Tips in a Jar

Tips in a jar. Often times at the start of a business day an empty tip jar will be stuffed with a few dollars to encourage customers to do the same. In life we sometimes have to fill up our own tip jar as well.  In other words we need to act the way we want to be. If we want to be athletic, we need to stop and think about what an athlete does. Does he get up early and start his day with a run?  Does she make healthy food choices throughout the day? The point being is that if we want to BE a certain way then we have to ACT that way first. Start adding tips to your jar and you might be surprised at how your goals start to become achievable. By the way, I returned to the tip jar to get this picture, and yes I tipped the girl!

A New Light

A new light. Have you ever changed your mind about something? Have you ever looked at something you had seen time and time again and suddenly it hit you that you felt differently about it? This happened to me the other day and of all things it was about a pair of shoes. Now not just any pair of shoes, rather some shoes that have been popular for several years, and I couldn't for the life of me understand why. Part of the problem was the actual design. In my eyes they looked cheap and poorly made. There just didn't seem to be anything attractive about them. I also noticed that they were a little on the pricy side. However, everywhere I looked people seemed to be wearing them. At first it seemed like only teens, but over time they were popular with my generation as well. Now I did know that the company had a unique marketing strategy where for every shoe you purchased another shoe would be donated. Although, the style didn't appeal to me, the concept always seemed very philanthropic. Well guess what?  Last week as I was standing in line, the woman in front of me was wearing a pair of TOMS. And believe it or not, I couldn't help but think they were awfully cute. What? How did that happen? When did I change my mind? Well after a little investigating, I found out that the shoes were patterned after a traditional Argentinian shoe and are actually quite comfortable. Guess what shoe I'll probably be buying next?

Information Hoarder

Information hoarder. Okay, I admit it. I am an information hoarder. This became apparent by the number of things I had bookmarked on my i pad. The problem is that I hoard so much information that I either don't remember what I've saved or I become too overwhelmed by its sheer volume to do anything with it. So what's an info hoarder to do? Purge. Which is exactly what I did. At times it was a little nerve racking  that I was letting go of something I might not be able to locate again. Just like with material possessions I was holding onto downloads  just in case. I'm sure this is a total nerd problem, but I thought I would pass it along just as well as a public service announcement. 

Daughter's Day

Daughter's Day. Yesterday was daughter's day. I must say that I feel very blessed to have the daughter I have. She is my one and only child and being her mother has been the highlight of my life. When I was pregnant with her I didn't know if she was a boy or a girl. And although I had decided I would be fine with either, I remember when the doctor said, " It's a girl!" I rejoiced with a resounding "YES!" We were pretty much inseparable during her childhood, and during those teenaged years it broke my heart as she pulled away wanting more independence. However, when she left for college I found that she would come home to visit genuinely happy to see me. She is my biggest cheerleader and is always there to offer her words of wisdom. She's one smart young woman. Today we are awaiting the birth of her first child, a little boy who we couldn't be more excited about. However, I hope
 she has the privilege of having her own daughter some day. Happy Daughter's Day!!!

Discover With Fresh Eyes

I'm excited to announce that I am taking  part in a writing challenge called 31 Days. Each day in the month of October I will be posting on one topic; 31 Days of Discovery. I have been wanting to participate in this challenge ever since it began several years ago, and now that I have my own blog I can't wait to get started. Each day I'll share with you a new discovery and offer a challenge for you to consider. More than anything I would love to hear from you about your thoughts and would be honored if you would consider sharing this with your friends. Let's get started!

Discover with fresh eyes. I think French novelist Marcel Proust says it best, "The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes." I think sometimes it is easy to
get caught up in our daily living and forget to really "see" what is around us. We keep thinking that maybe if we lived somewhere else or took an amazing vacation our life would be so much better. Take some time today to really look at what is around you. Discover something you have passed by recently. Look at it with fresh eyes and allow it to fill you up.


Day 1 Challenge: Start a Discovery Journal. I like to use old fashioned composition notebooks. I have even used old greeting cards to decorate the front. This journal will be a record of your journey through the 31 Days of Discovery. Each day I will give you a brief assignment in hopes to encourage your own discovery Find three ordinary things  and jot down what you haven't noticed about them before.

