Secrets of Adulthood- Day 23

 “If there’s something you want to do, make it more convenient; if there’s something you want to resist doing, make it less convenient.”

What simple advice, and yet why do we seem to complicate things?

I've noticed on social media that meal prep has become a really popular practice. If you spend a Sunday afternoon prepping your lunches and snacks for the week, you are probably going to have a better chance of eating healthy. 

If you place a bowl of Halloween candy on your counter, it's probably going to be hard to resist. Maybe not bringing it into the house in the first place would have been the better move, but at least storing it in the pantry might not make it quite so obvious. 

Along this line, I've heard of people literally freezing their credit cards to make them less easy to use. Of course, I'm pretty sure this was prior to online shopping. LOL!

Recently, I’ve learned about something called The Path of Least Resistance. Think about water trickling down the side of a mountain. Somehow water finds the path of least resistance to follow. 

The same thing happens to us as our brain is always scanning for ways to conserve energy and keep us safe. So it's easy to fall back into whatever requires less effort. 

So what do we do with this Secret of Adulthood? Look for ways to make the habits you want to develop more automatic. Don't make it so difficult that you give up. 

And see if you can make the things you don't want to do a little less convenient.

Secrets of Adulthood- Day 22

 “Things look better when arranged on a tray.”

I've noticed a trend on Facebook-arranging things on a tray. 

Each time a new season or holiday comes around people are making the cutest arrangements just by putting them on a tray. 

Why would something so simple make such a difference?

I'm thinking because it causes your eye to focus on the boundary of the tray. Then you really can enjoy checking out the different objects placed there. 

If you need some inspiration check out Pinterest or Facebook to come up with some ideas. Challenge yourself to use what you have to decorate with. Of course, you might need to invest in a tray. I like the round, wooden ones. 

Secrets of Adulthood- Day 21

 “Cheerfulness is contagious, and crabbiness is even more contagious.”

This is so true! Especially the crabbiness. Why is it so easy to complain?

I once taught with a teacher who was always cheerful. She looked for the bright side of everything and refrained from gossiping. When you were around her, it was difficult to complain. 

One time, someone was telling a story about her son climbing onto a roof. My friend interjected with, “He must be brave.” The other woman looked at her for a moment and said, “No, he’s stupid!”

We all got a good laugh out of that remark. 

They say in life you are the combination of the five people you spend the most time with. If you find yourself more on the crabby side, check out your friends. Maybe you can be the one to encourage cheerfulness. Both are contagious. 

Secrets of Adulthood- Day 20

 “Even a weekend away from home and routine can be enough for a real vacation.”

What is it about a weekend away that is so fun? 

For me, it's easy to plan, and you’re back home before you know it. 

I've found that I like day trips even more than a weekend away. My husband and I have taken many day trips, no more than two hours from home, and had a great time. 

We have taken tours, checked out historical sites, eaten at quaint restaurants, shopped at really cool stores, and enjoyed conversation along the way. 

The beauty of the day trip is that you don't have to make arrangements for your pets, you don't get tired of eating out, and, best of all, you get to sleep in your own bed. 

Do you have any suggestions for day trips?

Secrets of Adulthood- Day 19

                                                             “It’s okay to ask for help.”

Why would asking for help be so difficult for some?

Perhaps because they don’t want to burden others. They may feel that asking for help signals incompetence. Some may be embarrassed about asking a “stupid” question. 

All of these could be valid excuses, but I have found that most of the time people are pretty willing to help if you need it. 

When my dad went into memory care, there was so much I didn't know. I was forced to start asking for help, which didn't come easy to me. From his caretakers to his banker, everyone treated me with respect. No one made me feel bad for asking. 

I found that if I started the conversation by saying, “I have a question for you,” it was easier for me to ask. Kind of like a buffer zone of sorts, before I blurted out my actual question.

If you find it hard to ask for help, start in the produce section at your grocery store—pretty low pressure. 

Secrets of Adulthood-Day 18

Abstinence can be easier than moderation.”

I have found this to be true for me in some situations. Instead of struggling back and forth with moderation, sometimes it's easier to say no. 

I've found that if I tell myself, “I’m not eating the chips today,” before entering a Mexican restaurant, I'm much more likely to succeed than if I kid myself into thinking I’ll only eat a few. 

The old Lay’s potato chip commercial reminding us that “No one can eat just one” is basically true for me. 

In the past, once I committed to Weight Watchers, I did a good job staying on track. Once I moved to the maintenance phase, things became more difficult. Living in moderation can be a struggle for me. 

However, moderation is a more realistic approach. What works best for you?

Are you more of an abstainer or a moderator?

Secrets of Adulthood- Day 17

                                         “Misadventures often make the best memories.”

As much as we try we really can't control all circumstances. However, when we look back at our lives our fondest memories are rarely those “perfect moments.”

More times than not, it’s those not-so-perfect moments that keep us laughing. 

