Journey

Journey. 

Adventurer Jeff Johnson attests, "The best journeys answer questions that in the beginning you didn't even think to ask." I love the idea of finding answers to questions you hadn't even thought of yet. 

Perhaps for me, one of the most influential journeys in my life was the year I turned twenty. We celebrated my birthday in New England during a bicentennial vacation with my family, taking in all the historical sights there were to see.  The impact of that vacation basically changed the trajectory of my future. 

Interestingly enough though, I had no idea when I left for those  two weeks the adventures that lay ahead. I didn't even consider for one moment the questions that soon would be answered. My love of history confirmed that it would be my minor in college, and the direction I was headed went a completely different way. 

If I had not embarked on that journey, my life would have continued down a very predictable path. I have also found that life is enriched in one way or another when I seek out new journeys, whether they be a vacation or just a new experience. 

Don't fall victim to thinking you have all the answers when you may have never even considered the question. 

Ideas

Ideas. 

I absolutely love ideas. I especially love it when an idea grows wings and takes flight. Oliver Wendell Holmes remarked, "Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions."

I think sometimes we have a tendency to limit our ideas. Or if an idea does present itself we might not be paying close enough attention. Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Big Magic, believes that if not embraced by its original owner an idea will move onto a more willing participant. 

I've learned to be more open to ideas. I am more observant of what I see, hear and read. If an idea comes to mind, I am quick to jot it down, so it can be revisited at a later date. I find that ideas are what sparks creativity. 

There is a journalistic term called "saving string."  It refers to saving all those bits and pieces that come along the way that can be used for that next great story. One of my favorite movies from the 80's was Working Girl starring Melanie Griffith. Her character would do just that. Always on the lookout for interesting ideas, she combined them to change the tragectory of her life. 

Ideas come from many places. Be on the look out and see what develops.

Habits

Habits. 

"Powerful indeed is the empire of habit." These are the words of Publilius Syrus, a man born in 85 BC. Apparently the pull of the habit has been around for a long time. 

In her book, Small Move, Big Change, author Caroline L. Arnold writes about the auto-pilot 
component of habit. She stresses how most of our habits have followed us from childhood. 
Habits can either be good or bad, and we spend most of our life either trying to eliminate bad habits, or embracing good ones. However, we often find ourselves falling short on both sides. 

She proposes something she calls a microresolution as a way of changing behavior. By beginning with small manageable changes we can begin to work toward the auto-pilot component of habit formation. Rather than changing everything at once when attempting to lose weight, start with a microresolution like making sure to eat breakfast in the morning. Look for changes that  you can reasonably achieve without Herculean effort. 

When we are constantly weighing our options and making choices, our resolve can quickly be worn down. While on the other hand, we have a much better chance at success when habits prevent us from constant decision making.  Obviously habits can be powerful in both negative and positive ways, but don't allow the negative ones to reign supreme. 

Grit

Grit. 

"Your dreams are on the other side of your grit,"is a popular saying found on the Internet. But what exactly does grit mean? Its definition is, "courage and resolve; strength of character." How does grit play a role in success?

Researcher, Angela Duckworth, author of Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, has studied this quality that allows someone not to give up when they have experienced failure. She writes, "Grit is sticking with your future." It is looking at each failure along the way as another step closer to accomplishing your goals. 

Learning to persevere is a life skill that will be called upon time and time again. When I think of grit, I can't help but be reminded of a childhood favorite movie, True Grit. Who couldn't help but root for the heroes as we see them persevere to the end? We've all felt like giving up at times, but the "strength of character" that grit produces is well worth the effort. 

Make it your practice to finish what you start. See your task to completion, and pick yourself up if needed and try again. Allow grit to define you. 

Failure Celebration

Failure celebration. 

Isn't that an oxymoron? Not so for founder and CEO of Spanks, Sara Blakely. Celebrating failure is a common occurrence as she has reframed the way she looks at failure. 

Growing up her father would ask at the dinner table what her failures had been that day? He would then celebrate with a high five, and be disappointed if there was nothing to report. 

Sara says, "Failure for me became not trying versus the outcome." When she did something that maybe ended in embarrassment he would encourage her to write down the "hidden gifts" that resulted from the failure. There was always a lesson to be learned, and to be used the next time.  What a gift given to her by a loving father who allowed and encouraged effort which might result in failure. 

Once again this idea of growth mindset, taught by Carol Dweck, is reinforced in teaching our children not to avoid failure at all costs, but rather to look for the fun in learning something new. 

Sara's father was teaching her the best lesson of all; our worth does not come from our wins, but from our efforts. Look toward any person of success and you will find that they have experienced failure. If your failures are few then you probably have not tried often enough. Don't waste those opportunities for failure. And then celebrate!

Eccentric

Eccentric. 

An eccentric person according to definition is one of unconventional and slightly strange views or behaviors. When I think of eccentric, the crazy cat lady comes to mind. Of course, at this moment I have a dog on one shoulder and a cat on my arm as I attempt to type. So maybe who's crazy now?

Philosopher Bertrand Russell in his autobiography writes, "Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric."

In yesterday's post I discussed how embarrassment can hold us back from attempting something new. However, in adopting a more eccentric lifestyle embarrassment might become a thing of the past. 

I will admit that I am sometimes quick to judge a person primarily on their looks. I  find myself immediately jumping to the conclusion of strange or weird. I wonder why they seem comfortable in being so unconventional?  But if truth be known I find myself somewhat envious that they have the courage to do so. 

Marching to the beat of your own drummer seems to become easier as you age. You begin to worry less about what others think, and start embracing the things that truly reflect your own likes and dislikes. Does this always mean you've crossed over into the realm of eccentric? Possibly not, but then again, why not? 

Doubt

Doubt. 

"Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will," are the words of author Suzy Kassem. When I think of doubt it reminds me of the children I taught in elementary school. Doubt is not a quality often possessed by young children, but it does begin to rear its ugly head sometime in the mid-elementary years. Second graders rarely doubt their ability to do anything if it is presented with enough enthusiasm. Meanwhile, convincing a group of fifth graders that they are capable might be a losing battle. 

A young child never limits their aspirations in adulthood to only one thing. In fact, they confidently embrace multiple, and very different future occupations. Being a ballerina and a doctor is a no-brainier when you are seven. 

Now obviously, as we mature we gain a more realistic view of our strengths and weaknesses, but what saddens me is that our doubts limit our possibilities. We rarely give ourselves the opportunity to fail before we let our doubt insist that something is impossible. 

We worry too much about how we might appear to the world. Embarrassment and foolishness become our biggest enemies. Why is it that theses two words are nowhere on the radar of a child? In fact, most everything they do is embarrassing and foolish, and yet we as adults find it endearing. 

So what do you do with doubt? You know that it exists, but denial comes easily. Perhaps you would do better to just accept it. By not denying its presence you don't allow it to determine your future. Start by pushing past your doubt a little at a time. Look it squarely in the eye and let it know that you will determine your future.