Happy Birthday!

Happy Fourth Birthday Grace Found Daily! 

Four years ago today I pressed Publish with some trepidation. I was so compelled to write, and  share my thoughts with others, however I felt somewhat audacious for wanting to. After all who was I to think that I had anything of value to share with the world?

Sometimes we think that what we do, must first be approved of by some powers that be, before it can be considered worthy. If there is any creative endeavor that calls your name, and I truly believe we all are creative in our own way, don’t hold back. 

Share your spark with the world!

Who Directs Your Steps?

Who directs your steps?

When I was in my twenties I used to worry a lot.  Even though, I knew that I should trust God, for some reason I just couldn’t do it. Time and time again I tried to control all situations, and as a result found myself in a constant state of anxiety worrying about what might go wrong. 

Fast forward about forty years, and I find myself in a completely different state. I have learned to trust God, and his timing. The words of Proverbs 16:9, “The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps,” helps to remind me who actually is in charge. 

That being said, sometimes opportunities present themselves in such a way that you have no doubt the hand of the Lord must be involved. Except, that sometimes they don’t play out as you imagined they should, and you come away confused or hurt wondering why you had been led in that direction? You see it’s easy to think that if God is ordering our steps then everything should turn out just perfectly, but sometimes that is not the case.

That’s where the real trust comes into play. Sometimes we have to just try something out in order to learn which direction not to go. Sometimes we need to spend just enough time doing something to fully convince ourselves that it is not where we need to be at that moment.

I remember once being offered a teaching position during my retirement years, and although I had some reservations I pushed them aside thinking that this must be part of God’s plan since it had literally popped into my life out of the blue. I reluctantly accepted the position, and found myself regretting it right away. It was too many hours, and too young of an age for me. I kept wondering why it had been offered to me in the first place if I was feeling so negatively about it? What I learned from that long nine month experiment was that it was time for me to move forward, and time to stop identifying only as an elementary school teacher. 

I truly believe that God uses both good and bad situations to teach us the lessons we need to learn, and you need to be paying attention. Sometimes the lessons have to do with you and your personal growth, and sometimes they have to do with your relationships with others. 

It seems over the last few years I’ve come across more of these situations, or maybe it’s just that I’ve become more aware of His hand in my life. Sometimes as I head down a path certain it is the right direction, I later find that it was put there to help me better understand what I didn’t want. Kind of like a process of elimination as you hone into the purpose you were placed on this earth to accomplish. 

The lesson I’ve learned from this is to be open to the people and opportunities that are put in your path, and to be open to the lessons they might provide. Both joy and sorrow are all a part of life, but putting your trust in God will allow you to make it through even the toughest times. 

“If we will walk humbly with our God, he will lead us by the hand to exactly who and what we need, to those people, things, and experiences he has designed and intended just for us, and this alone will be the cause of deep fulfillment and happiness.”

Matthew Kelly

Living by Default

Living by default. 

John C. Maxwell reminds us, “I used to think life was lived by default, not by design.”

When you become aware of this you can no longer plead ignorance to the life you may be living, especially if it is one you never intended to live. 

It is easier to live by default. 

I remember a conversation I once had with a woman I had met at the library. She told me that she had lived in the area for nine years. Then as if hearing herself for the first time she lamented the fact that she had never planned to stay there so long. 

Although individual days and weeks can sometimes take forever, years have a way of creeping up on us. Before you know it nine years have passed by, and you are still living the same life you were nine years before. 

Don’t fall into the trap of the default life. Don’t wait until a better time to begin the life you’ve always wanted. Start designing it today. 

Boundaries

Boundaries.

Lorne Michaels the creator of Saturday Night Live
 was asked in an interview by Alec Baldwin why he chose to stay on network tv and not make the leap to the less restrictive platform of cable? Lorne replied, “There’s no creativity without boundaries.”

The boundaries of network standards had provided a parameter for his creativity. Now whether you are like me or not, and prefer the old school SNL, Michaels has been creating for over forty years within the boundaries of an ever changing network. 

This got me to thinking about the other built in boundaries we have in our lives. Rules, regulations, and even the Ten Commandments are all ways to check our actions, and allow us to function in a manner that brings about civility. 

