Settling

Settling. 

There is a really clever series of commercials about the "Settlers." Rather than upgrade to a better television service they settle for an inferior viewing experience. Do you ever find yourself settling? 

I remember one of the first times I settled. As a senior in high school I had fallen in love with the 1974 Cutlass Supreme. My friend's sister owned the car, and I just assumed that after I graduated from college so would I. Unfortunately for me they changed the body style of my dream car right before I graduated. 

But in reality it didn't matter much because I made so little money as a beginning teacher that I settled for a used, brown Chevette. The reality of economics hit me hard when I realized that there were many things I probably wouldn't be owning on my salary. I had given up pretty easily on my dream. In fact, I think that experience was the start of a series of decisions that were basically settling. 

Vlad Zachary in his book, The Excellence Habit, states, "We settle one step at a time." When we are children we never question whether our dreams will come true. We confidently declare that we will be a ballerina, a doctor and a mom when we grow up. We seem to have a blind faith that we can achieve it all. 

However, as we enter adulthood we may find ourselves beginning to settle on our dreams or forgetting them all together. The question as to whether we have settled might be one to ponder, and reconsider in planning for the future. 

Creative People

Creative people. 

Artist Henri Mattisse says it well with the words, "Creative people are curious, flexible, persistent, and independent with a tremendous spirit of adventure and a love of play. "

Author Elizabeth Gilbert recalls how her father used to "pursue his curiosities." I think this is an excellent way to live. Keeping your eyes open, and your mind curious, and then following up on what you have noticed helps to maintain a creative life. 

I have always been one to pursue my curiosities. In fact, I am probably guilty of pursuing too many things at once. But it is a fun way to live as you add to your bank of knowledge and your accumulation of skills. 

As I continue down this creative journey I want to incorporate a greater spirit of adventure and a love of play,  along with my natural curiosity. 

Mission

Mission. 

Life Strategist Tony Robbins believes, "Energy comes from having a mission; it comes from something that you're being pulled by, not something you're pushing on."

I think about how many times in my life that it was all about the push. Pushing through the day to get everything accomplished seemed to be my highest priority. Robbins also talks about time, and how we are guilty of trading it without considering that it is something that can never be recouped. 

I'm intrigued by the idea of mission. I like the idea of waking each morning excited about the opportunities and possibilities the day may bring. There is no time like the present to consider your own mission. 

Rut

Rut. 

At first glance a rut is defined as, "a habit or pattern of behavior that has become dull and unproductive but is hard to change." But I found its alternative definition telling as well, "a long deep track made by repeated passage." 

This is how it is so easy to fall into a rut. It is the repeated actions of day to day living. Over time they cause a sort of autopilot kind of life. Think back to when you made a significant change; something that was completely out of your comfort zone. 

At that moment you began a new track that over time may have eventually become a deep rut. But do you remember how exciting the beginning of that new journey was? Everything was new and adventurous.  You found yourself more fully engaged in discovering your new surroundings. But if you continue to repeat and travel that  same road, no matter how exciting, you will eventually wind up in a rut. 

Perhaps, looking toward change as a necessary element in life may result in that "road less travelled." Avoiding the rut in the first place, though, is probably the best way to find deeper satisfaction in your days. 

Wants vs Needs

Wants vs needs. 

When I was a second grade teacher one of my favorite units to teach was economics. In our study we learned about the difference between wants and needs. Of course this had to do with material possessions and how we spent our money. 

Recently I've been giving some thought to how this relates to my actions. I think sometimes it gets easy to become bogged down by everything we need to do. Sometimes we can even gain a sense of purpose or importance in the things we need to do. 

But what I've found to be true is that "need to" can wear you down. The other 
day I was on my way to visit my dad. I had left the house thinking it was 
something I needed to do along with another errand. But what I realized was that in changing my thinking to "want to" it shifted my attitude. 

I really do enjoy getting to spend time with him, but relegating my visit to simply "need to" made it sound more like a chore. Words have meaning, and because of that I want to choose mine more carefully. 

Comfort Food

Comfort food. 

I didn't grow up on macaroni and cheese. Perhaps that was because my parents didn't grow up in the south. 

The first time I remember making the golden goodness was when I was around thirteen and was babysitting a family from church. Part of my responsibilities was to make dinner. I remember never quite getting the powdered cheese completely mixed into the noodles. 

But never the less, it became my new found favorite food. I remember stopping off on my way home from church on Sunday's regularly to pick up the blue and yellow box. It's twenty-
five cent cost worked well into my limited allowance. 