Scarcity

Scarcity. Have you ever been guilty of having a scarcity mentality? Of thinking that there just might not be enough of something to go around? I know sometimes I have wondered about this and how it relates to my life. Be assured that your gifts have a place in the world. Have an attitude of abundance. Encourage others and revel in their accomplishments. Don't be stingy with a scarcity mindset. Embrace the gifts you have been given and use them to help others. When given the chance choose abundance over scarcity.

Elderly

Elderly. Well it's official. According to the news report yesterday, I will be considered elderly in ten years. Apparently if you are in your late sixties you've crossed over into the elderly range. Who knew? You see I was kind of thinking it would start happening around the back half of eighty; maybe even ninety? What happened to all that age is just a number, and sixty is the new forty stuff? Was that just a bunch of rhetoric recited by people over sixty in an attempt to remain relevant. Nothing like a little runaway alliteration to prove a point. After all, we do look to our media for the definitive word about most everything. What do you bet that newscaster was nowhere near 40? So to correct him, it appears a baby boomer was rescued. I sure hope they rescued his golf clubs as well!

Full Page

Full page. In reading the paper last week I noticed a full page obituary for a well known Dallasite who had recently passed away. Her life was being celebrated in a big way. I couldn't help but compare her full page to the other much smaller obituaries. Although, this person had lived a remarkable life, I knew that many of the smaller entries had also lived remarkable lives in their own way. What a tribute it would be for each person to have a full page remembrance of their life as well. In this same week I met a remarkable young man determined to make a difference in this world. His love for his children was apparent, and he was wanting to contribute toward their bright futures. Live your life in such a way to warrant a full page- a tribute to a full life.

Mom's Birthday

Mom's birthday. Yesterday was my Mom's birthday. She would have been eighty seven.  The last birthday she celebrated was her fiftieth. It was soon after that she was diagnosed with lung cancer. She waited until a few days after my youngest sister's birthday to have surgery. She passed away three months later. Although I was the oldest of six children and had known her the longest, her death was devastating. It happened during my first year to teach. She never had a chance to visit my first classroom, was not present at my wedding or there for the birth of my child. It was not until my own daughter was in her twenties that I realized that I had pretty much solved every problem I had in my young adult years on my own. I did not have a mother to turn to for advice. The interesting thing about losing your mother at a relatively young age is that you never really get to see her age. Several years ago I was around some older women from my church and it hit me that they were the same age as my Mom. I had never really thought about her as old. It was a strange feeling. Losing my mother taught me that we are not exempt from tragedy. Up until that point in my life nothing of any real consequence had ever happened to me. The other lesson I learned was that we can make it through the tough times. God seems to have a way of sending just the right people into your life to see you through. For me it was my best friend and roommate who was there to listen to me time and time again. She never seemed to tire of being there for me. What a blessing she was and still remains to be today. Happy Birthday Mom!

Dad's Humming

Dad's humming. I don't know if you know much about dementia, but it is a cruel disease. It robs you of your ability to communicate. It robs you of names, words, memories, thoughts and it takes no prisoners. My father has been in the later stages of dementia for the last six months, and although he is receiving excellent care it has been hard on everyone, especially him. I see the frustration in his face as he attempts to express himself. He gets about five words into the sentence and he is unable to finish his thought. He spends his days dependent on others for the things he used to take for granted. However, my Dad still can smile, and on occasion laugh about something funny. But what caught my attention the other day was that he was humming; something he used to do regularly. I found my heart taking a little leap when I heard him. Although, this crazy thing called dementia was slowly taking away the father I've always known, for one small moment we were back to the way things were. It is these small blessings that I hold fast to as time marches on.

Cooler Weather

Cooler weather. What is it about those first few days of cooler weather? The windows opened for the first time in months gasping for fresh air. You find yourself gravitating to the backyard again. The smell of the outdoors rejuvenates your soul. As the gentle breeze brushes against your arms you feel fully alive. I am definitely affected by the weather. Dark overcast days find me lethargic and unmotivated. Sunny, cool days seem to activate a motion button inside. I'm glad the days are heading toward autumn and for beautiful Texas days. How about you?

