Wabi Sabi- Day 17

 “Hope is not the same as expectations.” Kempton guides us to the understanding that although, you can plan for a specific future, you cannot actually control what the future may bring. 

I remember in my twenties having a very certain plan for my life. As the years went by I seemed to have very little control over the outcome of that plan. I wasted a lot of valuable time not truly living in the present moment waiting for that plan to arrive. 

As often is the case my plan did come to fruition, except it was on God’s timeline and not on my own. Kempton encourages us to, “Release your attachment to the timeline and then come back to being present in your life right now.” 

She offers a challenge to look for the things in your life to be grateful for right now, and to let go of any expectations of the future that might be keeping you stuck in negative thought patterns.  

“Open your mind and heart to whatever might unfold.” By remaining open to the possible we can receive the miracles that are all around us. 

Wabi Sabi- Day 16

 

In her book Wabi Sabi, Beth Kempton tells the story of a  ninety-four year old woman named Mineyo Kanie. 

Kanie shares the secret to a happy life:

“The root of all unhappiness is not being content with what you have and spending too much time looking outside your life instead of spending time inside it.”

I especially rember when I was younger always looking toward some future event or purchase as a route to happiness. As I’ve gotten older there really are very few material pleasures or experiences that I think I must have in order to be content. 

I take comfort in enjoying the simplest of what life has to offer, and find that it brings me both contentment and happiness. 

It’s not perfect, but it is enough. 

Wabi Sabi- Day 15

Beth Kempton reminds us that, “Discomfort is growth.” Unfortunately, it seems that in our modern day culture we are trained to seek comfort. We go out of our way not to be uncomfortable. Think about the opportunities for growth that are missed in doing so. 

Wabi Sabi helps to teach perspective as to what is really important. Should we be spending our valuable time and resources on things that don’t actually nourish us? Or should we be letting go of limiting beliefs, and things that in the long run don’t really matter. 

Are we making mountains out of molehills?

Kempton says, “To be alive is to evolve. “ We need to understand that there are times when we need to surrender to a difficulty knowing that it will not last forever. This does not mean giving up completely.  Rather, it has to do with putting our energies into actions that will move us forward. 

Wallowing in our misfortune can result in just spinning our wheels. Life is hard sometimes, but learn from those hard times, and move forward. 

Wabi Sabi- Day 14

 As much as we strive for perfection, we aren’t actually supposed to be without imperfections. 

“What if we were to agree that our ideal state is actually perfect imperfection…” The Japanese have a practice called kintsugi, where they embellish the cracks found in pottery with gold. The result is an even more beautiful creation. 

Rather than throwing  something away because of its flaws they make it even more valuable. How much time do we waste worrying about an imperfection in our physical appearance? There is nothing wrong with wanting to look your best, but worrying about things you have no real control over is a waste of time. 

Whatever your “natural most authentic state” is how you should approach the world. This version of you allows for your inner beauty to shine. This is the state that you should aspire for. 

Wabi Sabi- Day 13

 Remember we are all works in progress. Instead of wasting energy striving for perfection, take that energy and use it to live fully in the now. 

Kempton states, “Revealing our vulnerabilities opens a window into our hearts where people can see who we really are and they are drawn to connect.”

We all have common experiences that we can share with others. Whether we laugh or cry we realize that we are connected at the human level. Through sharing our struggles we can learn from each other. 

Perhaps this is why social media influencers are so popular today. When we relate to someone else it helps us not feel so isolated or alone. “Of course you feel that way!” becomes a reassuring mantra that we share with others. 

We realize that no one has all the answers, and that we are all imperfect in our own ways. “…the sooner we realize this the sooner we can start honoring ourselves and one another for the imperfect treasures that we are…”

Wabi Sabi- Day 12

 

Have you ever wondered how you might use perfectionism as an excuse not to embrace life. Have you been guilty of making “the perfect the enemy of the good?”

Wabi Sabi uses the lessons of nature to help us better understand imperfection. Kempton reminds us, “If everything is always changing, nothing can ever be absolutely complete.” 

Nothing will ever be perfect because perfection demands completeness. We have a tendency to hang on to our failings, our imperfections, hoping that somehow we can aspire to be more perfect. This state has become our ideal. 

We must let go of this unavailable expectation of perfection. We have to stop looking at perfection and imperfection as opposite sides of a coin. Rather accept the inevitability of our imperfections as, “Imperfection is a snapshot of our journeys of growth and living at a particular moment in time.” 

We need to become comfortable with not knowing all the answers. We have to be okay with  realizing that we can’t be all things to all people. Of course, this doesn’t mean we have no goals or ambitions. It has more to do with gaining clarity about what is really important to us, and choosing to put our efforts into those areas regardless of other’s opinions. 

Wabi Sabi- Day 11

 As Wabi Sabi teaches us about the impermanence of life it also reminds us that suffering is included in these imperfections. This is something we don’t like to hear. As much as we may try to avoid or resist suffering there are times when doing so can actually make things worse. 

“Acceptance is about surrendering to the truth of what is happening and then playing an active role in deciding what happens next.”

Sometimes you have to allow yourself time to rest and recover. When I badly sprained my ankle a few years ago I had to accept the fact that it would take months to fully recover. Initially I gave myself time to stay off my ankle before slowly attempting to walk again. 

I remember pushing the cart at the grocery store recalling how easily it was to walk before my accident. Part of the suffering included the pain associated with the injury, but also the restrictions it imposed on my independence. 

I learned to ask for help when needed, and kept a mindset to continue on a little more each day. It also taught me to appreciate the things we often take for granted knowing how quickly they can change.