You Can’t Eat Your Cake

 

“You can’t have your cake and eat it too, basically means “you cannot have it both ways.”

If you have a choice between two things you have to choose one. In other words, “ you have to eat the cake or have it.”

On Chuck and my first wedding anniversary we were out of town so we did not eat the top of our wedding cake. Almost thirty-eight years later that cake stop sits in our freezer. It has moved with us six different times. 

At this point we’re afraid that it might jinx us if we get rid of it! So we made the choice to keep the cake, not eat it. 

Teaching children that often times you can’t have it both ways is a real life lesson, albeit a difficult one at times. 

Old Habits

“Old habits die hard,” means that “it’s easy to return to old habits even if they are not in your best interest.”

I have found this to be true when it comes to weight maintenance. Throughout the journey of weight loss I can usually stay focused and disciplined. However, once I reach that magic number the real work begins for me. 

Slowly but surely each one of those old bad habits rear their ugly head again. Cheetos start calling my name, and Dove chocolate become my new best friend. 

Teaching our children that we have to remain diligent in the things we do and aspire to do will help them to reach their personal goals. Don’t let those old habits get the best of you. 

Too Many Cooks

 

According to Phrasemix “Too many cooks spoil the broth, means “When there are too many people trying to lead and give their opinions, it’s confusing and leads to bad results.”

This can clearly be seen in the modern day workplace where there are so many layers of mid management that what once was something simply becomes overly complicate, because everyone has a better idea. 

It can also be seen in my own kitchen when my husband questions my cooking choices. Apparently I’m literally a too many cooks in the kitchen person, and prefer to cook solo. 

Exposing our children to this adage might help them to understand better what is happening when too many people are trying to be in charge. Delegating the leadership to one or possibly two might be the better way to go. 

Birds of a Feather

I got to spend the evening with a close group of friends. We shared a meal, and exchanged gifts, and “solved the problems of the world.”

The old adage, “Birds of a feather flock together,” definitely came to mind. 

The Squeaky Wheel

 

There is nothing more annoying then a squeaky wheel on your grocery cart. I’ve been known to turn around more than once in an effort to get a cart that doesn’t squeak. 

According to Phrasemix, “The squeaky wheel gets the grease, means “You can get better service if you complain about something. If you wait patiently, no one’s going to help you.”

Now the definition of complain is to “express dissatisfaction or annoyance about something.” However, the tricky thing about complaining is in how the recipient receives it. In today’s world the complainer is mocked and called a “Karen.”

In my mind, though, I find this very offensive to those women who just so happened to be named a perfectly fine name, but now have to cringe each time the local news reports on someone who complained. 

How I like to use the “squeaky wheel” is to just speak out when decisions are needed to be made. As a teacher I used to be involved in textbook decisions. I would study the choices and make my preferences known. Often times, the company I liked ended up being chosen. 

I like to think that I might have had some role in persuading others because I chose to speak up. 

Of course, choosing to speak up can also “ruffle some feathers” as well, and I must admit it does bother me when I think someone doesn’t like me. 

This has happened throughout my life, and I wish at my age I had a better handle on it. That being said, I would still teach my child to speak out, especially in situations of injustice. I’d also counsel them if possible to speak kindly because “you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.”

A Little Bit of Knowledge

Is it our human nature that makes “A little bit of knowledge a dangerous thing?”

If you look to Phrasemix for an explanation you will find the following: Sometimes when a person knows a little bit about something, they feel like they are an expert. Because they feel like an expert , they try to do things they shouldn’t.”

Using current events as an example I can’t help but think about how many so called “experts” spoke out during the Pandemic. Few people took the time to delve any deeper than what they were told. Even fewer questioned what they were being told. 

I think in teaching this adage we need to remind our children of a proverb from the Bible, “Pride goeth before the fall.” It’s better to remain humble, and not act as if we know more than we really do. 

