Let There Be Light

Let there be light. 

Something interesting happened the other day. I bought Chuck a flashlight for Christmas. Now that in itself is not so remarkable, but the flashlight itself was. 

Whe Chuck switched it on it literally illuminated the entire room, just as if we had flipped the light switch. I was completely amazed. All my life a flashlight basically sent out a beam of light strong enough to get you from one side of a dark room to another. 

It was probably received with great enthusiasm at its conception because it was a better alternative to an oil lamp. At the time it probably was the talk of the town, and it went on for many years doing its job perfectly fine, until a newer even better type of light bulb came along. 

Now with an LED bulb you can literally light up an entire room with a simple flashlight. 

Now this got me to thinking about how many other things in life we continue doing simply because that's all we have known. Why are we quick to criticize someone from a younger generation who has a new, and different idea? Just like that flashlight maybe we need to reconsider how we have traditionally handled some things, and be more open to a different point of view. 

We might actually be amazed at what we see. 

What You Don't Want

What you don't want. 

Sometimes when you are trying to figure out what you want or what the next step should be, asking yourself what you don't want might help you to narrow down your choices. 

When I retired almost ten years ago I had no set plans for the future. In other words I really didn't know what I wanted to do with the next chapter of my life. I remember telling those who asked that I just wanted to remain open to opportunities that might come along the way. 

As it turned out the opportunity to teach part-time for my school district presented itself, and I thoroughly enjoyed getting to spend time with the kids without the full responsibility of the classroom. I still had some teaching left in me that needed to be done. 

A few years later as my father's health declined I had the opportunity to be there to help him maneuver the many challenges that would come along.  By this time I truly was ready to leave the elementary classroom for something different. 

However, once again. I found myself wondering what I wanted to do next?  I seemed to struggle with this, but had no difficulty knowing what I didn't want to do. Although, I had no reservations about generating possible income, I knew I did not want to be on someone else's clock and schedule. 

I also knew that I did not want to do something that did not require creativity. I had started my blog several years after retiring, and was enjoying the opportunity to express myself through writing. 

When I first retired I thought I had to fill up my time with lots of activity and to-do lists. However, I learned that I did not enjoy having such a full schedule. Although, I still enjoyed being part of a group I did better when we met monthly vs weekly. 

Sometimes when we are unsure as to what we want to do, we can use the tool of identifying what we know we don't want to do. In this way we may not fall prey to the concept of drift where we find ourself involved in activities that we really don't enjoy. 

Narrowing down what I don't want has allowed me to open the door to some new possibilities that I had not considered before, and I'm excited to begin pursuing them. 

His Hands and Feet

His hands and feet. 

They say God works in mysterious ways, and I truly believe He does. Most of the time you just need to be paying attention to let His will be done. 

A few days ago I was making my millionth trip to Walmart to get ready for Christmas. I had made a list of the last few items I needed, and when I arrived I reached into my purse to retrieve the list. 

Well in what seems to be a more common occurance these days I had left the list at home. As I began reading myself the riot act, I wracked my brain to recompose the list. It took a few minutes, but luckily there weren't too many items. 

When I got out of the car to make my way into the store I passed by an elderly gentleman looking for his car. I took several more steps when I felt compelled to turn around and check on him. It was apparent that he was unsure where his car was. 

I made my way toward him offering to help, and reassuring him that I had had the same experience before when parking for the first time at a new location. A few seconds later a young man walked up noticing what we were doing. The gentleman told us he drove a white Honda, and while I walked a few aisles over to look for it, the young man tried without luck to locate the car with the man's key fob. 

I then thought maybe he had come in a different entrance so I walked over to the far side of the parking lot to see if his car was there. When I returned I noticed a woman had joined the elderly gentleman, and they seemed to have located their car. 

I then met up with the young man who told me the older gentleman actually 
had a white Ford. Well of course it was, but we were happy that his his wife had been there, and it had all worked out. I confided that my own Dad had passed away almost two years ago, and anytime I see an elderly person needing help my instinct is to do so. He agreed, and confided that he helped take care of his own father. 

