Beauty Is

 

I was looking at my cat the other day, and admiring how beautiful she was when I was reminded of the adage, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

Phrasemix defines this simply as “Different people have different ideas about what’s beautiful.”

Now this one has been a little difficult for me to fully grasp as I’ve observed some people’s choices, and have scratched my head wondering, “What were they thinking?” Kind of like that occasional purple house you come across now and then. 

However, accepting our differences in tastes does make life a little more interesting. If everyone was the same it could get quite boring. I try to point this out to my oldest grandson as he questions his middle brother’s choices in pretty much everything.

In our Pinterest perfect world it can get exhausting to keep up with all the latest trends. In choosing the countertops for our current house we went with granite, even though quartz seemed to be the trend of the day. In our last house our walls remained white while others were being painted the popular gem tone colors. Interestingly, when the time came to sell, white had made its way back into the lexicon.

Let’s encourage our children not to be too judgmental when it comes to other’s tastes, and remember the other old adage, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

Noom

Around mid-March something came across my Facebook feed that caught my attention. It was an advertisement about a weight loss program called Noom. 

Now as you probably remember I’ve been a Lifetime member of Weight Watchers for many years, and have had good success with the program. In fact, if I still lived in the metroplex I would not even be writing this post. I used to look forward to my weekly WW meetings, and had even reconnected with a high school friend at one of the meetings.

One of the things I liked about the meetings was the flexibility I had to choose a meeting time that worked for me. When we moved to our new rural community there was actually no meetings less than an hour away. Over time a meeting in Stephenville (about 15 minutes away) was available , but not always practical. During the winter months driving in the dark to and from the meeting wasn’t something I even wanted to attempt due to the many dead deer you would see along the highway. 

As time went by I was having less and less success with maintaining my weight. As much as I hoped to be able to do so on my own I rarely can maintain my weight without some form of accountability. That’s where Noom came into the picture. 

Now technically I only had about eight pounds to lose to get back to my desired goal weight. However, left unchecked I knew my weight would continue to increase if I continued on the same path. 

I went ahead and signed up pretty impulsively for me, since it’s cost was more than what I was paying each month to keep my WW online tools. I did so knowing that I was only committed to a two months stint, which in my mind seemed like a fair amount of time to see some results. 

I shared with Chuck that I was needing something to kickstart my return to healthier eating. 

He agreed that Noom sounded like a perfect solution for me. 

I must admit I have really enjoyed the program. It is easy to follow, there are no restricted foods or food groups, and it provides for easy tracking of weight, water, steps and food intake. But, most of all it includes daily lessons that range from nutrition to psychology. All of which I have found helpful. The basic membership includes a group coach that you can reach out to if needed, and a group chat feature like Facebook. 

In the first two months I had lost the eight pounds, but decided to sign on for two more months to help me with maintenance. I was excited to see that they provided lessons about maintaining your weight, as well. This has always been the hardest part for me, and I have appreciated the support I have received during this phase. 

The program really is working for me, and I want to put my health high on my list of priorities. I’ll take it two months at a time to see if I want to continue. After sharing the program with my doctor at my yearly check-up he pointed out that the actual monthly cost wasn’t too unreasonable if it helped me stay healthy. 

If you have any more questions please reach out to me, and I’ll be happy to answer any of your questions. 

Levi

 

Guest Post-Brittany Beahm

Yesterday we were at my parents watching the boys play on the water slide. Levi was sitting in my lap and my mom looked over and said to him, “God sure knew what he was doing when He made you!”

Levi just shy of two responded, “Amen!”

It was the sweetest, most innocent response and definitely took us by surprise!

We love you big Levi! 

Amen is right!

No Use Crying

 

When pouring some milk for my youngest grandson the other day I ended up spilling some of it. 

Immediately the old adage, “No use crying over spilt milk,” came to mind.

According to Undeniably Dairy this adage means, “there’s no point being upset over something that has already happened, and cannot be changed.”  I can’t help but wonder if some farmer long ago had his cow kick over a bucket of milk, and although he felt frustrated, he realized that all the anger in the world would not return the milk to the bucket. 

The lesson, though, might be to be more careful the next time. 

In teaching this adage to our children, the lesson is not to be unconcerned about mistakes or “spilt milk” but rather to move on, not beat ourselves up, but look for a way to maybe do things differently the next time to prevent the mishap. 

Goal Orientation Theory

 

I learned something new today about goal-setting. 

According to Noom (my on- line weight loss program) there is something called “Goal Orientation Theory” that divides goals into two categories. These are based on what motivates different individuals. 

Some people are motivated by “Performance-oriented goals” which revolves around the “demonstrating their competence” to others. 

Others are motivated by “Mastery-oriented goals” where they are focused more on “mastering tasks, self-improvement and developing new skills.”

After learning this it answered so many questions about how I’ve never been motivated by competition or challenges. My motivation comes from with in and my “competition” is more with myself. 

