Journey

Journey. 

Adventurer Jeff Johnson attests, "The best journeys answer questions that in the beginning you didn't even think to ask." I love the idea of finding answers to questions you hadn't even thought of yet. 

Perhaps for me, one of the most influential journeys in my life was the year I turned twenty. We celebrated my birthday in New England during a bicentennial vacation with my family, taking in all the historical sights there were to see.  The impact of that vacation basically changed the trajectory of my future. 

Interestingly enough though, I had no idea when I left for those  two weeks the adventures that lay ahead. I didn't even consider for one moment the questions that soon would be answered. My love of history confirmed that it would be my minor in college, and the direction I was headed went a completely different way. 

If I had not embarked on that journey, my life would have continued down a very predictable path. I have also found that life is enriched in one way or another when I seek out new journeys, whether they be a vacation or just a new experience. 

Don't fall victim to thinking you have all the answers when you may have never even considered the question. 

Ideas

Ideas. 

I absolutely love ideas. I especially love it when an idea grows wings and takes flight. Oliver Wendell Holmes remarked, "Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions."

I think sometimes we have a tendency to limit our ideas. Or if an idea does present itself we might not be paying close enough attention. Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Big Magic, believes that if not embraced by its original owner an idea will move onto a more willing participant. 

I've learned to be more open to ideas. I am more observant of what I see, hear and read. If an idea comes to mind, I am quick to jot it down, so it can be revisited at a later date. I find that ideas are what sparks creativity. 

There is a journalistic term called "saving string."  It refers to saving all those bits and pieces that come along the way that can be used for that next great story. One of my favorite movies from the 80's was Working Girl starring Melanie Griffith. Her character would do just that. Always on the lookout for interesting ideas, she combined them to change the tragectory of her life. 

Ideas come from many places. Be on the look out and see what develops.

Habits

Habits. 

"Powerful indeed is the empire of habit." These are the words of Publilius Syrus, a man born in 85 BC. Apparently the pull of the habit has been around for a long time. 

In her book, Small Move, Big Change, author Caroline L. Arnold writes about the auto-pilot 
component of habit. She stresses how most of our habits have followed us from childhood. 
Habits can either be good or bad, and we spend most of our life either trying to eliminate bad habits, or embracing good ones. However, we often find ourselves falling short on both sides. 

She proposes something she calls a microresolution as a way of changing behavior. By beginning with small manageable changes we can begin to work toward the auto-pilot component of habit formation. Rather than changing everything at once when attempting to lose weight, start with a microresolution like making sure to eat breakfast in the morning. Look for changes that  you can reasonably achieve without Herculean effort. 

When we are constantly weighing our options and making choices, our resolve can quickly be worn down. While on the other hand, we have a much better chance at success when habits prevent us from constant decision making.  Obviously habits can be powerful in both negative and positive ways, but don't allow the negative ones to reign supreme. 

Grit

Grit. 

"Your dreams are on the other side of your grit,"is a popular saying found on the Internet. But what exactly does grit mean? Its definition is, "courage and resolve; strength of character." How does grit play a role in success?

Researcher, Angela Duckworth, author of Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, has studied this quality that allows someone not to give up when they have experienced failure. She writes, "Grit is sticking with your future." It is looking at each failure along the way as another step closer to accomplishing your goals. 

Learning to persevere is a life skill that will be called upon time and time again. When I think of grit, I can't help but be reminded of a childhood favorite movie, True Grit. Who couldn't help but root for the heroes as we see them persevere to the end? We've all felt like giving up at times, but the "strength of character" that grit produces is well worth the effort. 

Make it your practice to finish what you start. See your task to completion, and pick yourself up if needed and try again. Allow grit to define you. 

Failure Celebration

Failure celebration. 

Isn't that an oxymoron? Not so for founder and CEO of Spanks, Sara Blakely. Celebrating failure is a common occurrence as she has reframed the way she looks at failure. 

Growing up her father would ask at the dinner table what her failures had been that day? He would then celebrate with a high five, and be disappointed if there was nothing to report. 

Sara says, "Failure for me became not trying versus the outcome." When she did something that maybe ended in embarrassment he would encourage her to write down the "hidden gifts" that resulted from the failure. There was always a lesson to be learned, and to be used the next time.  What a gift given to her by a loving father who allowed and encouraged effort which might result in failure. 

Once again this idea of growth mindset, taught by Carol Dweck, is reinforced in teaching our children not to avoid failure at all costs, but rather to look for the fun in learning something new. 

