Directing the Sails

Directing the sails. 

Thomas S. Monson says, "We can't direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails."

In life there will be storms. We really have very little control over this, however we are not completely helpless against them. By adjusting our sails we don't have to suffer the brunt of their force. 

Often times that adjustment has more to do with our attitude than anything else. It is easy to become discouraged and want to give up. But if you will direct yourself out of the gale you might find yourself thinking differently. 

Many times we hang on for too long, allowing ourselves to make a change only when circumstances become unbearable. However, that resulting change might be the very thing that calms the storm.  

The reality is that storms are a part of life, and thinking that we can avoid them is unrealistic. We must sail our boat adjusting the sails as we go along, and continue looking for smooth sailing ahead.  

Challenges

Challenges.

To be honest I really don't like challenging situations.  I much prefer for things to be easy as I suppose most people do. 

What I have discovered, though, is that sometimes we aren't even aware of a potential challenge until we are smack dab in the middle of it. It is then that the real test of our ability to cope surfaces. 

Recently I found myself in a situation that not only caught me off guard, but resulted in a sense of discomfort that I just couldn't shake. My first inclination was to retreat, but it wasn't a viable option at the time. Unfortunately, I was never able to come up with a solution, and basically just remained uncomfortable. 

After giving it some more thought, it really bothered me that I was never able to successfully maneuver this challenge. It was later that I read the words of Fred DeVito,  "If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you." 

This experience has made me more aware of how I react in uncomfortable situations, and I am ready to change my actions in the future.   How have challenges changed you?

Scratchy Napkins

Scratchy napkins. 

I've always tried to be careful with my spending, and getting a deal is sure to bring a smile to my face. I am grateful I learned from my mother to buy quality, but to find it on sale. 

For years I purchased a name brand package of napkins thinking I was getting quality at a reasonable price. However, for some reason one day I decided to spend a few cents more and pick up a fancier brand. When I got home I couldn't believe the difference. Who knew that there was such a thing as a soft paper napkin? 

My life changed immediately. I emphatically declared, "Life is too short for scratchy napkins." Since then I've learned to splurge on a few things like real cheese vs the orange cheese product you peel off of a piece of cellophane. When I made the choice to eat more real food as opposed to processed, I found more money in my grocery budget to spend on the things we liked. 

Although, I don't recommend throwing caution to the wind when it comes to finances, I do recommend splurging a little on something you really enjoy. After all life really is too short. 

Spend Out

Spend out. 

There is a concept known as spending out. It has to do with the idea of using what you  have today, and not just saving it in hopes for a better occasion. 

Now I am a huge proponent of saving for a rainy day. However, spending out is not so much about not saving money for the future. It has more to do with using your good china for everyday dining, rather than letting it go unused sitting in the hutch cabinet. 

It's about not saving something for a special occasion that never comes along. It's more about using and enjoying something knowing that it will eventually run out, and that is okay. You may or may not be able to replace it exactly, but you didn't let it sit in a box unused for a lifetime. 

Sometimes it has to do with the idea of saving the "good stuff" for company, and not allowing ourselves the priviledge. Knowing that life really is too short, we don't have time to wait around hoping that company shows up. 

Holding on to something out of fear of not having it again is counterproductive. So open that special bottle of wine and serve it with some really good cheese. 

Spend out!

The Unknown

The unknown. 

In life we pretty much have the known and the unknown. The known holds some sense of comfort because it cannot surprise us. It is what keeps us teaching the same grade for thirty years. The known is what keeps us from moving away from our hometown. Sometimes the known is what keeps us from living the life we really want. 



The unknown on the other hand, seems to be the scarier of the two. Even though, the unknown might be the better path, it still holds uncertainty. What if you were to give up the known and end up unhappy in the unknown? What if you ended up regretting ever leaving the known?

For me I waver between the two. In many ways I crave the security of the known. I like not having to think too much about the unfamiliar. And yet, I find myself restless and searching for something new and different. The hidden truth is that actually every day is the unknown. We no more know for sure what will happen in the next second as we know what will happen ten years from now. 


