Lessons

 I really admire tenacious people. My husband is one of these. You know, those people who don’t give up easily and power through a difficult task. 

I wish I could say the same thing about me. You know, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”

I’m one of those who prefers things to be quick and easy. If I find myself struggling I generally just give up and move onto the next thing. In high school I dropped out of the leading role in our One Act Play because I felt so uncomfortable. I’ve regretted that decision to this day. 

I’m one of those people who pretty much crave the next thing. I changed grade levels regularly over my teaching career finding myself ready for a new challenge. I’ve bounced from denomination to denomination over the years never quite content to stay in one place.  If I don’t something new to work on I find myself restless. 

I also have learned, to quote my high school friend, Barbara, “It’s hard to have fun with it, if it’s frustrating.” In other words, if it’s too hard or takes too long to complete, I’m out. 

At the beginning of the year I started a new crafting project. I had seen something called Woobles come across my feed. It is a crocheting kit made for beginners, and looked awfully cute. 

Now I already knew the basics of crotchet and decided this would be a perfect way for me to learn how to follow a pattern. The reviews were glowing and everyone seemed to love their Woobles kit. Except apparently me, once I got started. 

From the beginning I struggled to follow the video instructions. I ended up starting over a couple of times. Although my dinosaur began to take shape, I was not enjoying any of the process. It was not fun to me. 

I struggled for a few weeks, reluctantly returning to my project. I kept thinking it was building character for me to not give up, and stick with it. 

Until one day I just said, “Forget about it!” and put it up. I haven’t looked back since.

As much as I have encouraged others over the years to try new things, I felt a little hypocritical. Who was I to promote this when obviously I couldn’t even finish a silly crocheted dinosaur. 

However, as I really thought about it I realized that it wasn’t the finished product that was the important thing here. It was the trying of something new. 

Just because you attempt something new doesn’t automatically mean you are going to like it. I’ve tried jigsaw puzzles, knitting and baking, but none of these ended up being something I really enjoyed. 

That being said, it was the experience that was the more important thing. What is the old saying? “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

Perhaps the real lesson learned here is that if you never tried you might miss out on something that you really do enjoy. 

Rather than trying to change my natural inclinations, I’m going to stop being so hard on myself expecting perfection. 

Instead of looking at my Woobles experience as a fail, I’m going to chalk it up as a win in the column of “Things I Don’t Enjoy Doing.”

To quote one of my favorite authors, Gretchen Rubin, “Onward!”

Sweet

 

An interesting thing happened on April 1st. I gave up sugar. 

Today it’s been almost two months of life without added sugar and I can honestly say I’ve not really missed it. Technically I have has dessert on Easter, Mother’s Day and one random other day. 

However, my daily consumption of added sugar has come to a screeching  halt. I have become quite content with a little cutie as my sweet of choice. 

I didn’t intend to give up sugar that day, but I was listening to a podcast about a woman who had beaten drug addiction. She told the story of receiving a coin for one day sober. 

I wondered if I could go one day without eating candy? What I did know for sure was that I do much better abstaining than moderating. One chip at a Mexican restaurant can lead to ten, while saying no to that first chip makes it easy to refrain. 

So I did it. I went one day without candy, and that turned into two and then a month, and then almost two months. 

What I found was I no longer craved sugar and my palate seemed to be craving healthier choices. Everything healthy just seemed to taste better. 

Along with the giving up of sweets I had already challenged myself about a month before to start walking thirty minutes three times a week. Over time that turned into five times a week. This was due to a Wellness class I had started attending in February at my local hospital. 

I reinvested in a Fitbit and kept track of my steps. Eight to ten thousand steps a day became the norm. 

Along with more intentional healthy eating an interesting thing happened. After giving up the sugar I was able to lose seven pounds in a  little over a month. 

I had been trying to lose those dang pounds for over a year, but they just seemed stuck. 

I also learned that my cholesterol had gone down sixty points, and I was no longer showing to be insulin resistant. It was as if my body was beginning to work properly again. 

Between no sugar, more activity, healthier food choices and doing resistance exercise at the gym two times a week, the weight seemed to becoming off easily. And without me feeling deprived.

Now what I excused as an addiction to sugar turned out not to be. I literally had no side effects when I gave up sugar. No cravings, no headache. Basically, it took a little self-discipline for a few days, and I was good to go. 

I will share with you, though, that I did use a little plastic quarter given to me by my grandson, as my “sober coin.” I kept it in my pocket, and would take it out to remind me of what I was striving toward. It was a physical representation of giving up sugar. 

Now you might wonder about those times that I did indulge. To be honest they were just okay-nothing earth shattering. I don’t have a problem celebrating a special occasion with a sweet treat. It’s not having sugar a regular part of my life that I really enjoy now.

MAHA

Latest Snack Obsession

 I wanted to share with you my latest snack obsession. 

 I picked up a package of sweet peppers from H‑E‑B. 

