2023 Revisited

 

2023 brought many fun opportunities, and a few sad moments too. 

The year began with a new car, that technically was purchased a few days before in December. After ten years and almost 200,000 miles we traded in the Rav 4 for a Toyota Highlander Hybrid. We have thoroughly enjoyed the new SUV with its quieter, smoother ride. Even the green color has grown on us as we now think it’s quite fetching. One new thing that began this year was a weekly car wash to keep the new car clean. 

After a visit to Intermission Bookstore in Brownwood I was inspired to start a new blog dedicated to all things books, and to visit as many independent bookstores as possible in the local area. I visited seven in all in Texas, and one in Ruidiso, New Mexico. 

Sadly in February, our beloved dog Honey was killed on Hwy 6. We had only had her for a few months, and had never lost a dog before over such a short period of time. She had become such a part of our family, and coupled with the loss of dear Ranger, our kitten, a few months earlier we were quite sad. In honor of Honey, I got a James Avery paw charm in the shape of a heart as a remembrance to her. 

In March my dear friend Kathy who I had known since high school passed away after a long illness. I felt blessed to have spent time with her in the prior months, along with my Yee Haw high school friends. 

Throughout the year Chuck and I made several day trips to surrounding communities. Over the months we visited Hico, Thurber, Graham, Possum Kingdom Lake, Clifton, Hamilton, Goldthwaite, and Marble Falls. 

Some of our favorite sites were the Ghost Town museum in Thurber, the Valley Mills Winery, and lunch at Possum Kingdom Lake  at the Hemingway Craft House. 

In the spring Chuck planted a garden, and by summer we were overrun by squash and cucumbers. Our tomatoes never really flourished, and I spent my time trying to figure out what to do with our plethora of produce. I also learned how to can jelly from a friend at church. 

During the hot summer months we ended up losing four chickens in total- three in one day. Our mean rooster Romeo succumbed to the 110 degree days, and his reign of terror ended. Chuck literally had to tend to the chickens with a broom in hand for his own protection. Although Romeo was a beautiful bird, I don’t think we’ll ever want a rooster again. Somehow the two girls that we have left have kept us in eggs throughout the fall. 

I watched the boys two days a week until August when school started again. Hayes started kindergarten along with Casen starting second grade. Levi’s babysitter wasn’t ideal so I agreed to watch him three days a week. He’s been a lot of fun, and I enjoy our time together. He’s growing up so fast, and is basically two going on to twenty-two. He definitely keeps us laughing. 

Summer was quite brutal with 108 degree days, and us locked in the house with the blinds shut. Chuck and I dreamed about spending summers in Colorado. 

In September we had a much needed vacation to Ruidoso, New Mexico. Brittany helped us find the perfect vacation rental, and we enjoyed the cooler weather, and the beautiful scenery. It was just what we needed to refresh our spirits after such a long, hot summer. 

Throughout the year I attended my Tuesday night Bible Study, and my retired teachers’ meeting here in De Leon. I ended up giving up my once a month Wednesday lunch in the fall when I added an extra day to my babysitting schedule. 

I visited with my Yee Haw friends as often as possible, and ended the year meeting Kim in Granbury for lunch. I faithfully worked out at the gym two days a week, and got a good report on my bone density test. Apparently, my osteoporosis had gone back to osteopenia as my body began producing bone again. I had a mammogram, and a colonoscopy which all turned out well. 

I didn’t quite read as many books as I would have liked, but I did continue to write my two blogs throughout the year. I did my 31 Day Writing Challenge in October on curiosity.

For my birthday in July, I asked for my own small desk, and set up an area for me to work in the guest room. I dabbled a little with junk journaling, and spent time writing.

Each evening as Chuck and I watched several tv series on Netflix I would spend time doing my favorite thing-coloring. I was able to pick up coloring books for a great price at Ollie’s in Stephenville.  

We celebrated birthdays, Easter, Mother’s and Father’s Day, along with Thanksgiving and Christmas at our house. The boys spent the night several times included a Star Wars movie night with light sabers. 

Once again we were all able to spend Christmas Eve with my family at my sister Carol’s beautiful home. It’s a tradition I definitely want to keep. 