So what are we to do with this knowledge? Sometimes you just have to be brave, and take that first step. 

Stuff

Stuff. 

Dominique Browning in her New York Times article, Let's Celebrate the Art of Clutter, writes, "We are in a collective , and most unfortunate paroxysm of guilt and anxiety over our stuff." It seems very uncool these days to admit you love your stuff. 

Now in checking the definition of clutter it includes the terms untidy and disorderly. Although, my husband and I value our stuff we have little tolerance for disorder, and our stuff needs to abide in a more orderly state. What has been on our mind lately, though, is the eventual "D" word; you know downsizing. Now that we are empty nesters do we really need all this space? And if we really don't need all this space what are we going to do with all our stuff?

After almost two decades in our present home we have accumulated quite a bit, inspite of regular trips to Goodwill and an occasional garage sale. And to quote my husband, "I like my stuff." For me I find myself sentimentally attached to many of our possessions, and the thought of letting them go makes me uncomfortable. How do you part with stuff you like and stuff that brings back memories?

However, on the other hand the thought of lightening the load really does seem appealing. In some ways our home has just become a gathering place for the different seasons in our life. Our daughter no longer lives at home, and yet I cling to things that she no longer values. I have retired from teaching, but still hold onto much of my teaching stuff. My husband has enjoyed many hobbies along the way and much of his stuff is just gathering dust. 

So my question today is; is there an easier way to do this? For those of you who have already downsized what did you find worked for you? Although, I don't have a set plan I do know the day is coming, and per usual I just want to be prepared. 

Words

Words. 

"Be careful with your words. Once they are said, they can only be forgiven,  not forgotten." Leave it to the Internet to provide the perfect quote. 

One of my biggest flaws is the fact that I talk too much and too fast. Words seem to slip out before I even have time to think about what I'm saying. The worst part about this is that it always seems to affect those closest to me. They seem to take the brunt of my never ending carelessness. 

When I am in a group setting and find myself dominating the conversation, I try to remind myself to W.A.I.T. ; in other words ask myself Why Am I Talking? 

Recently after hurting someone I love with my words, I turned to the Psalms for guidance. Psalm 141:3 teaches, "Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips." Although, I have been forgiven, I know that unkind words sting and are rarely truly forgotten. 

Revolutionary Thinking

Revolutionary thinking. 

I'm not what you would consider a football super fan. I'll watch an occasional Cowboy game, and watch the Super Bowl more for the commercials.  So I was surprised to find myself reading an article about a football coach. 

His name is Hal Mumme and he is the subject of a new book written by S.C. Gwynne entitled, The Perfect Pass. Now what makes Mumme so unique is that he practically revolutionized football by making it more of a passing than a running game. 

Rather than have his players lift weights he worked more on their flexibility. He formed his teams using players overlooked by other coaches. His methods brought him success, and were eventually used in professional football. 

Mumme's willingness to think differently created a new way to look at the sport, and his actions are an inspiration to us all. 

Poodles

Poodles. 

I never knew before what wonderful dogs poodles are, but apparently I'm not alone in my fondness for the breed. The other day I ran into a former coworker of mine that I had not seen in several years. We got to talking about children and grandchildren, and how she was looking  forward to someday being a grandmother. 

I had to concur that it was the best thing ever, however in the interim I recommended that she get a poodle. She started to laugh, and admitted that she already had two. We quickly shared our poodle pictures, and went on to sing the praises of our curly haired boys. 

When I was considering getting a smaller dog I found myself coming back to the poodle time and time again. It appeared that they just might be the perfect dog for me. Small, portable, smart, devoted, funny and a nonshedder to boot. Although, I've never been completely sold on the look of the poodle I learned that they can remain in a more fluffy puppy cut that looks pretty adorable. 

It appears that I'm not the only fan. If you ever come across a poodle owner and ask them about their dog make sure you have a few moments to spare, because chances are they can't say enough good things about them. 

Changing Direction

Changing direction. 

