birthday month seems to appeal more and more. 

I guess I better get to work planning the thirty-one days of celebration since my birthday month is right around the corner.

Originals

Originals.

I think I was an original until about the age of twelve. I marched, danced and even sang to my own beat without a care in the world throughout my childhood. The world was my oyster, and my imagination never waned.  

What did me in was junior high or middle school as it is called today. One foot into its illustrious halls found me in a nonstop comparison with everyone I met, and I usually found myself lacking. As a result I spent most of my time trying to be just like the elusive "everyone else." Clothing, hairstyles, accessories, shoes, likes and dislikes were no longer my own. I'd make sure to check on what the popular crowd was doing, and follow suite. 

I've been reading the book, Originals, by Adam Grant, and finding myself regretful for not sticking to my own originality. Sometimes even today I question whether I really like something or not, or has it just become a part of the self I like to present to the world?

Grant writes,

Conformity means following the crowd down conventional paths and maintaining the status quo. Originality is taking the road less traveled, championing a set of novel ideas that go against the grain but ultimately make things better."

Grant also points out that a high need for achievement does not always foster originality because of its fear of failure. I know for a fact that I was always driven to achieve and valued the recognition of both peers and authorities.

Stepping out into the waters of non-conformity was just too great of a risk. I've found, though, that through my fifties, and now into my sixties I have begun to recapture the originality of my youth. My quirks and interests are something I've stopped making excuses for, and have accepted my authentic self more kindly. I think that is the gift that aging brings. 

"It's better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation."

Herman Melville

Tech-NO-logically Challenged

Tech-NO-logically challenged. 

I think I know what is going to send the Baby Boomer generation over the edge as they continue into their golden years-passwords and on-line accounts for EVERYTHING!

As I was setting up a few new on-line accounts for things like our HOA and security system it hit me that in about twenty years there would probably be no way I could keep up with this sort of thing.  

I couldn't help but wonder if an aging farmer of the 1950's had this problem as he wrote a few checks a month to cover the utility bills. Today with every account having an on-line component I just don't see how it will be possible to keep up with it all.

I find myself experiencing a low level of anxiety every time I have to set up something new. It's not that I can't actually do it, but more that I detest having to do it. I'm not really a detail person, and filling out forms of any kind is kind of like pulling teeth. 

I'm just afraid that my independence will be over sooner than later due to normal cognitive decline, and the high level of technology required. Let's just say, I was hoping to put off the need for a Jitterbug phone until at least my eighties, but I may have to acquiesce. I'll just keep my fingers crossed that some young whippersnapper comes up with an app for that, and I can hold on a little longer. 

I'm thinking for my generation it won't be a matter of taking the keys away since driverless cars will be the norm, but rather the computer so I don't accidentally give away the 401K!