I must say it was a pretty good year overall, and I feel quite blessed to be so close to my family. I’m looking forward to 2024 as I’m drawn more to even numbered years. 

Choices- Day 10

 

“When you stay safe and sound at shore, you’ll never set sail and really choose the good life.”  Alexandra Stoddard

This idea has really come to life for me over the last seven years. Chuck and I have moved three times, and sold and moved our belongings from the farm we had in Wolfe City. 

It appears that many people don’t move too far from where they were born. Not to say this is a bad thing, but it is a choice to stay vs venturing out. 

According to Stoddard, “We are an expression of our exposure.” Now this doesn’t mean that you immediately have to move away, although maybe it’s time. Rather start simply by exploring somewhere new close by.

Chuck and I enjoy taking day trips one to two hours away. We like to explore small towns, eat at new restaurants, and enjoy taking in the sights. Each time we return to the known and comfortable I feel a little revived by our simple adventure. 

Look for the opportunities around you to expand your horizons. Recently I came across the saying, “Evolve, don’t revolve.” How many times have I simply repeated the next year?

I hope to reflect more on what it means to evolve in the upcoming year. I want to enlarge not restrict my view of the world, and challenge myself to leave the safety of the harbor. 

Again I need to remind myself that the choices I make or don’t make will determine much of my future. I want to choose wisely. 

Choices- Day 9

 “We can’t be expected to find what we love without reaching out for new, exciting experiences.” Alexandra Stoddard 

I always find this time of year an exciting time. The new year opens the door to new opportunities. Especially when we take an active role in pursuing them. 

I’m not always successful in completing all my goals, but even if I accomplish only a fraction of them, that is better than not attempting at all. 

Stoddard reminds us that, “We can expose ourselves to an infinitely vast range of possibilities.” 

Think about the things that excite you. This is what I love and envy about young children. They are naturally excited about life, and their emotions bubble forth with that excitement. 

Stoddard suggests thinking about what we don’t care for as an avenue to discovering what we do love. When I finally admitted that I really didn’t care much about professional football I ended up with more time to spend on a Sunday afternoon doing what I really enjoyed. 

However, attending one of my grandson’s games is a whole different ballgame. One of the things I love most about my life is getting to spend time with my grandsons. 

One way to reconnect with what you love is to remember the things you enjoyed doing as a child. Coloring was always something fun to me, and today I still enjoy doing so. Except, I now use Prismacolor colored pencils,and coloring books with higher quality paper. I enjoy coloring at night while watching, or should I say, listening to tv. 

I like the way Stoddard reminds us that, “There’s no such thing as a person with too many interests.”

Again the choice is up to us. So as you consider the new year, consider Stoddard’s advice: “We become interesting when we’re engaged in things we love.” 

Choices- Day 8

 “But as we know we can never please everyone.” Alexandra Stoddard

Why is this truth so hard to believe? Where did we get the idea that we should strive to please?

Stoddard points out, “That when we try to, we often create a false front, changing ourselves depending on who we are trying to impress.”

I wonder if we are even aware of what we are doing? Have we done it for so long that we have become unaware of doing so?

The reality is that we really don’t have to prove ourselves to anyone. When we make the conscious choice to accept this reality we can stop trying to please the world. It’s our own “inner compass” that Stoddard insists should be our guide. 

As difficult as it may seem at times being a nonconformist is not necessarily a bad thing. And yet sometimes I have trouble shaking that uneasy feeling that someone might think less of me because of my opinions. 

The choice to conform just to be liked might be something to reflect on, and learning to be comfortable with the discomfort of not always being accepted by the group might be something to consider. 

Choices-Day 7

(Photo Credit- Brittany Beahm)

 “The wisest way to live is to choose to enjoy what is actually available to you right now, right here.” Alexandra Stoddard

Stoddard encourages us to not fixate on what we don’t have, but rather to chose to enjoy what we do have. Of course, this does not mean that you never have aspirations for more. It’s just that life is a journey, and not just a destination. 

Enjoy what you have along the way, rather than always longing for something you don’t have. 

