Widening the Plate

Widening the plate. 

“Don’t widen the plate.”

Coach John Scolinos

I came across a story the other day about a retired college baseball coach named John Scolinos. While speaking to a group of fellow coaches he quizzed them on their knowledge about the size of home plate. 

Apparently from Little League to the pros home plate is always 17 inches wide, and the pitcher is expected to throw the ball over that plate. Scolinos pointed out that if someone was struggling to do so would it make sense to widen the plate to make it easier?

What Scolinos 

was pointing out was that making excuses and allowances for behavior that is missing the mark doesn’t actually end up helping in the long run. If the expectation is 17 inches then it’s time to literally step up to the plate, and put in the hard work required to get the job done. 

Sometimes as parents and teachers we want to make things easier for our children. It is difficult to see them struggle or face disappointment. We may go out of our way to make their young lives “perfect.” That’s actually the easier route as a parent, having to be the bad guy doesn’t feel good. 

In making our children’s lives easier and softer we are really doing them a disservice. Life can be difficult at times, and is filled with disappointment and unfair circumstances. Trying to prevent this by widening the plate, like allowing everyone to be a cheerleader, may sound kind and inclusive. However, in the real world you don’t always get what you want. 

Not everyone has the same level of talent, and some have put in hours of practice to earn their spot on the team. Learning to accept defeat graciously is a life lesson. This year’s winner of American Idol, Laine Hardy, went home last season, and returned this year a better candidate.

The media has coined the phrase “snowflake” to describe many of today’s youth. Perhaps their parents and teachers kept making allowances, and never held them accountable for the personal responsibility that they would need in the future. 

Being a parent is probably the hardest job you’ll ever undertake. Don’t be so quick to “widen the plate.”

Chat Checkout

Chat checkout. 

I read a fascinating article the other day about the Netherlands. Apparently the problem of loneliness in the elderly population is being addressed through the check-out line. 

Unlike the Express Lane found in American grocery stores, they have a Chat Checkout. This is a place where the cashier will spend a little extra time chatting with the customer.

Studies have found that loneliness is a commonly found among seniors. Their daily trek to the market might be their only opportunity to speak with another person that day. 

When they are rushed out the door instead of encouraged to be a part of a community their mental health suffers. They also have included coffee corners where instead of separate tables, customers share the same space while drinking coffee. This too fosters a sense of belonging. 

I remember when I first retired and left behind the familiarity of my school family I found myself adjusting to being alone. Brittany was off at college, and Chuck was at work. Most of my friends were still working full time, and often times the only person I would speak to during the day was the cashier at the checkout. 

What I started to do was to establish relationships with the people I came across on a regular basis. I began speaking to my bank teller, and over time we got to know more about each other.  

Ironically, when I moved to Las Colinas my teller from Frisco had been transferred to that branch, and we had a little reunion when we saw each other again. 

Each time I notice more and more self-checkouts at the store it makes me wonder about the future. Not only will an entire category of jobs will be eliminated, the result may be more and more isolation. 

I was talking with a young cashier at Home Depot the other day about how we used to get our cars filled up by a service station attendant. Now that seems like a million years ago, but I’m sure when my mother said, “Fill her up, and check it under the hood,” it opened the door to conversation. 

The next time you see an elderly person at the store you might consider striking up a conversation. Your future self might appreciate the gesture. 

That Time I Took An Art Class

That time I took an art class. 

I had an unexpected reaction to an art class that I took last night. 

I had been all excited about a colored pencil drawing class that I had signed up for at an art center in Bedford. Now as I look back on it, I realize that I must have focused on the words colored pencils, and conveniently over looked the word drawing. 

Coloring while watching tv has become a nightly pastime for me, and I was excited to learn more about how to use my colored pencils. 

When I saw the class advertised at the local community art center 

it didn’t take me long to sign up, and I happily anticipated attending. 

Now, did I come away from the class with a few new ways to use my pencils? Yes. Did I enjoy getting to meet some new people at the class? Yes. Did I get a lead on some pretty awesome buttery soft pencils? You betcha. 

Did I have an overall fun time? NO!

Wait, I thought I was the one always wanting to learn new things? I thought I was the one always pushing myself out of my comfort zone to reap the benefits of the new experience? I thought I was the one who was always encouraging others to do the same? 

