Well today is the end of our journey. I hope Beth Kempton’s book, Wabi Sabi, has inspired you to consider adding a little Japanese wisdom to your life.
Kempton concludes her book with the following:
“The greatest teaching for me has been the shift in perspective. Looking at the world through the lens of Wabi Sabi has transformed it into a more beautiful, gentle, and forgiving place full of possibility and delight.”
Always keep in mind that, “You are perfectly imperfect, just as you are.”
Perhaps finding beauty in the ordinary, and in ever day life is the greatest lesson Wabi Sabi teaches us.
If we slow down enough in the busyness of life we can take advantage of these moments. Rather than always chasing the next shiny object, breathe in the beauty that surrounds you.
Create daily and seasonal rituals that ground us in the moment. Be open to the surprises that life can bring. Once our neighbor’s dog delighted us with a visit. She brought along her puppies, and I cannot convey to you the sheer joy of the interaction. It was totally unexpected, but so delightful I will cherish that moment forever.
No don’t think that Wabi Sabi discounts the importance of planning for the future. There is definitely room for both. Make your plans, but be open to veering from them. This was a lesson I learned early in my marriage. I had planned an exact route on a road trip when my husband wanted to take an alternate route through the Smokey Mountain National Forest. Now to be honest I was annoyed at his detour, but it wasn’t long before we came across a scenic viewpoint where a black bear was visible below. Of course, I was delighted, and realized that if I had stuck to the original plan we would have missed it.
On the other hand, it was my careful planning that took us to Monticello, the home of Thomas Jefferson. This ended up being one of our favorite stops along the way to Washington DC.
“The important thing here is not to obsess about perfect planning. You cannot know what is around the corner.”
Kempton reminds us, “A well-lived life is a dance between dreaming and doing.”
Life’s transitions can be difficult at times. Moving from one stage to another presents a set of circumstances we are unfamiliar with, and may add a layer of uninvited stress.
Examples being moving off to college, being newly married, becoming a parent and then an empty nester, and of course retirement.
As I think about it I’ve been faced with all of the above in my own life. I think, for me, perhaps retirement was the biggest challenge. It seemed to take longer to adjust to this new season of my life than any other.
I think giving up my identity of teacher, which I had held for over thirty years, was difficult for me. I learned that no matter what I was doing, though, work either paid or unpaid, still carried value. It’s been fifteen years since I retired, and it has certainly been an adventure as I have taken on many roles along the way.
According to Kempton, “If we are open to the transition, instead of holding on too tight to what has been, we can experience great insight and flow into the next stage, whether or not we feel ready.”
Wabi Sabi keeps us living more mindfully in the present moment , and allows us to navigate the stages of life all the while adding to our arsenal of wisdom. Just remember to be kind to yourself as you move into a new season of life.
Interestingly, reflecting on how long we might live actually has a Wabi Sabi connection. Remember the idea of impermanence and imperfection. Knowing we are not here forever can help us to hone in on what really matters.
In doing so we can prioritize what is actually the most important, and not get caught up in thinking everything is urgent, and needs our full attention. “It can inspire us to make the most of now.”
Our culture seems obsessed with youth. We often look at the aging process with fear and negativity. However, “…everything about Wabi Sabi tells us that it is to be embraced-that we bloom and ripen with time.”
As we age we have the opportunity to deepen our wisdom through our past experiences. This can continue each day of our life as we face new sets of circumstances. There is always something new to learn.
Sadly, we are often blinded to this reality. We waste valuable time clinging to our youth. Many have spent thousands of dollars trying to recapture this fleeting season.
However, Wabi Sabi reminds us that growing old is perfectly natural, and with the right attitude can be enjoyed. Remember we are supposed to grow old.
“Wabi Sabi encourages us to choose the path of serenity and contentment by accepting where we are in the natural cycle of our own life.”
In speaking with a 94 year old woman named, Kanie-San, Kempton asked what lessons could be learned about growing old.
Kanie-san insisted that daily routines were the key. Staying active and honoring the traditions of her culture all contributed to a life well lived. She also followed the custom of hachi-bu- stop eating when you are 80% full.
“We don’t need much to live a good life. When you are grateful for what you do have, and share it with those you love, whatever else you need comes. Don’t waste energy worrying about what you don’t have…pay attention to the good already present in your life,and go your best at whatever you are doing. There is joy in the satisfaction of that.” Kanie-san Age 94
Interestingly, I remember my at the time 96 year old grandmother cautioning me, “To never grow old.” Her independence has been impeded due to her physical limitations.
Perhaps, there is wisdom in both sides of the argument. If longevity is in your genes taking care of your physical health might be something to pay attention to.
Did you know that Japan has the highest life expectancy of any country?
Kempton in her book, Wabi Sabi, reports this to be due to three factors:
A high standard of public health.
A high level of health awareness.
Meaningful and purposeful life activities.
She concludes, “It’s not just about living long. It’s also about living well.”
I can concur with this sentiment. If there is anything I do that might be considered healthy it has more to do with the quality of my life now vs trying to extend my life as long as possible.
If I am able to keep up with my grandsons, live with relatively few aches and pains, and continue to be illness free, then I figure I must be on the right track.
There is a concept in Japan known as ikigai which has to do with waking up each morning with some sort of purpose in your life. I have deemed this season of my retirement as an opportunity to care for my grandsons, and help my daughter where I can.
The three mornings a week that I arise early, and hit the road to my daughter’s house are opportunities for purposeful, meaningful work.
When this season is over I’m sure I will be looking for that next door to open.
Beth Kempton actually loves the word perfect. In fact, she uses it often. However, when she does it’s in regard to a moment. She savors those “perfect” moments in time.
“The tiniest slice of time can hover, shimmering in momentary stillness.”
This reminds me of our hummingbirds- a moment in time, no longer. I eagerly anticipate their return next season, but appreciate more the fleeting of their visits. You must capture the moment to the fullest knowing their presence is impermanent.
It is these moments we must treasure in their simplicity, and guard against not paying enough attention during the moment. If we spend all our time focused on what comes next we truly miss out on the here and now.
It is important to not only open our eyes, but our heart and mind to the beauty that surrounds us. We need to love, “Our perfectly imperfect life.”