Mindset

Mindset. Do you have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset? People with a fixed mindset limit themselves by not attempting things that might bring failure. Growth mindset, on the other hand, brings opportunities to try new things, improve, and to allow for failures along the way. This idea of mindset can be explored further in Carol Dweck's book Mindset. Her studies have found that praising children for their intelligence is counter productive. Rather, praising them for their efforts opens the door for them to attempt new things. I have found in my life that I shy away from things that I might not be good at. What a waste of opportunity! Whether you are dealing with children or yourself having a growth mindset is really the better of the two. Do you have a growth mindset?

Along For the Ride

Along for the ride. I think it's really remarkable how we are able to be a part of someone else's good fortune. In fact, it is one of the ways that we experience joy. If someone is graduating, getting married or having a child it is fun to join in on the festivities. I remember being unable to shed a tear at my daughter's wedding because I could not stop smiling. It was one of the happiest days of my life as we shared it with friends and family. Now as we await the birth of our first grandchild it is so much fun to anticipate his birth together. So even though, the actual event may be happening to someone else we all our capable of being a part and enjoying it as well. I hope you go along for the ride and take part in the blessings of life.

Cooper and the Football

Cooper and the football. A year and a half ago Cooper got a little oranges stuffed football in honor of the superbowl. It is probably his most favorite toy and he plays football almost every night. As he runs between the dining room and the living room I throw my hands in the air and yell, "Touchdown!" Occasionally he lets me have the football and I send him out for a pass. He especially loves to play football with my husband. With Cooper's tail wagging and a slight growl he initiates a little football scrimmage of his own. The fun thing about the stuffed football is that it is more flat than round and it fits perfectly in Cooper's mouth. Because it is so lightweight he can easily flip it around and chase after it. I thought it only fitting this time of year to ask, "Are you ready for some football?" I know Cooper is!

Roots

Roots. "When the roots are deep, there is no need to fear the wind," is a Chinese proverb. One thing I've learned about life is that there will be storms. Luckily for many of us there seems to be more blue skies than not.  However, how you respond to these tough times might depend on the roots you have cultivated over the years. If your roots are grounded in your faith, your convictions, and your family then you have something to draw strength from when those  storms enevitably arise. I'm learning that even in the saddest moments if your roots are deep you will make it through.

Beauty

Beauty. God really does know a thing or two about beauty. Everywhere I turn in nature I see Him showing off. It's just a matter of slowing down enough to take it all in. I pass by this crape myrtle tree daily, but it wasn't until a rogue shoot decided to take off eye level that it really caught my eye. Knowing I needed to capture its beauty with my camera, I was taken aback at the vibrant color of its blossoms. With fall approaching its days are numbered, and I'm so glad it called my name today. Don't let the beauty of God's bounty pass you by. Businessman Joseph B. Wirthlin summed this up beautifully by saying, "The more often we see the things around us- even the beautiful and wonderful things-the  more they become invisible to us. That is why we often take for granted the beauty of this world: the flowers, the trees, the birds, the clouds-even those we love. Because we see things so often, we see them less and less." 

Optimism

Optimism. Are you an optimist? Now this may actually sounds like a good quality because optimists are generally hopeful, and hopeful people tend to deal with stress in a healthier way. However, there is this crazy little thing called cognitive bias. Apparently, we are hard-wired to create our own reality from our perceptions. In fact Dr. Phil always said, "Perception is reality." The way we perceive our world can sometimes make little rational sense. Because overly optimistic people look at the world though rose colored glasses they may believe it is a better place than it actually is. This results in not always being fully  prepared for the danger the world might present. So what are we to do with this tidbit of information? As much as you may want to  give the  benefit of the doubt to someone, it is important to balance your optimism with realism.  I've found that trusting that gut feeling does have some merit. Look for middle ground when it comes to your perceptions. I call it smart optimism.

