Strong

Strong. 

The other day a baby Mockingbird was trapped in our backyard. Our eight foot fence made it impossible for him to get free. Or so I thought. 

My need to fix everything made we want to intercede. What could I do to make it easier for him? Open the gate to make an easier pathway? Try to catch him? 

What I actually did was nothing, except send a few encouraging words his way. The reality was that he would have to figure it out on his own. His ability to function in his world would be determined by how strong he was. 

At one point Mama bird landed on the fence, and chirped insistently for him to try again. Unfortunately, his feeble attempts only resulted in him flying half-way up the fence. He had landed on the screens and the protruding brick, but to no avail was he able to maneuver the height of the fence. 

I had pretty much resigned myself to an afternoon of loud Mama chirping, quiet baby chirping, and annoying dog barking when the most unexpected thing happened. All by himself he was somehow able to make it to the ledge at the top of the gate. A second later with a burst of strength he was atop the fence. Before I could even cheer he flew directly across the backyard to our neighbor's tree. 

It was then that I realized denying him his own victory through his strength and perseverance  would have been wrong. Had I interfered his confidence may have waned, and he may have given up. But, by allowing him the time to figure it out he was able to do the very thing he was created for; fly away on his own. 

To be truthful, I couldn't help but remember another not so lucky bird who found its way into our backyard. Let's just put it this way, the last thing I saw was its squirming feet making their way down the esaphagus of our Basset Hound Molly, while I was yelling, "Don't you do it!"

Dwell

Dwell. 

"Dwell in possibility," are the words of Emily Dickenson. Just the thought of this really is exciting to me. How many times do we allow ourselves to even consider the possibilities? Why are we quick to limit ourselves? 

Perhaps some of this is due to approaching life with a more pragmatic veiw. We look at what needs to be done and couple it with what should be done, and go from there. One of the best pieces of advice I've ever read had to do with false choices. We tend to think we only have two options most of the time. Of course, this is totally false. By dwelling in possibilities we are pushed to look for other options. 

Life becomes more interesting when we free ourselves to consider those options. Not being so quick to discount something might result in using our creativity to come up with a better plan.  Considering possibilities can also promote an attitude of what can be accomplished as opposed to what cannot. 

One way to accomplish this might be through brainstorming a list of ideas. The cardinal rule of brainstorming, though, is to not judge each idea as it is listed. Rather allow your mind to flow, and dwell in possibility. You might notice in reevaluating your list that you find something you had never considered before. 

When given a chance dwell in the possibilities. 

Initiative

Initiative. 

Sometimes we look around and find dissatisfaction with the way things are. We may find ourselves uncertain as to which direction we should turn. More times than not we let no decision be our decision. I've fallen prey before to doing nothing to change a situation that I was discontented with. 

Adam Grant, author of Originals, reminds us, "Remember that if you don't take initiative the status quo will persist." One definition of initiative is, "the power or opportunity to take charge." As I look back over my teaching career I am satisfied with the ease in which I would take initiative. I was always on the lookout for new things, and felt comfortable breaking away from the status quo. 

In my life I have found a certain amount of restlessness that has  resulted in my search for new ideas. I am quick to take the initiative to learn more about something, but unfortunately, I'm not always good about taking the action required for the follow-through. Being as confident in taking the initiative to change seems a little harder. However, sometimes the resulting status quo can cause a type of malaise resulting in just going through the motions on auto-pilot. 

So I try to remind myself to take the initiative so I don't deepen the depth of the rut. Although, it can be freeing to be the passenger and not have to take on the responsibility for the driving, when it comes to your life it is better to switch seats. 

Becoming Friends With Siri

Becoming friends with Siri. 

Siri and I have never been friends, in fact we barely know each other. My husband, on the other hand, considers her a close friend. He relys on her often when he has a question or is unsure where he might want to go for lunch. 

Why have I been so reluctant to make her acquaintance and ask her advice?

I suppose it has more to do with just not knowing her all that well. Although to be honest,  I usually am reluctant to ask anyone for help. I've asked a few embarrassing questions in my day and I'd rather not repeat the, "What does circumcision mean?" question I asked during jr. high Sunday school. 

