Happy Birthday!

Happy Fourth Birthday Grace Found Daily! 

Four years ago today I pressed Publish with some trepidation. I was so compelled to write, and  share my thoughts with others, however I felt somewhat audacious for wanting to. After all who was I to think that I had anything of value to share with the world?

Sometimes we think that what we do, must first be approved of by some powers that be, before it can be considered worthy. If there is any creative endeavor that calls your name, and I truly believe we all are creative in our own way, don’t hold back. 

Share your spark with the world!

Who Directs Your Steps?

Who directs your steps?

When I was in my twenties I used to worry a lot.  Even though, I knew that I should trust God, for some reason I just couldn’t do it. Time and time again I tried to control all situations, and as a result found myself in a constant state of anxiety worrying about what might go wrong. 

Fast forward about forty years, and I find myself in a completely different state. I have learned to trust God, and his timing. The words of Proverbs 16:9, “The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps,” helps to remind me who actually is in charge. 

That being said, sometimes opportunities present themselves in such a way that you have no doubt the hand of the Lord must be involved. Except, that sometimes they don’t play out as you imagined they should, and you come away confused or hurt wondering why you had been led in that direction? You see it’s easy to think that if God is ordering our steps then everything should turn out just perfectly, but sometimes that is not the case.

That’s where the real trust comes into play. Sometimes we have to just try something out in order to learn which direction not to go. Sometimes we need to spend just enough time doing something to fully convince ourselves that it is not where we need to be at that moment.

I remember once being offered a teaching position during my retirement years, and although I had some reservations I pushed them aside thinking that this must be part of God’s plan since it had literally popped into my life out of the blue. I reluctantly accepted the position, and found myself regretting it right away. It was too many hours, and too young of an age for me. I kept wondering why it had been offered to me in the first place if I was feeling so negatively about it? What I learned from that long nine month experiment was that it was time for me to move forward, and time to stop identifying only as an elementary school teacher. 

I truly believe that God uses both good and bad situations to teach us the lessons we need to learn, and you need to be paying attention. Sometimes the lessons have to do with you and your personal growth, and sometimes they have to do with your relationships with others. 

It seems over the last few years I’ve come across more of these situations, or maybe it’s just that I’ve become more aware of His hand in my life. Sometimes as I head down a path certain it is the right direction, I later find that it was put there to help me better understand what I didn’t want. Kind of like a process of elimination as you hone into the purpose you were placed on this earth to accomplish. 

The lesson I’ve learned from this is to be open to the people and opportunities that are put in your path, and to be open to the lessons they might provide. Both joy and sorrow are all a part of life, but putting your trust in God will allow you to make it through even the toughest times. 

“If we will walk humbly with our God, he will lead us by the hand to exactly who and what we need, to those people, things, and experiences he has designed and intended just for us, and this alone will be the cause of deep fulfillment and happiness.”

Matthew Kelly

Living by Default

Living by default. 

John C. Maxwell reminds us, “I used to think life was lived by default, not by design.”

When you become aware of this you can no longer plead ignorance to the life you may be living, especially if it is one you never intended to live. 

It is easier to live by default. 

I remember a conversation I once had with a woman I had met at the library. She told me that she had lived in the area for nine years. Then as if hearing herself for the first time she lamented the fact that she had never planned to stay there so long. 

Although individual days and weeks can sometimes take forever, years have a way of creeping up on us. Before you know it nine years have passed by, and you are still living the same life you were nine years before. 

Don’t fall into the trap of the default life. Don’t wait until a better time to begin the life you’ve always wanted. Start designing it today. 

Boundaries

Boundaries.

Lorne Michaels the creator of Saturday Night Live
 was asked in an interview by Alec Baldwin why he chose to stay on network tv and not make the leap to the less restrictive platform of cable? Lorne replied, “There’s no creativity without boundaries.”

The boundaries of network standards had provided a parameter for his creativity. Now whether you are like me or not, and prefer the old school SNL, Michaels has been creating for over forty years within the boundaries of an ever changing network. 

This got me to thinking about the other built in boundaries we have in our lives. Rules, regulations, and even the Ten Commandments are all ways to check our actions, and allow us to function in a manner that brings about civility. 

Unfortunately, these boundaries seem to be lacking in many other areas of daily living. As a result we seem to have become coarser in our talk, have thrown civil discourse out the window, and have very little regard for the truth anymore. 

Boundaries shouldn’t be regarded as barriers to living our best and most creative life, rather they help to keep things in check. When anything goes, than often times we are left in the wake of another’s destructiveness. 

I feel sometimes for this younger generation who we allowed not to be constrained by the boundaries of our youth. In our attempts to shelter them from the consequences of their actions we created a world without a roadmap to help guide them. Now I’ll be the first to say, thanks to the influence of my husband, veering off that map every now and then does have its benefits. 

