Well apparently I’ve written about reframing four times before over the last eight years. I was looking over my blog as I reached the eighth anniversary of its founding, and I found this topic to be relevant more than once.
The other day I was reading a transcript from a podcast called The Stoic Coffee Break about reframing. (Episode 241) Included in the podcast was the idea of cognitive distortions that get in the way of our thinking resulting in irrational thoughts.
One of these was All or Nothing Thinking . I remember one time sending an email to one of my favorite authors, Gretchen Rubin, about her teaching on accepting your own nature. I was quite proud of myself for embracing this mindset, and was quite surprised by her response.
Rubin wrote back, “Accept yourself, and expect more from yourself.”
She was right. It might be easy to blow off some part of your personality as just who you are, but if it effects others in a negative way then it’s time to expect more of yourself.
I like the way Rubin used the word “and.” By using “and” she took two opposing ideas, and reframed them as both having importance. In other words you don’t have to look at everything as just one way or the other.
As Erick Cloward, the creator of the podcast says, “Sometimes both options can be true.”
As I reread each of my prior reframing posts they all had a little different emphasis. However, this was a new way of looking at how reframing can be a useful tool in personal development.
Have you ever been guilty of all or nothing thinking?
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