I cut the pepper in half and scraped away the seeds. 

Then I spread a wedge of light Laughing Cow cheese inside the pepper. 

Finally, I sprinkled Everything but the Bagel seasoning on top. 

Talk about yummy! That and the crunchiness makes it really tasty.

Do you have a favorite healthy snack? 

Fun

 

I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t have enough fun in my life. Of course, what exactly is fun? According to Merriam-Webster fun is, “providing entertainment, amusement, or enjoyment.”

Now this may seem simple enough, but in reality what one person finds fun another may not. It took me a while to figure this out. 

When everyone was anticipating the opening game of baseball season I could have cared less. Yes, I had attended several games over the years, and always enjoyed the company, but the game itself was rarely what I found interesting or fun. 

Today, however, I look forward to attending my grandsons games, not so much for the love of the game, but rather for the love of my grandsons. I always have a fun time hanging out with them, and love being one of their biggest supporters.

As I contemplate the things that I find fun I actually came up short. Dare say, I may be considered a stick in the mud when it comes to fun. I rarely just cut loose. 

In fact, some of the things I used to enjoy doing no longer appeal to me. However, sadly I’ve not come up with a list of new fun things to take their place. 

In an attempt to study fun a little more (now doesn’t that sound fun, except to me it does) I started observing my three year old grandson whose middle name should be FUN. 

He approaches life with an attitude of fun. He misses no opportunity to enjoy life. Whether it’s riding his balance bike through a giant puddle, shaking his booty to the Gummy Bear song, or playing endlessly in the sandbox with his trucks he embraces all the fun that life offers.

I definitely could learn a thing or two from him. I’ve noticed that as we age many of us embrace inhibition. We have been conditioned to care too much about what others think, and have made people pleasing a high priority.

It’s very hard to have fun without a Iight disposition.  If everywhere you look you see what is wrong you begin to walk around with a dark cloud overhead. 

Children are generally carefree in their demeanor, and take in the wonder of the tiniest roly poly, or the muddiest puddle. They have a gleam in their eye as they look for the next fun thing always expecting to find it. 

The other day we were out riding in the pasture with our grandsons. At one point all of them opened their mouths wide and screamed at the top of their lungs. 

Now my adult sensibilities told me to keep my mouth shut,but in the spirit of fun I opened my mouth wide and screamed along with them. I must admit it felt good to just cut loose. 

Today I’m on a quest (one of my favorite things and something I consider fun) to identify all the things I consider fun. I’m also hoping to add a few new fun things that I’ve not considered before. 

Looking back to your own childhood is a good place to start. What you loved to do as a child might be a great starting point, and could point you toward something you might enjoy doing today. 

However, when doing so consider the words of author of The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin, 

“You can choose what you do, but you can’t choose what you like to do.”

This can serve as a compass in determining the things that really ring true to you, and not just something you’ve gone along with over the years. 

What do you consider fun?

Of Course

 About a year ago I began to learn more about the role of emotions in my life. Today I have a better understanding and I thought I might share what I have learned. 

I am giving credit to Dr. Eddie Wadsworth of the House of Joy podcast for what I have learned and put into practice. I can honestly say that, overall, I am more content in knowing these techniques. 

The first tool I recommended is a feelings wheel. This can be found online and it will help you to narrow down exactly what you are feeling. I have been guilty of categorizing my emotions as basically happy or sad. I’m either feeling good or bad. However, emotions are more nuanced than that. 

If you can find the correct word to really describe how you are feeling then you can move on to the next step. 

Once you have determined what you are feeling, like frustrated for example, you then say to yourself, “Of course, I’m feeling frustrated.” You say this with no judgement. You are just acknowledging your feelings. 

We have to get past the idea that there are good emotions and bad emotions. Actually, there are only emotions. These are God given for the purpose of educating you. 

Next allow the emotion to sit with you for a moment or longer, and then allow it to wash away like a wave in the ocean. A couple of deep breaths can aid in allowing this to happen. 

What I was guilty of was bringing that emotion immediately to my head where I would ruminate on it for hours or even days. What generally resulted was a lot of unhappiness and stress as I tried to figure out what to do next. 

By validating your feelings with the words, “Of course,” it allows you to stop beating yourself up. Instead of feeing bad for those perceived negative feelings you realize that you are no different from everyone else. 

Given the same set of experiences most people would feel the same way. It allows you to move on. 

Another realization was that I didn’t have to outsource my emotions based on the emotions of others. Just because someone else was feeling a certain way didn’t mean I had to join in. 

This alone was extremely freeing in realizing that I had control over what I did with the emotion I was feeling. 

Today I acknowledge my emotion, often checking in with my feelings wheel to make sure I’ve identified it correctly. I don’t ruminate on that emotion for an extended period of time. This has been a game changer.

Instead, I pay attention to the lesson it is trying to teach me. I also, don’t rush to exchange a so called negative emotion with a positive one. Recently, I pinpointed my emotion as dread. Several things had occurred in a short period of time, and I couldn’t quite pinpoint how I was feeling. 