She also stresses not to have unrealistic expectations that only end in disappointment. “None of us embraces failure, but we often set ourselves up for disappointment when we ask or expect more than is realistic.”

We can certainly choose to live a good life without demanding perfection. Look at each experience as an opportunity to choose. Stoddard concludes, “We are never in a choiceless moment.”

As I look back over my life I don’t know if my choice to live life in this manner was a conscious choice or not. I do know that losing my mother at a young age influenced me as to the preciousness of life, and not to just assume that there will always be tomorrow. 

I take great pleasure in the simple things of life. It is a wonderful way to live. 

“Take one thing with another, and the world is a pretty good sort of a world, and it is our duty to make the best of it, and be thankful.”  Ben Franklin

Choices-Day 6

 

“Question everything and you will discover what you are looking for and will deepen your knowledge.”  Alexandra Stoddard

If the last few years have taught me anything it is to question what you are being told. It is so easy to accept what you hear on the news as the truth. 

However, if you begin to question the narrative you might find yourself thinking differently. Here is where your ability to choose comes into play. 

Sadly, it seems that people who ask questions are quickly pigeonholed into negative categories. While others refuse to even acknowledge the possibility of other points of view being valid. 

As you make these choices along the way try to discover credible sources. If you find someone who historically has been well regarded, and find that he or she is now being discounted, it should give you pause. 

Be open to the other point of view, but don’t automatically think that you are wrong. Following our instincts can help us to maneuver a rocky path. 

 

                                

Choices-Day 5

 

“When we make a serious commitment to live a good life we have to be mindful and truthful in all our choices.”

Alexandra Stoddard

So here’s the thing about choices. When we make them there is always an element of uncertainty. Some people suffer from analysis paralysis, hoping that if they eventually gather enough information their choices will be smarter. 

However, you can always find out one more thing, but if doing so causes you never to make a decision then your choice has actually been to do nothing. 

Sometimes we regret our choices, but unless you have done something illegal or immoral living in a state of regret is no way to live your life. 

Stoddard reminds us that, “Choice by definition contains ambiguity.” Being comfortable with ambiguity is easier said than done, though.

However, many of our choices can be adjusted if they don’t work out as expected. It’s important to strive to make the best choice, but to be flexible as well. You need to monitor your choices to make sure they are beneficial to you, but at the same time you need to consider how they will effect others. Always putting yourself first is not necessarily a good thing. However, putting yourself last, in the long run, is not productive. 

Remember the toothpaste analogy. Some of our choices have consequences that cannot be undone. Remember as Stoddard reminds us, “You are your choices.”

“Life is the sum of all choices.”

Albert Camus

Choices- Day 4

 

“We can choose to be our best selves and to become all we are capable of becoming.”

Alexandra Stoddard

Aristotle believed in what he called the “Golden Mean.” This was the balance between too much and too little.

When you think about it you can see how living life in the extremes might not be the best choice. When all we can think about is getting more of something it can cause life to become off kilter. Having more of something doesn’t automatically guarantee happiness. 

Of course, on the other hand, denying yourself too much can also be counterproductive. There is an old saying, “All things in moderation,” that seems to ring true time and time again. 

Sadly, I make the choice to engage in “all or nothing” thinking which results in me easily being discouraged since I can’t live up to the impossible standard I set. 

Interestingly when I first began to write this I didn’t really entertain the idea that this style of thinking was a choice. I think in my mind I just thought it was how I was wired, and something I must endure. 

The truth is I choose to live with too much sugar, or too little dessert. Finding that “Golden Mean” is my choice to make. 

I often remind myself that “Life is too short,” and certainly not a “dress rehearsal.” We have the choice to determine how and how much we want to live the days we have left on this earth.

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 Choose wisely, my friend. 

Choices-Day 3

 

“We have to seek and find what is true, good and beautiful.”

Alexandra Stoddard 

When you think of living the “good life” what comes to mind? What I might consider may be completely different from what you consider good. However, I think we can all be influenced by the wisdom of the ancient philosophers. 