It wasn't until I was actually in the store that it hit me that if I had not left my list at home, I would have gotten out of my car much earlier. In doing so I probably would have missed the man altogether. I suddenly realized that God had a different plan that required me to take a few extra minutes to write my forgotten list. 

I'm so glad I heeded the prompting to turn around and check on the elderly man I had just passed. We are all given the opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus if we simply obey when we feel compelled to do so. 

Wishing everyone a wonderful Christmas!

Changing Routines

Changing routines.  

From everything I have read routine is one of those things that can work both for you, and against you. When it comes to creativity, though, breaking free from your routine is generally recommended.

Why is this so hard for me? I seem to crave routine, and actually love when I can create a new routine. Recently I joined my city's recreation center, and began walking each weekday morning on the walking track. I was loving it, and was even using the arm machines. You know you've got to keep up the arm strength when you have grandchildren.

I think more than anything I was just enjoying starting my morning with a routine that was both productive and predictive, until they decided to floor the gymnasium, and close the walking track for a week. 

Not wanting to break my good habit I made the decision to walk on the treadmill in the fitness center. Now I've never liked treadmills because I find them tedious. Even while listening to a podcast or watching tv I can't wait for my workout to be over. All week I've been reminding myself that this change of routine is just temporary, but I've found myself less than enthusiastic to work out. 

Now I know that shaking things up is supposed to be good for me, because I know the brain also craves novelty. Sticking with the same routine rarely challenges you to learn anything new, and often times the best ideas come from looking at something in a new way. 

My true struggle, though, is how content I am to shop on Monday, do laundry on Tuesday...you get the idea. This routine changing is definitely something I have to force myself to do- kind of like eating vegetables when I was a child. What about you? How do you react to routine?

Another Look at Limiting Beliefs

Another look at limiting beliefs. 

A limiting belief, according to Gretchen Rubin, is a belief that holds you back or limits your ability to live your most authentic life. 

One of my most crippling limiting beliefs is the belief that everyone should like me. As a child I don't remember it being so important, but by my teenage years it had become all consuming. Unfortunately, unlike the acne I left behind in my adolescence, this belief is one I've carried throughout my life. 

Each time it comes into question that someone might not particularly like me, or approve of my actions, it brings me great concern and anxiety. I begin to question all that I have done assuming I've done something wrong. What could I have done differently that would be more suited to their expectations? 

By clinging so tightly to this belief I have questioned myself, limited myself, and have not really been my true self. I have become what is called a "social chameleon," always shifting myself in order to gain approval. Never quite sure exactly what I like or want, and always gaging it against what I think others deem best. 

Each time I come across a situation where I sense that someone is not happy with me I find it difficult to shake off that uneasy feeling. I find the script in my head spinning in a panic trying to figure out what I could have done differently. 

I had never thought of my approval seeking as a limiting belief, but it is. Seeking the approval of others should not be the driving force in my life. I'm now left wondering what would be the consequences of choosing to abandon this limiting belief? 

Gather

Gather. 

I'm reading an intriguing little book (my favorite kind) about creativity entitled, Your Idea Starts Here, by Carolyn Eckert. As you probably know I'm pretty much obsessed with creativity. I've written about it often, and am always on the look out for inspiration.

She begins her book writing about how to generate ideas. Her first step is to "Gather- Accumulate things you like that might or might not work...don't think, just collect. You're gathering inspiration."

As I thought about this I realized that my conscious effort to bring fewer actual things into my home, might be curtailing my creativity. I often find myself collecting ideas, but I'm not always good about recording them. 

Elizabeth Gilbert in her book, Big Magic, writes about how ideas are sent our way, and if ignored are sent packing to someone else who's more willing to pay attention. By honoring these ideas there is a greater chance of them coming to fruition.

Creativity flourishes when you observe your surroundings. I'm going to be more aware of anything that catches my eye. At the time I may not know exactly why, but I want to trust my inner leanings as to why I find it interesting. 