Unfortunately, these boundaries seem to be lacking in many other areas of daily living. As a result we seem to have become coarser in our talk, have thrown civil discourse out the window, and have very little regard for the truth anymore. 

Boundaries shouldn’t be regarded as barriers to living our best and most creative life, rather they help to keep things in check. When anything goes, than often times we are left in the wake of another’s destructiveness. 

I feel sometimes for this younger generation who we allowed not to be constrained by the boundaries of our youth. In our attempts to shelter them from the consequences of their actions we created a world without a roadmap to help guide them. Now I’ll be the first to say, thanks to the influence of my husband, veering off that map every now and then does have its benefits. 

However, when you can do whatever you want regardless, it’s often times hard to know what to do. Choosing to allow boundaries in your life helps you to hone in on creating a more satisfying life, because it allows you enough security to do so. 

Of course, this is only my humble opinion, but I do think it might be worth considering. 

The Curse of Perfectionism-or All or Nothing Thinking

The curse of perfectionism- or all or nothing thinking. 

I don’t know about you, but I find myself falling prey to the myth of perfection around this time of year. Since we are now on the back half of January how are all those resolutions you made doing? Have you been able to stay on track most of the time?

Now actually if that is true then I’d say you are doing really well. However, for the perfectionist “most of the time” is often times not good enough, and can be paramount to not at all. For some reason it’s either all or nothing when it comes to reaching your goals. 

Once I gained four pounds on a cruise, and threw my hands up in despair. I just gave up, and I was thirty pounds heavier the next time I walked into a Weight Watchers meeting. My all or nothing thinking had kept me from just moving on and losing the four pounds I’d gained. “What’s the point?” seemed to be my mantra. 

However, don’t fall victim to allowing “the perfect to be the enemy of the good.” The truth is that what we do most of the time really outweighs what we do every now and then. So if you are still walking more days than not, or refraining from a daily dessert and leaving it for the weekend then beating yourself up in the long run doesn’t help. 

Hopefully, you are still moving forward in whatever you hoped to do differently this year. Be aware if you suffer from “all or nothing thinking” and don’t let it get in the way of living the life you truly want. 

That Darn Cat

That Darn Cat. 

This weekend was my precious grandson’s first birthday. Friday eveningwe picked up his other set of grandparents at the airport, and they were spending the night with us. Our plan was to leave early the next morning to make our way to our daughter and son-in-law’s home. 

Although, we are now living in a smart home with Alexa and an i phone, Chuck and I are still living in the nineties when it comes to alarm clocks. Heck, if it was good enough for us to use almost thirty years why shouldn’t it be good enough for us today?

Well, after what happened on Saturday we may have to rethink this one. 

I had set the alarm for 6:30, in order to hit the road by 8:00. When it went off that morning I got up and took my shower. After getting out of the shower, Chuck entered the bathroom and asked me if I knew what time it was? Well I was assuming some time around 6:45, but I was completely wrong. 

NO it was actually 4:45!!!!

Now, how in the world did that happen? I began to wonder if I was losing my mind? How in the world did the alarm go off two hours early?

And then it hit me. The CAT!!!

Normally Abby chooses not to sleep with us at night, but I think because Brittany’s in-laws were spending the night just down the hall the cat decided that our bed was the better choice. Except for when she didn’t. She made her way on and off of our bed several times that night, always announcing her presence with a loud purring sound. 

Her modus operandi was to jump on and off of the end table to make her way to the bed. Her almost fifteen year old body is not as spry as it once was, and I’m thinking that one of the times she jumped off she must have landed on the alarm clock just long enough to fast forward the hour by two. 

So there I was fully clean, but two hours too early. So what did I do? Well, went back to bed of course, and gave myself an extra thirty minutes to sleep. Except this time I asked Alexa to wake me up at seven.  

I guess it’s time to enter the twenty first century. 

Job, Career, Calling

Job, career, calling. 

Elle Luna in her book, The Crossroads of Should and Must writes about the differences between a job, a career and a calling. 

She defines them as:

Job-“Something typically done from 9-5for pay.

Career-“A system of advancements and promotions over time where rewards are used to optimize behavior.”

Calling- “Something that we feel compelled to do regardless of fame or fortune; the work is the reward.”

As I considered the three I wanted to automatically think that a job was the worst and a calling was the best. Except my judgement was off base because a job might be the best way to further a calling.  