Unfortunately it didn’t turn out that way. I felt like a total hypocrite the first hour and a half into the class. Our instructor asked us to draw a pair of cherries that we would use to learn the techniques of shading and layering. I reluctantly began “sketching” two sphere-like objects, all the while panicking at my lack of drawing prowess.  

I was so uncomfortable, and so unhappy with the pitiful looking cherries that were before me, that I wished I could just slink out the back door. As I looked around at everyone else’s I was totally embarrassed at how bad mine looked. Even the ten year old child sitting close by had produced something that resembled a real cherry. 

As the instructor made her way around the room to brag about each person’s efforts, I was quite relieved that she never said anything about mine. It would have been even more embarrassing for her to pretend that they resembled cherries in any form or fashion. 

I kept trying to convince myself that I should just relax and have fun, but I was not buying into it. Added to the discomfort I was feeling was the fact that I kept having to switch out my glasses. One pair to see the instructor, and one pair to see what I was doing. I’m sure it was quite comical to watch, and it certainly took away from my enjoyment.

Luckily, near the end of the cherry debacle, she let us draw our own picture to practice our shading and layering techniques. I quickly sketched a very familiar butterfly which I have been drawing for years. 

My mood changed immediately. The comfort of the known allowed me to test the waters of the new techniques with little difficulty. I cheerfully engaged in conversation with those around me totally clueless as to where the shading should go, and how to determine where the lighting might hit the butterfly’s wings. 

Now I can’t say that the whole experience was a total waste of time by any means, but it did leave me questioning whether I really do enjoy trying new things that I’m not good at?

I think I’ve got sixty-three years of product ingrained in my DNA, and the whole process thing is not something I relish, especially when I know I’m not doing a good job. 

Now I know I’ve probably been overly dramatic in my recollection of last night, but I suppose more than anything I was totally shocked at how I reacted, and a little bummed that I did so. 

Have you found yourself feeling uncomfortable when you tried something new?

Putting Things Off

Putting things off. 

Why is it we never have any problem watching the next episode of Big Brother, or eating at our favorite restaurant, or scrolling through our Face Book page? But when it comes to cleaning up the kitchen after dinner or sitting down to pay bills or going through the junk mail we always seem to find ourselves putting these things off?

Plain and simple we easily do the things we enjoy, and we put off the things we don’t like to do. I think this is pretty much just human nature and we all are guilty of it in one way or another. 

This is where I think self-discipline comes into play. As much as I wish I was overjoyed at making my bed each morning I must admit that I find it extremely boring, and left to my own devices it would remain unmade. 

However, it does get made for the following reasons. One because I like the way my bedroom looks when the bed is made. Neat and tidy makes me feel better, and secondly I like how it feels at night when I get into a bed that has been made. 

I don’t really love cleaning up the kitchen each night after dinner. I find that boring too, but I do it because just like Gretchen Rubin says, “Outer order contributes to inner calm.”

So each night I get myself off the couch and head to the kitchen to do the dishes. It’s not fun no matter how much I try to convince myself, but through discipline I accomplish the task. If somewhere along the line we got the message that we only had to do the things we enjoy, then we got the wrong message. 

So instead of feeling guilty, and beating yourself up for being a procrastinator, realize that most of us are card carrying members of this club. It’s human nature to shy away from things we don’t find fun, but by mustering up the self-discipline we need to get the job done, we can reap the reward. 

Life isn’t always fun or easy, and self-discipline is hard, but  just like I used to tell my students, “Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean we don’t do it.”

So whatever you’ve been putting off just get up and go do it. If need be play your favorite music or listen to Dr. Laura. Whatever it takes to make it more tolerable just go for it.

You’ll feel better about yourself for getting it done when your through. How does procrastination play a role in your life?

Poop Patrol

Poop patrol

I was backing out of my driveway the other day when I noticed a small pick-up truck parked at my neighbors. There was a man sitting on the curb beside the truck, and I almost stopped to lament the absurdity that picking up poop was now an actual business. 

I promise you twenty years ago nobody except the ultra rich were paying someone else to pick up their dog’s poop. That being said, at the same time I couldn’t help but be impressed by the entrepreneurial spirit of the first pooper scooper. 