If I still want to live a less cluttered life I can always snap a picture of it, and collect these objects using a collage format on my phone. I like the idea, "don't think, just collect." Who knows where this might take you?

Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs. 

Author Gretchen Rubin defines a limiting belief as a belief that holds you back or limits you in any way. This may be a belief about yourself personally or one you hold about the world. It may even be something that you are totally unaware of as getting in the way of something you might want to accomplish. 

I think a limiting belief that I hold is that the familiar is better than the unknown. If I've done something the same way over the years I just assume that because it worked in the past it must be be the best way to do something. 

Holding on to this limiting belief allows me to feel comfortable and in control of possible outcome. I hate that feeling of not knowing how to do something. 

The other day I had stopped by the post office to mail a small package. When I arrived there was a predictably long line of others wanting to do the same thing. I dutifully took my place at the end of the line when I remembered that the self-serve kiosk out in the lobby could be used to mail packages. 

I quickly turned around and made my way there where I found no line. Now I can read, and basically that is all that is required as you work your way through the clearly marked steps. Within a matter of minutes my package was mailed, and I think the line inside had not moved an inch. 

I was on my way to my next errand without the frustration of a long line, and only one postal clerk on duty. 

What limiting beliefs are holding you back? Take a minute to reflect on something you have wanted you do, but have allowed a misguided belief to get in the way. 

Caught, Not Taught

Caught not taught. 

I had the pleasure of eating dinner this week with my daughter's family. I had made a mid-week trip down to visit, and help out where I could. 

As we were eating dinner Brittany told me that Casen had told her the other day that he was putting his napkin in his lap just like Mimi. She asked me if I had made a point to remind him to do that. I said I had not, and his comment just reinforced how our children and grandchildren are always watching us. 

My oldest grandson is particularly observant of adults as he tries to figure things out. I was tickled that he had picked up one of my good habits on his own simply by watching me. 

As a grandparent of two grandsons I want to remember that my actions will always be under the scrutiny of two little ones who are learning to maneuver their world. I hope I can be a good example for them. 

Bah Humbug!

Bah Humbug!

Well apparently Ebenezer Scrooge still lives, and was accompanied by the Grinch and his straggly little dog to ruin Christmas for some children attending Breakfast with Santa in Cleburne this year. 

Now I wish I could give you some insight into the whole Breakfast with Santa thing, but unfortunately I never had an opportunity to attend. Not that I didn't want to, it was just that Brittany was terrified of Santa, and it seemed heartless to force her to endure pancakes with the bearded one. 

I digress, so back to the story. Apparently three men were protesting outside of a local church in Cleburne that was hosting a Breakfast with Santa. Now I'm not sure if these men never received a Radio Flyer Wagon as a child and are still hold a grudge against the jolly old elf, or if they have a problem with bacon, eggs and pancakes being served in a church? You know the whole separation of church and steak thing. 

Now the really sad part of the story was that they were actually yelling at the children that Santa was not real. Who in their right mind would do such a thing? Let's just suck all the joy out of the season on the backs of children hoping to get a glimpse of the big guy, and leave with a sticky, syrup high. 

When I hear stories like these, heck who am I kidding I've never heard such a tale, it makes me sad. I don't expect everyone to celebrate Christmas, and that is certainly their prerogative, but don't spoil it for the rest of us. 

The Perfect Planner

The perfect planner. 

I've been on the hunt for the perfect planner. Of course, I have to keep reminding myself to not let the "perfect be the enemy of the good." So I guess I should be saying I'm on the hunt for a good enough planner. 

In the past I've had some pretty sophisticated planners that looked really awesome, but I found myself actually avoiding them because the expectations were too high. Between stickers, lists, and the time involved to fill them out, I found that a simple month at a glance calendar written in easily erased pencil seemed to suit my needs better. 