If your job does not leave you exhausted and mentally spent at the end of the day, but still pays the bills, then you may have time to do what you really love. So a job might not be so bad after all. 

A career on the other hand, might leave you with a sense of accomplishment, and accolades, but in the long run might get in the way of the thing you really want to do. My generation of women were pressed to have a career even at the expense of our future children. 

I used to refer to my thirty-one years in education as my career, but in reevaluating this I now know it was a calling. It actually began as a job, as a way to secure my future and pay my bills. I had not been one of those young girls who played school and dreamed of being a teacher.  

But over time it morphed into a calling. However, not in the usual sense of many of my co-workers whose heart drew them into the profession. I found myself drawn to the creativity involved in teaching, and the desire to motivate and encourage. Although, some years were difficult my love for the classroom and my students was real. 

As I think back on the time I was in the classroom more than anything I had the freedom to do the work I was compelled to do. Although, compared to other professions the monetary gain was less, but I really can’t imagine having done anything else. 

When teaching moved from being a calling to being a career I knew it was time to retire. Today I find my calling to be writing. It is something I am compelled to do, and it in itself is the reward. 

So as you contemplate your own life don’t be too quick to judge which path is the best, and don’t discount that a calling must require a paycheck. 

It’s Monday

It’s Monday. 

The other morning just before Chuck left for work he asked what my plans were for the day. I replied, “It’s Monday. I’m going grocery shopping.”

Later that morning as I was walking at the gym, I was listening to an interview with Elle Luna, author of The Crossroads of Should and Must. She talked about a point in her life when she had quit her job, and had nothing but time on her hands. As a retiree I could relate. 

But what she said next stopped me in my figurative tracks . She asked if what she was doing with her time was how she really wanted to be spending her time? I couldn’t help but think about my answer that morning to Chuck’s question.

It’s not that grocery shopping isn’t important, because of course you have to eat, but if shopping at Walmart was the highlight of my day then something must be seriously wrong. 

When given the gift of time it can’t be something that is taken for granted. Assuming that tomorrow or the next day is a given, allows you to let days, weeks, months or even years go by without doing the things that you dreamed you would, but never got around to. 

So as I considered my day, I put grocery shopping back into perspective, and along with the obligations of the day I vowed to make Monday more than just grocery day. 

Should or Must?

Should or must?

I took a little field trip the other day to Interabang Books in Dallas. I had been wanting to check it out for a while, and decided to make the trek, although to be honest with my new location, it really wasn’t that far.

I happened upon a intriguing little book entitled, The Crossroads of Should and Must-Find and Follow Your Passion, by Elle Luna. I’m noticing that lately I’m drawn to books that are actually pieces of art in themselves. This book is full of delightful illustrations along with inspirational text.  

One thought that really gave me pause was:

“It is here, standing at the crossroads of Should and Must, that we feel the enormous reality of our fears, and this is the moment when many of us decide against following our intuition, turning away from that place where nothing is guaranteed, nothing is known, and everything is possible.”

Wow!

Where are you standing?

Helpful or Hurtful?

Helpful or hurtful?

Sometimes when we are faced with a decision, and are unsure of what to do next asking ourselves a simple question may be helpful. 

“Will this help get me closer to my goal or will it take me away from it?”

One of my goals for the new year is to lose the few pounds I had gained during the holidays. To be honest I think my holiday may have begun back in September, but who’s counting, right?

One of the ways I stay on track is by attending WW meetings where I weigh in weekly. Now most of the time this is helpful to me because it keeps me on track and accountable. 

This week, though, I knew I wasn’t going to see that loss on the scale, and I found myself discouraged, and losing motivation. I really was not looking forward to weighing in.  

It was then I asked myself whether attending the meeting this week was going to be helpful or hurtful to me? Now I very committed to attending the meetings, and nine times out of ten I’m there. 

However, in choosing not to go I gave myself another week to continue the good habits I put in place after New Year’s. Rather than get discouraged, and give up completely I gave myself a little extra time to allow the pounds to come off. 

Knowing yourself is important, and I know how my “all or nothing” personality can often get in the way of my success. I felt good about my decision, and had a successful day of staying on track. 