I came across a Chinese proverb the other day that got me thinking. "If we don't change the direction we are headed, we will end up where we are going." 

Now this may not necessarily be a bad thing, but what if we missed out just because we chose to trudge forward following the path we were already on? As we reflect over our lives 
we may realize that what seemed perfect for us a few years back may not be the best for us 
now. If we turn a blind eye toward our current circumstances we might end up missing out on something more fulfilling. 

Changing directions might involve leaving the comfort zone of the familiar. However, in all honesty you might find that comfortable life might just be begining to pinch, and it's time to move on. So don't end up where you are going just because you refused to try a new direction. 

Moderation

Moderation. 

"Do nothing in excess, even moderation," is one of Gretchen Rubin's Secrets of Adulthood. This hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm not very extreme in my life. I rarely follow trends, or get overly excited about anything. I'm practical and level-headed. I don't know if this is just my temperament or something I have adapted over the years? What I do know is that I have been excessively moderate. On second thought I think I'd rather be moderately excessive. 

How about you?

Bee Aware

Bee aware. 

I've never fancied myself a gardener. In fact, the only thing I seem to be able to keep alive is pothos ivy, which has the reputation of being the easiest houseplant to grow. It is relatively maintenance free, and perks up quite nicely with a little water every now and then, and come to find out it actually helps to purify indoor air.  

This summer I was introduced to a new plant called purslane. I immediately became enamoured by its blooms which opened and closed daily. In addition to this beauty,  the sage bushes my husband  planted a year ago have produced the most beautiful purple blossoms. Not only are they beautiful, but they are also bee friendly. 

The other day I was reading about how millions of bees were killed when they were accidentally sprayed with pesticide. Up until now I really never thought too much about bees, and just considered them another stinging insect to be avoided. 

However, after this incident I learned that bees really do play a critical role in our ecosystem. Without them much of the produce found so readily at the grocery store would be nonexistent. Now to be honest I don't actually see myself raising bees. But what I have  learned is that just by providing bee friendly flowers in your landscaping can make a big difference. It is also important not to contaminate the blooms with pesticides. 

My plans are to visit my local nursery to see what other plants I might be able to add that would encourage a visit from my friendly neighborhood bee. Awareness is often the first step toward making the world a better place. 

A Bird's Eye View

A bird's eye view. 

One's destination is never a place, but rather a new way of looking at things." Henry Miller's words tell us that sometimes we need to change our perspective and view in order to really see. If we are content with only what is directly in front of us, then we may not be getting the full picture. 

We don't necessarily need to agree with everyone, but trying to gain some understanding can result in more compassion toward others. We can still remain true to our core beliefs, but listening to the other side may increase understanding. 

Changing our perspective may also help us to frame a negative situation into a more positive one. Looking for that silver lining can result in increased happiness. Just being open to looking at something with fresh eyes may produce different results. So like the bird who flies overhead stretch your wings and dare to see the world differently. 

Remarkable

Remarkable. 

When you think about your life do you consider it remarkable? Is it worthy of attention or striking? In his book Puple Cow, Seth Godin encourages those in business to create the purple cow. In other words, something that stands out from the crowd; something unique or original. 

In your own life seek not to blend in, allowing fear to hold you back. "The best the timid can hope for is to be unnoticed." Godin relates that we begin to lose our capacity for remarkableness when we enter school. 

He states that one of the lessons learned during this time is failure. It is a time where fitting in prevails. Playing it safe and following the rules make for a more pleasant experience. Often times the one who speaks up, or questions why may find himself in trouble or without friends. 

Being remarkable might risk not being liked. However, think what a difference it might make to be remarkable. We are all inspired by those who go above and beyond. We love those underdog stories that result in overcoming tremendous odds. And yet, we might not see ourselves capable of doing so. 

Aspiring for a life that is remarkable might not be such a bad thing.  Especially if we can inspire others to do the same. This one life is all we get, and not making the most of it seems ashame. Go look for your purple cow. 

Entrepreneur

Entrepreneur. 