However, for some reason this year I finding myself wanting something a little more elaborate. I've looked at a few that start with the month at a glance, but then actually have a space for each day of the week. I've noticed that some are lined, and some are just blank spaces. My preference would be lined to help keep my handwriting straight. 

I've seen some that include a space for goals, and I'm thinking something like that might keep me more on track. That way I could record the days I walk, and things like my weekly weigh-in. I'd also like to use it for meal planning so I don't have to reinvent the wheel each month. 

And one last thing-I really don't want to spend a small fortune on one so as not to waste my money if I abandon ship. How about you, have you discovered the "perfect planner?"

FabEuless

FabEuless.

It's been almost nine months since Chuck and I moved to Euless, and to be honest, if you had told me several years ago that we would live here I wouldn't have believed you.  Kind of like if you had told me that I would be the proud owner of a Bassett Hound I probably would have just laughed. Neither were on my radar, but life has a way of surprising you when you least expect it. 

Our primary reason for moving here was to be closer to Chuck's work. They had moved to Las Colinas a little over a year ago, and he was not looking forward to having to commute by car. Since 1993 he had been driving to Downtown Dallas on the Dart bus, and although it was a long commute he wasn't having to do the driving. 

Now that we've lived here for a while I can honestly say I'm glad we made the move. Although, Euless itself is a community of a little over fifty thousand, it literally is in the center of the metroplex. So anything I need is usually just a few minutes away in a surrounding town, if Euless doesn't have it. Of course, I've found that the shopping center on Glade and 121 pretty much has everything, and is only ten minutes away. 

I think the thing I love most about living here, though, is the lack of traffic. Of course, rush hour is typically crowded on the surrounding highways, but when I'm running my errands during the day I'm not having to take my life into my own hands making my way through traffic, unlike Frisco. 

The pace is much more relaxed, and I am really enjoying being a part of it. Recently, I joined our local Family Life Center which includes a Fitness Center. Taking advantage of the senior rate I was able to join for a whopping $7.00 for the year. Now each morning I'm up early walking on the indoor walking track. Best of all it's literally less than five minutes from the house. 

We are taking advantage of being equidistant to both Dallas and Ft. Worth at around twenty-five minutes to each. We are traveling the short distance to places like Grapevine, Colleyville, South Lake and Las Colinas for shopping and eating out. 

Even Frisco is only a thirty minute drive so returning for monthly retired teacher meetings is not even out of the way. Best of all we are about twenty minutes closer to Brittany and Will and the boys at just a little over two hours. 

We are loving our new home, and are beginning to meet some new neighbors, as our neighborhood has been under construction since we moved in. I'm happy to say that we think our new community is just FabEuless!

Gator

Gator. 

No, I'm not talking about the reptile, but rather a brand new, shiny John Deere Gator. This weekend my just turned three year old grandson received the gift of his dreams. Both sets of grandparents, and his parents splurged on an electric child-size Gator with room for his brother. 

It probably took less than a minute for him to figure out the basics of forward and reverse, and he'd mastered the steering wheel almost immediately. It didn't take him long to load up the bed with a cedar stake, and carry it over to a pile of wood. 

Play is a whole lot more fun for him when you are really working. As he made his way around the pasture his mother picked up the family dog, Ellie, and placed her in the bed. Like a true country dog Ellie remained in place as my grandson drove her a few turns around the yard. 

A few minutes later his dad showed him that the Gator actually had a slow and fast gear. Our grandson could be heard saying, "I'll go fast!" as he sped off. It quickly became evident that hours of fun were going to be had with this vehicle, and that it was just going to be a matter of time before little brother would be riding shotgun. 

So glad Chuck and I had an opportunity to share in on the fun!

1,000 Posts

1,000 posts. 

Wow! Today marks my 1,000 post. How is that even possible?

I remember that first post almost four years ago. I really had no idea what direction the blog would go, and certainly couldn't imagine 999 posts later. 

I've thoroughly enjoyed writing this blog, and have enjoyed connecting with my readers. Early on I made the decision to post Monday through Friday. I liked being held accountable to posting, however, as you can image coming up with five ideas a week to write about is becoming harder and harder. 