But I've heard Siri really likes to answer questions. She must have been a teacher in a former life. You know the old there is no dumb question thing. I got to thinking about it the other day that I might be missing out on something not befriending her. After all she might be able to expand my knowledge of the world around me, and you know I'm always up for that. 

I had my chance the other day when I accidentally activated her while talking to myself. I know, pretty pitiful! But remarkably she actually attempted to make some sense out of my words. She was trying to answer my question and help me out. 

It was then I decided that I might be more open to a friendship. After all she is willing to help, and not overly pushy in insisting she has her own way. I even remember the time she answered my husband's question about the meaning of life. To quote her exactly she said, "It's all good!" Sounds like a friend I might want. 

Original

Original. 

Adam Grant, author of Originals writes, "Originality comes not from people who match the culture, but from those who enrich it."

I find it interesting how driven we are to match the culture. Whatever the trend of the day is becomes an all encompassing passion of the masses. Nothing is more relevant to this fact today than the whole Pokemon Go craze. 

I have been puzzled as to why some are so enticed by the culture, and others not so much. Young children are pretty much proud originals as they give little thought to what others think. Their style of dress, choice of superhero or Disney princess, and favorite color are theirs alone. Unfortunately, as we make our way through the grades we leave this sense of uniqueness behind, and seek a group of like-minded peers. We begin to dress, talk and think in a way that matches the group, instead of our true self. 

Now the irony of this is that no matter how hard we try to be just like everyone else, we really are a true original, right down to our DNA. Of the billions of people populating this earth 

you will never find someone just like you. Why instead of capitalizing on this do we seem content to hide our light under a bushel? Just think of all the cultural enrichment we could share with the world. Be unique, be thoughtful, be original. 

An Inch

An inch. 

You've heard the expression, "Give an inch, they'll take a mile." That's how it is with cats. Once they know they can, they will take full advantage of the situation. 

Take my cat, Abby, for instance. She has been banned from our bedroom due to my husband's allergies. Prior to this she was quite content to make herself comfortable on my pillow each night. Now, although this was quite endearing as a kitten, once she became a ten pound plus cat it really was more annoying. Of course what mattered more to her was a good night's sleep regardless of the fact that I was relegated to a three inch remnant that provided no comfort at all. Now that she is spending her nights elsewhere, I've replaced that pillow with one of those fancy shmancy National Sleep Federation approved pillows, except I still find myself sleeping on that same three inch edge. 

Now not to be undone by her banishment, she has learned to push open the bedroom door each morning demanding to be fed. To be honest, I've felt a little guilty about not allowing her in the bedroom so I've let her linger a little longer than I should. You know, the inch that becomes a mile. After all a cat's gotta eat. As a result I'm not sleeping much past 7:00 any more. 

During the day I use my daughter's old baby gate to keep her out of the room. Except now anytime she sees an opportunity she runs right past me, belly swaying in the wind, and quickly makes her way into our bathroom. She's expecting to find a bowl of food and water available for her consumption, although that bowl has been conviently moved downstairs to be used by her and the occasional drive-by committed by the dog. Like I said this cat doesn't take no for an answer and walks that mile rather smugly. Hopefully I can learn my lesson, but I think in this family cats rule, and dogs and people drool!

Default Settings

Default settings. 

While reading Originals by Adam Grant, I came across a fascinating study. It had to do with the choice of Internet browsers that people used. 

It appears that if you are not content to use the default browser that comes loaded on your computer, than you probably are one who shows more initiative in your job. Apparently, more people just accept the default browser and move on. However, there is a small number who wonder if there is a better way, and take the time necessary to investigate further. 


This idea of succumbing to the default got me to wondering about how this might cross into other areas of our lives. We actually have natural cognitive biases that we are not aware even  of. We reach for that same jar of peanut butter time and time again primarily because it is the brand of our childhood. Our habits are deeply ingrained, and not easily changed. 

Perhaps, maybe just being a little more aware of this default setting and taking the initiative to see if there is a better way might be worth our while. I must admit that I use the default setting on my computer, and have never really considered the possibility of another. However, after reading about this study it makes me realize that I want to be more open to taking the initiative.  