In reflecting on what dread actually was (through a quick Google search) I was able to better understand why I was feeling that way, and to move on without too much trouble. It’s not that I completely brushed aside that feeling, but rather it didn’t hold a prominent place in my day to day life as it had been. 

Using the feelings wheel and the simple words, “Of course, you feel that way,” allowed me not to remain stuck in that emotion. I’m hoping these tools might be of benefit to you as well. 

Let me know what you think. 

Your Brain

I learned something the other day about the brain that I found quite interesting. Apparently, through no fault of your own, your brain is naturally wired to seek pleasure, avoid pain and conserve energy. 

Now on many levels this makes sense. Think back to caveman days when conserving energy just might have saved your life. Because these traits are hardwired it can be challenging to rise above them. 

What I’ve discovered, though, is we have a tendency to be hard on ourselves whenever we fall short. In January many of us had lofty dreams of how this year was going to be different. Whatever bad habit we wanted to change almost seemed possible with the promise of the new year. 

However, according to my trusty AI Google source, “Most New Year’s resolutions are abandoned by the second Friday in January.” This day is known as “Quitter’s Day.” Wow! After only ten days most of us have had enough. 

If we find the data about our brains to be true, it does makes perfect sense. If our resolution didn’t include pleasure, or resulted in pain or took too much energy then our brain has been fighting against us all along. 

Knowing this actually makes me feel a little better, though. It’s really not all my fault. And perhaps I need to remember the sign I keep on my dresser “Be Kind to Yourself.”

Now of course, this is not an excuse to just give up. Those resolutions were made for a reason, so they probably have some validity. 

What I have learned is that what works for one doesn’t work for another. I know that I am more of an abstainer than a moderator. I don’t do well with limiting myself to a little bit of something I like. If I want to stop eating candy, then I need to stop eating candy. 

Sometimes for me it’s just making it through one day without succumbing to my chocolate fix, and after that it’s really not that hard to say no. But making it through that one day is really a big deal for me. Ten days ago I made it through that one day of no chocolate, and today I don’t seem to be craving sugar. 

Now some people say, “There is no way I could do that!” For them they can control how often and the amount of something they enjoy by having it in moderation. In fact, the famous saying, All things in moderation,” is quite popular. 

But for me moderation is harder. Being an abstainer for me goes hand in hand with being an “all or nothing” kind of person. I’ve convinced myself I have to do it perfectly at the or I’m not going to do it at all.

Sadly, this is extremely unrealistic, and over the last few months I’ve tried a new tactic that seems to be working. The concept of small steps or Kaizen as the Japanese call it, is the idea of continuous improvement. 

In February I began taking a wellness class at my local hospital. We started learned more about the importance of activity in our lives as a way to help prevent chronic disease. 

I knew I needed to walk, but had not walked regularly in almost four years. No longer living in a neighborhood with sidewalks made daily walks a little more challenging.  I didn’t want to risk injury walking on an uneven surface at my new country home. 

I began committing to 15 minute of walking on the three days I watch my youngest grandson. Rather than sitting on the porch while he was riding his bike I began to walk around their circular driveway.

After a couple of weeks I decided to add the two other weekdays into the mix, and walk up and down my long front porch. So now I was up to five days of walking. 

Next, I knew it was time to walk a little longer so I increased my time to 30 minutes. Now to be honest, I was pretty shocked at how out of shape I was. Thirty minutes was actually a little bit of a challenge. My back would hurt, and I’d be dragging by the end. 

However, here it is April, and I am walking five days a week for 30 minutes at a time pretty effortlessly. I’ve also purchased a new Fitbit to keep track of my steps. 

I’m feeling pretty motivated to make this a regular part of my life. When I lived in Frisco, Las Colinas, and Euless I always walked regularly. I remember it was a lot easier to maintain my weight when I included physical activity in my day. 

What I do know is I am not getting any younger, and if I want to have quality of life as I approach a new decade about a year from now, I need to be more intentional about my habits. It can’t just be a resolution that goes to the wayside ten days later. 

I must admit having the support of my wellness group has motivated me to actually do something different. That might also be something to consider when figuring out what works best for you. 

Although, my brain may tell me one thing, I actually have control over what I think and what I choose to do. Learning a little bit more about how you do best can be a start to making some of the changes you have been considering.

Trying to make them all at once can be a little defeating at times, but small changes can add up over time. I used to not truly believe that, but I’m seeing it in action now. 

My next challenge is increasing my water intake. I’ve even purchased a 64 oz container that can be used to track how much water I need to drink. Although, water is my drink of choice it really is difficult for me to drink this much in a day. I’m thinking maybe I could get used to six 8 oz glasses a day,and work up from there. 

Let me know what you think, and what are some things that have worked for you in battling your brain’s natural inclinations. Just remember to be kind to yourself.