I don't want to give up the blog completely, but I think I will be backing off a little on content. Depending on what is going on will probably determine how often I will be posting. 

I appreciate each and everyone of you who have shared your kinds words about Grace Found Daily, and I look forward to the Christmas season, and the coming new year. 

Writing Group

Writing group. 

Well, I've joined a writing group. I had considered it several times before, but always found a way to convince myself not to attend. There was a group that met monthly at the Euless Library, but I felt uncomfortable just showing up. 

Ironically, after meeting our new younger neighbors I learned that one of them was a published author, and that she was hosting the writers' group at her home until the library was through with renovations. 

So now what excuse did I have not to go?  Earlier this month I made my way over to her home, and was introduced to a group of three other writers. I sat there as they critiqued each other's work, and realized how little I actually knew about writing.

As a history minor in college, and not an English minor I was surprised at how little of the vocabulary I even understood. As a primary grade teacher I never really had to learn more than the simple basics of literary elements. 

When I left I knew I had a whole lot to learn. I began first with a simple brushing up on terms. As a reading teacher I knew how important vocabulary and background knowledge were to true understanding. If I was going to speak intelligently at the next meeting I was surely going to have to step up my game. 

Before I left I did share with them an idea I had for a story. They were receptive to the premise which was encouraging, but since then I've realized how much learning I need to do to even consider developing the idea into a possible novel. 

Luckily, between the Internet and the library I've begun the process. I've started a little writing notebook to keep up with all the information and notes that I am taking. To be honest, I feel way over my head, but already my story has improved since I first shared it. 

Now I've got a LONG way to go, and who knows if this particular idea will pan out completely? What I do know is that I'm a beginner in this process, and that's okay. It's exciting to learn new information, and once again to push myself out of my comfort zone. 

Chipped Plate

Chipped plate. 

We purchased a new set of plates this weekend to replace the old set. We had used them for almost nine years, and they were starting to show their age. Each time I tried to microwave anything in the chipped ones I was taking my life into my own hands. 

I remember purchasing them at Dillard's at their New Years' Sale. Brittany had just graduated from college , and was working there as an assistant manager. She had alerted me to the sale, and I got a great deal. 

A day or two later she was fixing herself lunch when she chipped one of my brand new plates. She felt bad, of course, but just like spilled milk what could we do about it after the fact? The plate pretty much sat at the bottom of the stack all these years, until being replaced by a new set. 

Yesterday Chuck and I tried out our new dishes for the first time. When it came time to rinse them off I went to stack my plate under Chuck's bowl. Wouldn't you know it somehow the plate hit the bowl resulting in a chip. 

I felt pretty bad because after all they were brand new. Now I know exactly how Brittany must have felt all those years ago. I guess the lesson learned is to be extra careful next time I'm rinsing them off. But what are the chances?

Black Friday

Black Friday. 

Well I think Black Friday as I've know it is over. Maybe that has something to do with it's really more like Dark Grey Thursday now. 

I'm actually not really complaining, because Brittany and I hit the stores close to 8:00 am after a chickin mini breakfast from Chick-fil-a, and it really felt like another typical shopping day. 

We did our shopping at Glade Parks off of Hwy 121, and although it wasn't a record haul I did get a good start to my Christmas shopping, and some good deals. I'm still one who generally prefers the real deal to on-line shopping. Old habits die hard. 

The traffic was light, and the crowds non-existent at that time, and it wasn't unpleasant at all. 

The best part of the morning, though, was getting to spend time with my sweet, beautiful daughter. Now that part hasn't changed!

Blessings

Blessings. 

The pumpkin pie is made, and the turkey is in the oven. I'll be cooking most of the morning as I await my daughter, son-in-law, and two grandsons to arrive. These two grandsons sure bring a lot of joy to my life, and I try to see them as often as I can. 

Later in the day Chuck's aunt, uncle and cousin will be here to share our Thanksgiving feast. I'm excited for our family to be together again. 