Actions Speak Louder

 

Phrasemix defines “Actions speak louder than words,” as “Just saying that you’ll do something doesn’t mean much. Actually doing it is harder and more meaningful.”

I think we’ve all probably come across someone in our life who was all talk and no action. It’s easy to say what you are going to do, maybe even promise to do something. However, following through is the harder part. 

Be careful what you say if you really have no intention of actually doing so. In our world politicians seem to be quite notorious for this. Tell the people what they want to hear at the time, and conveniently forget about it later. 

A word we need to teach our children is “integrity.” Or as Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements, says, “Be impeccable with your words. Moreover, let your actions speak for themselves.

 Teach your children to size up others by their actions, or as the Bible says “their fruit” instead of just what they say. 

There’s No Place

 

My five year old grandson has been obsessed with The Wizard of Oz for several years now. Although, he had never actually seen the movie he had seen a collection of Pez candy dispensers in the shape of the Wizard of Oz characters.

He knew all their names, and I had filled him in on the basic plot of the story. At the time I wasn’t quite sure he was old enough to watch the movie. I wasn’t sure how he would handle the wicked witch and the flying monkeys.

Now the reason I brought this up is that today’s adage is “There’s no place like home” which of course is the famous line from the movie. Phrasemix defines this adage as “Your own home is the most comfortable place to be.” 

How often have you been on vacation and looked forward to getting to sleep in your own bed again? In fact, when we travel on a road trip we bring our own pillows for the hotel room. 

Even my twenty-two month grand baby says “Home?” when he is riding in the car. That is usually followed by “Lemonade?” At this tender age he has learned that home is where he wants to be. 

In today’s world people live in beautiful homes that they are rarely at. They are too busy going from one activity to the next to really get to enjoy their home.

Teach your children to slow down and appreciate what’s really important, a home surrounded by the people they love. 

Don’t Put the Cart

 

“Don’t put the cart before the horse,” according to Phrasemix means “Pay attention to what’s most important. Don’t let things which aren’t as important take up all your time and attention.”

I’ve found in life that there is a general order to most things, and if you follow that order things usually work out for the best. In today’s world pretty much anything goes. 

Now for some, this free-spirited lifestyle might be the best thing ever. However, for many putting the “cart before the horse” ends up with a more chaotic life. 

Teaching our children to think before they act, and to analyze if what they are doing is really the best route can be a game changer for the future. 

Investing in a wedding dress before you have a ring and a date, might end up being a waste of money. You may choose never to marry or the style of dress might not suit your tastes anymore. 

Also, not prioritizing the details may cause you to derail your plans. Learn to take care of the “first things first.”

The Grass is Always Greener

 

Phrasemix defines “The grass is always greener on the other side,” as “People tend to want whatever they don’t have.”

In addition they tend to think that if they only had those things then their life would be so much better. What ends up happening is they spend all their time thinking about what they don’t have instead of enjoying what they do have. 

I remember once watching one of our cows literally stick her head through the barbed wire fence to eat the grass on the other side of the fence. Meanwhile, she had thirty-eight acres of her own pasture to munch on. 

When comparing the grass on both sides of the fence they were virtually the same. Of course, she didn’t know that, but luckily we can learn to live our life with a little more gratitude for what we already have. 

Now in teaching this adage to children I would remind them that there is nothing wrong with aspiring for and working hard toward a desired goal. I think attitude along the way is what makes the difference. 

Every Cloud

 

Today’s old adage was inspired by last evening. As I stepped outside while my husband was mowing the yard, I looked up into the sky and saw a beautiful silver lining surrounding a dark cloud. 

I knew immediately that today “Every cloud has a silver lining,” would be the next adage in the series. 

According to Wordnik this adage means that “In every bad situation there is an element of good.”

Now sometimes you have to look for it, and you definitely have to be open to it to find the good. 

I saw this time and time again during one of the most stressful times of my life. As I maneuvered the circumstances of my father and step-mother’s placement into memory care and assisted living respectively, I was met by the kindness of family, friends and strangers at every turn. 

