Comparison

Comparison. 

I’ve found myself trying to write this post several times over the last few days, however without much luck. It has been on my mind, but at the same time I’ve found it difficult to write about because it doesn’t really cast me in the best light.

Merriam-Webster defines to compare as: “to examine the character of qualities especially in order to discover resemblances or differences; to view in relation to.”

Is it in our human nature to compare? Throughout my life I have found myself viewing others in relation to myself. This weighing out of others works something like a balance scale. 

Sometimes I come out on top and sometimes I don’t. This attempt to somehow see where I fit  has left me feeling less than, and sometimes unfortunately better than. 

It may be natural to observe differences or similarities, but using them as a judgement tool does not seem right to me, although I have been guilty of doing so. So often the things we choose to compare are actually things we have no control over. Wishing to have brown eyes when you have blue is futile. 

I found myself the other day comparing myself to a woman close to my age at the gym. I couldn’t help but notice that she was especially fit and trim. Rather than rejoicing in her good fortune I found myself lacking. Each time she passed me on the track I found myself feeling less than joyful. 

In thinking about it the next day I realized that spending my time comparing myself to her took away from the enjoyment I usually get while walking and listening to podcasts. It really bothered me that at my age I still would fall into the comparison trap. 

Theodore Roosevelt remarked, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” I was literally enjoying myself less because I didn’t feel I measured up. It really bothered me that I reacted this way. 

I felt a little ashamed that I was still doing this at sixty-two. After all I’m long past my teenaged years where this seemed to be my everyday struggle. 

I’m learning that each experience is a lesson to be learned if I’m willing to learn it. I don’t want to allow comparison to get in the way of how I feel about myself or others. So this student of life will return to the gym with a new attitude.