What I already knew to be true is that what works for one person may not necessarily work for another. There really is no one size fits all. That being said, knowing what makes you tick can help you to be able to achieve your goals. 

According to Noom, Goal Orientation Theory “Helps us understand why people are motivated to work toward a goal and can predict someone’s likelihood to achieve and sustain it.”

“To thine own self be true”

William Shakespeare 

Self-Discipline

 

“Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.”

Benjamin Franklin

When it comes to self-discipline I think kids have it easy. You  see no one really expects a child to have much self-discipline, so that responsibility falls upon the shoulders of the adults in their lives.

Kids get plenty of sleep because their parents give them a bedtime. 

Kids are continually learning because they are required to attend school. Their reading time may also be monitored through reading logs and homework. 

Kids food choices are controlled by their parents.  Their tv time, screen time, and outdoor activity are monitored by their parents as well. 

In other words, if a child is blessed to have good parents he won’t have to worry too much about whether what he is doing is contributing to a healthy, well-rounded life. 

On the other hand, as an adult, except for your employer, most every thing you do is up to you. No bedtime, chips galore, and Netflix binges, are pretty much your choice.

This is where self-discipline comes into play, and to be quite honest for me it’s really hard to do. Except, I know that if I’m visiting the gym, eating “healthy” snacks and reading on a regular basis my quality of life actually is better. 

However, each of these require something called self-discipline. 

According to The St. Thomas Source in their Virtue of the Week series “Self-discipline means self-control…take(ing) charge of yourself.”

By being in charge, and following through with your commitments and goals you can accomplish the things in your life that you really want to achieve.  Is self-discipline challenging? I’d say that for most people it is, but for those who learn to lasso it the rewards can be great. 

Two Wrongs

I think perhaps “Two wrongs don’t make a right” is one of the most important lessons we can teach our children. 

Sometimes in our anger our first reaction is to lash out. We’ve all been guilty of this. 

Except returning in kind does not really rectify anything. It might make us feel better initially, but we can’t feel proud when we have done a wrong as well. 

Helping children to brainstorm some ideas of better ways to react to a wrong will help them more in the long run. Actually giving them tools and strategies will arm them for the future.

Teaching our children to aspire to live with integrity is a legacy of love we can leave to them. 

Moving in the Right Direction

 

“Big steps or small-it doesn’t really matter, as long as you’re moving in the right direction.”

Bob and Melinda Blanchard

I recently picked up a book from my bookshelves that caught my attention. Like many of the books I own I remember starting it, but I’m not sure I actually finished it. 

I decided to try reading it again, but this time while taking notes. I’m drawn to non-fiction personal development books. (The new name for the old self-help genre.) However, probably the combination of age and my inordinate amount of time spent on my i pad I don’t seem to be able to stay focused like I used to. 

The book I am reading is Changing Your Course- The 5 Step Guide to Getting the Life You Want, by husband and wife Bob and Melinda Blanchard. As I began reading the introduction I had to agree with their sentiment.

“As time passed, we discovered that shifting directions makes life more interesting and fulfilling.”

I have to agree that being open to possibilities and opportunities definitely makes life more interesting. In fact just today at church I spoke with one friend about wanting to learn more from her about “earthing”, another friend about having her teach me how to read a crotchet pattern, and finally a third friend about making homemade jelly. 

Throw in another fascinating conversation about Jesus and the miracle of healing, and I’d say it was a pretty good pre-church experience, and like always Pastor Mike’s message was very powerful. My point is that I think for me it’s easy to slip into the comfort and security of routine, and find my life becoming dull again. 

However, I know that for me life is so much more interesting when I throw in some variety. For Valentine’s Day this past February Chuck got me a James Avery compass ring. I always wear it with north pointing toward the top of my finger. I like to think that my ring is a gentle reminder of staying on the right path and going toward my true north following the purpose I was put on this earth to accomplish. 

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.”

Proverbs 16:9

Don’t Bite the Hand

 

“Don’t Bite the Hand that Feeds You,” according to Phrasemix means “If someone’s paying you or helping you out, you have to be careful not to make them angry or say bad things about them.”

I think this adage is good for those of us who like to take control of situations. If someone is kind enough to help you out don’t be too quick offer unsolicited advice. It’s generally not going to be received well. 

We can teach our children to think before they act, and in the long run we will be teaching them the social skills that will help them thrive in whatever path they choose. 

You Can Lead a Horse

 

According to English Club, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink,” means the following:

“ You can show people the way to find something or to do something, but you cannot force them to act after that.”

In wondering about the meaning behind this adage I researched further and learned that horses can be very finicky about which water they will drink. This can be extremely frustrating as a horse “need 5-10 gallons a day in order to stay hydrated and healthy.” (horsedrinker.com)

I have a friend who used to be a life coach. However, lamented to me the fact that clients often refused to do their homework. 

Although she may have come armed with many practical tips and ideas they basically were falling on deaf ears, because their client would not “drink.”

Over time she found herself coaching less and less, because she really had no real control over the results. 