Over the years I've fixed the box mix of macaroni and cheese over and over again. I have never grown tired of the comfort it seems to bring. When my daughter was older she insisted on the real deal, not the boxed version. Macaroni and cheese has now become a favorite at Thanksgiving. But to be honest, I still find the boxed version more comforting. 

I found myself craving it last night. There really is something about the comfort certain foods can bring. 

Boundaries

Boundaries. 

Merriam Webster defines boundaries as, "something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent." 

I'm learning more about setting boundaries in my life. You see if you tend to be a people pleaser, like me, this is a very uncomfortable place to be. It's safer to just go along with 
something than to risk upsetting someone. 

But just like your house comes equipped with a door, or your yard with a fence, there is a reason for boundaries. You are allowed to determine how much or how little you want to allow someone into your life. You are allowed to decide where your boundaries begin and end. 

And once this begins to happen you will find that you can let go of some not so healthy behaviors like managing and controlling everything. If life begins to become a little too stressful, it might be time to think about boundaries. 

Uncertainty

Uncertainty. 

A fellow blogger posted something about uncertainty the other day. As obvious as it is, life really is about uncertainty. My way of handling uncertainty is to manage and control. 

It is my way of reassuring myself that everything will be alright. But I'm only kidding myself thinking  that I can avert uncertainty from happening. 

It seems over the the course of the last two months one thing after another has played into uncertainty. In an effort to give myself a tangible reminder of who is actually in control of my life, I have placed a small plastic sheep in my car. Each day when I look at it I am reminded that I am a sheep and the Lord is my shepherd. 

I don't need to fill my days with worry and anxiety as to, "what might happen next?" I don't have to manage everyone and everything. I don't have to be in control of every possible outcome. 

It actually is an exhausting job, and technically it is not mine to employ. Taking this small action has allowed me to be more conscious and intentional about my life. 

A Leap of Faith

A leap of faith. 

I discovered something about myself during my first trip to Colorado about fifteen years ago. I have a fear of heights. My trip up to Pike's Peak confirmed that my fear was real and visceral. Each time the passenger side of the car got anywhere near the edge of the road the knot in the pit of my stomach grew and grew. 

In reading Ella Luna's book, The Crossroads of Should and Must, she writes that, "Choosing 'Must' often requires a leap of faith- if you've ever peered out over the edge of a cliff, you've felt the fear." 

It made me wonder if I had ever really taken a leap of faith in my life? Oh, I had changed grade levels along the way, but those changes were always within the safety net of the somewhat known. In order to take a leap of faith, I would have to be pretty certain that what I was getting ready to do would be successful. And technically would that even be considered a leap of faith? 

I must admit, I am inspired by those who have had the courage to take that leap of faith. 

The List

The list. 

How do you approach life?  Sarah Young writes about not, "approaching the day as a blank page that you need to fill up." 

When I first retired from full time teaching I found myself each day making a really long list of things that needed to be done. It was my way of somehow justifying that I had not frittered away my day. That list was full of "shoulds" I needed to do. 

Now granted this  list was totally self-inflicted because  I never wanted to be accused of not being productive. Fast forward seven years and I've learned to cut myself some slack. Although, to be honest between working three days a week, attending to my parent's affairs, and taking care of my own home there isn't much free time to waste. 

However, taking the time to do something I want to do is important. Just as the last seven years have flown by quickly, I don't want to waste my days just checking things off a list. Make time to do something you enjoy today. 

St. Patrick's Day

St. Patrick's Day.

Growing up I knew that my grandparents were originally from Ireland. I remember my grandmother making her Irish Soda Bread, which I must admit I didn't really care for. I don't really remember St. Patrick's Day being more than just a day I wore green so as not to get pinched. However, I do remember my mother sharing with me stories about St. Patrick himself; how he was credited with driving all the snakes out of Ireland, and taught the Trinity through the shamrock. 

But St. Patrick's Day took on a whole new meaning when my almost two weeks late daughter was born on that day. I beamed with pride that she chose that day to enter the world. I felt like she had been born under a lucky star. Recently I had my DNA tested through Ancestry.com and found myself to be 84% Irish with a little Great Britian thrown in for good measure. All in all I feel pretty luck to hail from the Emerald Isle. 

Happy St. Paddy's Day y'all!

Pulling Weeds

Pulling weeds. 

I'm not a fan of yard work. Just ask my husband. In out thirty years of marriage the full credit of a beautiful lawn goes to him. But there is something about pulling weeds that I enjoy. I'm not sure exactly what it is. 