Zeal

Zeal. 

"Let us not limit our zeal," is a reminder from St. Eugene de Mazenod  of France. Having zeal means to possess, "great energy or enthusiasm in pursuit of a cause or an object." 

When given a chance to live with zeal or not you really should choose zeal. Zeal was second nature to us as children, but as we matured it seemed to fade away. Watching a video of my grandson tasting spaghetti noodles for the first time was an exercise in zeal. The pure excitement of the experience was evident in his squeals of delight. Watching my poodle attempt to play with both his favorite ball and a long-lost toy newly discovered showed his zeal through the wagging of his tail. 

Why is it that I can find myself too serious, too reserved, and too grown-up in most situations? However, the reality is that I do have a capacity for zeal. Each day in the classroom was an opportunity for wonder as my students and I traveled down the path of learning. My enthusiasm for teaching bubbled effortlessly as I routinely asked, "Did you know?" I miss those opportunities for wonder coupled with zeal. 

In reflection on the words of this saint, I don't want to deny myself the enthusiasm and energy that being zealous might bring. It truly does contribute to a life well lived. 

Youth

Youth. 

Pablo Picasso believed that, "Youth has no age." 

Youth is defined as the "condition or quality of being young." What exactly is the definition of young? Is it an actual chronological age or is it a state of mind? 

The most obvious characteristic of youth is that it is the state of not being old. So technically chronological age must play a significant role in youth. The other prominent aspect of youth is that people have been searching for that elusive "fountain" long before Ponce de Leon decided to vacation in Florida. The anti-aging industry makes a fortune each year as aging Baby Boomers do their best not to be considered a fuddy duddy. 

Another descriptor of youth are the words spirited and vigor. As our energy levels decline, we find ourselves trying to capture the exuberance of our younger days without needing a nap. Sometimes this is a losing battle.

However, there may be an area of youth that we could have a fighting chance at winning. Another characteristic of youth is being inexperienced and being in the early stages of something. If we truly want to hold onto our youth, we must risk being a beginner again. 

Staying young has more to do with a point of view than it does with the number of candles on a cake. In the spirit of Picasso it is possible to recapture our youth by embracing the world with the wide-eyed wonder that once came so naturally to us. 

Extra

Extra. 

"The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is just that little extra." 

I want to encourage everyone to reach for that little extra. As you go through your day put forth a little extra effort. When you are interacting with others show a little extra kindness. Know that often times you reap what you sow. Don't limit yourself or deny yourself extraordinary by failing to give that little extra each day. 

Wandering

Wandering. 

As a child I used to love to wander. Of course, it was a different time back then, and children were allowed to wander outside the confines of their backyard. I would wander home from school a different way just to experience something new. I would wander through an unknown neighborhood on my bicycle, all the while  assuring my best friend that I knew the way back home. I would wander through creeks, woods and vacant lots always searching for the possibilities they could bring. 

It seemed, though, as time went by and I entered adulthood my wandering became less a part of my life. I suppose I was too busy trying to take care of my responsibilities to allow it to be  front and center. Anyway, time did not seem to be my own during that part of my life. 

Now that I am retired, I'm finding more time for wandering, although it looks much different. Browsing the stacks at the library or the bookstore is a way to entice my curiosity. Digging through the shelves at an antique or thrift store results in never knowing what might show up to delight. Taking a different route through my town always leads to some new construction not present the week before. 

I also remember a time when my husband used to love to wander on his motorcycle. One evening I got a call from him in  Kansas. He had started the day looking for a place to get a haircut and had ended up in Kansas. After all it is just past Oklahoma! Oh, the joys of wandering. 

If you have not been making time for wandering in your life, you might want to consider it. It's definition is, "to walk or move in a leisurely, casual, or aimless way."

"Not all those who wander are lost." J.R.R. Tolkien

Values

Values. 

Have you given much thought to your values lately? Your values are your principles or standards of behavior. Sometimes we go along paying lip-service to what we profess to value. But if the truth be known our actions don't always line up with what we say. 

