Two Wrongs

I think perhaps “Two wrongs don’t make a right” is one of the most important lessons we can teach our children. 

Sometimes in our anger our first reaction is to lash out. We’ve all been guilty of this. 

Except returning in kind does not really rectify anything. It might make us feel better initially, but we can’t feel proud when we have done a wrong as well. 

Helping children to brainstorm some ideas of better ways to react to a wrong will help them more in the long run. Actually giving them tools and strategies will arm them for the future.

Teaching our children to aspire to live with integrity is a legacy of love we can leave to them. 

Moving in the Right Direction

 

“Big steps or small-it doesn’t really matter, as long as you’re moving in the right direction.”

Bob and Melinda Blanchard

I recently picked up a book from my bookshelves that caught my attention. Like many of the books I own I remember starting it, but I’m not sure I actually finished it. 

I decided to try reading it again, but this time while taking notes. I’m drawn to non-fiction personal development books. (The new name for the old self-help genre.) However, probably the combination of age and my inordinate amount of time spent on my i pad I don’t seem to be able to stay focused like I used to. 

The book I am reading is Changing Your Course- The 5 Step Guide to Getting the Life You Want, by husband and wife Bob and Melinda Blanchard. As I began reading the introduction I had to agree with their sentiment.

“As time passed, we discovered that shifting directions makes life more interesting and fulfilling.”

I have to agree that being open to possibilities and opportunities definitely makes life more interesting. In fact just today at church I spoke with one friend about wanting to learn more from her about “earthing”, another friend about having her teach me how to read a crotchet pattern, and finally a third friend about making homemade jelly. 

Throw in another fascinating conversation about Jesus and the miracle of healing, and I’d say it was a pretty good pre-church experience, and like always Pastor Mike’s message was very powerful. My point is that I think for me it’s easy to slip into the comfort and security of routine, and find my life becoming dull again. 

However, I know that for me life is so much more interesting when I throw in some variety. For Valentine’s Day this past February Chuck got me a James Avery compass ring. I always wear it with north pointing toward the top of my finger. I like to think that my ring is a gentle reminder of staying on the right path and going toward my true north following the purpose I was put on this earth to accomplish. 

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.”

Proverbs 16:9

Don’t Bite the Hand

 

“Don’t Bite the Hand that Feeds You,” according to Phrasemix means “If someone’s paying you or helping you out, you have to be careful not to make them angry or say bad things about them.”

I think this adage is good for those of us who like to take control of situations. If someone is kind enough to help you out don’t be too quick offer unsolicited advice. It’s generally not going to be received well. 

We can teach our children to think before they act, and in the long run we will be teaching them the social skills that will help them thrive in whatever path they choose. 

You Can Lead a Horse

 

According to English Club, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink,” means the following:

“ You can show people the way to find something or to do something, but you cannot force them to act after that.”

In wondering about the meaning behind this adage I researched further and learned that horses can be very finicky about which water they will drink. This can be extremely frustrating as a horse “need 5-10 gallons a day in order to stay hydrated and healthy.” (horsedrinker.com)

I have a friend who used to be a life coach. However, lamented to me the fact that clients often refused to do their homework. 

Although she may have come armed with many practical tips and ideas they basically were falling on deaf ears, because their client would not “drink.”

Over time she found herself coaching less and less, because she really had no real control over the results. 

In teaching this lesson to our children we need to remind them what they actually have control over. They are responsible for their own actions, and although they might try hard to influence others, ultimately their actions are up to them. 

Kathy

 

Growing up an Army brat  for the first eleven years of my life I don’t have many of those childhood friendships that have lasted over the years. So being able to stand here today to remember a friendship that lasted fifty years is more than special to me. In fact, I count that friendship as one of my greatest blessings. 

Although Kathy and I attended elementary school, junior high and high school together, our friendship really didn’t begin until our junior year when we were fortunate enough to share several classes together. I think it was probably in our typing class that our friendship really blossomed. Kathy shared my off-beat sense of humor and together one day after lunch where we rescued a few pickles from a hamburger Save the Pickle Foundation was founded.  Our creativity took off as we began typing about famous pickles from the past. It was then I knew I had met a kindred spirit. 