One time while visiting Las Vegas, we decided to visit the Grand Canyon. We were told it was just a short drive away. When we arrived it wasn't anything like we expected, so we made the choice to continue five hours down the road to what we referred to to as “the real Grand Canyon.”

As we were leaving our first stop we got out of the car to check out a sight. While standing there a tour bus from Las Vegas came barreling down the dirt road on two wheels. For a second we saw our life flash before our eyes. 

Truthfully, we never were in any real danger, but it did make for a good story! 

Secrets of Adulthood- Day 16

 “When uncertain how to proceed, choose the bigger life.”

I love this! Often we don't know what to do next, but when weighing options, lean toward the one that challenges you and pushes you out of your comfort zone. 

Ten years ago, when my husband’s work moved to a new location, we could have stayed where we were. It would have meant he could no longer ride the DART bus to work and would have to commute by car. So for the first time we started considering a different life. 

We took this opportunity to make some changes. Over the next ten years, we moved three times, spent a carefree year living in an apartment, sold our property in East Texas, and bought land and built a home near our daughter, son-in-law, and grandsons. 

When given the chance to say yes to something new, I advise taking it. I've tried things I didn't continue, but I don't regret giving them a chance. 

So the next time you face a decision, think about which choice will lead to a bigger life. 

Secrets of Adulthood-Day 15

 “Whenever we choose one path, we must forgo other paths.”

I find this secret to be very profound. Basically, it means that when you say yes to one thing, you are saying no to another, so you'd better be discerning about what you choose. 

I find this to be especially true when it comes to time. It's the one resource we can never get back.  For this reason, you need to guard your time as often as you can. It's too easy to find yourself caught up in an afternoon of Facebook reels. By saying yes to doomscrolling, you are saying no to a good book, a phone call with a friend, or even a new hobby. 

What are you trading when you say yes?

Secrets of Adulthood- Day 14

 “Outer order can contribute to inner calm.”

This is actually one of my favorite secrets of adulthood. I came across Rubin’s words over ten years ago, and more than anything, they confirmed what I'd known in my heart of hearts. 

When my life was in order, I felt a peacefulness inside. I had instinctively been trying 

 to order my world all along, not realizing how important it was. 

Now a simple way to begin is to order your space.  I have found that the state of my purse can reflect the state of my mind.  Taking time to clear the clutter leads to a calmer demeanor.

So if you've felt a little discombobulated lately, check whether something in your life needs to be ordered. 

Secrets of Adulthood- Day 13

                                         “More lawn, more mowing.”

My husband can really relate to this. After moving to the country, he became responsible for mowing three acres of land. In our last two homes, with much smaller yards, we hired someone to mow them. 

I remember our first house was small enough that I could vacuum it within a matter of minutes. When we moved to a larger, two-story house, I was never able to vacuum the entire house at once. It became a two-day job. 

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying you shouldn't aspire for more if that's what you want. What I am saying is to be careful what you wish for.

And remember the larger the lawn, the longer the mow. 

Secrets of Adulthood- Day 12

 “Putting materials into our hands often puts ideas into our heads.”

In so many ways, I'm more of a thinker than a doer. A simple search of my personal library shows an overabundance of how-to books. 

Sadly, many have gone unread, and most have been abandoned. 

What I think Rubin proposes here, for people like me, is to get out of our head and more into our body. 

In fact, she wrote a whole book about it. Life in Five Senses was a study of how to include more of the physical side of life, not just the cerebral. 

I'm noticing a new trend on social media. People are taking up what they are calling analog hobbies. To get off their phones, people are knitting, coloring, and doing jigsaw puzzles, to name a few. Kindles have been replaced with real books. Some are even digging out their old videotapes from their childhood to share with their children. (I knew we should never have gotten rid of anything we owned in the past!)

One of my new favorite pastimes is junk journaling. It requires very little skill, but is quite satisfying when you view the finished product. This art form is basically collage using found materials. Collecting potential ephemera is half the fun.

Giving your mind time to roam free is the perfect place for ideas to incubate. 

If you haven't tried a non-digital, hands-on hobby yet, think back to some of the activities you enjoyed as a child. If you need more inspiration, check out YouTube. Don't  spend too long thinking about what to do. Just do it!

Secrets of Adulthood-Day 11

 “If we’re not likely to win a starting role, we can stage our own performance.”

For years, gatekeepers controlled the arts. Publishers determined which books we read. Album companies determined the music we heard. Artists and actors had to break through using conventional methods. 

That is until recently. I know of an artist who got his start sketching people on the NY subway and then posting them on social media. Authors are now self-publishing books. With the opportunity to start podcasts and YouTube channels, people no longer have to wait for someone else to determine them a star. 

I started a blog in 2015. I curated a photo gallery on Instagram. I'm finishing my first novel and will self-publish it. Will any of these endeavors win me an award? Probably not, but I sure have enjoyed pursuing all three. 

What is something you've been wanting to do and have been putting off?