Sara's father was teaching her the best lesson of all; our worth does not come from our wins, but from our efforts. Look toward any person of success and you will find that they have experienced failure. If your failures are few then you probably have not tried often enough. Don't waste those opportunities for failure. And then celebrate!

Eccentric

Eccentric. 

An eccentric person according to definition is one of unconventional and slightly strange views or behaviors. When I think of eccentric, the crazy cat lady comes to mind. Of course, at this moment I have a dog on one shoulder and a cat on my arm as I attempt to type. So maybe who's crazy now?

Philosopher Bertrand Russell in his autobiography writes, "Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric."

In yesterday's post I discussed how embarrassment can hold us back from attempting something new. However, in adopting a more eccentric lifestyle embarrassment might become a thing of the past. 

I will admit that I am sometimes quick to judge a person primarily on their looks. I  find myself immediately jumping to the conclusion of strange or weird. I wonder why they seem comfortable in being so unconventional?  But if truth be known I find myself somewhat envious that they have the courage to do so. 

Marching to the beat of your own drummer seems to become easier as you age. You begin to worry less about what others think, and start embracing the things that truly reflect your own likes and dislikes. Does this always mean you've crossed over into the realm of eccentric? Possibly not, but then again, why not? 

Doubt

Doubt. 

"Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will," are the words of author Suzy Kassem. When I think of doubt it reminds me of the children I taught in elementary school. Doubt is not a quality often possessed by young children, but it does begin to rear its ugly head sometime in the mid-elementary years. Second graders rarely doubt their ability to do anything if it is presented with enough enthusiasm. Meanwhile, convincing a group of fifth graders that they are capable might be a losing battle. 

A young child never limits their aspirations in adulthood to only one thing. In fact, they confidently embrace multiple, and very different future occupations. Being a ballerina and a doctor is a no-brainier when you are seven. 

Now obviously, as we mature we gain a more realistic view of our strengths and weaknesses, but what saddens me is that our doubts limit our possibilities. We rarely give ourselves the opportunity to fail before we let our doubt insist that something is impossible. 

We worry too much about how we might appear to the world. Embarrassment and foolishness become our biggest enemies. Why is it that theses two words are nowhere on the radar of a child? In fact, most everything they do is embarrassing and foolish, and yet we as adults find it endearing. 

So what do you do with doubt? You know that it exists, but denial comes easily. Perhaps you would do better to just accept it. By not denying its presence you don't allow it to determine your future. Start by pushing past your doubt a little at a time. Look it squarely in the eye and let it know that you will determine your future. 

Change

Change. 

How are you with change? The one thing you can be certain about is that change will happen. Just when you think something is going perfectly it will change. Your favorite restaurant will close, they'll discontinue that shade of lipstick that you've worn for years, and over time your thighs will no longer be recognizable. 

However, when it comes to change I am a paradox. I hate change and I love change. I cling to the things I like, and I'm bored by the same old same old. What I do know for sure is that I usually don't like change just for the sake of change. 

But, I have found over the years that shaking things up every now and then really does make life more interesting. Don't stick with something just because you've always done it that way. Be willing to try a different brand or style, especially as you move into a new decade. Recently, I got a new purse that was completely different from any I had owned before. I absolutely love it. So the lesson learned is that even though change can be hard, it's not always a bad thing. 

Books

Books. 

Thomas Jefferson and I share the same sentiment when it comes to books, "I cannot live without books."

I don't remember growing up with an over abundance of books or a bedtime ritual of stories read nightly. In fact the first books I really remember were given to me on my sixth birthday. It was the early 1960's, and Dr. Seuss was all the rage. The Cat in the Hat and One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish became my two new favorites. 

The first book that I couldn't put down was The Hundred Dresses. I remember walking home from school with my nose in that book not being able to get to the next page fast enough.  Kinda of like a long-ago Pokemon Go experience minus the cell phone. 

During my childhood and teen years the library was always my favorite place. I aspired to be  Nancy Drew, learned about Betsy Ross, discovered The Knights of the Round Table, and even  attempted a chemistry experiment or two using a Dixie cup and spices. I kept hoping I would invent the next great thing. 

As a teacher my love of books was kept alive, and by the time I retired I had too many books to count. Today my collection is dispersed over several bookcases in different rooms of my home. Between dollar books on a clearance rack to gift cards from Barnes and Noble I find myself adding to my collection. Although, I may never completely finish reading them all, I do find enjoyment in collecting them. It looks like my grandson might have inherited my love of books, and I look forward to spending time reading to him. 

Audacity

Audacity. 

Audacity actually has two very different definitions. The first being the willingness to take bold risks. The second, on the other hand has to do with rude or disrespectful behavior. The difference in these two meanings interested me. One being something to aspire to, and the other something to ask forgiveness for. 