Over the years our customs have changed due to changing circumstances, but Thanksgiving will always hold a special place in my heart. 

Wishing you and your family a Happy Thanksgiving. 

Chili Cookoff

Chili Cookoff.

When it comes to competitions Chuck is in, and I am out. This year, per usual, his work was sponsoring a chili cookoff to raise money for The United Way. 

A few months ago I had tried a new vegetarian chili recipe made with bulgar. It was actually quite tasty, and the bulgar helped to bump up the texture of the chili. Chuck decided that night that he would enter the chili in the competition.

He spent a whole day promoting the chili before the actual competition, by handing out the recipe to all he came across. Several of his co-workers do not eat meat so he figured our chili had a fighting chance to place. 

We spend the night before whipping up two batches. Chuck was quite impressed with my organizational skills as I had prechopped and measured all the ingredients for both batches. After sautéing the onions and peppers, we primarily just had to dump the other ingredients into the pot to simmer. 

Now I wish I could say that we walked away from the competition in first place or even second or third. Technically, we didn't place, but Chuck said the chili was well received by all who tried it, and there was none left in the end. Heck, Chuck didn't even get to try any. 

He was a little bummed when he got home for losing, but I told him it's hard to compete with traditional chili. People carry a bias, and pretty much have there minds made up ahead of time. I guess part of the reason I'm not competitive with anyone else but myself, is I can't stand the feeling of losing. 

Overall, though, Chuck and I enjoyed getting to work together to pull off the "Vulcan Vegetable Chili," and that was a winner in my book. 

I'm including the recipe below, but I did leave out the cinnamon and the cayenne.

http://turniptheoven.com/vegetarian-bulgur-chili/

Elderberry

Elderberry.

I whipped up a batch of Elderberry Syrup the other day, and it really wasn't too complicated. Last year I had read about the benefits of taking Elderberry to help strengthen your immune system. 

Now I know this could possibly just be an old wives' tale, but somehow Chuck and I both managed to not get the flu last year. It was particularly bad that year, and the flu shot was pretty much worthless when it came to prevention. 

Along with hand washing, vitamin C, diffusing essential oils, a healthy diet, and daily activity I think our immune systems held the line, and kept us healthy. This year I've already had about a week long bout with a cold and cough, so I figured I needed to get my arsenal back in gear. 

As a honey Ambassador for Nature Nate's I used their raw and unfiltered honey to add to the mix. Brittany had ordered dried elderberries off of Amazon, and I boiled them in water along with some ginger, cinnamon and cloves. I'll include the recipe from the Wellness Mama below. 

Wishing everyone the best of health this winter. 

https://wellnessmama.com/1888/elderberry-syrup/

Jackpot!

Jackpot!

As you know the thing I miss most about living at the apartments is my beloved Lake Carolyn.   Not being able to step out my door with Cooper, and enjoy a beautiful day outdoors walking along the lake has left me a little melancholy. 

I've returned several times since then to walk, but between the distance and the cooler, rainy weather it really hasn't been practical. As a result my daily walking is pretty much nonexistent.

Last week I made a trip to the Barnes and Noble in Southlake Town Square, and came across a lovely walking path that encircles a pond with two fountains. The weather wasn't really conducive to walking that day, but I knew I would return. 

I did that last Friday, and enjoyed three trips around the pond. Now it obviously isn't as long as my old walk, but it can be walked several times to make up the distance. The sound of the fountain, and watching the ducks paddling along did wonders for my spirits. 

My mood is definitely elevated when I spend time in nature. I'm hoping we have a few more sunny days before we enter into winter, but even so I think I may just bundle up. The drive is just an easy fifteen minutes from the house, and I always get the option to hang out at Barnes and Noble. Sounds like a win-win to me!

I still think I'll return to my old stomping grounds every now and then, but it felt good to have another option close by. 

Thanksgiving Menu

Thanksgiving menu. 