There was a need, and it was met. Picking up poop is one of those unpleasant tasks that has to be done. Why not pay someone else a few extra bucks to do so? You end up with a yard you can walk barefoot in, and someone providing the service earns a living. 

Of course, I couldn’t leave well enough alone, and got to thinking about how only people with disposable income would have the money to procure such a service. Or if you are like me, and particularly frugal, the thought of spending your hard earned dollars on poop retrieval just doesn’t sit well. 

It was then I got to thinking about universal poop removal as a human right. Why should I be denied a clean backyard when the tax dollars of myself and others might make the service “free.”

You know back in the day politicians used to promise, “A chicken in every pot.” Today the promise of universal poop removal for your canine companions might be the winning ticket. 

Welcome to the election cycle folks. 

Art

Art.

“To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it.”

Kurt Vonnegut 

The definition of art is “an expression or application of human creative skill and imagination.”

Now why would this be important or necessary in ones life? Simply because it is who we are, and in our nature to express ourselves in a creative way. 

I have a high school friend who makes the most beautiful quilts, a cousin-in-law who spins her own yarn and knits amazing socks, and another friend who shares her humor and insight daily through her blog. 

These are just a few examples of people expressing themselves creatively through their “art” of choice. Each time we decorate our home, or plan a birthday party, or create a new meal we are utilizing our inborn creative nature. 

Don’t be stifled by the misconception that art should only be done well. Spread your creative wings in a way that fits you, and enjoy the process. 

The Best Birthday Gift Ever

The best birthday gift ever. 

As you may remember I celebrated a birthday at the beginning of this month. 

Chuck was scrolling through Face Book when he came across something he thought I might like, so he ordered it.

Now we’ve all pretty much been spoiled by Amazon Prime and its two day delivery that he didn’t really give a second thought to when it would arrive. He figured ordering it three days before my birthday would assure a timely delivery. 

Now I wish I could say this was the case, except here I sit ten days later, and it still hasn’t made its way here. You see this gift wasn’t only made in China it was actually shipped FROM China, so the two day rule was out of the question. 

Now luckily the company has done a good job at keeping Chuck apprised of the gift’s location, and Chuck has been texting me regularly to keep me in the loop. I thought I might share the texts that have come my way along with a description of the accompanying giphy that was sent alongside each message. 

Tuesday July 9

Your gift will arrive within the next 6-11 business days!…

(The giphy image was a small tugboat style boat fighting the waves as it began its journey from China.)

Wednesday July 10

The gift had made it to Chicago and the text said, Your gift will be arriving shortly…Maybe 6-11 business days.

( The giphy image was a WWII style bicycle and bicyclists pedaling as fast as he could from Chicago.)

Saturday July 13

Your package will be arriving soon (6-11 business days)

(The giphy image was a man running at breakneck speed carrying two suitcases under his arms.)

Sunday July 14

Your package has arrived in  San Antonio and will arrive at your house tomorrow OR in 6-11 working days.

(The giphy image was the infamous picture of an airport worker throwing packages onto a conveyor belt.)

Monday July 15

Your package is to arrive sometime between 9:00 am and noon OR between none and 9:00 pm. Please be there to sign for the package. 

( The giphy image was a man checking his watch, and NO I really didn’t need to be there to sign for it. 

Tuesday July 16

Your package has arrived in Ft. Worth little lady, and should be delivered by sundown…OR In the next 6-11 business days!

(The giphy image was a cowboy basically lassoing himself with a rope-you know Cowtown.)

Now I have no idea if it really will arrive by sundown, but I have a feeling no matter the gift, I think the text messages have won the show, and is the real gift. 

Thanks Chuck for making a bad situation hilarious! I’ll have to let you know what the gift is once it arrives or maybe I should say if it arrives!

Ask a Different Question

Ask a different question. 

If you are stuck coming up with a solution to a problem it might be time to ask a different question. 

In the article How to Think Like Leonardo by Keith Harry and Eileen Donahue Robinson, they give the example of trying to arrange a certain number of desks into a small office area. As they struggled to make it work they realized that they were asking the wrong question. 

It wasn’t how many desks can we fit in a room they needed,  but rather how many people can we provide a workspace for?   In looking at the situation differently they realized that a traditional desk for each person was not really necessary.