Charles Duhigg in his book, The Power of Habit uses the more positive definition when he writes, "Setting audacious goals disrupts complacency and promotes new ways of thinking." 

In life it is often easier to set a goal that appears to have a chance of succeeding. I have pretty much patterned my life toward this type of goal. Graduating from college required effort on my part, but many had graduated before me, and I felt confident I had the ability to do so. Even my field of study was not particularly challenging, and that was probably why it was chosen. 

Something to consider about an audacious goal is that it might require some discomfort along the way toward its accomplishment. Anytime we move beyond our comfort zone we are stretching ourselves and experiencing growth. Moving beyond complacency helps us to view the world through new eyes. Asking ourselves, "Why not?" may lead us to coming up with novel ideas that may not have been considered before. 

Now I do believe there is a difference between a bold risk and a foolish one. Being bold means showing a sense of confidence and couragousness, and not doing something that lacks good judgement. As it happens an idea might come to mind and be quickly tucked away out of fear, and then forgotten. The next time you are at this crossroads you might consider giving audacity a try. 

Tragedy

Tragedy. 

With the shooting in Dallas last week our community is numb over the senseless death of five of Dallas' finest. Our hearts are broken as we watch the memorial services, and learn more about the officers and their families. 

Yesterday, terrorism hit even closer. After the shock of the attack in Nice, I learned that a 
former co-worker's husband and only child, her son, were killed in the attack. She and her 
family, including her two step-children and sister were vacationing in France and were celebrating Bastille Day.

I can't even fathom for one second what she must be going through right now. What I do know, though, is that terrorism has hit too close to home when a teacher you once taught with is making arrangements for the funeral of her husband and child. 

I don't know what the answers are, but I can no longer take comfort in thinking it couldn't happen to my family. My heart breaks for her and my prayers go out to her family. What I do know, though, is hashtags and teddy bears are not enough. 

Eat Cake for Breakfast

Eat cake for breakfast.

Have you ever consider it? To be honest, I never really had until the other day when I had some tempting birthday cake calling my name early in the morning. But, of course I thought better of it. After all, who eats cake for breakfast? It  just isn't done. Cake is a dessert that follows a meal like lunch or dinner. Now where did that rule come from?

Coincidentally or not, I came across a kitchen towel that same day that boldly stated Eat Cake for Breakfast. 

I immediately snapped a photo and posted it on Face Book. I was pleasantly surprised by the comments I received.  One friend said that every year on her birthday her mother would serve her toasted left over birthday cake for breakfast for the next few days. What a special memory!  Another commented, "Cake, muffin...it's just wording!" After all they both contain sugar and flour. 

But my favorite comment of all came from a teacher friend who admitted she had purchased that very towel the day before. Now why was I not the least bit surprised? Everything she does in life is summed up perfectly in this kitchen towel. She has such a natural enthusiasm for living and is always looking for the sweetness of the next adventure. 

Now, whether you actually eat cake for breakfast or not is really beside the point. It's more the whole idea of enjoying life to the fullest, and looking for those opportunities presented in the smallest of ways. 

I hope to emulate that sense of adventure that seems to come so effortlessly to her. So in the words of Marie Antoinette, and my very sweet friend, "Let them eat cake!"

The Adventurer and the Clinger

The adventurer and the clinger. 

I was starting up the escalator the other day after leaving Barnes and Noble, when I noticed a little boy no older than four coming down the other side unaccompanied. My first response was to look for his mother, wondering if he had possibly wandered off by himself. A second later I noticed his mother at the top of the stairs. She was holding an infant in her arms, and tucked behind her holding tightly to her hand was another little boy who appeared to be the same age as the first. Twins. 

Except one little boy was a good six or seven steps in front of the rest. In fact, at that point he had actually sat down very contentedly on the escalator stairs. I couldn't help but be intrigued by the differences between the two. One has stepped onto the escalator alone and unafraid, while the other reluctantly had stepped on board only with the reassurance of his mother's hand. 

I wondered why? 

Why are some of us natural born adventurers and others cautious and unsure at every step? The boys were both the same age having the same mother, and yet the way they approached the world was completely different. Now the first brother will probably make a few more trips to the emergency room before he makes it to adulthood. His brother, on the other hand will probably look before he leaps, and may just need a band-aid or two.  However, is one way necessarily better than the other when it comes to living a life? Sure the first brother might end up with a few more adventures, but the second might not end up with so many troubles. 