Entrepreneur is a term created by economist, Richard Cantillion, with a literal meaning of "bearer of risk." Now when we normally think about being an aspiring entrepreneur we use the term in the context of business. However, after reading the characteristics of "risk bearers" in Adam Grant's new book Originals, I began to think about it as it applied to my life. 

One misconception about entrepreneurs is the idea that these people are a special breed that feel quite at home with risk. Quite the contrary was found to be true. Grant writes, "We find that entrepreneurs are significantly more risk-averse than the general population." This leads to the question as to how it is possible for them to take the risks involved in their successes? 

According to Grant they hedge their bets. In other words, while they take the risk in one area of their lives, they balance it with caution in another. This is why so many of them continue to work their day job while launching their dream. Now not all of us have the desire to run our own business, yet we do have the opportunity to be in charge of our own life. 

If there is something that has been calling your name, whispering to you at every turn, you might consider sticking your toe into the water. You don't have to completely upend your entire life; no tiny house, no moving a thousand miles away, or giving up sugar for a year. Rather, taking a small risk in one area of your life might be completely feasible. 

Like Grant says, " Having a sense of security in one realm gives us the freedom to be original in another."

True to Yourself

True to yourself. 

When author Ray Bradbury was a boy his classmates made fun of him because he collected Buck Rogers comic books. He reacted by tearing them up and throwing them away. But by the next day he felt incredibly sad because he felt as if someone had died; namely himself. 

It was as if he had torn up not only his beloved comic books, but his future as well. He soon began a new collection of Buck Rogers comic books, and went on to devote his life to writing including science fiction.  From then on he refused to listen to the voices of his classmates when it came to what he loved to do. "What did I learn? To be myself and never let others, prejudiced, interfere with my life." He went on to encourage others to do the same. "Be your own self. Love what YOU love." 

What do you love?

Goldfish Crackers

Goldfish crackers. 

Have you ever wondered about how the goldfish cracker was invented? Prior to its existence we were subject to the standard cheese cracker; a square, cheesy piece of goodness enjoyed by many. 

I can only imagine that initial pitch for the goldfish shaped cracker.  You see novelty sells. Why not change the shape of the cracker and open up a whole new cheesy universe. Well apparently that's what happened when Pepperidge Farm introduced their little gold mines. 

My first experience with these little fish was after my brother was born in the mid-sixties. My mom used to bring a baggieful of them to church on Sunday him occupied during mass. They worked like a charm and kept him quite content. Even today the newer mini-goldfish crackers are one of my grandson's favorites. 

Novelty goes a long way so don't be reluctant to think outside the box, or more appropriately the bag! 

Reboot

Reboot. 

Back in the eighties when personal computers were first becoming available, the word on the street was that you better not push the wrong button or you would make the computer crash. Crashing a computer was like the worst thing ever. Hopefully you had saved your information every five seconds or it would be lost in the cyber world forever. Or so they said. 

Needless to say, my generation was initially very fearful of doing something wrong and risking the crash. Fast forward about thirty years, and today you find kids who are fearless on the computer. I don't know for sure if there ever really was that infamous wrong button or if somehow over time computers evolved to just become more user friendly. What I do know is that I have become a lot less fearful when it comes to the computer. 

I have also learned that sometimes when your computer does not seem to be cooperating, the best thing to do is just reboot it; in other words start over. A fellow blogger friend of mine mentioned the other day about how she relys on the tech savvy of her young students when she needs assistance. One of them gave her the following advice; "You can fix most issues by just rebooting it."

Now this got me to thinking that if it works for the i phone, would it work for life in general? After all, basically rebooting is just restarting the computer after making an error. How many times in our life have we wallowed about the error we had made instead of just starting again?

I'm beginning to feel inspired by the power of the reboot. Most of our errors are relatively minor, falling into the category of annoying more than anything. So the next time when you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by a task take a minute to just reboot. That crash you were so worried about was probably never going to really happen. 

Flourishing

Flourishing. 