It’s easy to get caught in a loop of doing the same thing in the same way, and not considering other alternatives that might work better. That’s why it’s important to ask the right question.

I am not naturally adept at looking at things in an unconventional way, although I worked with many teachers over the years that were. The day I saw a teacher twisting bulletin board paper into rainforest vines my eyes were opened. Who knew it could be used for anything other than a way to cover a cork bulletin board?

Learning to ask questions differently and not just relying on convention may be a challenge at first, but it might be worth it when the end results help to solve your problem. 

What You Do Today

What you do today. 

“What you do today can change all the tomorrows of your life. 

Zig Ziegler 

Zig Ziegler was a motivational speaker who influenced the lives of many. 

He was a particular favorite of a former principal of mine who adopted his words, “See you at the top,” as our school motto. Each morning we began our day with these words as we gathered for a morning assembly. 

I think what Zig knew was that even the simplest of decisions we make each day can have an effect on our future. 

As teachers we tried to emphasize this fact to our students as we encouraged them to give their best effort. 

I’m in an interesting season of my life where my time is basically my own. This is truly a blessing, but it also comes with the responsibility of continuing to make good choices. 

As you go through your day think about how your actions are contributing to or taking away from the life you desire. 

Best Mom Ever

Best mom ever!

I called my daughter mid-morning the other day, and she informed me that the boys were in the bathtub. Knowing they usually bathe at night I asked her why?

Apparently they had been playing in the backyard earlier when a sudden storm popped up. They sat on the covered porch watching the rain come down until it stopped a few minutes later. 

It was then, I’m assuming, the oldest asked if they could play in the mud puddles. I only say this because the youngest’s language is quite limited. However, to be honest, I could see him thinking it up because it sounds just like him. 

Of course, having the best mom ever they proceeded to have a ball playing in the puddles. 

When they were through they made their way to the tub for a quick clean-up, which is actually quite fun in itself when you are bathing with your brother. 

So glad my grandsons have a mom who knows what’s really important in life, and a mom that can be there to do so. Thanks Brittany for being the best mom ever!

Facebook Birthday

Facebook birthday. 

I’m not really sure what we did before Facebook when it came to our birthdays?

Yes, I’m sure we received a few cards, a present or two, and a resounding chorus of Happy Birthday which actually is all really great. 

However, a whole new level has been added to your birthday when you get to reminisce about each and every person who wished you a Happy Birthday on Facebook. 

It really is remarkable how many different people cross your path over sixty-three years. Family, friends, co-workers, classmates from elementary through college, friends of friends, former students, club members, and church family, and even a few you’ve never actually met in person are all a part of your life through social media. 

No matter the role each person has played in your life, whether large or small, they all are a part of your life story. I wanted to thank everyone for remembering me on my birthday this year. Your kindness brought a smile to my face, and I look forward to staying in touch this next year. 

Commitment

Commitment.

Each morning as I walk at the gym I can’t help but notice a mother-daughter duo down below on the gym floor shooting hoops. I should say the daughter is the one doing the shooting, and the mother appears to be the one doing the coaching. 

They are usually there before I get there, and remain there after I leave. As I generally only walk for thirty minutes I have to guess they might be there for at least an hour. The girl appears to be around high school age, and seems very committed to improving her basketball skills. I imagine that she will be trying out for her high school team in the fall. 

As I think about this commitment of time, and the discipline required to improve her skills I can’t help but be impressed. It appears to me that this mother is committed to helping her daughter improve her basketball skills through hard work and practice. 

Last week I wrote about the difference between interest and commitment. Interest is definitely the easier of the two, and often borders simply on the fun and enjoyment of something, which isn’t always a bad thing. 

Commitment, on the other hand, may require sacrifice, something almost avoided at all costs these days. Discipline is easier when doled out by someone else. Parents, teachers, and employers have a way of holding our feet to the fire. 

Self-discipline, on the other hand, may be the harder of the two. When you have only yourself to be accountable to you may be too quick to give yourself a pass. I have found this to be true in my life.

Two interests of mine, theology and nutrition, have basically remained in this category. As much as I seem to want to know more about both, I can’t seem to be able to muster up the discipline required to follow through on learning more about either subject. 