I'm hosting Thanksgiving again this year, and am looking forward to trying out my new dining room table. We will utilize the pew bench in the entryway for the additional seating at the table. 

Since we have a smaller group this year I plan on using my china which rarely gets used. Of course my grandson will find his feast on a little plastic cafeteria-style tray so as not to worry. 

I went grocery shopping yesterday and picked up the majority of the food I will be preparing. I always buy a Butterball turkey as I think it is the most delicious. I'll be cooking it in a roasting bag which is basically fool proof. 

I'll also be responsible for mashed potatoes, cornbread dressing, and a raw Brussels sprouts salad with cranberries, pears, pecans and Gorgonzola cheese. I've made it before, and it's quite yummy. 

I'm trying a new way to make macaroni and cheese in a crockpot. I've considered two different recipes, and bought the ingredients for both. I'm also planning on making Chuck a homemade pumpkin pie as it is his favorite, and I don't usually make it any other time of the year. 

Chuck's aunt is bringing her award winning sweet potato casserole, and a dessert of her choosing. Knowing her as I do, I wouldn't be surprised if it had some chocolate in it. Chuck's cousin will bring deviled eggs, and I'll have a veggie tray available for premeal snacking. 

Finish that all with rolls, cranberry sauce, and some gravy and I think we will be good to go. I'm looking forward to spending time with my loved ones, and entertaining in my new home. Happy Thanksgiving!

The Library

The Library. 

I had the opportunity yesterday to attend another author talk at the North Richland Hill's Library. My neighbor and fellow bibliophile joined me for a fascinating account of the famous Los Angeles Library Fire of 1986. 

Susan Orlean, the author of The Library began her talk with memories of her own love affair with the library from her childhood. Her mother was key in this lifelong habit of books, libraries and writing. 

I couldn't help but remember fondly my own introduction to the library by my father. I was probably around eight years old when we began visiting the library on a regular basis. Every time I have ever moved as an adult, one of the first things I do is visit my local library to get my library card. 

To this day libraries are still one of my favorite places. As Orlean recounted the tragic day that the LA library burned, one of the guests in the audience shared that she had actually lived there at the time, and was one of the volunteers who helped to pack the surviving books. Due to the possibility of mold, the books were actually kept in freezers throughout the city for six years before they could be restored. 

The Library doesn't just tell the story of the fire, but also traces the history of the LA library and the many colorful librarians who worked to increase readership, and make the library the hub of the city. This is an interesting read if you are a book lover like myself. 

The Unaccomplished

The unaccomplished. 

I was minding my own business the other morning fixing coffee and steel-cut oats for breakfast when I was distracted by a headline that came across my Echo Show featuring the all knowing Alexa. 

Apparently there is a teen who can solve a Rubik's Cube using his feet. It was at that moment that I pretty much gave up all hope that I would accomplish anything really impressive in my life. Heck, who could top that Rubik's Cube "feet", get it I really meant feat, but couldn't resist. 

Of course this eating worms in the garden sentiment actually started last week at Barnes and Noble. I made the mistake of picking up the latest People magazine which featured an article about Chip and Joanna. Notice I didn't even have to use their last name, kind of like Oprah or Beyoncé.

Along with Joanna gleefully pushing out her fifth child at forty, yes she actually enjoys labor, they are now getting ready to add another arrow to their quiver with a new television network. Yes, you heard that right, network, not tv show. 

Now I know my attitude stinks because I actually love Chip and Jo, and their sweet family, and their last show, and the Silos, and the bakery, and her magazine, and their line at Target, and their new restaurant. It's just that I stepped away feeling really depressed at my lack of accomplishments. 

Of course, I felt bad for feeling bad. Instead of being inspired I felt like a loser. I can't even say I felt envious. That emotion I'm saving for this Rubik's Cube teen who is on his road to fame. I'd like to say I've gleaned some ounce of wisdom from this whole experience, but unfortunately I'm still in the process of trying to figure it out. 

Maybe I'll just go grab Joanna's cookbook and make a batch of her amazing biscuits that she perfected over a course of nine months of weekend breakfasts, and drown my sorrows in butter. 