Although I do not know the author of the words, "What you feed will flourish, what you neglect will die," they are empactful to me. 

There is much truth in that the things that devour your time and energy become what is important to you. Unfortunately, this is not always a good thing. 

Sometimes we become completely blinded to what may have become second nature to us, and if not recognized will possibly remain unchanged. If we continue down this path we may be inhibiting our ability to fully flourish. Like a flower deprived of enough water, our bloom may result in only a trace of what it could have been. 

For this reason it is critical that we are aware of what grabs our thoughts and attention. If you are feeling a sense of inertia, and losing enthusiasm begin to feed your mind with something worthy and inspiring. Become more intentional in your actions and choices, and watch your life begin to flourish. 

The Psalms remind us, "As a man thinketh in his heart so he will be." It is not too late for flourishing. 

Here Today Gone Tomorrow

Here today gone tomorrow.

I stepped out my front door the other day, and was greeted with the most beautiful purple blooms in our sage bushes. Its beauty begged to be photographed, and considering the blooms were gone a few days later I was grateful I had snapped those photos. 

Literally here today gone tomorrow. It reminded me about a few times in my life when I had put something off thinking I would get to it tomorrow, only finding that it was no longer available tomorrow. This has happened to me especially when it comes to limited exhibits offered by local museums. I have all the good intentions in the world, but never actually get around to attending the event. 

The reality is that sometimes you just have to strike while the iron is hot. Your stamina may no longer keep up with where you want to go. The area you want to travel to may no longer be as safe as it once was. We just can't assume that someday will arrive. 

Just like the sage in bloom we must drink it in when it is made available to us. Luckily this little plant continues to bloom more than once, so I'm getting to enjoy it over again. Don't let here today gone tomorrow be the story of your life. 

Be Careful

Be careful. 

I found myself the other day repeatedly saying these words to my grandson.  He is mobile now, and between creeping, crawling and pulling himself up he requires constant attention. As soon as he is up you better keep a close eye on him because gravity will soon be taking over. My natural instinct is to want to protect him. 

I certainly don't want a bump or scrape to happen on my watch, but at the same time I don't want to discourage him from his natural inclination to explore his world. I don't want him to become fearful that he might hurt himself. I don't want him to be so tuned into being careful that he stops taking calculated risks. 

So I'm finding myself biting my tongue, and instead encouraging him along the way. Of course, at the same time keeping a close eye on him to make sure nothing really bad happens. I've even taken to fining myself twenty-five cents every time I slip up. His rodeo fund piggy bank has had a few quarters added to it, but not enough to make him rich. 

I'm realizing that every step along the way I am helping to mold the young man that he is becoming. I want him to be brave and take those risks along the way that will enrich his life. So, even though he's still a little guy right now, I want to remain mindful of the influence I do have through my words. 

Right in Front of Your Nose

Right in front of your nose. 

Now my mother would kill me if she knew I was getting ready to disclose this information. I remember getting scolded once for announcing to the neighborhood that we were having hotdogs for dinner. She was all about keeping things within the family and not broadcasting our personal information. 

Now the other day I noticed an unusual odor coming from the pantry. I sniffed around a little, but to no avail, so I asked my husband with his highly refined olfactory abilities for some assistance. He sniffed around as well, and concurred about the odor, but not its origin. His solution was for me to remove everything from the pantry shelves to determine the culprit. My immediate thought was that there were about a million other things I'd rather be doing then emptying out the pantry. 

What I was able to detect, though, was that the odor seemed to be coming from the bottom half of the pantry. Everytime I reached down I would get a whiff of the unpleasant smell.  I rummaged around looking for possibilities, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. And then it occurred to me that the smell actually was coming from right in front of my nose. The guilty party was the terra cotta garlic pot sitting on the shelf. Inside I found a recently purchased pod of garlic which reeked to high heaven! It quickly made its way into the nearby trash and voila, problem solved. 

After giving it a little reflection, it occurred to me that the solution to my problem was literally right before my nose. Sometimes starting with the most obvious solution might be the smartest way to go.