The silver lining of a challenging situation is what helped me to make it through to the other side. 

Sometimes we need to look back on a situation using hindsight to identify those silver linings, but in teaching our children this we can help them to look for the good in the bad. 

Learning resiliency during adversity is an important life skill, as disappointment in life is a given. 

I must admit I did get a kick out of viewing the beautiful sky last evening which completely took me by surprise. 

If It Ain’t Broke

 

Phrasemix describes “ If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, as “Don’t try to improve something that already works fairly well. You’ll probably end up causing new problems.”

I find this adage to be extremely helpful when my perfection gene starts to kick in. Learning when to stop with “perfectly fine” can be a challenge to those who think that things could always be “a little more perfect.” 

I had a student years ago who at the tender age of seven gave me some words of wisdom that have stuck with me over the years.

While complaining about how imperfect the Christmas ornaments were that I had made my students she consoled me with, “They’re good enough for kids.” What she meant was that kids don’t set the unachievable standard of perfection that many adults do.

She was content with a Christmas ornament in the shape of a bell made by her teacher with her name Sarah written in glitter. 

As you are working on a project and something seems to be going along just fine, don’t automatically think there is a better way, and try to fix something that isn’t broken. 

As children face frustration in their endeavors teaching them this adage will help them to determine when to continue and when to stop. Of course, you might want to point out that the word “ain’t” probably isn’t the best choice, and might need to be reserved for the old adage alone. LOL!

Haste Makes Waste

 “Haste makes waste,” basically means according to Dictionary.com “Rushing things leads to mistakes or poor results.”

Today I had an opportunity to use this adage with my five year old grandson. He was working on a Mother’s Day card which included gluing down some buttons. We talked about how we he needed to wait for the glue to dry before he wrote anything on the inside. 

I explained that if he rushed to finish then his card might end up getting ruined by the wet glue. I could tell he was a little impatient, but he did wait, and was quite pleased with how his card when he was finished. 

This may not come naturally to children, but it is a lesson that can be taught even at a young age. 

Those Who Live in Glass Houses

 I remember learning the adage, “People who live in glass houses should not throw stones,” as a child. I must admit I never quite fully understood it until I got older. 

Phrasemix explains it like this, “Don’t criticize other people if you’re not perfect yourself.” This reminds me of the parable that Jesus taught about removing the log from your own eye before judging others. 

I do know that over the years I have been quick to criticize as it seems I have an opinion on just about everything. Here’s the thing, though, you may offer your opinion, but that doesn’t mean it will automatically be well received. Those stones that come flying back are easier to endure in a house made of stone. 

Now I’m not saying that there aren’t times in this world when we need to stand up and speak out. Just temper that with how you are living your own life. It’s easy to be quick to judge, but without really knowing the whole story it might not be the best thing to do. 

Remember a glass house lends very little protection, and it’s fallout could be even more detrimental. 

As far as sharing this with our children perhaps teaching the adage itself might lend itself to older children, but the groundwork and concept can be taught from the beginning. 

Better Late

 

As I sit here at 11:28 pm realizing that I have forgotten to write my post for today, I can’t help but think of the old adage, “Better late than never.”

Phrasemix describes this one as, It’s best to do something on time. But if you can’t do it on time, do it late.”

Now I must admit this blog post would probably be better if I had started it earlier in the day. However, I kind of find it fitting that I’m posting it so late in the day. 

At one point I considered just waiting until tomorrow, but I reallly didn’t want to break the chain of posting daily this month. 

So the next time you are considering either giving up or blowing something off, remember this adage and just do it. 

When the Tough Get Going

“When the going gets tough, the tough get going,” means according to Phrasemix “Strong people don’t give up when they come across challenges. They just work harder.”

As I think about this adage I have mixed opinions. On the one hand I admire our ancestors who made it through difficult times through the toughness of their actions made possible through grit, and tenacity. 