In teaching this lesson to our children we need to remind them what they actually have control over. They are responsible for their own actions, and although they might try hard to influence others, ultimately their actions are up to them. 

Kathy

 

Growing up an Army brat  for the first eleven years of my life I don’t have many of those childhood friendships that have lasted over the years. So being able to stand here today to remember a friendship that lasted fifty years is more than special to me. In fact, I count that friendship as one of my greatest blessings. 

Although Kathy and I attended elementary school, junior high and high school together, our friendship really didn’t begin until our junior year when we were fortunate enough to share several classes together. I think it was probably in our typing class that our friendship really blossomed. Kathy shared my off-beat sense of humor and together one day after lunch where we rescued a few pickles from a hamburger Save the Pickle Foundation was founded.  Our creativity took off as we began typing about famous pickles from the past. It was then I knew I had met a kindred spirit. 

During our senior year we served together as officers in Y-Teens and helped behind the scenes with make-up and costumes for several theater productions. Although, it was hard work, what I remember most about Kathy was no matter what we were doing we always had fun. 

Kathy and I attended different colleges, but would always manage to get together when we were home during the summer. When we both began teaching, although in separate districts, we still remained friends. Kathy was even kind enough to loan Kim Sanford and I her dining room table for our first apartment.  

After I got married, though,  I moved to the Frisco area , and as often happens we kind of drifted apart. As you can imagine when I was invited to join a group of former high school classmates in the early 2000s, I was thrilled to be able to rekindle our friendship. We basically picked up where we left off. 

So ever since I’ve been blessed to see Kathy each month as our group, the Yee Haws, has met for dinner at El Felix, along with having traveled together as far as Lake Tahoe, along with several other Texas weekend getaways.

More times than I can count Kathy hosted us at her beautiful White Bluff home. She was so hospitable as she wined and dined us, and always made us feel right at home. I have so many fond memories of the time we spent together there sitting out on her screened  porch watching the deer come up to feed. 

Kathy had a way of telling a story that kept you mesmerized while sitting around the table. In fact, as I have looked back at pictures Kathy always seemed to be front and center as we all gathered around her. And of course her beautiful  smile always shone through. I’m going to miss that smile and her infectious laugh. There certainly is an empty seat at the table now. 

Even though the last years of Kathy’s life were challenging she somehow didn’t allow that to hold her back from living life to the fullest. She always seemed to find a way to spend time with those she loved. She always reminded us that in the end it was love that would win.

I feel honored and blessed that I got to spend time with her just a few days before her passing. As we left we really had no idea if we would see her again. That was a very strange feeling. What I do know, though, is that Kathy had a strong faith that allowed her to transition from her earthly life to a heavenly one where she knew she would once again be reunited with her family. 

I certainly have a hole in my heart at her passing, but count myself so fortunate and blessed to have called her friend all these many years, and rest in the love we shared. 

Take It With

“Take it with a grain of salt,” is an adage I had to research further. To be honest I wasn’t 100% sure exactly what it meant. Merriam-Webster dictionary defines grain of salt as a skeptical attitude. 

According to Kelly Kuehn author of Where Did the Phrase “Take it With a Grain of Salt” Come From?

“When the authenticity of information is questionable, we tell others to take it with a grain of salt.”

In other words if you are not completely confident that the information you are sharing is totally correct or true, you might warn the recipient of the information to “take it with a grain of salt.”

Hopefully, the other person will be motivated to do more research on their own. 

The lesson here for our children is not to believe everything they are told or read. If something sounds off, or the source is questionable takr the extra time to delve further. 

In Kuehn’s research into the original meaning of the phrase she found evidence from 77 AD where the salt was considered an antidote for poison. 

Interestingly words and information can be quite poisonous if delivered maliciously. Use the antidote of “taking it with a grain of salt” to discern the truth. 

(I’m including a picture of my favorite kind of salt, Redmond’s Real Salt )

                                                                                            https://redmond.life/collections/real-salt

All’s Well

“All’s well, that ends well,” is a lesson I taught my five year old grandson today, along with not giving up when things don’t go as planned. 

He had been hard at work assembling his latest Lego set when it appeared that he was missing a critical piece. I tried to convince him to continue without it, but he was adamant that he didn’t want to. His enthusiasm for the project took a 180 degree turn for the worse. 

In my attempt to address the teachable moment of not allowing one wrong thing to get you off track I decided to look for the piece in another set. After combing through several sets I was able to locate a matching piece. 

He continued on until he realized that he had inadvertently placed the “missing piece” in the wrong location. As it turned out he had all the pieces he needed, and within a matter of moments he had completed his Miles Morales car. 

After a quick reading of The Tortoise and the Hare to reinforce tenacity and not giving up so quickly, I ended the lesson with, “All’s well that ends well.”

Later He asked if I could post his Lego car on my blog, so how could I not comply. 

I’ve found that a lot of those old adages we learned as kids are well worth continuing to teach to our kids today.