It's easy to say that healthy eating habits are important to our quality of life. Unfortunately, though, our actual eating habits might not show this concern. We might attest to the idea of showing respect toward others, but our responses on social media might be differently. 

Roy E. Disney, the older brother and partner of Walt, said, "It's not hard to make decisions, once you know what your values are." 

 Maybe it's time to reevaluate whether our actions really line up with what we claim to 

value. Maybe if we are more honest with ourselves we might be able to recommit to the things we really know are best. By holding firm to our values those decisions in life might just be easier. 

Uncertain

Uncertain. 

One thing I am certain of is that we live in an uncertain world. Things can literally change in an instant. So how are we to deal with this uncertainty?  Writer Bernard Beckett approaches it with these words, "Human spirit is the ability to face the uncertainty of the future with curiosity and optimism." 

I find this to be wise advice, and want to chose this outlook for my future. Although, I know I may not be spared difficulties, I do not want to make this realization my main focus, and lose sight of what the world has to offer. 

Rather, I want to approach my days with the curiosity and optimism Beckett writes about. 

I want to look for beauty and goodness in simple things, and not overlook what is right before my eyes. I want to hang tightly  to the certainty of a moment and live it more fully. Now the sun might shine brightly tomorrow, or it may bring storms; of this I cannot be certain. No matter what, I want  to be thankful for my blessings, and not take them for granted.  Although, the future may be uncertain, I can be more certain of how I want to live. Don't let uncertainty get in the way of a life fully lived. 

Travel

Travel. 

Saint Augustine is credited with the quote, "The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page." As a lover of books, knowing that I could only read one page in my lifetime would be inconceivable. 

So it is with travel. Although, I may not be considered a world traveler, it has been an important part of my life.  What I have learned from my travels is that there is so much to discover that staying at home would never have allowed. 

I found that Canadian Geese enjoy spending time at all-inclusive resorts in the Dominican Republic as much as you and I. When feasting on pricy stone crab in the Keys I learned that only male crabs are harvested, and after their claw is detached they are thrown back into the ocean for regeneration. I found Mt. Rushmore to be a little disappointing when I realized that every photo I had ever seen was a close-up. Apparently, in real life when viewed from the ground it doesn't look quite so large.

Now I can't say the same thing about the Grand Canyon, because its view really is spectacular. I found the roar of a lion at the New Orlean's Zoo to be one of the most frightening sounds I had ever heard. Walking through Carlsbad Caverns was like being an alien in an unknown world.  Discovering a Prarie Dog Village in Lubbock was an unexpected treat.  Seeing a real black bear in the Smokey Mountain National Forest saved the day when my husband decided to take a detour from the original route. 

It seemed that each place I visited was an opportunity to share my adventures with my students. My teaching came to life when I could speak with authenticity. I couldn't help but be reminded of  a time in my twenties when I bought a set of luggage, and a not so encouraging "friend" made a comment about why I had wasted my money?   Although, at the time I had not traveled much I knew it was in my future. That well-worn set of luggage has been replaced more than once, but I still hold dear the memories it brings. 

The world truly does become your oyster when you make travel a priority. I encourage you to get packing. 

Strength

Strength. 

Our culture puts a lot of stock in strength. When an individual experiences tragedy they are counseled to remain strong. They are praised repeatedly for their strength. The mantra of those well meaning friends becomes, "I don't know how you do it?"

However, novelist Hermann Hesse feels differently about this, "Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go." 

Even the Bible reminds us about strength and weakness. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Depending solely on ourselves and thinking we can do it all on our own may just be fighting a losing battle. 

When someone is going through hard times it is okay to let them know they have permission to be weak. It is okay to let go, and allow others to be strong. For those who put their trust in God, they know that he will see them through. 

Allowing someone to be weak might just be the kindest act of all during tragedy.  

Rules

Rules. 

Katharine Hepburne once said, "If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun." She probably has a point, however, I can't say that I'm in agreement with her. 