I do need the accountability and community that the meetings bring, so I plan to be there next week regardless of the results. 

Tomato Basil Soup

Tomato basil soup. 

I made some of the best soup I’ve ever had this week for dinner. It was tomato basil with fresh roasted Roma tomatoes. 

You roast nine Roma tomatoes first with olive oil and salt and pepper for about 30 minutes at 400 degrees. Make sure to slice them the long way and put them on foil on your baking sheet. 

While they are roasting dice a yellow onion, and sauté it in 2 tablespoons of butter until tender, and then add about 4 cloves of minced garlic. 

Add 4 cups of vegetable broth, 1 large can of whole tomatoes with juice, about a cup of basil, and the roasted tomatoes.

Let this come to a boil, and then lower the heat and simmer for about 30 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. 

Then using an immersion blender blend until smooth. Top with shredded Parmesan cheese when serving. 

The roasted tomatoes in this soup elevate to a level all its own. I can’t tell you how much Chuck and I enjoyed this soup. Serve with the sandwich of your choice. 

Self-Knowledge

Self-knowledge. 

I’ve started my Happiness Project Experience course, and the month of January is primarily about self-knowledge. 

One aspect of self-knowledge according to Gretchen Rubin is the understanding that, “We can choose what we do, but we can’t choose what we like to do.”

Have you ever chosen to do something that you knew you really didn't like? Yes, there you were standing at that football game cheering on the team, but secretly praying the game would not go into overtime. All the while wondering how the person next to you with the painted face seemed to be having the time of his life?

The first time I came across this idea it helped me to better understand why I wasn't always enjoying some of the activities that I was involved in. Although, I had chosen to participate in them my reasons for doing so wasn't always based on my true nature. 

Sometimes I did things because they were popular at the time, but more times than not I wished I was hanging out at the library looking for a good book. Although, it didn't sound too exciting to many it fit me to a tee. 

Since then I don't spend my Sunday afternoons watching football, or my spring and summer gardening. I've learned that as much as I wish I enjoyed these experiences I really don't. 

Being self-aware of what YOU actually like to do can definitely contribute to your overall happiness. Shakespeare says it quite clearly, "To thine own self be true."

Artist Date

Artist date. 

Author and artist Julia Cameron promotes in her classic book, The Artist's Way something called the artist date. She describes this as, "An artist date is a block of time, perhaps two hours weekly, especially set aside and committed to nurturing your creative consciousness, your inner artist."

This is an opportunity for you to carve out time each week to spend on a creativity excursion. In the pursuit of creativity it is critical that you are open to observing your surroundings. I have found that ideas seem to flow when I expose myself to good books, movies, podcasts, and discovery. Just being out and about can spark an idea that can be expressed in some creative way. 

My artist date this week was a soap quest. Recently, we started using some fancy, and handmade soaps that I had received as gifts. The difference between regular grocery store soap, and these higher quality soaps was very apparent, and Chuck and I decided to spend a little more on soap each month. 

I began my quest at a local craft mall, and spent some time checking out their selection. Along the way I came across some vintage style gift tags that had been made by an artist out of Weatherford. I was instantly enchanted, because they were perfect for my art journal. I had been missing this creative outlet, and these simple tags really inspired me to get started again. 

To be honest I did not find any soap that I was too crazy about, so I continued down the road to Whole Foods. I knew that they sold hand-crafted soaps, and wanted to check them out. Unfortunately, their cost per pound didn't quite fit into my budget, so I left without purchasing any. 

I traveled to Home Goods next, because I had purchased soaps there before as gifts for friends, and knew that they had good prices. I picked up two bars, and gave some thought to possibly making my own soap in the future. I had already pinned several examples on Pinterest, but had been hesitant becomes some soap requires lye. I think I’ll check into it some more.

What I enjoyed most, though, about my artist date was that although I didn't come away with homemade soap, I did come away with a new idea for my art 
journal. At first I was a little disappointed about the soap, but then I realized 
that being open to possibilities was the true aim of the artist date, and not just checking something off my to do list. 

Instant Pot Musings

Instant Pot musings. 

Well I’ve owned my Instant Pot for little over a week so I thought I’d share with you some of my observations. 