Aristotle taught that the good life was composed of three things: truth, goodness and beauty. He believed that living a life of “moral excellence” would lead to happiness. However, he was honest to admit that doing so was not always easy. 

Alexander Stoddard points out that often “we expect too little of ourselves.” She encourages us not to “just get by, but to choose to thrive.”

Using Aristotle as our guide striving to be truthful with others and ourselves, choosing goodness in what we do, and appreciating the beauty even in the mundane can contribute to a better life. 

Our modern day culture can make happiness complicated and elusive. Keeping up with the Jones can be a never ending quest that leaves us feeling unfulfilled. 

In her travels as a young woman Stoddard came across a missionary couple in India who made the choice to live the good life. 

“When we have our favorite books, fresh flowers, meaningful work, and the companionship of each other, this is all we need to be happy.”

What beautiful words to live by. What can you do to include more truth, goodness and beauty in your life?

Choices- Day 2

 

“Every choice we make has far-reaching consequences; all actions do.”

Alexandra Stoddard

This concept of cause and effect left me thinking about how really important our choices are. They are not something to be approached haphazardly.

Stoddard reminds us that each of our choices make a difference, either for good or for bad. 

She states, “Determine the value of an action by weighing it against the value of the consequence.”

It made me realize that if I made a choice out of anger or bitterness I might not be able to change the trajectory of that choice. Consequentialism is the name for this action. Think about the logical consequences of actions not well thought out. 

I like to use the idea of once the toothpaste is squeezed out of the tube it cannot be returned. In other words choose wisely your actions, and keep in mind if your actions will truly bring your desired results. 

It’s easy to ignore the fact that one unpleasant circumstance can be replaced by another if we are quick to act. In fact Emerson reminds us that “Cause and effect are two sides of one fact.”

This is why we must stay diligent to the idea that we are our choices. 

“Wisdom consists of anticipation of consequences.”

Norman Cousins

Choices-Day 1

 

“The good life has no boundaries, only opportunities.”

Alexander Stoddard

I think it’s sometimes easier to look at what we can’t do vs what we can. There is some sort of comfort in not having to try. Trying requires hard work, sacrifice and self-discipline. All three of these things can cause discomfort; something that we often try to avoid. 

Rather than use the excuse of not being able to do something perhaps we should choose to consider it as an opportunity. Even if that opportunity might be limited to some degree, choosing to give it a go will result in personal growth. The Greek philosopher Aristotle reminds us that there are good choices and wrong choices. 

The important thing is that we should strive to make the right choice the majority of the time, even though that choice might be hard to follow through with. 

If I want to maintain my weight then I need to be mindful of the food choices I make. Recently I concluded that I was feeling hungry too soon after eating a meal. After a little research I learned that people over sixty require more protein throughout the day than we did in our younger years.

As I thought about it I realized that I was not including enough protein in my meals resulting in feeling hungry quickly after eating. This week I made a conscious choice at the grocery store to choose more high protein snacks and lunch options. 

I’m hoping to feel more satiated after each meal, and perhaps not return to the pantry for a not so healthy snack. To be honest it would be so much easier to just throw my hands up in the air and say, “Forget about it!” However, I know in my heart of hearts I would not actually be happy with the end results. Maintaining my weight is a choice I’ve made that will require constant vigor. I must accept this, and stop indulging in the “magical thinking” of wishing things to be different than they actually are. 

“The bad life will not lead us to the good life.”

Alexandra Stoddard

Choices

 

“It’s choice-not chance-that determines your destiny.”

Jean Nidetch

I’ve been reading a book by Alexandra Stoddard called You Are Your Choices. I first became acquainted with Stoddard back in the 90s and have read several of her books over the years. I always loved her philosophy of life, and was intrigued by her book about choices. 

I ordered the book through a third party vendor and actually received a signed copy. You can imagine my surprise and delight. Stoddard’s book is a collection of fifty essays about choice. I thought I might write about some of these ideas during the month of December. 

I like the idea of how the choices we make determine who we are. I can’t say that I’m proud of every choice I make, and I have to admit those choices can hinder the quality of my life. I’m hoping to be inspired to be more aware of those choices, and how I determine each one.