During our senior year we served together as officers in Y-Teens and helped behind the scenes with make-up and costumes for several theater productions. Although, it was hard work, what I remember most about Kathy was no matter what we were doing we always had fun. 

Kathy and I attended different colleges, but would always manage to get together when we were home during the summer. When we both began teaching, although in separate districts, we still remained friends. Kathy was even kind enough to loan Kim Sanford and I her dining room table for our first apartment.  

After I got married, though,  I moved to the Frisco area , and as often happens we kind of drifted apart. As you can imagine when I was invited to join a group of former high school classmates in the early 2000s, I was thrilled to be able to rekindle our friendship. We basically picked up where we left off. 

So ever since I’ve been blessed to see Kathy each month as our group, the Yee Haws, has met for dinner at El Felix, along with having traveled together as far as Lake Tahoe, along with several other Texas weekend getaways.

More times than I can count Kathy hosted us at her beautiful White Bluff home. She was so hospitable as she wined and dined us, and always made us feel right at home. I have so many fond memories of the time we spent together there sitting out on her screened  porch watching the deer come up to feed. 

Kathy had a way of telling a story that kept you mesmerized while sitting around the table. In fact, as I have looked back at pictures Kathy always seemed to be front and center as we all gathered around her. And of course her beautiful  smile always shone through. I’m going to miss that smile and her infectious laugh. There certainly is an empty seat at the table now. 

Even though the last years of Kathy’s life were challenging she somehow didn’t allow that to hold her back from living life to the fullest. She always seemed to find a way to spend time with those she loved. She always reminded us that in the end it was love that would win.

I feel honored and blessed that I got to spend time with her just a few days before her passing. As we left we really had no idea if we would see her again. That was a very strange feeling. What I do know, though, is that Kathy had a strong faith that allowed her to transition from her earthly life to a heavenly one where she knew she would once again be reunited with her family. 

I certainly have a hole in my heart at her passing, but count myself so fortunate and blessed to have called her friend all these many years, and rest in the love we shared. 

Take It With

“Take it with a grain of salt,” is an adage I had to research further. To be honest I wasn’t 100% sure exactly what it meant. Merriam-Webster dictionary defines grain of salt as a skeptical attitude. 

According to Kelly Kuehn author of Where Did the Phrase “Take it With a Grain of Salt” Come From?

“When the authenticity of information is questionable, we tell others to take it with a grain of salt.”

In other words if you are not completely confident that the information you are sharing is totally correct or true, you might warn the recipient of the information to “take it with a grain of salt.”

Hopefully, the other person will be motivated to do more research on their own. 

The lesson here for our children is not to believe everything they are told or read. If something sounds off, or the source is questionable takr the extra time to delve further. 

In Kuehn’s research into the original meaning of the phrase she found evidence from 77 AD where the salt was considered an antidote for poison. 

Interestingly words and information can be quite poisonous if delivered maliciously. Use the antidote of “taking it with a grain of salt” to discern the truth. 

(I’m including a picture of my favorite kind of salt, Redmond’s Real Salt )

                                                                                            https://redmond.life/collections/real-salt

All’s Well

“All’s well, that ends well,” is a lesson I taught my five year old grandson today, along with not giving up when things don’t go as planned. 

He had been hard at work assembling his latest Lego set when it appeared that he was missing a critical piece. I tried to convince him to continue without it, but he was adamant that he didn’t want to. His enthusiasm for the project took a 180 degree turn for the worse. 

In my attempt to address the teachable moment of not allowing one wrong thing to get you off track I decided to look for the piece in another set. After combing through several sets I was able to locate a matching piece. 

He continued on until he realized that he had inadvertently placed the “missing piece” in the wrong location. As it turned out he had all the pieces he needed, and within a matter of moments he had completed his Miles Morales car. 

After a quick reading of The Tortoise and the Hare to reinforce tenacity and not giving up so quickly, I ended the lesson with, “All’s well that ends well.”

Later He asked if I could post his Lego car on my blog, so how could I not comply. 

I’ve found that a lot of those old adages we learned as kids are well worth continuing to teach to our kids today.