Perhaps, it is the hunt as I scan the yard for another ellusive weed? Maybe, it's having the correct tool to get the job done? My little weed tool does a very efficient job of getting the weed out by its roots. Maybe, it's the satisfaction of a job well done, when the the yard becomes relatively weed free?  

Maybe, it's the cool evening breeze and the sound of the wind chimes hanging from our tree? Who knows for sure, but I don't hear my husband complaining. 

Time

Time. 

I cancelled my Dad's Time magazine subscription today. Growing up Time magazine was a staple in our home. Dad had easily subscribed to this magazine for at least fifty years. 

It's just one more thing that has changed over the last year. But, the good thing is that it was only I, not Dad who was sad about this. Dementia keeps you living in the moment. All the cares of the world are no longer yours to care about. 

It's hard to understand, but Dad seems content most of the time. For that I am grateful. 

Routine Revisited

Routine revisited. 

In an earlier post I talked about how much I craved routine. I liked the productivity it seemed to bring. In reality, I think it has more to do with the predictability it brings. However, after reading Unlocking Your Creativity by Doreen Poreba, I am finding myself questioning my allegiance to routine. Poreba writes about shifting your perspective by consciously changing your routine. 

By changing your routine you open your mind to "new opportunities that can lead to creative ideas." I think the danger of routine is life begins to function on autopilot. Routine becomes so automatic that you stop thinking. 

I remember my freshman year of college always parking on the same side of the building.  Each day seemed to be identical to the next. It didn't take long before I found myself totally bored by the predictability of my life. The simple act of switching things up a little by parking on the opposite side of the building helped shake me out of my slumber. 


Sometimes in life you find yourself in a rut, and often times routine is the culprit. If you dare, throw caution to the wind and park on the opposite side. 

Just Because

Just because. 

Blogger Courtney Carver shared on her blog, Be More With Less the idea of, "Just because you are good at what you do doesn't mean you are supposed to be doing it."

If you stick with anything long enough, the chances are that you will eventually become skilled in that area, even though your heart might not be fully convinced. Although, there is satisfaction in a job well done, is there more to life than just satisfaction? 

Perhaps the lesson here is to not spend so much time doing something you really don't want to be doing? The risk you take is never venturing beyond the safety of what you have mastered. 

Now I also know that this is much easier said than done. The risk of leaving a job is often times too much of a gamble. The sense of security and the paycheck it provides might be just enough to keep you there. Have the courage to ask the question, "Are you staying just because?"

Before You Knew You Couldn't

Before you knew you couldn't. 

I was around ten years old when my neighborhood friends and I decided to put on a ballet recital. We choreographed dances, created costumes, and advertised our show to the neighborhood. Our stage was my backyard patio, and a great time was had by all.   

Now the curious thing was, that I had never taken a dance lesson in my life, let alone a ballet lesson. Oh, I had jumped and twirled around my living room floor to Herb  Albert and the Tijuana Brass for hours, but did this really qualify me as a ballet dancer? 

Someone in our group had taught us the five basic ballet positions, and between swimsuits and old ballet costumes we looked the part. Although, I was a complete novice my bossy first-born self had taken a leadership role in our production.  Oh, how I wish that spunky girl had hung around in adolescence. What she knew then was that you didn't have to hold back just because you weren't an expert at something. 

You could join in the fun, and not worry about mistakes and judgement. What I do know, is that experience led to me taking tap lessons at the local dance studio. Each week I would ride my bike there and tap my heart out. The culminating event was a real recital, on a real stage,  wearing a real costume. 

I'm glad I didn't miss out on such a fun experience because I didn't know how. 

Should

Should. 

The Crossroads of Should and Must, by Elle Luna is her posting on medium.com that went viral and resulted in a book with the same title, and a subtitle of Find and Follow Your Passion.  What struck me deeply about this posting was that I have struggled with Should most of my life. 

Over the years I have always tried to meet the expectations of others, and have become very proficient in my attempts to please others. I rarely stopped, and asked myself what I actually wanted. Rather I continued down the path of Should. 


Luna says, "There are two paths in life: Should and Must.  We arrive at this  crossroads over and over again. And each time, we get to choose."

Now for me I repeatedly turned away from Must and traveled down the road of Should, thinking It was the safer way. The irony was that it was a false road that could never lead to authenticity. In my heart I knew all along that something wasn't right because there was a restlessness in my spirit. I kept thinking something was missing, but I could never quite grasp what it was. 

Luna states that we choose Should because it results in a smooth journey with few risks. "Must is what happens when we stop conforming to other people's ideals and start connecting to our own"  Must is our "most authentic self." 