This past year I read a fascinating book by author Kristin Hannah about the dust bowl entitled The Four Winds. I had read The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck years ago, but had shelved this time period in history on a back shelf o my brain. 

It was unbelievable what families experienced in the Panhandle of Texas during the 1940’s. The erosion of soil, due to improper rotation of crops, led to devastation as the farmers literally now lived in a dust bowl. The heroine of the story travels to California with her family in search of “ the land of milk and honey.” 

Nothing could have been further from the truth. And yet her toughness shows through as she manages to provide for her family without the help of her husband who has abandoned her. 

As I think about the comfortable life that we have all become accustomed to it makes me realize why we as a people don’t seem to handle adversity like we once were able to. We are quick to give up.

However, my conflict comes from my Christian faith where I have learned to lean on and trust my Lord, Jesus Christ in all things. During a particularly stressful time in my life I learned to give up my need for control and to put it in the hands of God. He is my shepherd and I am his sheep. 

If toughness was needed my strength came not from my own self, but from Him. More times than not He would send just the perfect person into my path to help me get through the next step.

In teaching our children about toughness, which is something I believe we need to do, we need also to teach them to take on the yoke of our Lord and let Him carry our weight.

The verse that has seen me through is “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge him in all ways and He will make straight your paths.”

Proverbs 3:5

Don’t Judge

“You can’t judge a book by its cover,” according to Phrasemix means “Things sometimes look different than they really are.”

I’m very guilty of judging books and people by their covers. Often as I’m pursuing the shelves at the bookstore I’m drawn to certain style of books. Not only do I love a wonderful story, I naturally gravitate to a beautiful book. In doing so I might be overlooking a truly wonderful book. 

I’m kind of the same way with people. Now on the one hand it sounds quite “horrible” to be judging others by their outward appearances. However, on the other hand I truly believe that we have a built in (from our caveman ancestors) radar that alerts us to possible danger. 

When we have that uncomfortable feeling, we need to listen to our gut, and access the situation for possible dangers. 

That being said, blindly jumping to a conclusion about someone based on their “cover” or circumstances is not right either. Reaching out to others who don’t look like you, or who different from you can be extremely rewarding. 

Now this doesn’t mean you have to change your world view, but it might help you to understand why someone’s else thinks the way they do. 

Helping to guide our children in this venture, from both perspectives is a life skill truly worth teaching. 

The Early Bird

Phrasemix defines “The early bird catches the worm,” as “You should wake up and start work early if you want to succeed.”

This morning I woke up early and headed off to a church rummage sale. I knew if I didn’t get there early I’d be taking the chance on not having much to choose from. As I unlocked the gate I thought about what adage I would write about today, and knew “the early bird catching the worm” would be perfect. 

I was one of the first customer’s in the parking lot and by the time I left the lot was packed. As I made my way around the tables in the gym I heard another woman commenting about, “The early bird gets the worm.”

I was validated in my choice of today’s adage and in the decision to do a series on these well-known sayings. In her choice of words we all knew exactly what she was talking about. 

It had nothing to do with actual birds or worms, but rather the idea that those who make the effort to rise early and seize the day will in the long run probably be successful.

Once again the idea of discipline comes into play. What could you accomplish if you got there a little bit earlier?

(By the way I found several treasures on my hunt.)

A Penny Saved

 

According to Phrasemix, “A penny saved is a penny earned,” means “Save your money. Saving money is just like making money. 

This adage is attributed to Ben Franklin, along with his words of wisdom, “ Early to bed, early to rise.” Ben knew a thing or two about how small can really add up over time. 

Being careful with what you have been given, no matter how insignificant it might seem at the time, can certainly work to your benefit.

My husband started saving $20.00 a week years ago, and in just five short weeks he would have saved $100.00. He has used this money to spend on things that he wanted or needed that he did not want to spend family money on. 

I remember saving up my babysitting money as a young teenager until I had saved twenty dollars. Now mind you back in the early seventies babysitters made only fifty cents an hour. 

