The Privilege of Growing Old

The privilege of growing old. 

My mother never experienced growing old. Her life was cut short at fifty, and she never saw her children grow to adulthood or spend time with her grandchildren. 

Her mother, my grandmother, on the other hand lived until her late nineties,
and advised me to, “Never grow old.” Not only did she meet her grandchildren, but her great grandchildren as well. 

My own view on aging has changed some over the last few years. I used to think that getting old had more to do with a chronological number, and perhaps a few wrinkles. It wasn’t until my Dad was moved to memory care that I began to understand that for many growing old was almost like coming full circle. 

The independence of youth, something never questioned, begins to fade away resulting in an almost childlike state for some. Of course, there are still those lucky few who seem to escape some of the limitations associated with growing older. 

As I witnessed my Dad’s struggle with aging I began to reevaluate whether growing older was a good thing? It was then I began to think that maybe, somehow, I might be able to control the outcome of my aging.That perhaps through diet or exercise or learning new things I might be able to hold on to my youth for just a little bit longer. 

Recently, though, I learned about a gerontologist, Dr. Bill Thomas, who has embraced a new way of looking at aging. Rather than looking at it as something to fight against, he recommends embracing what he calls elderhood. If you live long enough, and many of us will, we will be faced with the challenges of our 
advancing age, however how we view that reality can make our final stage, elderhood, something not to dread. 

I think what was making me sad was that I was wasting valuable time today worrying about what might happen in my future, as if I really had any control over it. If eventually you find yourself relying more on the help of others is that actually so bad? It just may be the circle of life. 

One of Dr. Thomas’ beliefs is that by changing the environment we can change the quality of life for our seniors. He has advocated bringing animals, plants, and children into the lives of the older generation. He has found the quality of life for seniors to greatly improve when these are added to their lives.  Medications have been decreased, and wheelchairs have been discarded when our oldest citizens are living richer lives influenced by animals, plants and children. 

Of course, who knows what the future will bring, but for now I’m going to appreciate each age and stage as much as possible. I will accept that my eyesight isn’t as great, that my knees don’t quite work like they used to, and that my memory won’t be winning any competitions. 

However, I feel comfortable in my skin at this age. I’m loving being a grandmother, I’m reconnecting with old friends, and I am enjoying the freedom of retirement after many years of work. 

Aging is not for the faint of heart they say, but as Earl Warren reminds us, “Don’t complain about growing old, many people do not have that privilege.”

I’m including a link to Dr. Thomas’ website if you are interested in learning more. 

https://drbillthomas.org