Programmed

 

How much thought have you given to what you believe, and why you believe what you do?

Recently I listened to a talk by Father Anthony de Mello about how a program runs in our heads like a computer-“a set of demands about how the world should be, how you should be, and what you should want.”

This programming comes from your parents, your society, your culture, your religion, and your past experiences. It never really was you that determined your wants, your desires, values or attitudes. 

This programming seems to be in control when it comes to how you interact with people or experiences. It insists that its demands are met, and when they aren’t it generates negative emotions that cause you unhappiness. 

“When other people don’t live up to your computer’s expectations it torments you with frustration or anger or bitterness.”

When things are beyond your control, which they often times are, your computer insists that you react negatively. Every now and then things fall perfectly in line, and you have a fleeting moment of peace, until you don’t. 

This becomes a vicious cycle because your computer demands to be in charge, and will insist that being upset is the proper response. You live at the mercy of whether others conform to the programming of your computer. 

How others act is completely out of your control, and what might bother you may not bother someone else. The reality is that the other person is not causing the negative emotions. They are just being themselves, good or bad. Once again your programming has kicked in, and controlling your reactions. 

It would be better to realize that someone with different programming might be perceiving the situation completely differently. This truth needs to grasped before you can let go of your computer “stubbornly insisting that reality be reshaped to confirm to its programming. 

Start observing this as an outsider, and begin to see how you react differently. The action you choose to take after that is completely up to you. 

What I found especially fascinating about this idea, was the programming in my life. I want to reflect on the expectations that I unfairly have clung to over the years based on prior beliefs.

 

Are these the truths that I believe now, or do I need to reassess why I react the way I do? 

I can’t help but think that in doing so I will respond in a more peaceful manner, understanding how my computer has run the show over the years. It’s time for a little reprogramming directed by me.