By keeping them in the interest category it gives me an excuse not to put in the hard work that might be required to learn more about them. In order to cross over to the commitment realm it would require self-discipline on my part. 

I would need to schedule time in my day for reading and study. Now before you jump to the conclusion that that would be unpleasant for me, let me assure you that wouldn’t be the case. Always the student, I actually enjoy reading and studying. The proof being found in the many notebooks in my home filled with notes taken over the years on subjects that had caught my interest.  

However, where I seem to fall short is in my focus, and perseverance. I only dip my toe into the water when I feel so inclined. In doing so I feel disappointed in myself for not following through, and accomplishing what I had aspired to do. 

A very wise friend of mine, Varun, commented on my last posting about interest vs commitment in this manner:

“It is true, commitment is what separates the real joy and temporary happiness. Discipline is a key aspect of following through on a commitment.”

Rababi Varun Arora

Picture Postcard Memories

Picture postcard moments. 

Chuck and I just returned from a three day trip to Galveston. 

Now if you are looking for a glorious beach experience then this probably isn’t the place for you. However, if you just want to get away for a few days it can be a fun trip. 

Both Chuck and I agree that sometimes those short getaways are the most enjoyable. They don’t require too much upfront planning, and you only need to be away from your furry companions for a short time. 

It had been close to fifteen years since I had been to Galveston, but my last time there had been one of the more memorable times in my life. I had traveled down with my co-workers to write aBlue Ribbon proposal for our school. It was there listening to the crash of the waves that I was reminded how much I loved writing. 

I tucked that dream away until after retirement, but am so happy that I began writing my blog four years ago. It had been years since Chuck had visited Galveston so we decided to give it a go. 

We dropped Cooper off that morning at his beloved pet sitter Glenda,  and hit the road. On the way there we stopped by Woody’s Smokehouse in Centerville, for some beef jerky. We actually ended up getting some buffalo jerky called Texas Fire, and Chuck voted it possible the best jerky ever. 

As luck would have it we got caught in a rainstorm around the time we entered Houston. We made our way down to the island and checked in a little early to our hotel. A few hours later when the rain had slowed we made our way out to check out the surroundings.

I had remembered eating at Shrimp and Stuff the last time I was there, and with the help of GPS we located it pretty easily. We were happy to find that we had timed our arrival perfectly, and were happily munching on fried shrimp a few minutes later without battling the dinner crowd. We could tell that this was a local favorite, and along with some good tasting seafood, we munched on some tasty spicy hush puppies. 

As we made our way back to the hotel we couldn’t help but stop to ogle a beautiful piece of architecture, which ended up being Bishop’s Palace, and the next day we returned, and enjoyed the tour, learning more about Galveston’s early history. Did you know that Galveston was once the largest city in Texas?

As my daughter, Brittany likes to say, “It’s not a Hughes vacation if it doesn’t include a little bit of history.” Okay to be perfectly honest-a lot of history. 

Along with Bishop’s Palace we visited The Strand, a shopping and dining area, in downtown Galveston. I was excited to find a 4 Ocean bracelet that I had had my eye on for a while. I chose the green sea turtle bracelet, and left also with some bamboo straws, and the cutest Mud Pie pirate tooth fairy pillow for some little boys I know. 

After leaving The Strand we googled where to get a cheeseburger, and The Mosquito Cafe came up as a choice. Intrigued by the name we made our way there, and were not disappointed. After a delicious blue cheese burger we made our way across the street to Patty Cakes for a yummy cupcake and pastry.

By now the sun had finally broken through, so we made our way to the beach to do the required barefoot walk along the shore. This is about as much beach time as we like, and we were happy to do so without paying for parking. 

Dinner was exceptional at the renowned Gaido’s and between grilled shrimp, and the pecan crunch a la mode we were glad we had made it a part of our trip. The funniest thing happened when I looked over and commented that a man sitting a few tables over looked just like our pastor. Remarkably, it was him, and his family. We teased him that the church had sent us there to keep an eye on him!

The next morning we checked out and headed toward the Battleship Texas, and the San Jacinto Monument. I was pretty impressed with my ladder climbing skills as I made my way up and down the decks of the battleship. We picnicked on site, and then hit the road. 

Several hours later we had picked up Cooper, and were relaxing in our own living room. Short and sweet, but still lots of fun.