However, when you can do whatever you want regardless, it’s often times hard to know what to do. Choosing to allow boundaries in your life helps you to hone in on creating a more satisfying life, because it allows you enough security to do so. 

Of course, this is only my humble opinion, but I do think it might be worth considering. 

The Curse of Perfectionism-or All or Nothing Thinking

The curse of perfectionism- or all or nothing thinking. 

I don’t know about you, but I find myself falling prey to the myth of perfection around this time of year. Since we are now on the back half of January how are all those resolutions you made doing? Have you been able to stay on track most of the time?

Now actually if that is true then I’d say you are doing really well. However, for the perfectionist “most of the time” is often times not good enough, and can be paramount to not at all. For some reason it’s either all or nothing when it comes to reaching your goals. 

Once I gained four pounds on a cruise, and threw my hands up in despair. I just gave up, and I was thirty pounds heavier the next time I walked into a Weight Watchers meeting. My all or nothing thinking had kept me from just moving on and losing the four pounds I’d gained. “What’s the point?” seemed to be my mantra. 

However, don’t fall victim to allowing “the perfect to be the enemy of the good.” The truth is that what we do most of the time really outweighs what we do every now and then. So if you are still walking more days than not, or refraining from a daily dessert and leaving it for the weekend then beating yourself up in the long run doesn’t help. 

Hopefully, you are still moving forward in whatever you hoped to do differently this year. Be aware if you suffer from “all or nothing thinking” and don’t let it get in the way of living the life you truly want. 

That Darn Cat

That Darn Cat. 

This weekend was my precious grandson’s first birthday. Friday eveningwe picked up his other set of grandparents at the airport, and they were spending the night with us. Our plan was to leave early the next morning to make our way to our daughter and son-in-law’s home. 

Although, we are now living in a smart home with Alexa and an i phone, Chuck and I are still living in the nineties when it comes to alarm clocks. Heck, if it was good enough for us to use almost thirty years why shouldn’t it be good enough for us today?

Well, after what happened on Saturday we may have to rethink this one. 

I had set the alarm for 6:30, in order to hit the road by 8:00. When it went off that morning I got up and took my shower. After getting out of the shower, Chuck entered the bathroom and asked me if I knew what time it was? Well I was assuming some time around 6:45, but I was completely wrong. 

NO it was actually 4:45!!!!

Now, how in the world did that happen? I began to wonder if I was losing my mind? How in the world did the alarm go off two hours early?

And then it hit me. The CAT!!!

Normally Abby chooses not to sleep with us at night, but I think because Brittany’s in-laws were spending the night just down the hall the cat decided that our bed was the better choice. Except for when she didn’t. She made her way on and off of our bed several times that night, always announcing her presence with a loud purring sound. 

Her modus operandi was to jump on and off of the end table to make her way to the bed. Her almost fifteen year old body is not as spry as it once was, and I’m thinking that one of the times she jumped off she must have landed on the alarm clock just long enough to fast forward the hour by two. 

So there I was fully clean, but two hours too early. So what did I do? Well, went back to bed of course, and gave myself an extra thirty minutes to sleep. Except this time I asked Alexa to wake me up at seven.  

I guess it’s time to enter the twenty first century. 

Job, Career, Calling

Job, career, calling. 

Elle Luna in her book, The Crossroads of Should and Must writes about the differences between a job, a career and a calling. 

She defines them as:

Job-“Something typically done from 9-5for pay.

Career-“A system of advancements and promotions over time where rewards are used to optimize behavior.”

Calling- “Something that we feel compelled to do regardless of fame or fortune; the work is the reward.”

As I considered the three I wanted to automatically think that a job was the worst and a calling was the best. Except my judgement was off base because a job might be the best way to further a calling.  

If your job does not leave you exhausted and mentally spent at the end of the day, but still pays the bills, then you may have time to do what you really love. So a job might not be so bad after all. 

A career on the other hand, might leave you with a sense of accomplishment, and accolades, but in the long run might get in the way of the thing you really want to do. My generation of women were pressed to have a career even at the expense of our future children. 

I used to refer to my thirty-one years in education as my career, but in reevaluating this I now know it was a calling. It actually began as a job, as a way to secure my future and pay my bills. I had not been one of those young girls who played school and dreamed of being a teacher.  

But over time it morphed into a calling. However, not in the usual sense of many of my co-workers whose heart drew them into the profession. I found myself drawn to the creativity involved in teaching, and the desire to motivate and encourage. Although, some years were difficult my love for the classroom and my students was real. 

As I think back on the time I was in the classroom more than anything I had the freedom to do the work I was compelled to do. Although, compared to other professions the monetary gain was less, but I really can’t imagine having done anything else. 

When teaching moved from being a calling to being a career I knew it was time to retire. Today I find my calling to be writing. It is something I am compelled to do, and it in itself is the reward. 

So as you contemplate your own life don’t be too quick to judge which path is the best, and don’t discount that a calling must require a paycheck.