I've always been a rule following kind of gal. This has come easily for me as I tend to agree with most of them. Or maybe, if truth be told, I always hated getting in trouble. If I could follow the rules, then I didn't have to worry about the consequences of breaking them. As a child one stern look from a teacher would crush me resulting in a tear stained face. I craved the accolades that came with doing the right thing. 

Once my husband made a comment about how fun it was to be breaking the rules. I had to explain to him that for some of us there was nothing fun about it at all. The anxiety it brought overshadowed any thrill that might result in rule breaking. 

The only rule that I have made peace about breaking is bringing outside food into the movie theater. I think this has more to do with being cheap, because I can't rectify paying more for the concessions than the movie itself. 

So is it possible to have fun and remain within the confines of the rules? I'll have to attest that it is possible, however,  it probably has a lot to do with how you define fun!

Quitting

Quitting.

Vince Lombardi, the famous football coach used to tell his players, "Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit." If truth be told, most of us probably have something in our past that we regret. 

One of my biggest regrets had to do with quitting. My senior year of high school I was involved in a one-act-play competition. In fact, I actually had one of the leading roles. I was quite pleased with my audition performance, and had really showed off my acting abilities.  Unfortunately, that confidence never showed itself again in the rehearsals leading up to the competition. As a result, I began to feel quite intimidated with the expectations of the director.   I saw quitting as the only way to save me from further humiliation. I went to my mother for advice, and without any hesitation she urged me to go ahead with my plans and quit.  As I look back I wish she would have encouraged me to continue on rather than to take the easier road of quitting. 

Although, my problem was solved, it didn't help much in those life lessons we learn along the way. A precedent had been set that day; when things get too uncomfortable just quit. And unfortunately once you allow yourself to quit under these circumstances it may just become a habit. 

As I look back over the last forty years I wonder how many times I conviently didn't follow through because the going got tough?  I wonder what all I might have missed out on along the way?  Although, I don't think you have to stick with every new thing you try, I do think you should at least finish the committment you made. Finishing the season, or the course, or even the role others are depending on you for is what really matters most. Whether you choose to continue after that is really up to you depending upon if you found satisfaction in your new endeavor.  Just don't give up too quickly, and allow quitting to become a habit.  

Progress

Progress. 

"Behold the turtle.  He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out."

It was evident in the life of James Bryant Conant, author of this quote, that he made it a regular practice to stick his neck out. In his lifetime he earned a Ph.D. in chemistry, served as president of his alma mater Harvard University, and was appointed as the first U.S. ambassador to W. Germany. 

Sticking your neck out is required to make progress; just ask any self-respecting turtle. Of course, in doing so you are always risking possible danger. Interestingly enough, choosing not to move forward might actually end up being more risky in the scheme of things. Our tolerance for risk, might just determine our final success. Risk really isn't optional, and we can't spend our days confined to the safety of our shells. Each day we need to stick our neck out and continue on. 

Another lesson learned from the turtle, is that when things begin to get a little too tough, we can always retreat to that shell, and give it a go at another time. Making progress a daily part of your life does seem to be the way to go. 

Obstacles

Obstacles. 

"If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere," are the words of politician Frank A. Clark. Why does it seem that human nature wants to naturally lead us down the easy path? Most of us don't go out actively looking for trouble, however, in life many things that are worth pursuing will present some obstacles along the way. 

Nowhere is this more clear than in watching my eight month old grandson attempting to  maneuver his world. He is desperately wanting to go vertical, except that he doesn't quite have the whole balance thing down yet. So every time he struggles to pull himself up chances are he will be back down in a matter of seconds. The interesting thing, though, is that it doesn't seem to bother him too much. He just continues on and tries again. He has some important work to do and is quite determined to be successful. 

I'm not quite sure when this sense of purpose begins to change, and we start looking for the easy way?  When do we acquire the idea that everything should go smooth as silk with no bumps along the way? Why do some of us give up easily if things don't work out perfectly the first time? 

Clark points out that if obstacles are not present we may just be on a path to nowhere. If you have persevered in times of adversity, you probably have seen the value of your hard work. Don't go looking for the easy path, rather maneuver the obstacles and take a more meaningful path. 

Necessity

Necessity.