It really got me to thinking about the whole "nature vs nurture" question. Once again as much as we may want to be different than we are, our true nature will usually win out. Gretchen Rubin, author and blogger, states, "We can choose what we do, but not what we like to do." Even at a young age, this was pretty much apparent in these two brothers. 

The Make-Over

The make-over. 

Have you ever had a make-over? I remember back in high school one of my classmates had a make-over that was featured in a trendy teen magazine. I was totally impressed, and secretly wished that one day I might be a make-over recipient. I had always loved seeing those before and after transformations, and wondered if their was a beautiful swan hidden inside of me. 

Fast forward about forty years, and I was reading a blog written by an over sixty woman who wrote about getting a make-over on each new birthday. I thought it was a fabulous idea so I went for mine the other day. I figured it might be time to move onto some new shades, and get some professional advice about which make-up choices were best for me at this age. 

I was lucky that my daughter was in town and she was able to accompany me. She knew all the right questions to ask, and guided me through the process. It was fun trying out new products, even though I was somewhat limited in being able to see anything without my reading glasses! 

My new products were foundation, concealer, powder, blush, eye liner and eye shadow. It turns out that her choice of lip color for me was one I was already using, so I felt like I might have been somewhat on the right track when it came to color choices.  When she was done I must admit I didn't really look all that different, but I was pleased with the results. To make it even sweeter, I was able to pay for my new make-up using a birthday gift card. 

As much fun as it was to have my make-over I still think I like the advice of Marilyn Monroe even more, "A smile is the best make-up any girl can wear."

Playful

Playful. 

Bill Watterson, creator of the Calvin and Hobbes comic strip stated in a commencement address that, "A playful mind is inquisitive." 

This past week I had an opportunity to spend time with my seven month old grandson. What I enjoyed most was watching him play with his toys. It was quite apparent that his 
inquisitiveness was related to each toy he reached for which predictably ended up in his 
mouth. Why is it that we so instinctively know to provide opportunities for play during childhood, but seem to think it no longer necessary in our later years? 

Remaining playful begins with being inquisitive. Looking for ways that things are connected, for patterns, and for novelty are all ways to remain inquisitive. 

One of my former co-workers and her husband are taking their children on a once-in-a-lifetime trip throughout Europe. Her youngest, who loves to bake, was thrilled to test out a Macaroon from a Parisian bakery. It was on her bucket list of things to do in Paris. 

Remaining open to new experiences allows the mind to stay playful. I think we 
can all take a lesson from this little adventurer that the best way to travel 
through life is to remain inquisitive and playful. 

Questions and Answers

Questions and answers. 

"There are years that ask questions and years that answer," are words of wisdom spoken by author Zora Neale Hurston. 

For me the the first six years after retiring were years of questions. I had only known myself as a teacher and struggled with what to do next. However, this past school year has been more of an answering year for me. I have come to a contentment in the direction I am headed. 

Now to be honest, these questioning years are often times challenging, but they do seem to be necessary for growth. It was during these years that I came to know myself more fully and deeply. This past year has provided me with a myriad of answers on many levels. 

Because I am a questioner by nature I anticipate there will be more years of questions, but more importantly I am now able to move forward using the wisdom of the answers revealed. This journey does require patience, though, because the answers do not always come as quickly as we would prefer. But luckily, once they do arrive, you may find that they were worth the wait. Are you living in a questioning year or an answering year right now?

A Change of Taste

A change of taste. 

I think I have come to the conclusions that I'm really not that crazy about Mexican Food anymore. For years my go-to food was always cheese enchiladas, rice and beans. I've been feeling this way lately, but I didn't want to admit it was true. How could my all time favorite not quite be so appealing anymore? Isn't being a lover of Tex Mex food standard fare for being a Texan? 

But don't they say something about your taste buds changing every seven years? Or is that actually how often you are supposed to change your mattress? I always seem to get those two mixed up! 

What I've found lately though, is that I really seem to be enjoying a lighter type of food. A more farm to table or Mediterranean style seems to be more satisfying, and to be honest, I really enjoy my own cooking. Now I'm not a gourmet chef, but once I left the cream-of-whatever behind my cooking took on a whole new level. 

There was a time when I was content to eat without truly tasting, but now I find myself wanting to really savor the flavor of food more. I have mentioned her before, but Julia Child's attitude about food has become my own, "You don't have to cook fancy or complicated masterpieces-just good food from fresh ingredients."

Being Sixty

Being sixty. 

Today I am sixty. Ten years older than my mother ever was. Older than many of my high school classmates who left this world too soon. Today I am older than I have ever been, and younger than I will ever be. 