What I have found to be true, though, is that if you spend a lifetime conforming 
to the expectations of others you lose sight of your authentic self. The next time 
you find yourself at the crossroads of Should and Must, don't be so quick to think that your only choice is Should. What is it that you Must do?

Who Knew?

Who knew?

Who knew it would be so much fun to push your three month old grandson in a stroller through the grocery store?  Who knew that you wouldn't be able to stop smiling every time he burst into a grin? Who knew that watching him push his pacifier back in his mouth all by himself would make your heart swell with pride at his talent? Who knew that you would struggle to keep your eyes off of him because of his adorableness?

Who knew that being a grandparent who didn't need to worry about the grocery list, would make a trip to the grocery store so much fun!

Cultivate

Cultivate. 

What are you wanting to cultivate in your life? I'm wanting to cultivate a creative life. 

And just like a garden needing the green thumb of the gardener, leaving creativity up to chance might just result in a failed crop. Although, my experience has been limited to a little container gardening, what I do remember is that I had to tend to my garden daily. It couldn't just be hit or miss. If I failed to water my plants they would dry up and wither away. 

As I think about creativity in my life, I see the need for the same level of involvement. If I truly want a more creative life, then I have to water it daily. Now of course, each day will not 
provide the same window of opportunity, so I have to be aware of creative possibilities. 
Sometimes though, I need to actually schedule something on the calendar. 

Julia Cameron, the author of The Artist's Way, encourages weekly Artist Dates. These are planned outings that allow for creativity cultivation. They help you to view the world through fresh eyes, and can provide inspiration. They also reinforce the idea that taking time to do something creative is a priority. Make time to cultivate what is important to you. 

Logic

Logic. 

I have a logical mind. In other words I have "a proper or reasonable way of thinking about or understanding something," according to the Merriam-Webster definition of logic. 

However, this kind of thinking can get in the way of creativity and innovation. The interesting thing though, is that logic is the brain's natural way of providing safety and order. In an effort to be more innovative in our thinking, sometimes we have to push logic out of the way and embrace something completely different. 

Doreen Poreba in her book, Unlocking Your Creativity, provides several options to jumpstart innovation. Using your imagination, discarding long-held assumptions, choosing to do the opposite, breaking rules, and asking, "Why not?" and "What if?" are all ways to break free from logical thinking. I can't help but be reminded of an old Seinfeld episode where George decides to do everything the opposite of how he would have normally done things. He was met with wild success. 

Of course, sometimes we have to call upon our inner Spock to make the best decisions, but in the pursuit of creativity why not be a little illogical?

Best Made Plans

Best made plans. 

You know what they say, "The best made plans of mice and men often go awry."

My best made plans went awry yesterday after I got a one word text from my husband that simply said "accident."  I assumed he was just giving me a traffic update, until it was followed by a picture of his overturned pickup truck. 

By the time I made my way through the traffic to pick him up, they were towing his truck, and he was in quite a bit of pain. Adrenalin had masked it earlier, as he had climbed out of his truck with the help of some Good Samaritans. 

It was now evident that he needed to make a trip to the hospital. We spent several hours in the ER tending to his injuries, which although painful, we're not life threatening.  We were very grateful that even though his truck appeared to be a lost cause, he will be okay. Thank you Lord. 

Original Ideas

Original ideas. 

Professor Adam Grant recently wrote an article about kids and creativity. His simple premise was that if you want your child to change the world, then you might just need to back off. 

This is such a foreign concept today when almost every hour of a child's day is scheduled. As a society we have fully embraced the 10,000 hour rule of Malcolm Gladwell. In order to be an expert we need to put in the time; lots of it. 

Unfortunately, becoming an expert doesn't necessarily mean that you will bring anything new or unique to the table. In fact, practice may just lock us into "familiar thinking."

Grant states, "If you want your child to bring original ideas into the world, you need to let them pursue their passions, not yours." This can be hard to do when you already have a preconceived notion about your child's life and path to success. 

Why

Why?

How many of you reside in the land of what?

You know exactly what you are doing each day. You may even have the to-do list to prove it. But how often do you stop to consider why?  Are you really living the why of your life? Do you even comprehend the why? Or are you just going through the motions? 

Comedian Michael Jr. is spreading the message about knowing your why. His why is to inspire people to walk in purpose. His what is his comedy. "When you know your why, your what has more impact because you are walking in or toward your purpose." 

Many of us question our purpose. Our struggle to find meaning results in a long list of what. Instead, put you energies into discovering your WHY.