"Necessity is the mother of invention," is based on the words of Plato. I find it to be true that sometimes your creativity is stretched when you need something, but don't have it on hand. How many times have you had to substitute one thing for another? 

One of my fails was using French vanilla creamer in my scrambled eggs when I had no milk available. I don't recommend it at all! However, sometimes we come up with a better way when forced to fill a need. I like the idea of using what you have on hand to solve a problem. 

One of my favorite movie scenes is from Apollo 13, when it appears that the crew might not make it home because of some sort of malfunction. The scientists at home are challenged to use a box full of parts found on the spaceship to come up with a solution to save the astronauts. Using ingenuity and necessity they are triumphant and the crew is able to return home safely. 

Once my daughter and I decided to make our own doctor kit as she did not have one. We found items around the house to include in a Winnie the Pooh blue doctor bag. The most creative item we made was a homemade blood pressure cuff. Using an old turkey baster, a scrunchie, a phone cord, and a plastic lemon squeeze bottle we came up with a pretty convincing piece of medical equipment, along with some great memories. 

I encourage you the next time you don't have something on hand to allow, "necessity to be the mother of invention," and to embrace your own creativity. Who knows, your invention might earn you a spot on Shark Tank. 

Moments

Moments. 

I missed my husband's college graduation. Well, technically I was there, but I was too distracted trying to work the camcorder that I pretty much missed it. You know what is even more crazy?  We have never actually watched the video recording of the big day. 

It was at that moment that my video recording days came to a screeching halt. When we were celebrating the gender reveal of my soon to be born first grandchild, I specifically asked a friend to record the event. It was her camera, not mine that captured the blue balloons drifting  into the air, while I attempted to wipe the grin off my face. There was no way I was missing this one! 

These kind of moments are too rare and special to be lost trying to capture it on film yourself.

Now I'm not saying there is no value in recording the milestones of life. I enjoy each new video of my grandson that comes along via text on my phone. It makes the distance between us not so far. 

However, I have learned that for those special moments it is best to soak them in fully the first time around, and leave the recording to somebody else.  

"Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life."

Omar Khayyam

Luck

Luck. 

Thomas Jefferson once said, "I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it."

I have never put much stock in luck. Not to say it doesn't happen, but I have never been one to depend on it. Considering that luck is, "success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one's actions," I can see why I personally have not looked toward luck to determine my future. 

I remember being in line to mail a package once at a post office/ convience store, and literally being the only person who was not buying a powerball ticket. Now I know you can't win if you don't play, but I think they say you actually have a greater chance of being hit by lightning than you do at winning. For some reason those odds didn't add up for me. 

Now ironically, I have actually been quite lucky when it comes to winning things like raffles, drawings and door prizes. In addition, the fact that my daughter was born on St. Patrick's Day makes this Irish girl feel quite lucky. So I guess for me I'm always willing to enjoy the luck that comes along my way, but more importantly I'm willing to put in the hard work necessary to make my own luck. 

Interestingly enough, sometimes those who rely on luck the most are often the unluckiest of all. Take Jefferson's advice and depend more on hard work. 

Keen

Keen. 

"Keen at the start, but careless at the end," are the words of a Roman historian and politician named Cornelius Tacitus. Now to be honest, keen is not really a part of my everyday vernacular.  I do remember back in jr. high I once played the part of a younger sister, who seemed to only know the words "Peachy keen," in talking with her older, cooler sister. 

The definition of keen is,"having or showing eagerness or enthusiasm." I have been guilty more times than not of starting a task with great enthusiasm, and fizzling out as I neared the end.  For me I think it has to do with not being naturally patient, and wanting to accomplish things quickly. If something requires too much time and effort, I'm ready to move onto the next thing. 

However, I do believe that it is a strength to know your weakness, so knowing ahead of time that you have a tendency to become careless near the end, might make you more aware of how you work. Or know that your strength might be more valuable at the beginning of a task helping to motivate, rather then seeing the task to completion. Regardless of what fits your temperament, I do hope that  the eagerness and enthusiasm engulfed in the word "keen" is included along the way for you.