Chrisgiving

Chrisgiving.

I've noticed a phenomenon that's beginning to take hold in our culture; the melding of Thanksgiving and Christmas. 

Now perhaps this has to do with Christmas decorations being displayed as early as August. The self-control required to wait until after Thanksgiving is just too much. As soon as that last trick or treater is out the door a mad dash to the attic begins where Rubbermaid tubs of Christmas finery are drug out. 

I've never actually eaten a Thanksgiving meal by the twinkle of the Christmas lights eyeing the presents, but I'm thinking the next generation will. Is this really a bad thing?

To be honest I have no idea, but I'm still holding out to the day after Thanksgiving to start my Christmas decorating. Just call me a stick in the mud. That is if I'm not too exhausted from all my Black Friday shopping, so it actually might be the day after the day after Thanksgiving. 

Either way I'm looking forward to "the most wonderful time of the year!"

Permission

Permission. 

Which is easier for you; to ask permission or to beg forgiveness?

I lean more toward asking permission, but even that is sometimes hard for me. The whole begging for forgiveness leaves me feeling uncomfortable because it signifies that I probably did something wrong. 

The one time, though, that I did risk begging forgiveness was the day I was hired by Frisco ISD. It was late July, and I had just been hired to replace a teacher who was not returning. When I arrived to my classroom I was greeted by an over abundance of stuff, most of it broken and missing pieces. 

I knew there was no way I would be able to function in so much clutter and chaos. We were between principals at the time so I made the executive decision to throw much of it away. I filled large, black trashbags full of what was no longer salvagable, and then began scraping several years worth of dried glitter off of the window ledge. It wasn't a coincidence that I pretty much avoided glitter after that when it came to Christmas projects in my classroom. 

I had convinced myself that I would have to claim ignorance, and beg for forgiveness if it came down to it. Luckily, no one said a word, and my classroom was neat, and orderly for the first day of school.

Recently, I've been reading a fun little book entitled, How To Be Interesting, by Jessica Hagy. One of her many suggestions is to "Give Yourself Permission." She states, "Give it to yourself, because most of the time, nobody else will."

 Give yourself permission to be unique, different and yourself. Author Gretchen Rubin unapologetically reminds herself to "Be Gretchen."  By giving yourself permission you don't have to worry about begging for forgiveness from someone else. 

Self-Censorship

Self-Censorship. 

To censor means to suppress things that are found to be unacceptable. It seems that there is a big collective censor we call society who deems what is right and what is wrong. 

I'm not so much talking about moral issues as much as I'm talking about norms like fashion, and roles, and expectations. 

I remember in my forties thinking that when I turned fifty I would cut my hair short, as it seemed most women of this age seemed to do so. Ironically, I'm a couple years into my sixties, and my hair is longer than it was then. 

Who was it that decided long hair was not appropriate at a certain age? I think sometimes it's easy to want to censor ourselves when it comes to what we think we are supposed to do. We may really want to do something unconventional, but we hold ourselves back in an effort not to be embarrassed. 

The uncomfortableness of embarrassment helps keep us in check. I remember once asking an embarrassing question in eighth grade at Sunday School when it came to a certain procedure performed on Jewish baby boys. I'm not really sure who was more embarrassed, me or my teacher. 

After moments like this your self-censoring kicks in to make sure you don't suffer any unnecessary humiliation. Although, self-preservation should be high on the list, when it begins to change and shape you into someone you are not, it has gone too far. 

How many times have you heard someone say in a self-deprecating manner, "I could never do that?" How many times have you sat back tapping your toes when you really wished you were up on the dance floor?

Self-censoring can become a habit that in the long run doesn't allow you to grow as a person. Having to stop and determine if you fit in, or are doing things in an acceptable fashion really isn't the best use of your time. A good dose of common sense can come in handy when contemplating streaking across the fifty yard line, but beyond that most things aren't that critical to stop you from being your true self.