I’ve noticed from what I’ve read that some people are hesitant to use an Instant Pot. Now on the one hand this does make perfectly good sense as it actually is still a pressure cooker. I think the main thing to remember is just to use good common sense when you are cooking with it. 

This means making sure to allow the pressure to release naturally if possible, and going ahead and covering your Instant Pot with a towel when quick releasing with the vent. I even wear my oven mitts just to make sure I don’t get burned by escaping steam. If you follow these steps all should be good. 

I’ve also found that watching several You Tube videos on how to cook in the Instant Pot will make you much more confident the first time you use it. Referring back to the videos along the way can also help if a question arises. 

Be aware that the time written in the recipe is the actually cooking time in the pot. It doesn’t allow for the initial pressurizing time (So far for me about 5-10 minutes.), and the gradual release time at the end. I’ve been giving it about 10 minutes before releasing the valve manually. 

Also I have found that cooking dried beans for 40 minutes rather than 30 gives them the consistency I like best. So far I’ve cooked both pinto beans, and black eyed peas. My first batch of pinto beans did not cook long enough. Remember, this is using dried beans that do not need to be soaked over night. Woo hoo!

In addition, the second time I used the Instant Pot my silicone seal was not properly seated, and it would not even pressurize. Luckily, we were able to easily push it back to its correct position, and ended up with perfectly cooked black eyed peas. 

Because the black eyed peas ran a little late in fixing I was unable to cook my hard boiled eggs. That is the next thing on my list, and I’ll be curious to see how they actually taste. Chuck has gotten spoiled to the eggs being cooked in the oven, and prefers their taste to eggs that have been boiled. 

Either way, I’m excited to continue down this new culinary journey with my Instant Pot in hand!

When Approval Becomes Air

When approval becomes air.

When something is such a part of your life, and has been for as long as you can remember you often times don't realize that it is even there. 

That's kind of how approval is to me. I learned at a young age that not getting in trouble made life so much easier. In learning this I became highly skilled at doing the right thing, and gaining the approval of both my parents and teachers. Add to this the expectations of my childhood religion, and you had a perfect storm for approval. 

As I entered my adolescence, and young adult years the approval of my peers, and the opposite sex seemed to be all consuming. In the process I found myself doing what many INFJ's do, and shape shifting my personality to those whose company I happened to be keeping at the time. 

This need for approval, or should I say this desire to never face disapproval has set a course over the years for me. Even this blog has found me hesitant to push publish for fear of disapproval. With this mindset it seems its only value was based on the number of readers that day. 

As I've become more aware of this trait, and its consequences, I am finding myself stepping a toe into the water of disapproval. Although, on one level it produces some discomfort, it also feels a little freeing. 

It will be interesting to see where this discovery leads. 

Happiness Project

Happiness Project.

Today is the first day of 2019, and although I find it hard to believe that another year has passed by so quickly, I am excited to embrace this new year, and all the possibilities that it will bring. 

I just finished my 2018 End of the Year Review, and although not perfect it proved to be a successful year. What I like best about this review is that it gives you an opportunity to look over the past year in the categories of Faith, Family, Fitness, Finance and Fun. From there it allows you to set new goals for the coming year. 

What I want to do next is write these goals out separately, and keep them where they can be viewed daily. As much as I thought I was an Upholder when it came to Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies, I've come to the conclusion that I'm really more an Obliger with Upholder tendencies. Basically, what this means is I need outward accountability to keep me on track. This is why WW has been the only way that I have been able to lose, and maintain my weight. Left to my own devices I'm not very successful. 

One new goal for 2019 is that I'm going to be participating in Gretchen Rubin's Happiness Project Experience course. This is not to say that I am an unhappy person by any means, but she has designed the course to keep you on track monthly especially when all those New Year Resolutions begin to fade. I'm excited to get started this week. 

My plan is to post M-W-F on my blog, and to begin a new writing project. I am very much a beginner when it comes to this, but I am ready to learn, and embrace the challenge. I'll keep you posted as to how the Happiness Project Experience is coming along, and look forward to seeing Gretchen Rubin again when she visits the North Richland Hills Library this April to discuss her new book, Outer Order, Inner Calm. 

I'm including the link to her Happiness Project Experience course if you are interested. 

Happy New Year, and looking forward to a wonderful 2019!

https://courses.gretchenrubin.com/happiness/

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