It was this discipline of saving that helped me save money to help pay for college. Each week during the summer when I worked I would allow myself $10.00 for the week. The rest of my somewhat small paycheck would be faithfully deposited in my bank account. I was able to help contribute to my education which I’m sure my parents appreciated. 

So don’t think that a penny here, and a penny there can’t result in growing future wealth. Saving that penny helps to add to your net worth, and overtime you might be surprised how much you have accumulated.

Teaching our children to be responsible with money from a young age is something all parents should take seriously.

Two Wrongs

 

Phrasemix explains, “Two wrongs don’t make a right” as “When someone has done something bad to you, trying to get revenge will only make things worse.”

For me this lesson rang true more in my childhood. It seemed only fitting to try to right one wrong with another in my childish mind. Why it only seemed fair. ( We’ll save “fair” for another time.)

Wanting to strike back when you have been hurt is not such an unreasonable reaction. However, in teaching our children about things like “turning the other cheek” it’s important to really think through the consequences of our actions or should I say reactions. 

Although, it may bring a moment of satisfaction to a bad situation, in the long run is it really the right thing to do?

Just because someone else is behaving badly shouldn’t give us permission to return in kind. Being the bigger person in the long run will help to build character in our young children.

As St. Francis encouraged we should “seek to understand.” In doing so we are empowering ourselves to respond more with compassion for someone who might be going through a difficult time.

So if your first response is to react in a negative fashion, remind yourself that you doing something wrong in return will not erase the first wrong action. Sadly, it will probably make things even worse. 

This is a life lesson that needs to be taught at a young age, and reinforced throughout our adult years. 

Don’t Count Your Chickens

According to Phrasemix the old adage, “Don’t count your chickens until they hatch,” means “Your plans might not work out, so don’t start thinking about what you’ll do next after you succeed. Wait until you’ve already succeeded, and then you can think about what to do next.”

I think for me this lesson came into play my eight grade year when I tried out for cheerleader. Based on my skills I was able to make twenty finalist so in my mind I was halfway there. Except that the final competition was based on popular vote. 

As I looked at my nineteen competitors, the chances of me getting chosen became less and less. Although, I believed that my classmates liked me, I knew in my heart that there were at least eight girls who were more popular than me. 

I remember the day of tryouts getting my hopes up when people confided that they had voted for me. I could almost see my future ninth grade year in all its glory. I was beginning to count my chickens, and even “getting my ducks in a row” as I imagined life as a popular girl. 

However, that afternoon when we were called down to the auditorium to learn the results I couldn’t help but notice that the first row of girls was filled with the eventual winners, and I and my second row friends left empty handed that day. 

Teaching our children to be prepared for differing outcomes can help them to handle the inevitable disappointments in life. Of course, we don’t want to use the phrase to discourage them either. 

It’s just that, although we may have a dozen eggs, that is no guarantee that we will have an equal number of chickens when they are hatched. Life kind of works that way, too. 

What are your thoughts, and are you a chicken counter?

The Old Adage

I was thinking the other day about some of the sayings I learned as a child, and how often I refer to them today. 

That got me to thinking about whether children today are even taught these old adages any more? I know that things like nursery rhymes and fairy tales are not quite as popular as they once were. 

As I began to make a list of the old sayings I remembered, I tried to think of what was the proper term for these sayings. Adages? Idiom? Proverb?

I’m going with the term adage.

An adage is defined as “ a proverb or short statement expressing a general truth.”

Now the reason I think it’s important to teach these adages to the next generation is that the truths that they convey are timeless. They also help to impart a set of moral standards that at one time were unquestionable. 

I’m wondering if just learning these adages alone could help someone to make better decisions and choices in their life? Would these adages ever really steer you wrong? So starting tomorrow I’m going to do a little series in this next month about some of the tried and true, and hopefully familiar adages of my generation’s childhood. 

Nothing like , “ Striking while the iron is hot.”