The face in the mirror is still familiar, but showing its age. The same can be said for the rest of me, but although caring for my health is a priority, I don't want the natural effects of aging to be my only focus. 

Being sixty is a privilege. Being sixty has allowed me to be a wife, a mother, a teacher, and 
now a grandmother. Being sixty has provided me the time to know and like myself. As 
Socrates so aptly reminds us, "The unexamined life is not worth living." Being sixty has allowed for wisdom to mature. Being sixty has allowed me the freedom of time no longer belonging to someone else. Being sixty has afforded me friendships that began in childhood. 

Being sixty is a privilege, and not something to be overlooked or denied. So I will approach this next decade, not with trepidation or sadness over lost youth, but rather with a sense of possibility and adventure looking forward to each new birthday I am blessed to receive. 

Coincidence

Coincidence.

Coincidence is, "the occurrence of events that happen at the same time by accident but seem to have some connection." Do you subscribe to the idea of coincidence? Do you view it as totally random events or something generated by divine intervention?

Let me tell you my story. Over ten years ago my daughter was going to be confirmed. That Sunday morning I did what I always did sitting down in my usual spot at church.  Except for some reason I felt extremely thirsty and decided to get up for a drink of water. I had never done that before. 

On the way back to my seat I noticed an older gentleman dressed handsomely in his Army uniform. Now, to be honest I don't usually make it a practice to go up to a complete stranger and strike up a conversation. Okay, maybe in the line at the grocery store!   However, I literally felt compelled to approach him and start up a conversation. Now part of the pull might have been the fact that he appeared to be around the age of my father who had also been in the Army. Actually it was the first thing I said to him when I approached him. 

It wasn't long before his wife joined us, and as our conversation continued I learned that their grandson was being confirmed as well, and they had traveled from Florida for the occasion. I relayed that I had lived in Florida as a child during the late sixties because my father had been stationed there. To make a long story short, it turned out that they had lived in the same neighborhood right around the corner. But to make matters even more unbelievable, he had been stationed with Dad in New York as well, and we had actually lived upstairs from them. Their older son had been one of my running buddies, and it had been me that had raced home on my bicycle to alert them to the fact that he had been hit by a car and was injured. 

What were the chances? And even more remarkable what were the chances that I would just so happen to get up from my seat for a drink of water, and on my way back walk right over to him to strike up a conversation? It really was completely mind blowing. 

Coincidence or not?

The Trap of the Familiar

The trap of the familiar. 

The other morning I woke up and gave some thought to what I wanted to do that day. Oh, the joys of retirement!  I found myself leaning toward the familiar; all the things I usually did. Except I decided I wanted to be a little more adventurous that day. 

There was a local coffee shop that I had been wanting to visit for quite a while. I figured I could take a few unread magazines and try it out that morning. I also decided in the vein of adventure to try something new to drink. I had never tried chai tea before, and thought I might begin with an iced chai latte. 

I wondered why for me trying something new was did not come naturally to me? I'm usually hesitant because I'm afraid I'm not going to like it, and I'll feel like I missed out on something I already knew to be good. 

Some of this has to do with a Dr. Pepper experience from my childhood. To this day I won't drink it, and can't even stand the smell. I guess when I ordered that unfamiliar drink and was so disappointed in the taste,  it kind of set a precedent for me when it came to trying new things. 

Now, to be perfectly honest I can't say I absolutely loved the iced chai tea. I kept thinking it needed more sweetness. However, I don't regret trying it or visiting the coffee shop. Whether something turns out amazing or not, is sometimes not the point. Rather it's the experience itself that is the important thing. Onward to the next adventure. 

Mission Statement

Mission statement. 

A mission statement is a, "formal summary of the aims and values of a company, organization, or individual." Seven years ago when I entered my first attempt at retirement I really had no idea what I wanted to do. I had no real direction or sense of myself as anything other than an elementary school teacher. 


As I have stated before this lack of direction allowed drift to take over. However, the time allowed me to be able to reflect on myself as more than just a teacher, and what I wanted from the next stage of my life. 

Through this blog, and the incorporation of writing in my life again I decided that a mission statement might be in order. A mission statement would guide me as each new experience came along. I would be able to judge whether it was adding to or taking away from my mission. 

I knew that this statement would have to include my love of learning, whether that was in a formal classroom or not. My love of writing would have to continue, and my constant quest 
for creativity would have to be met. In addition, I also knew that my natural love of 
encouraging others would have to be tied to the statement. 

So the following mission statement seemed to fall into place as I envisioned my future; To be a student of life incorporating creativity along the way, and encouraging others to do the same. I am excited as I look forward to remaining true to the aims and values I hold dear.