The Status Quo

Status quo. Are you guilty of the status quo bias? Do you prefer for things to remain the same, even though there might be a better way?  I am guilty of this. It just seems easier to let things be, rather than to rock the boat. The interesting thing though, is I remember seeing this same trait in my father when I was in my early twenties. I used to complain about it and swear it wouldn't happen to me. Ooops, when did I become my Dad? Now on one level I see the security of the tried and true, but just doing something because you've always done it that way might not be a valid excuse anymore. The stays quo can result in a very predictable,  possibly less interesting existence. It might take a little more thought or time, but I think it might be worth it to not fall prey to the status quo.

Birds of a Feather

Birds of a feather. You have heard the old adage before and it really does ring true. As much as I want to think of myself as open minded and diverse I seem to fall back to people who think like me. This is actually called the confirmation bias. We are drawn toward people who tend to agree with our thinking. As much as I try to listen to the other side, I find myself getting frustrated. How can they so sincerely believe the way they do? Oh how I wish I could convince them of the errors of their way. I find myself argumentative and uncomfortable wishing I was hanging around with my own flock. Now I will profess respect when it comes to a difference of opinion, but I must honestly admit that I do feel more at home around those who seem to share my beliefs and values. The interesting thing though, is it pretty much works the same way with the other side. What makes it challenging in today's world is the fact that we come in contact more frequently with those who think differently from us. I'm not saying I have all the answers, but it is food for thought.

True Success

True success. In the words of Dr. Ben Carson, "True success is using the talents that God has given you to elevate other people." What a wonderful definition of something that is so misunderstood in today's world. How many people have chased success and ended up unhappy and alone?  For many of us success has been a checklist. Graduated from college. Check. Got that first real job. Check. Got married and bought my first house. Check. Had children, got a raise, moved into a bigger house and so on and so on. The list seems to be never ending and sucess is measured by a list of possessions and accomplishments. But, as nice as all these things are they will never guarantee that at the end of your life you will deem it a success. What if we instilled in our children from an early age that all of us are blessed with our own set of special gifts? What if we taught them that one gift wasn't more valuable than another? What if we stopped comparing gifts and just used them. But, the important thing to remember is that the gifts are to be used toward the betterment of others, not just ourselves. True success like Dr. Carson says lies in the fruit of these gifts.

Mistakes

Mistakes. Are you hard on yourself when you mess up?  I know I am, but I wish I would be a little easier on myself. As a teacher I remember assuring my students that mistakes were okay, and that the only way we got better at something was by making mistakes. I even had a poster that said, "Why do you think pencils have erasers?" But recently I  missed a phone call I was waiting on because I had stepped away from my phone. It wasn't anything that really couldn't wait, but I was hoping to have verification before the weekend. More than anything, I got that sinking feeling in my stomach that I had messed up. I know as a first born always pleasing my parents and doing the right thing were high on my priority list. I've basically lived my adult life this way as well. I wish I could find more of a middle ground between trying to please and being realistic about mistakes. How do you handle your mistakes?

It's a Wrap

It's a wrap. I've fallen in love with the wrap, and I'm not sure I'll ever fix a sandwhich again. Now I know this is an over statement, and that I'm also late to the wrap game, but who knew they were so amazing? Where have I been the last several years, or has it been a decade? Who knew that a whole wheat tortilla stuffed with some all natural turkey, some crisp green baby spinach, grated carrot and oh so thinly sliced red onion all topped with some spicy brown mustard could taste so delicious?  Who knew that something so delectable and satisfying could only be three points in the Weight Watcher world? Unbelievable. Partner this with some juicy red grapes and a large glass of freshly brewed unsweetened tea and you could be in  gastronomical heaven. Again this might be an over statement, but what a darn good lunch. Once again real food rocks!

He Who Speaks First

He who speaks first. Proverbs states, "The first to speak in court sounds right-- until the cross-examination begins." Today through media and social networks we are bombarded with people speaking first. And more so, others never taking the time to cross examine and just assuming that what has been said is right. My challenge to you is to take the time to check things out. Don't be too quick to agree until you have given it a little more thought. Don't hasten to label and discount another until you prepare for the cross examination. Of course, it never helps when the media gives us  more opinion than fact. This makes it harder to discern, but nontheless it can be done.